I KNOCK SOFTLY ON JETT’S door.
I know he’s expecting me.
The door creaks open exposing a dim light and a shirtless Jett.
“Evening,” he says flippantly.
“Hey.”
“You know, this ritual is starting to bug London. She thinks there’s something going on with us, and she’s jealous she can’t join in.”
“I highly doubt talking about all my jumbled feelings is going to excite her.”
“Sexually, no. But she likes you, Ellie. She wants things to work out with you and Kayne. I do, too. I didn’t realize how much I missed having you around. I even miss dressing you up.” He grins.
“And by dressing me up, you mean seeing me naked.”
“Exactly.” He shoots a finger and winks.
I roll my eyes.
“So? What are we chatting about tonight?” He walks outside, and we take our usual seat on the ledge of the wooden walkway right outside his bungalow.
I shrug as I gaze up at the sky. It’s the middle of the night and the stars look like a blanket woven together by streaks of silver clouds.
“We went skydiving today.”
“I heard. Twice. Someone is a closet adrenaline junkie.” I don’t think Jett realizes how true that statement is. I bite my lip nervously. “Ellie? Can I be frank?”
“Are you ever not frank?”
“You’ve got me there. So here I go. I feel like there is something you want to talk about. Something very deep-seated and dark. But you’re holding back. Am I right?”
I stare at Jett. How the fuck does he do that?
“Kayne told me about his mother,” I divert.
Jett nods. “I figured he would. He told you way sooner than he told me. Took him years.”
“She really just abandoned him like that?”
“Apparently. I’ve tried to talk him into looking for her. See what happened and get some closure, but he doesn’t want anything to with it. That wound is just too deep.”
“It nearly killed me when he told me. To see him hurt that much.” My heart is still stinging.
“Yeah, but being with you is definitely filling a void in him.”
“You think?”
“Definitely. He actually smiles now. Like genuinely smiles. And he isn’t so uptight either. I swear there were times he was so tense, I worried he was going to trigger a natural disaster.”
“That sounds pretty extreme.”
“Yeah, well, Kayne is pretty extreme.” He swings his bare feet.
“Then I guess I haven’t experienced the eye of the storm yet.”
“What do you mean?”
I fiddle with my hair, running my fingers through my low ponytail manically. “You weren’t wrong when you said there was something deep-seated and dark that I wanted to talk about.”
“Go on.” Jett is now tremendously invested in our conversation.
“I just feel like Kayne is holding back.”
“Holding back? His feelings?” Jett raises his eyebrows.
“No, he’s very clear about how he feels, but physically he treats me very delicately. That’s the best way I can describe it.”
“Delicately,” Jett ponders. “Like, makes sweet love to you?”
“Like he’s suddenly taken a liking to vanilla.”
“Oh.”
“And your tastes have evolved beyond vanilla.”
“Way beyond.” I turn red.
“You want him to dominate you?”
“I want him to own me. The way he used to,” I admit. Is there a hole I can crawl into and die?
“Oh, you are far gone.”
“I’m crazy.” I put my face on my hands.
“No, you’re not. You were exposed to the lifestyle, and you liked it. It’s perfectly normal, and it speaks volumes about how you feel about Kayne and the bond the two of you share.”
“But everything is so different now. I don’t think he wants that with me anymore.”
“I disagree. He’s afraid he’s going to scare you off.”
“That’s funny, because I’m scared of the same thing.”
“Impossible. Short of you sprouting a dick, that man isn’t going anywhere. And trust me when I tell you, even if he isn’t showing it, he wants to own you just as much as you want him to.”
“What do I do?” I ask anxiously.
“Sweet thing, the best advice I can give you is to put on your big girl panties and tell your man what you want. Communication is important in any relationship, but it is vital in the one you’re after.”
“Why is communication such a scary thing?” I bite my nail.
“I don’t know. You seem to have no problem communicating with me.”
“I don’t sleep with you.” I elbow him.
“I know, it’s such a shame.” Jett shakes his blond head.
“Jett,” I chastise him.
“What? Kayne is stingy. I share.”
“Maybe if our communicating goes well, I can persuade him.”
“Sweets, if your communicating goes well, I’ll never see that cute little pussy again.”
“I didn’t realize you wanted me.” I bat my eyelashes flirtatiously. It’s an empty gesture, but it’s still fun to play around.
Jett leans in close to me. “Do you remember the first time we met and you asked me if Kayne and I both owned you?”
“Yes.” My eyes widen.
“If it had been up to me, we would have.”
“Seriously?”
