Harlan

 

My head hurt, and I heard people talking around me, but no one seemed to be speaking to me. I had no idea what was going on, all I knew was I couldn’t seem to open my eyes or respond to the voices.

“Why isn’t she awake?” Cade’s panicked voice rang out above all others. “It’s been hours.”

“We gave her medication to calm her during her scans. She needs to sleep so her brain and body can start to heal.”

“Is she in a coma?” That was Toni’s voice, she also sounded somewhat panicked. “When Julius was in his accident, he was in a coma forever.”

“No, she’s not in a coma. She’s just sleeping, she will wake up as soon as the medication wears off. She needs the rest, that’s all. She’s going to be in a lot of pain, so we will keep giving her the pain medication and it will help her to rest and heal.”

“When will she be able to go home?” This time Lou asked the question.

“We’re going to keep her for a couple days and monitor her. I understand she has a child, is there someone looking after him?”

“I’m going to pick him up after I see that she’s okay,” Cade again.

Where was Dillon? My muddled brain remembered he was with Margie, but how long ago was that? And why would Cade pick him up? I tried to focus and understand what was happening, but things just weren’t adding up. What happened that I was in the hospital? How did I get hurt? What wasn’t I remembering?

“How long before she’ll be able to drive again?” Axel this time.

“That depends on her. We need to see how fast she heals and how her brain responds. Concussions can be tricky,” the voice said. “But there’s no way to tell until we run more tests.”

A soft moan escaped my lips, and I tried desperately to open my eyes. I had my own questions to ask, and I needed to be able to find out what was going on. I couldn’t be in the hospital for days. I needed to get home to my son.

“Harlan?” Cade said, his voice suddenly right near me. I squeezed my eyes together, and slowly tried to force them open. It was like a bad hangover, and all I wanted to do was sleep.

“What’s going on?” I whispered, my throat dry and scratchy.

“You’re in a hospital in Bristol.”

“Why? What happened?” I looked up at Cade and saw the horror in his eyes as he turned from me and looked across the room.

“She doesn’t remember what happened?” he asked horrified.

“She was awake and talking the entire time they were getting her from the car,” Lou said. “She knew exactly what happened then.”

Another man I didn’t know came up to the side of the bed. He was an older man with graying hair and a white lab coat covering his scrubs. “Hi Harlan. How are you feeling?”

“I’m thirsty. What happened?” Everything hurt. My body ached, and my head felt muddled, like it was swimming in tar. Everything I did seemed to be in slow motion, especially my thoughts and words.

“I’ll get you some water and we’ll talk some more.” He turned and told someone to get water, then he looked at Cade and everyone else in the room. “It’s probably just the medication that’s making her forget the past couple hours. As I explained before, her brain needs to heal. Concussions affect everyone differently.”

The side of the bed sank. I slowly moved my eyes over to see Cade sitting on the side of my bed, his fingers smoothing the hair from the side of my face. “Honey, you were in an accident earlier this evening. It’s only been a few hours.”

“The race?” I asked, worried and confused.

Cade nodded. “I’m not gonna go into everything right now, but there were only about twenty laps to go. One of the other drivers had an equipment malfunction in his car and started a chain reaction, resulting in a wreck. But you’re gonna be just fine.”

“I can’t stay here,” I said, starting to sit up. “I need to get Dillon.” As soon as I moved, my head pounded harder, and the room swayed. My head spun like I would pass out.

Cade placed his hand on my shoulder to stop me. He was so gentle, and when I considered his eyes, I knew I had nothing to worry about. “Margie has him,” Cade said. “He’s fine.” I nodded, because what else could I do? I was stuck in this hospital bed. “Also, your grandfather should be here soon. I talked to him a couple of hours ago.”

My eyes grew heavy. I tried desperately to keep them open, gazing around the room at everyone who had come. Lou, Kyle, Toni, Julius, and of course Cade, all had matching looks of concern in their eyes. He smiled warmly down at me. “Sleep sweetheart. Everything will be fine.”

***

What could have been minutes or hours later, I opened my eyes to see the room had cleared out. My grandfather sat on my bedside, holding my hand.

