Cade

 

Conall’s eyes were wide as Harlan escorted him into the garage area and told him where he could stay so he was out of the way. Deep down, I knew there was no way this douchebag was here just to meet his kid. He had other motives, I just didn’t know what they were.

Harlan went down to where her car was parked and readied herself for her first practice round. She was so incredibly sexy with the arms of her fire suit tied around her waist. Her tight, red tee shirt stretched across her gorgeous breasts, making me wish I could throw her over my shoulder and take her somewhere quiet for a little while. Her coppery hair pulled back tight in a French braid and not a stitch of makeup on her face, she was the most incredible woman I’d ever seen.

I had to break my gaze from her, so the guys and I could get Julius’s car ready for him to practice. I also watched Conall. He stood back and watched Harlan prepare for her practice run. With fire suit zipped up and her helmet and HANS device on, she climbed into her car.

The plan here was simple, get this asshole to let his guard down so we could see why he was here. I didn’t want to begrudge Dillon from meeting his biological father, but I also wasn’t about to let some prick from Harlan’s past threaten what we could have. Harlan and Dillon were my family, whether it was official or not, and I wasn’t letting anyone hurt them. Both teams knew what was happening and were on board with helping to make him feel relaxed enough to hopefully talk.

Just as Harlan was pulling her rumbling beast of a car out of the garage area, Toni walked up to Conall and introduced herself. She had planned on allowing him to sit in the fifty-five’s tower with her and Kyle, that way she could talk to him and I would be able to hear through the headsets. Conall followed Toni up into the tower on the pretense of being able to see Harlan’s run from a better perspective. She talked to him about lap times, and the importance of practice runs before Saturday’s race.

Through the day of watching all the drivers practice, Conall started to talk to her, and flirt with her. Several times I had to remind Julius that Toni wasn’t up there on her own. That she could handle herself, and she had Kyle right beside her.

“So, what’s such a beautiful woman doing working on cars?” Conall asked Toni. A couple hours had passed since we entered the garage area. Julius and Harlan had already gone through several practice runs, while Toni did everything she could to make Conall feel welcome and comfortable.

“I’ve been a mechanic since I was a kid. I went to school for mechanical engineering and entered a program to train for NASCAR.” She was kind and her voice sweet, but I knew that voice; she was trying desperately to keep the sarcasm out of her tone.

“After this, maybe we could get outta here for a while, maybe you could show me some of the area?”

Julius and I listened through the headphones. He was getting fired up, and I was trying to figure out if I should put a stop to this before Conall got himself killed. But then Toni had a breakthrough.

“I thought you were here for Harlan?”

Conall laughed. “I was. I heard she was making something of herself, I had to see. I’m not even sure if the kid is mine, but I’ll lay claim to get back into her life.”

“I’m not willin’ to share,” Toni said, laying it on thick.

“Oh, you won’t. Harlan and the kid don’t mean anything to me. It’s just good business. So, how about it, dinner?”

“I don’t think so,” she said. Her tone was angry. “I’m engaged to the irate race car driver standin’ there.”

Toni didn’t say anything more. From where I stood, I could see the smile on her face as she nodded down toward Julius. Conall followed her gaze, and his face paled when he saw Julius. Then he saw me standing there with the headphones on my ears, he knew I heard the entire conversation.

“You bitch,” Conall snapped at Toni. He started to move toward her, but Kyle was between them before Conall could move. Julius and I were also at the bottom of the tower, ready to go after him if necessary. It wasn’t.

When Conall reached the bottom of the ladder, he didn’t even look at Julius. He glared at me instead, pissed. “So, what?” he asked. “He’s still my kid, and there’s nothing you can do about that.”

“There isn’t anything I can do about it, but I’ve been researchin’, you have no legal rights to Dillon. You aren’t on his birth certificate; therefore, you aren’t his father. If you want to pursue it, you can, but it’s gonna take a lot of money and time. Money, you don’t currently have.”

Conall narrowed his eyes at me, a low growl coming from his throat. I’d successfully pissed him off.

“I’ve done some other diggin’ about you. See, I know a lot of people, and I’m told that you’re tapped out. Your wife took you to the cleaners after yet another affair with an underaged girl. Last I checked, that girl’s parents are takin’ you to court for statutory rape. You shouldn’t be havin’ sex with fifteen and sixteen-year-old girls at your age,” I scolded. “You’ve gotta be back in Ireland Monday for your preliminary hearing; I suggest you just leave now.”

Conall stood there, unable to speak. All the color drained from his face. For being a lawyer, he wasn’t a very good one. It had only taken Monique a few minutes, in a background check, to find this very public information. Conall’s indiscretions were plastered all over Irish media, and more girls were coming forward, adding to those charges. When Harlan and I discussed Conall’s apparent motives, she had no interest in adding to those charges, insisting that she was beyond Ireland’s age of consent when she was with Conall. She just wanted him out of hers and Dillon’s lives, and I was going to do everything I could to make sure that happened. Even if I had to drive Conall to the airport and buy his ticket myself.