“Mmm hmm.” He moves in a little closer and inhales me. It actually makes me tingle. Don’t get me wrong, Jett is, well, Jett. He’s smooth and seductive and drop dead gorgeous, but I never considered he actually wanted me like that. Up until this moment, we’ve always just exchanged flirtatious banter. It was innocent at best, but at the moment he’s stirring something very deep inside me. Something surprising. Don’t misunderstand, I’d never be unfaithful to Kayne—unless he gave me his permission. “I think it’s time for you to go, Ellie,” Jett says like I’m in danger. Like he’s a vampire catching a whiff of forbidden blood.
“I think you’re right.” We both stand up hastily.
“I also think this is our last late-night conversation. You know what you want and how you feel. You don’t need me anymore. Just be the strong girl we all know you are and take it slow.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and smiles. “You need a haircut.”
“I know,” I laugh. “Kayne likes it long.”
“You’re beautiful either way.”
“Thanks.”
“Now go make my best friend a happy man.” Jett spanks me. “He deserves it, and so do you,” he whispers then kisses me on the cheek. It feels like he just cut the last string of the past, and I’m perfectly okay with that.
More okay than I have been in twelve months.
I CLOSE THE DOOR TO the bedroom as quietly as I can. The room is darker than usual, the shades to the sliding glass doors are pulled, and all the window treatments are drawn. Strange.
“You and Jett have a nice chat?” Kayne’s voice startles the hell out of me in the darkness.
“Jesus.” I jump as he flicks on a small light. I turn to find him standing behind me, leaning against the wall, shirtless, with his arms and legs crossed and his eyes a harrowing black. “What are you doing up?”
“I could ask the same, but I already know.” His voice is as cold as his stare.
“Why is it so dark in here?”
“Complements my mood.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” He stalks across the room toward me. “Maybe it’s the fact you sneak out of bed every night to see my best friend.”
“Just to talk,” I respond automatically.
“Yeah, talk. Talking is important. I talk to you, Ellie. I tell you my deepest darkest secrets. I slice myself open and let my emotions pour out and what do you do? You leave. Not one night do you have the decency to stay with me. So tell me, little girl, is there something going on between you and Jett?” He crowds me, forcing me to step backward. “Do you want him, Ellie? Do you want him now that you know all about poor, pathetic Kayne and his fucked-up issues?”
“No.” I bump up against the wall. “It isn’t like that.”
“Then what is it like? Tell me.”
“We’re just friends,” I scramble. Pissed off Kayne is a scary thing. “He was there; he’s the only one who knows what happened between us. Who else am I supposed to talk to?” Tears cloud my vision.
“Who else?” Kayne seethes. “Me!”
I jump. “How am I supposed to talk to you about you?”
“You can talk to me about anything. I have been trying, Ellie, really trying to be everything you want, everything you need. But it’s just not enough. I will never ever be enough.” He hits his chest with a closed fist.
“That’s not true. You’re everything.”
“Then why run to Jett?”
“Because I was confused!”
“About what?”
“How I felt.”
“About me?”
“Yes, at first and then . . . then . . .”
“Then?” He hangs on my last word.
“What I wanted.”
“Wanted!? You don’t want me, Ellie?”
“No . . .” I shake my head flustered. “Yes! Of course I want you. It’s just . . .” My lip quivers, this is not how I pictured this conversation going.
“Just? Dammit, Ellie, tell me!” Kayne erupts.
I start to breathe heavily as the tears roll down my cheeks. I hate that I’m being such a girl, but this hard for me, wanting something so taboo. More than wanting . . . dying for.
“I want you,” I profess.
“You have me.”
“Only part of you,” I contest.
Kayne looks at me like he’s staring at one of those crazy 3D pictures.
“What are you trying to tell me?” He steps forward and takes my face in his hands, wiping away my tears with his thumbs.
“Being with you changed me.” I look up at him. Now that he’s a little calmer, it’s easier for me to talk. “You made me want things. Things I could never want with anyone else.”
“Things?” There’s surprise in his voice.
I nod, pressing my cheek into his palm.
He stares silently for several long moments. “Are you telling me what I think you’re telling me?” Fire ignites in his eyes and burns straight through to my core.
I nod again.
“Ellie,” he breathes my name, and it sounds excruciating. “I don’t know.”
“Please.”
“If I open Pandora’s Box, I don’t think I’ll be able to close it again.”
“You won’t have to.”
“I’m not sure I want to take that chance. I swore to myself I wouldn’t hurt you. I wouldn’t give you another reason to leave me. I don’t know if I could survive losing you again. You mean too much.”
