Chapter 26

Kylie

I stood there in the sea of people, looking around at all the horrified faces. Ben had disappeared into the business building, and I was left, unable to understand what had just happened. For the first time since everything started to happen, I felt completely lost and alone. I didn’t know what to do or where to turn, and I could feel myself starting to panic. My eyes filled with tears, and I tried to brush them away before someone noticed. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes before walking down to the other entrance and making my way to Grant’s office. I knew I shouldn’t be there, but I needed some comfort. I needed to talk to someone I knew was on my side. Grant and Piper were the only ones left, and Piper was busy at the shop. I knocked on Grant’s door and stood there waiting for him to answer. He opened the door and looked down at me, his smile turning to a frown.

“Come in,” he said, stepping to the side and looking down the hallway. “Are you all right?”

“Yes,” I sniffled watching him close the door. “I just got overwhelmed with everything. I needed to see someone I could trust. You’re the only one left now.”

“Hey, hey, calm down.” He hugged me tightly. “You should be happy. We got those bastards, and you never have to worry about being used for sex again. You also don’t have to worry about getting in trouble and being expelled. It’s all a good thing, right?”

“Yeah,” I sobbed into his shoulder. “It’s really great. I’m shocked the president worked so fast with everything. I thought it would take a long time for them to be removed.”

“Nah, they can’t have this continue like that,” he said, rubbing the hair out of my face. “But you’re still crying.”

“I can’t stop.” If anything, I sobbed even harder. “Stupid hormones.”

“Aw,” he said, squeezing me tightly.

I had to admit, being in Grant’s arms did make me feel a lot better, but I would have felt even calmer if Ben were there too. I never thought it was possible to care about two men so deeply at the same time, but that was where my heart was. Ben, however, had seemed to have a change of heart, and it was killing me.

“You have to think about the women,” Grant said. “You’re a hero. You saved so many women from either being abused or continuing to be abused. Think about the future and how many people you kept from falling victim to those two and just by standing up and saying you wouldn’t take it. I am so damn proud of you on so many levels. It took a lot of courage to go into that office with your phone running.”

“I know,” I said, sighing. “I just wish Ben felt the same way. He has completely pulled away from me and will barely even look at me.”

“Did something happen?”

“I walked up to him in the crowd when the president was talking,” I explained. “He shuddered at my touch and barely said anything to me before walking off and into the building. He is making me feel like a villain, like I purposely got pregnant or something. I don’t understand why he’s so angry with me.”

“He isn’t angry with you,” Grant said.

“Then why does he act that way?”

“He’s angry with himself for how he feels,” he said. “I’ve known Ben a very long time, and he really is a good guy. I think he feels guilty for not knowing what he wants to do. He’s fighting the plan he’s had in motion since he graduated, and now faced with this, he doesn’t know what to do. It’s scary for him. And I completely understand what you’re saying. He won’t really talk to me either.”

“How do we get him to come around?”

“I don’t know,” he said putting his head down. “To be honest, I don’t know if either of us has control over that. We may eventually have to come to terms with the fact he isn’t going to be part of our group anymore. I’ve been trying to talk to him, get him to come around, see the reality of everything, but he’s shutting me out. I really think if we give him some time, he will start to see everything the way we do. I know he’ll miss you. I know he does miss you, but he’s stubborn, and he needs to work through this on his own.”

“I want to scream at him, I’m so angry,” I said, balling my fists. “I am the one who’s pregnant. I don’t get to take a time-out, to decide whether my job is more important or not. He is being selfish, and it makes me so mad.”

“I know.” He leaned in and hugged me again.

“I want to be with both of you,” I said. “That’s what I want, the three of us together.”

“And I want that too,” he replied. “But the reality of it is, we might not have any control over that. I’m trying my hardest to keep us all together, but in the end, he has to make that decision on his own. There are so many things floating around in his head that we don’t know about or understand, and those thoughts are what he’s fighting with. I don’t want you to think he doesn’t care, but in fight or flight situations, he’s flight all of the way. You may have to start to come to terms with the idea of it being you, me, and the baby, at least at the beginning.”

