Chapter 5
Bastian
I tapped my fingers impatiently against my desk while staring at the clock on the wall above my office door. Where the fuck is she? In the years Joanna had worked for me, not once had she ever been more than five minutes late. Even a minute late. She was always early, Monday through Friday.
I had arrived early with the blind hope that she would be sitting at her desk as usual at 7:45 a.m., but her desk was empty alongside Roger’s. Unease filled my stomach all over again, and it only fueled my foul mood.
Drusilla had been a nightmare after witnessing me storming over to protect Joanna. She hadn’t been upset over the fact that Joanna’s piece-of-shit boyfriend had pulled a gun on me or that he had clearly been hurting Joanna. Her anger had been about me rushing over to help while we were on our way to get my car, which was parked farther up the street from where Joanna had come out of the club.
“I’m your date for the evening,” she said coldly. “And yet you’re paying more attention to that employee of yours than anyone else.”
I ran a hand along my face tiredly. Friday night had been a shit-show, but the rest of the weekend had followed suit as well. I couldn’t get Joanna out of my mind. There had been several times I’d considered texting, calling, or even just writing up a quick email to make sure she was okay. There was no doubt in my mind about what had most likely happened after Joanna had gotten into that unmarked car.
Sid Alvarez. That was the name Joanna had put under her emergency contacts, and with my own resources, I had done some digging over the weekend. He was a crooked cop who ran the drug tactical force here in Salt Lake City. He’d been fired from another police department in New York City for increasing reports of violent behavior and complaints about his mishandling of investigations. A few people had threatened lawsuits, too.
I wanted the bastard’s badge and gun—the one he had pulled on me. And yet I hesitated to file my own complaint this morning because of Joanna’s empty desk. I wasn’t a fool. I didn’t want to sit idly by while my employee was being abused, but I couldn’t do a damn thing about this situation. Not without Joanna’s go-ahead, and it wasn’t my business who Joanna found herself tangled up with.
I wasn’t the better option. She’d still end up hurt at the end of the day because I couldn’t commit to anyone. Not after what had happened with Sierra. But at least I wasn’t an abusive asshole.
“Mr. Burke.”
“What?” I snapped, glaring down at my phone, where Roger’s voice had come from. He was back in the office today. “What is it?”
“Ashton Wilkes is here,” Roger said. “Do you want me to—”
“Send him in,” I interrupted. “Is Joanna in yet?”
“Not yet, sir. I—”
“Call her,” I snapped, a headache throbbing in my temples. “Make sure you get ahold of her. She is never late.”
“Of course, sir. I will do that right away.”
The doors to my office opened a few seconds later. A frown tugged at Ashton’s lips as he sat down in front of me.
“What’s going on here?” he asked. “Everyone seems to be running away from you this morning.”
“Nothing. There is nothing going on. What are you doing here?”
Ashton sat back in his chair. “Wow, you’re in a foul mood. I’m here to talk about the fashion company we talked about last week. Remember?”
“Fuck.” I sat back in my chair with an aggravated sigh. I had spaced out on answering any work emails over the weekend, from Ashton or anyone in general. “I had a rough weekend. I’ll get all the documents and lawyers involved here by the end of tomorrow.
“All right,” Ashton said. “What happened this weekend?”
It didn’t feel right talking to Ashton about what I had witnessed outside the club. It wasn’t anyone’s business, but I felt sick with concern now that it was 8:30 a.m. with no word from Joanna.
“I had a bad weekend is all,” I said coolly. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll send over those documents once I get them drafted up by the lawyers. Let’s move on this company while we still can, before another management firm does.”
“Sounds good, boss.”
Ashton rose from his chair to walk out of my office without exchanging another word. Just like my employees, he knew that when I was angry, I wanted to be left alone to my own devices. I needed the downtime to think about what to do about Joanna when she did come in. There was no point in trying to squeeze any information out of her when she was already upset and visibly embarrassed by the situation. I had a grim feeling that what had happened last night had happened more than I wanted to think about.
I rose from my office chair to pace around in front of the windows. Dark clouds had gathered on the horizon, a threatening sign of a heavy snowfall. I kept my eyes trained on the street and parking lot below for Joanna’s car, but more time ticked by and there was no sign of her. I picked up my phone to dial Joanna’s personal cell number, but it went to voice mail after ringing for a minute.
“Damn it,” I muttered and sat back down in my chair to focus on the tasks ahead. “Where the fuck is she?”