“You won’t lose me. I want it as much as you do.”
He shakes his head, clearly torn.
“Guarantee me,” he demands. “Guarantee me that if we do this you will still be here, you’ll still want me.”
“I promise. I need you.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I need you to own me.”
“Why?” He searches my face intensely. I shrug.
“Maybe you’re not the only one with a beast inside you.”
“Shit, baby, that could be a dangerous thing.”
“I know, and I don’t care.”
I’m being reckless, I’m fully aware, but Kayne is my drug of choice and I can’t wait to get high. He looks me in the eye, hesitant to act.
“I told you, I want all of you. All your sides.” I try to reassure him. Coax him. I thought he would jump at this opportunity, but his reluctance only makes me want him more, care about him more. It tells me how precious I really am to him. How he really meant those words he spoke back in that room, my luxury prison.
“Beg me.”
I smile. “Please, please.” I lean in and try to kiss him, but he stops me, trapping my head with his hands that are still clutching my face.
“I didn’t give you permission to move,” he growls, and I shiver. That voice. That stern, commanding, all-encompassing voice that makes my insides flip-flop.
“Yes, Kayne,” I reply obediently, and that seems to stir something inside him.
“Fuck,” he mutters to himself like he knows he’s in trouble. Like he just gave in. “Kneel. Now.”
I drop in front of him, surrendering complete control, pressing my forehead to the wood floor attempting to get as low as possible.
“Good kitten.” At the use of my pet name, I literally liquefy. My panties drench with want and my pussy pulsates with need.
“Stay,” he orders, and then I hear his heavy footsteps move around the room. I’m shaking; I’m so anxious, nervous, and excited.
A few moments later, he returns to me. “Ellie, look up.”
I raise the upper half of my body but remain on my knees. Kayne lovingly runs one finger under my jawbone while he stares down. There are so many emotions playing across his face—worry, elation, fascination, and fear. I’m so entrapped by him; I don’t notice what he’s holding in his left hand until he moves to wrap it around my neck. The light in the room is dim, but I can still make out the leather belt with the double holes along its entire length. Kayne fastens it, leaving just enough room for me to breathe, yet tight enough to keep me in line. He yanks on the end forcing me to my feet.
He’s panting as hard as I am as he backs me up against the wall. “Ellie, what’s your safe word?”
Safe word? He’s never let me have one of those before. Things really are different.
“Cupcake,” I exhale.
“Good.” He places his thumb on my lower lip and drags it down. “I want you to know what’s going to happen next. I’m going to beat you, then fuck you, and I expect you to thank me when it’s all over. Understand?”
I nod, dry mouthed.
“I’m very upset with you, kitten. You left me. You walked away and didn’t look back and now you need to be punished. To be reminded of who owns you.” He tugs hard on the belt, jerking my head. “What do you say?”
“Yes, Kayne,” I reply immediately, surprised I can even use my voice.
“Good girl.” He steps back with an hysterical look in his eyes. I know that look—it’s manic, lust-fueled desire. It’s Kayne’s point of no return. “I want you to run, Ellie. I want you to run so I can remind you what happens when even the thought of leaving me crosses your mind.” He snaps another leather belt in front of my face making me jump sky high. Holy shit.
The last time I ran from Kayne, my ass hurt for days, and I definitely remembered who I belonged to. He steps back, giving me some much-needed space.
“Go!” He snaps the belt again, and I take off, tearing out of the bedroom into the living room with Kayne right behind me. I dart and dash, jumping over the couch and knocking over a lamp in an attempt to get away. I scream as Kayne grabs one of my ankles and takes me down. My knees hit the floor hard, but I dig my nails into the wood and attempt crawl away from him. That’s when he hits me the first time. Crack! Right across my backside. I see stars and shriek at the top of my lungs. I’m suddenly caught up in fight or flight, not wanting to suffer another hit. I kick and flail until Kayne loses his grip on my ankle. I hear him chuckle a little; he loves this game. Me, I’m not so sure. I run through the bungalow heaving for air with Kayne still hot on my tail.
“All around the mulberry bush the monkey chased the weasel,” he taunts as he chases me. It’s disturbing. I catch sight of the stairs. We haven’t been up there before, but in a rash decision, I think now is as good a time as any to explore. With my heart jackhammering in my chest, I book it two stairs at a time while Kayne sings behind me, “A penny for a spool of thread. A penny for a needle.” I make it to the top step, and he catches my ankle again. “That’s the way the monkey goes.” He pulls my leg out from underneath me causing me to fall face down on my stomach. “Pop goes the weasel.” Crack! He hits me once more, and I let out a scream.