“There’s my girl,” he said. He sounded incredibly exhausted, like he hadn’t slept in days. “I’ve been praying you’d wake up soon.”

Yawning slightly, I looked at him, a bit confused. “How long was I asleep?”

“About twenty hours. It’s five o’clock, Monday evenin’.”

Panic seized me. “Where’s Dillon?”

“He’s just fine. Worried about his momma, but he’s fine. He’s havin’ a blast with Cade. Honey, you’ve found yourself a pretty great family here.”

My heart leapt. “Cade has him? Where?”

“Cade rented a hotel room here in Bristol. You remember you’re still in Bristol, right?”

I nodded, but realized I didn’t remember still being in Bristol. He continued. “He rented a room here, everyone else headed back to Mooresville this mornin’. Well except Lou.”

“Where’s Lou?”

“Probably still in the waitin’ room. He refused to leave.” He reached down into his pocket and pulled out his phone. “I told Lou and Cade I’d text them when you woke. Cade wanted to know if he should bring Dil to see you or if you thought it would be too traumatic.”

“What did he tell Dillon about where I am?”

“He didn’t tell him much. Just that you got a boo-boo and that I had to take you to the hospital. Dil’s a smart little boy, but he was okay because Cade told him that I was takin’ care of you. He was excited about his sleep-over with Cade in the hotel room.”

The door flew open, and Lou marched in looking haggard. He still wore his fire suit from the race, his hair was pointed in a thousand different directions, and he had huge purple bags under his eyes. I felt bad that he had stayed in this hospital all night. “How are ya feelin?” 

“I’m okay. Better than yesterday.” I scanned the two of them and asked, “When can I go home?”

“The doc says if all is well with your next scans, you’ll be able to go home tomorrow,” Lou explained.

“Yeah, but no drivin’,” grandpa included. “Not until you get the all clear from the doctors.”

I groaned and closed my eyes. “What does that mean?” I was asking Lou, but I didn’t want to look at him. I was too afraid of what I might see in his eyes, like maybe I lost the number sixty-five.

“We’ve already got a substitute driver to take your place this week and next. As soon as you get the all clear, the car’s yours,” Lou explained. “Don’t worry, Harlan. You ain’t gonna lose your car because of somethin’ that’s beyond your control.”

I relaxed just a bit, but I still worried about what was going to happen in the next days and weeks. There have been other drivers who got concussions that put them out of the driver’s seat for the rest of the season. What if I didn’t recover from this?

Lou placed his hand on mine. “It’ll be fine. I can see your mind working, but I promise, you’ll be fine and back in your car soon.” He took in a long, deep breath. “I’m gonna head out. I’ll see y’all in Mooresville. Be good and listen to the docs. They know what they’re talkin’ about,” Lou scolded. He knew me well enough to know I was ready to bolt out of this bed and get as far away from this hospital as I could. Lou leaned in, kissed my forehead, and walked out the door.

“Can you call Cade? I want to see Dillon.”

***

The next few days were terrible. I was used to running around a garage, chasing a four-year-old, and trying to keep everything running as smoothly as possible. Being forced to sit in a hospital bed with nothing to do, was utterly boring.

When it was finally time to go back to Mooresville, I couldn’t have been happier. I still had little to no memory from the weekend, but Cade and Lou had brought me up to speed about everything that happened that day. Cade described what finally made Conall leave and why he wasn’t going to pursue anything regarding Dillon. If Dillon wanted to meet him when he was older, I would help him to do that, but until that day, it wasn’t happening. Besides, there was only one man I wanted to play the part of Dillon’s daddy, and that was Cade.

Cade, grandpa, and Dillon were all there when they wheeled me out the main doors in my wheelchair, so that I could go home.

“Why is momma in a wheelchair?” Dillon asked, looking at Cade.

“She has a boo-boo, remember?”

“Can’t she walk anymore?” Dillon looked terrified at the prospect.

“Momma can walk just fine, it’s just somethin’ they do in the hospital,” Grandpa explained.