I sat there thinking about what he was saying, knowing he was right, that I couldn’t control what Ben did or thought. I knew pushing him was going to do nothing but make him push back even harder. It was so damn frustrating. Why couldn’t Ben be as caring and supportive through this as Grant was being? I knew it was in him. I had seen it a million times, but the news of this baby had completely sent him over the deep end. I had racked my brain the last couple of days trying to come up with ways to let him see that what we all needed was to be together, but he was blind to it. Every attempt I’d made had been futile, and every attempt Grant had made seemed to push him further away. I wanted both of them, not just one of them in my life. No matter how much I tried to change my mind about it, I couldn’t.

“This is much bigger than our relationship,” I said. “There’s a baby involved now, and I have to think about that child’s future. I am not the only one who needs this. The child does too. I want the three of us to raise the baby together. We all have so much to offer this child, and so many different lessons we can each provide. Ben is a very important factor in this equation.”

“I completely agree with you,” Grant said. “There is not a doubt in my mind that Ben would make an amazing father, but unfortunately, it is not up to either one of us.”

I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to hear that one of the men I had fallen for, given the most private parts of my life to, was stuck in this self-serving place. It wasn’t Ben, and Grant and I both knew that. He was struggling with his moral compass, knowing that where he should be was with us, but it seemed that we weren’t winning that fight. Just the thought of moving on into the future without Ben by our sides broke my heart in half. I cared so much for him and wanted him in my life so badly. I didn’t know if it was the hormones or the pure emotion of it all, but I felt like I had been broken up with. Grant’s love and caring were comforting but not enough, and I couldn’t seem to bring myself to the understanding that this may be over.

“I feel my heart breaking,” I said, starting to cry again. “All of this is such a mess.”

“No, it’s beautiful,” Grant said taking my face into his hands. “You need to start focusing on the positives of all of this. Get excited about the baby, plan for the baby, take steps toward your future. Don’t let Ben take you to a place that is hurtful and unhealthy.”

“I’m so sorry, Grant,” I sobbed. “I never planned to get pregnant.”

“I know,” he said with a kind smile. “But it is what it is, and I want to take a positive outlook on it.”

“I had so many plans for my future just like you and Ben, and this changes everything,” I said. “I’m not angry with the baby, but I’m angry with myself for getting into this situation. I should have been more careful with everything.”

“We should have been more careful,” Grant said. “You are not alone in this, and it’s not your fault. We’re all grown-ups, and we got so caught up in the magic and excitement of it all that we lost track of things. It happens. We aren’t the first, and we won’t be the last. The important thing is that you take care of yourself and know that I am not going anywhere. I am right here.”

“Thank you,” I said, sniffling.

“Of course.” He looked over at the door as someone knocked. “Hold on, okay? I’m in office hours. I’ll get rid of them.”

“No, don’t. Just ask them to wait one minute,” I said, taking in a deep breath.

“Hey,” he said, sticking his head out of the door. “Give me a few moments. I’m with another student.”

He closed the door and walked back over to sit down next to me. I picked up my bag and made sure I had everything. I needed to go home, take some time, and really think about everything. I wiped the tears from my face and fluffed my hair, trying to look presentable when I left. Before he could say a word, I stood up and walked to the door, opening it just slightly and turning back to him.

“Thanks for all your help professor,” I said with a fake enthusiasm in my voice.

I looked down to hide my puffy eyes and held the door for the next student. I walked down the hall, flinching at the sound of the door shutting behind me. I was really starting to hate being at that school. Too much had happened in such a short amount of time. I walked out the side door, not wanting to be seen by the press since I had been crying. They were all standing around outside, but the president and police were gone. I crossed over into the parking lot and pulled out my keys.

Once I was in the car, I turned it on and hit the heat, trying to warm it up. I was shaking from the cold and from the idea that my life had been turned upside down in an instant. Immediately, I started crying, looking around to make sure that no one could see me. I put my forehead down on the steering wheel and let the waves of emotion take over. Everything was a disaster, and I had no idea how to fix it.