“Kayne,” I cry as I crawl across the floor away from him. The second floor is an all open space. There is a massage table in front of us, wide-open windows, and a large sundeck with Jacuzzi and lounge chairs. The door to the sauna is all the way in the back.
“Am I making an impression, kitten? Is this what you wanted?” He hauls me up by my shirt, the spandex material ripping slightly. I don’t answer. I just suck in the oxygen my lungs so desperately need.
“I asked you a question, Ellie.” He slams me face first onto the massage table and pins me there with his forearm. Then he hits me again. Whack! Harder than the two times before. Oh shit, my poor ass.
“Is this what you wanted?!” he asks again.
“No, maybe. I don’t know!” Tears stream down my face.
“Do you want me to stop?” he pants.
“Do you want to stop?”
“No, I want to peel your pants down to your thighs, spank you until your ass turns red, then fuck you until you beg me to stop.”
“Then do it! You never gave me the choice before!” I’m not sure what’s driving me here. Residual anger? Overpowering lust? I’m goading him for a reason. I need to know if this is what I truly want. I’ve dreamed about it, obsessed about it, and now I’m facing the moment of truth.
Kayne doesn’t respond. Not verbally anyway, I feel him rip my yoga shorts down to my knees, exposing my bare behind. Oh shit, oh shit, the belt really hurts!
Whack! The first bare blow knocks the wind right out of me. I try to push myself up, but Kayne’s strength overpowers mine.
“You’re not going anywhere.”
Whack!
“Understand?”
Whack!
“Answer!”
Whack!
“Yes, Kayne!” I sob.
“Ever, Ellie. I’m never going to let you go. Ever!”
Whack!
“Ah!” I screech.
“I’ll kill you before I let that happen again.”
WHACK! He hits me again, and I wail like I never have before. My body is strung so tight it feels like my muscles may rip. I whine feebly as I hear the creak of the leather and prepare for another blow, but it doesn’t come. Only the feel of his erection pressing into my ass. The contact is brutal; my backside feels like he lit my skin on fire.
“I’m going to fuck you now. Are you wet for me, baby?” He slides one finger easily into my pussy. Shamefully, I am. I want this man so badly I endured brutality just so he’d fuck me freely, with no reservations, and nothing holding him back.
I nod zealously.
He grabs hold of the end of the belt around my neck and pulls it tautly, forcing my head to snap back. He’s going to ride me like an animal. Like his pet. I grab onto the edge of the table for dear life and brace myself. Good thing, too, because he slams into me violently, the dual sensation of his stabbing cock and stiff hips colliding with my abused ass makes everything inside me constrict to the point of almost painful. “Ohh,” I grate. Kayne said he was going to fuck me and that’s exactly what he does, beating into me over and over, pulling on the belt hard while my body bucks forward. I’m completely helpless, rendered his.
I claw at the table as his cock thickens inside me. Hitting me harder and deeper each time. My body tenses, as an all-consuming orgasm booms like thunder in my core.
When I moan, Kayne moans, when I gasp, Kayne gasps—like we’re in sync. He feels what I feel.
“Come, Ellie,” he grits out as his thrusts become erratic. “Come all over my cock and show me how much you need me.”
My head is twisting with conflicting thoughts, but my body, my body is reveling in the tyrannical way he takes me, the way he commands me. He feels so fucking good, I freely give into the sensations storming inside me, give into Kayne and to my fucked-up desires. I push my throbbing ass back against him and let go, screaming, crying, and moaning as my orgasm unleashes. Then, without any warning, Kayne snaps the belt against my ass cheek just at the height of my pleasure, and I let out a hoarse howl as my climax ratchets up several more notches, sending me flying. The world vaporizes as I get lost in the elongated seconds of extreme ecstasy; Kayne hammering away at me as I drench both of us with my uncontainable arousal.
“So good,” he chants, “so fucking good.” He slams into me one last time, his fingertips piercing into my hips as a sound so powerful and male escapes from him it shakes just a few more drops of pleasure out of me.
The two of us collapse forward, moaning feebly in the aftermath. Kayne’s large, hard body covering mine. After a few long wit-collecting moments, he begins kissing my shoulders; sweet, soft kisses that tickle my skin.
“Ellie?”
“Mmm?” I answer absently, still reveling in the lingering bliss.
“You know I would never kill you right?”
“I hoped you weren’t being serious.” I smirk.