I couldn’t even remember the last time I had felt this concerned about a woman’s well-being. Sierra, it seemed, had sucked that completely out of me for a long period of time. After finding Sierra in bed, my bed, with another man, I had learned quickly that caring so much about someone was a really quick way to hurt yourself. People always hurt you, no matter how much they promised they wouldn’t.
Those wedding vows? To love through sickness and in health? To protect? Bullshit. It had been utter bullshit with Sierra, who didn’t care much for wedding vows. She cared about money and playing mind games to get more money. That much was clear from the years after our divorce, and from pulling on my heartstrings every chance she could.
Letting go of that perfect picture in my head hadn’t been easy; Sierra had made sure it was hard for me to let go of her. The late-night phone calls that ended up with her crying over the phone about not knowing what she really wanted? It all had been some fucked-up ploy to keep me coming back to her because I felt the urge to protect her from the world. I was the one who needed protection from Sierra at the end of the day.
It was different with Joanna, though. She didn’t have a foul bone in her body, or an evil one. I had never heard her swear aside from that one time I had walked out of my office. She did her job without complaint, but it was her sweet nature that drew me in. Something about her calm and quiet nature softened the edges inside me. She didn’t care about money, either. Everything about her life was modest, from her soft-spoken attitude to her clothes.
Saturday night, I had attended a charity event that required my attendance even though I had been in no mood to be around others. I had drunk quite a bit on the ride there to shake off the agitated feelings that kept bubbling in my stomach all weekend. Not even some of the women, who were incredibly sexy in their nice dresses, had appeased the feeling inside me. I had ended up drunk and alone back at my penthouse, stroking myself to the image of Joanna bent over my desk. Hot shame flooded through me again when I thought about how amazing that orgasm had been.
It was obvious that Joanna was in a dangerous situation with her boyfriend, but here I was jerking off to the thought of fucking her. What was the difference between the two of us? I had never once abused a woman by laying a hand on her, or by playing fucked-up mind games to get what I wanted. I let every single woman I’d ever been with know that I wasn’t interested in long-term commitments. I didn’t pretend to be a nice guy up front to get what I wanted.
I smoothed a hand through my hair with an aggravated sigh. It was well over thirty minutes past the time that Joanna needed to be clocked in. Maybe it would be worth it to call the police to do a welfare check, but her boyfriend was the police. I knew how that situation would go down the second I called.
The doors to my office opened. I glanced over my shoulder to see Roger stepping in with a nervous expression, a few files in his hand. He set them down on the filing cabinet for me to look through.
“Did you call her?” I asked crisply. “Joanna is never late.”
“Her boyfriend called,” Roger replied with a grimace. “Said she wasn’t feeling good this morning, but he would be dropping her off in a few minutes.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” I muttered darkly. None of it surprised me. I knew how guys like Sid worked. Once they smelled competition, they grew more territorial over their women. “Don’t let that man in my office if he comes in with Joanna. If he makes any kind of scene, get me immediately, call security, and call the police.”
Roger’s eyes visibly widened at the instructions. “Is everything all right, Mr. Burke?”
“Everything will be fine,” I replied and turned to look out over Salt Lake City again. “That’s all, Roger. Thank you.”
“Sir.” Roger shifted on the balls of his feet. “I hope you can get Joanna away from him. I think she needs help getting away from her boyfriend.”
“You know that something has been going on?” I asked.
“I’ve had a few suspicions,” Roger said. Fear danced in his eyes. “Her boyfriend, the cop guy, threatened to kill me one time when I walked Joanna out to her car one day. He had been sitting in an unmarked car with another officer. I think this problem has been going on for a while.”
“I think so, too,” I said, nodding. “Thank you, Roger. Get her in here when she arrives.”
An intense rage filled me when Roger closed the doors to my office. This had been going on for a while now that I thought about it. The strange phone calls to Joanna all the time that the receptionist complained to me about. A marked car that constantly cruised by the office. Joanna’s jittery behavior at the end of the day when she packed up. It made sense why she practically lived at the office with me, and yet not once had she mentioned her fears about returning home. She never brought up how happy she was with her boyfriend, either.
It all made perfect sense while I paced along the windows. I tried to call Joanna again. This time, it went straight to voice mail, and I shoved my phone back into my pants pocket with an irritated sigh. I knew without a doubt that her boyfriend had her phone because she never ignored any of my calls. Unease filled me again as I barked orders at Roger when he entered my office a few minutes later to ask what I wanted to do with a credit card debt collection contract that needed to be completed by the end of the day.
I didn’t feel an ounce of guilt for biting off Roger’s head. If anything had happened to Joanna during the weekend, then I would never forgive myself for not doing more to help her.