That seemed to be a good enough answer for Dillon, because he didn’t ask any more questions. He just hung on to Cade’s strong arms as Cade held him for a moment longer. When Cade set him down, Dillon ran to me with a big grin on his face.

His hug was fierce, for a four-year-old. He held on tight around my neck and refused to let go for several moments.

“I missed you too, baby,” I said through my tears. When Cade brought him to visit, I had only been able to stay awake for a brief time before succumbing to sleep.

A new problem came to me as my grandpa took Dillon from my lap and lifted him into Cade’s truck. My grandpa had to return to his business. Although he’d been trying to step back, things just weren’t working out the way he had anticipated. How could I take care of Dillon by myself when I was still having debilitating headaches and couldn’t always focus?

“I’m sorry I can’t go back with y’all, but I’ll be there to see y’all soon. My head mechanic is comin’ back from vacation, then I shouldn’t have any problems.”

“I understand, Grandpa. I’ll be fine.”

“She and Dil will be stayin’ at my place until she’s better,” Cade explained, shocking me.

I took in a breath, prepared to protest, but Cade shook his head. He held his finger gently over my lips. The gesture both annoyed and excited me. “Don’t argue. Jake and Mia already took some of yours and Dillon’s clothes over, and some of Dil’s toys. I have an extra bed for Dillon and Jake even got a tent for the bed and everything he could need to pretend to camp out inside.”

“A tent on my bed?” Dillon asked. He bounced in his seat. “Yay!” he shouted, more excited than I’d seen in a long time. He was a happy kid, but Cade had just made his day.

Just nodding, I saw no point to argue. The truth was, I wanted to stay with Cade. If I had my way, I’d never go back to the little house behind Bobby’s bar. I loved it, but from the first moment I walked into Cade’s house, it felt more like home than anywhere I’d lived since I was with my parents. The warm, dark woodwork, the neutral furniture with splashes of color throughout, relaxed me. It was a beautiful old farmhouse with lots of land. I had imagined a pool, a swing set for Dillon, and a huge garden to tend when I was home from the garage. It was my version of a perfect space. Not far from anything or anyone, but just far enough.

***

“You have to take me to the garage today,” I complained. “I can’t sit in the house anymore.”

Cade shook his head. His furrowed brow and hard line to his lips gave him the appearance that he was going to argue. But it was hard for me to sit still. I was used to constantly moving, so the boredom was making me nuts.

In the week and a half that I’d been at his house, I’d rearranged his entire kitchen and his closets. I washed all the drapes, pillows, and anything else I could make fit into the washing machine. I’d cleaned and shined pretty much every surface I could reach, and some I couldn’t. I’d rearranged his living room, dining room, his den, and all four bedrooms. And there were only so many times I could watch the same cartoon movies in one day with Dillon.

Dillon was practically begging to go back to daycare too. Cade had offered to take him yesterday, but I couldn’t be stuck in the house all day by myself with nothing to do. I had already planned on digging a garden next spring, how I would decorate for Halloween, Christmas, Easter, and every holiday in between, and how I could move all my stuff in without disrupting Cade too much. I knew it was presumptuous, but that’s what boredom did to me. My flights of fancy were becoming more and more common when I thought about a real life with Cade. I just hoped he’d want me for the long term.

Cade grumbled, not afraid to show his disagreement. “Fine. But no drivin’, no touchin’ anything that could be dangerous, and you must stay where it’s safe. Maybe you could sit with Margie or somethin’.”

Jumping up, I ran over to him, kissed and hugged him tightly. He was sitting, so when I hugged him, his face went into my braless chest. “Thank you,” I exclaimed, more excited than I should have been.

“Well, if I would have known I was gonna get that kind of thank you, I would’ve agreed to this yesterday.” His smirk made me giddy.

“Well, you remember that next time I want to do something,” I argued.

“You know, I’m just tryin’ to keep you safe, right? You ain’t completely healed. I just don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“I know,” I said. “I just want to get out of the house for a little while. If it’s too much, I promise I’ll lie down or ask to go home.”

His dimple deepened with his grin. “Deal.”