“No.” He tightens his arms around me. “If you decide to leave, I’ll kill myself.”
My eyes pop open. “Kayne, don’t talk like that. No one is killing anyone, and I’m not going anywhere.” I crane my neck to look at him. His eyes are so raw. “I promise.”
We stare vehemently at each other before he wraps his hand around my throat and pulls me against him, crushing his mouth to mine. The kiss is awkward yet passion-filled all at the same time. Kayne is still buried inside me, and I feel him growing hard again. I moan freely, so ready for round two.
“I love you.” He pulls away and digs his face into my neck. “I love you, I love you.”
I smile. “I know. I lo—”
We’re suddenly interrupted by someone banging on the front door.
“Monsieur! Monsieur!”
Kayne and I both freeze. “The night concierge,” he tells me. “I’ll handle it.”
Kayne withdraws from me, and my body frowns. It misses him already. I watch over my shoulder as he pulls on his shorts and hurries down the stairs. I suppose I should do the same, but my body is so sore, and the thought of pulling my pants over my battered ass is distressing. I’m not going to be able to sit down tomorrow, I’m sure of it. Probably not the next day, either, so I just lie there spent.
I listen to the faint voices of Kayne and a very upset concierge. Then I hear something that shocks me. Kayne speaking French. Like fluent, beautiful French. It’s totally arousing. He’s full of so many surprises. And I love surprises.
“Ellie?” I hear Kayne jog up the stairs.
“Mmm hmm?” I answer still draped over the massage table.
Kayne chuckles as he pulls me up. I groan miserably.
“Everything okay?” I ask him.
“Yes, crisis averted.” He kneels in front of me and removes my pants so I’m left standing in just my ripped pink tank top and belt around my neck.
Scratch that, he just pulled off my top. “We scared the neighbors.”
“Us? Preposterous,” I snort.
Kayne laughs, tugging me by the makeshift collar into a quick kiss. “Yes, I had to assure him it was just a bout of rough sex.”
“In French?” I look up at him.
“Yes, speaking his native tongue helped.” He smiles.
“I didn’t know you spoke French.”
“Yup.” Kayne nods. “And Spanish and Arabic and Mandarin.”
“No Italian?” I joke. “Such an underachiever.”
“Tell me about it,” he jokes. “Maybe I can learn a few choice words just for you.”
“Mmm. Maybe.” I lean against him seductively and kiss him right where my name is tattooed on his skin. His chest is warm and smells so good, like sex and sweat and body wash.
“Come on, siren,” he moans. “Let’s take care of that bottom before we go another round.”
“I’m all for another round.”
“In bed,” he promises darkly, then takes the end of the belt and leads me back downstairs. It’s so hot, him toting me around the bungalow, I almost want to purr.
“Lay down,” Kayne commands once we’re back in the bedroom. I slide forward on the bed and stretch my body out like a lazy cat. Kayne’s lazy kitten. He groans appreciatively behind me.
“Relax.” He rubs my back starting from the tip of my tailbone and circling upward. I just sigh, sated, until I feel the tickle of his warm breath against my cheek.
“I’ll be right back.”
“Where are you going?” I protest.
“To get something to rub on your ass. I didn’t exactly come prepared for this.”
“For what?” I question.
“Kink.”
“I think you’re doing a bang-up job so far.”
He glances at me fiendishly then walks out of the room.
“The only thing I could find was Vaseline,” he says as he climbs onto the bed and straddles my thighs. “This might hurt a little.” He rubs the sticky substance over my welts.
I whimper in return. It does hurt. Like a son of a bitch.
“Kitten, are you okay?” Kayne almost sounds worried. I crack my eyes open and look at him over my shoulder. “I’m fine.” I smile. “Better than fine.” I blush.
“I wasn’t expecting that,” he confesses as he wipes his hands with the towel he also brought from the bathroom.
“Neither was I.”
Kayne stares at me quizzically. “I don’t understand.”
“What’s to understand? Being with you changed me. Or awoke something in me.” I try to rationalize.
“You like it when I dominate you?”
I shrug demurely. “Apparently. I like it when you’re rough.”
Kayne palms my sore ass, and I hiss. “You like getting punished?”
I nod silently.
“You like being reminded who you belong to?” He grins like the Cheshire cat.
“Yes. To a point.” I wince as he rubs.
“What happened to you hating being conditioned?”
I touch my chin to my shoulder flirtatiously. “I guess it’s not so bad when it’s my choice.”
“Ellie.” Kayne breathes my name like I’m a deity he worships, burying his face into my neck. “You are so mine.”
Agreed.