Harlan walked up behind Conall, her eyes flashed with fury. She knew what Monique’s background check showed and that his finances were in the toilet.

“How dare you?” Harlan snarled, tears in her beautiful brown eyes. “How dare you come here and try to take something away from my son. Did you honestly think I was the stupid, naïve girl you knew all those years ago? Did you think I was so trusting that I would allow you in our lives without checking up on you first? I did my own digging once we found out you had so many legal issues. I got in touch with Meara, and she told me she no longer worked for you because of your… dalliances.”

“Harlan,” Conall said, reaching for her. I stepped forward, but I didn’t have to defend my fiery ginger. Her hand connected with his cheek, turning it instantly red.

“You daft prick.” Her Irish accent was thicker than usual. “Keep your fecking hands off. Just go back to Ireland and try to piece your life back together. There’s nothing for you here. And I promise, if you try to fight me on this, I will take you for all you have left.”

Harlan stomped across the garage to the women’s locker room, with Toni following close behind.

Conall slumped his shoulders and looked down, probably unsure and outnumbered.

An employee of the race track came running over to where Julius, Kyle, and I stood. “Mr. Redding, the car you ordered is here.”

“Thanks,” Kyle said. He looked to Conall. “There’s your car to take you to the airport. It’s time for you to go.”

Conall relented and followed the attendant. Before he got too far, he turned back. He appeared to have something to say, but turned and hurried after the attendant. I sighed, happy that drama was over. It could have been so much worse.

***

Sunday afternoon I stood behind the wall at Bristol Motor Speedway, preparing for the next pit stop. I was focused on my job, but was suddenly jolted out of my thoughts to Toni’s panicked voice.

“Cade, it’s Harlan,” Toni shouted.

I watched helplessly as Harlan’s entire car was slammed into the wall by the number thirty-two. She was running well, in the fourth position, but I also knew her head just wasn’t in it after the altercation with Conall yesterday. She insisted that she was fine, but you could see her eyes glaze as she drifted off to another place all night after qualifying. I tried to justify her decision to cut Conall off. I tried to reason with and distract her every way I could think of, but nothing seemed to work. She wouldn’t tell me what was going on in her head, but I was sure it had something to do with Conall refusing to acknowledge Dillon, twice.

I stood horrified as another car slammed, out of control, into Harlan’s, causing her rear tires to leave the ground. Her car sailed through the air before flipping and landing back down on its roof. It was like a scene from an action movie, it didn’t look real.

Time seemed to move in slow motion as Harlan’s car sparked, the metal grinding against the cement. The car slid down the embankment, on his roof, spinning like a ten-thousand-pound top when it was hit one last time by the thirty-two as it slid back down toward the infield.

My heart stopped, I couldn’t breathe as we waited to see if she was moving. She couldn’t put her window net down, since her car was on its roof. It was impossible to see from where I stood if she was moving, I couldn’t hear speculation from the announcers’ booth. I couldn’t hear what was going on in the sixty-five pits; there was nothing but silence.

The rest of the field was completely stopped, under a red flag. No one moved. Nothing happened in the pits. It was like the entire world stopped to see if she and the other drivers involved were okay.

“Ky, any word from Lou?” I called out.

“Nothin’, Cade. He’s not responding, he’s probably tryin’ to keep her calm.”

Waiting was horrific. Was she talking to Lou? Was she so severely injured that she couldn’t talk. Every scenario flashed through my brain. I stared, helplessly, at the jumbotron, as rescue crews tried to get to her. The roof was caved in, and there was little they could do to get her out. Gently as possible, the rescue crews turned the car back onto its wheels, as others started cutting the roof from the car.

“Cade, she’s talkin’. She’s okay, but she can’t get outta the car. They’re takin’ her to the hospital to have her checked out. Lou and Axel are goin’ with her.”

The hardest thing I’ve ever done was to stand by and watch the jumbotron. Desperate to see a flash of coppery hair. I was helpless, as rescue workers extracted Harlan from her car on a backboard, and loaded her into an ambulance. I wanted to be out on that track to help. I wanted to follow the ambulance to the hospital, sit by her side, and hold her hand. I wanted to be able to assure us both that she was going to be just fine. But my job was here. I had to bide my time, stay in this pit, and make sure Julius finished before I could leave. I hated every moment. I needed to know if she was okay. My whole life, I never loved anyone as much as I loved Harlan, so the thought of her being in pain made me physically ill. My stomach churned as bile threatened to erupt from within.

Once the race was back under a green flag, I went on autopilot. The only way to get through the end of the race was to shut down my brain. I knew my job, so I just let my body take over. That was easier said than done. I couldn’t stop the constant replay of her accident in my memory.

As soon as the race ended, I went through the motions of getting Julius’s car loaded into the hauler. I wanted nothing more than to get into a car and go straight to the hospital, but I had responsibilities to deal with first. It seemed to take forever before the officials even came to inspect the car, so we could load up. It was like they didn’t care that our teammate was hurt or that the love of my life could need me.

Desperation filled me as I shoved tools in drawers and pushed thousand-pound tool chests up the ramp to the hauler by myself. Several times, one of my teammates tried to help, but I just glared indignantly and kept moving. I didn’t want anyone near me.

“Let’s go,” Julius’s deep voice bellowed from behind me.

I spun to find Julius, Toni, and Kyle standing there, all three still wore their fire suits. My brain wasn’t working properly at that moment, I had no idea what they wanted. “Let’s go, Cade,” he said again. “Lou and Axel are at the hospital. The team can finish things up here, we need to go see how Harlan’s doin’.”

Brain finally catching up, I nodded and followed them to a rented SUV sitting just outside the garage area. Before I climbed in though, I thought about Dillon. “Where’s Margie with Dil?” I asked, worried the little boy was traumatized by what he saw on television.

“Don’t worry, Margie has the boys in the motorhome playing. They were napping when the accident occurred. Margie knows we’re headed to the hospital and she’ll keep Dillon as long as she needs.”

Relaxing slightly, I got in the back of the SUV and Kyle tore out onto the highway, headed toward the hospital. We were all quiet, and that quiet was unnerving. I wondered if there was something that they knew about her condition that they weren’t telling me. All these months, all the back and forth between Harlan and me, seemed like nothing but a waste of time.

I loved this woman, and yes, I had told her as much, but I don’t think even I realized just how much. My whole body ached, as tension built through every muscle and ligament, and settled deep in my bones. My heart hurt, my head ached, and I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to find a way to alleviate the pain.

I closed my eyes and tried to stop the throbbing in my head, but all it did was allow me to see Harlan and Dillon on the swings, flying high in the air as I pushed them. I saw Dillon snuggled up with his mother inside the tent, the two of them resting happily, sound asleep. I saw a thousand different images of Harlan and Dillon doing everyday activities, with love and happiness. They were mine. My family. My future. My world. I thought I was in love once. Now having experienced the real thing, I knew that wasn’t love. That was me settling for what was in front of me. With Harlan, there would never be settling, because she was everything I could ever want in a woman, and more.

We arrived at the hospital, and before Kyle had even stopped the car, I was out and running inside. I had to find out what was happening. I had to know that she was okay. Maybe this was just a routine check since she couldn’t get out of the car on her own.

I ran into the sliding doors to find Lou and Axel standing there, murmuring as Harlan’s pit crew sat around in the Emergency Room waiting area, a sea of red and silver fire suits, and worried faces. Axel caught my frantic scanning of the room and came over to me, Lou in tow.

“She’s all right, Cade. They just sent her up for a CT scan to make sure there are no problems inside her head. She may have a concussion. She’s been awake off and on, talking and even joking, but they were plannin’ on givin’ her something to rest. The car did what it was supposed to do. It protected her.”

I let out a heavy sigh. A concussion could be bad, it could sideline her for weeks if it was bad enough, but at least she was okay. I sat down in the nearest chair and felt my body practically collapse as I folded in on myself.

Julius and Kyle stood and talked to Lou and Axel, and Toni came to sit with me. She didn’t say anything for a long time, she just wrapped an arm around my shoulders and sat with me. After a long few minutes she spoke.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

It took a second, but her words sunk into my muddled brain. What could she possibly be sorry for? I didn’t understand her words. I wondered if I heard her correctly. My brows came together in questioning.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t more supportive. I’m sorry I told you to back off and not pursue anything with her because of Dillon. I was so wrong. I can see that now.” I had been annoyed with her after that conversation. Even though she seemed to come around a little after seeing me with Dillon, she still didn’t seem very supportive. I knew Toni only wanted to protect both Harlan and me, but she now seemed to realize that Harlan didn’t need protecting from me, nor I from her.

“It’s fine,” I whispered, barely wanting to speak.

“No, it’s not,” she insisted. “I see it now. I see how much you love her and Dillon. I saw it the moment you stopped and asked where he was and if he was okay. You were more worried about making sure he wasn’t in a state of panic than calming yourself. I saw it in your eyes, if Ky would have said he was upset, you would’ve gone to him. That’s what a real dad does. They worry more about their kids and families than themselves.”

I nodded slightly, not really knowing what to say. In my head, I was Dillon’s dad, blood or no. Then I whispered, “I love that kid and his mother more than I ever thought possible. I never knew love was like this.”

“It’s scary, isn’t it?” she said, looking at Julius.

“Yeah, it is.”