Cade

 

The next morning, I sat at the chef’s table in my brother’s restaurant and watched him move effortlessly around his colossal kitchen, preparing food as I told him about the idea of joining the pit crew. I wanted to know what he thought. If I did this, it would affect him. He’d have to check in on our gym more often. Our managers and trainers were great and kept the place running like clockwork, but he’d still have to check on them.

“This is really what you wanna do?” Jake asked as I waited patiently for him to plate my favorite food. He was preparing food for the breakfast rush while he talked to me. My twin brother and I were identical in almost every way growing up. Even now, the only real difference was he was about fifteen pounds lighter than me. He’d recently cut his long blonde hair and now we were even more identical than before.

“You know,” I said. “I think it is. The guys are great, and I haven’t been this excited about anythin’ in a long time.” It was true; I’d gone through the motions of running our gym and going to school. Neither of those things excited me. But when I started training the crew, something changed. I was more passionate about what I was doing, I was excited to get up and go to the garage.

“If that’s what you wanna do, then do it,” Jake said simply as he placed fluffy buttermilk biscuits on two plates and then he poured a hearty sausage gravy over the top. He walked across the kitchen to where I sat and placed the delicious smelling food in front of me. His smile was genuine, and his blue eyes sparkled with pride. “If you found somethin’ you love to do, then do it. We’ll figure everything out. The managers got that place runnin’ better than we ever did.”

Since he opened his restaurant and married his long-time love, Mia, Jake was his old self. Gone was the cynical and cranky man he had become, he was finally the happy-go-lucky guy he’d been when we were growing up. It was great to see him content, doing what he loved – it was even better seeing him with the girl he’d loved since they were children.

I envied what he had with Mia. I’d never found that kind of love with anyone. I’d had girlfriends; hell, I’d dated so many girls over the years I’d lost count. The problem was, they rarely lasted more than a couple weeks before their true colors shone through. I’d had my share of insecure girls, egotistical girls, anxious and timid girls, girls who were over-confident and too assertive, and girls who were completely fake. Finally, the last straw was the girl who claimed to love me, claimed to want to marry me, then she cheated on me. She left me for another man. She had been cheating on me the entire time and she never really loved me anyway, she just wanted the ring. I didn’t trust many women these days.

“It is what I want to do, for now. Are you sure it won’t be too much with the restaurant? I can tell them no.”

“No, don’t do that. Cade, you need to do this. The restaurant is doin’ great. It requires most of my time, but between Mia and me, we can take care of the gym too. Summer ain’t far off, she’ll have more time to help while she’s on summer break from school.”

Perhaps this could all work out. Maybe I didn’t have to worry about our businesses falling apart.

“You think we could pull it off?” I asked just before taking a bite of my favorite meal. “Mmm … This is better than momma’s.” I stopped and flashed a crooked grin at my brother. “If you tell her I said that, I’ll kick your ass.”

“You’ll try.” A laugh burst out of him, his eyes sparkling with mirth. “And yeah, we can pull it off. No worries.”

We sat and ate our breakfast in peace as the kitchen staff plated food to be delivered to the patrons in the dining room.

“You really are happy, right?” I asked in between bites of deliciousness.

“More than I’ve ever been, brother.”

That gave me hope that maybe I could find my own happiness.

***

Everything settled with Jake and the gym, I boarded Turner Racing’s private jet later that afternoon, relaxed and ready to start this new adventure. Everyone else was already there, including Harlan. Bristol was only a three-hour drive from Mooresville, but according to Toni, Axel didn’t like his drivers to risk driving to most tracks. I guess it made sense, they were expected to push one-hundred fifty miles per hour around a half-mile oval track in just days. I imagine they needed to prepare for that feat.

“We wanted to make sure you’re onboard with this,” Kyle said as soon as the plane took off.

“Yeah, Jules and Ky have been worried that I bullied you into this or somethin’,” Toni said with a look of amused annoyance on her face. She knew damn well I wouldn’t be bullied into anything. She only reminded me of a dream I had, but had forgotten.

“Hell yeah, I’m onboard. Toni didn’t bully me, I’m happy to help.”

“Well, you’re doin’ more than help,” Kyle said. “You’re the lead for the pit crew. They were lookin’ to you for guidance as their coach, it’s gonna be a bit more intense as the front tire changer. You set the pace for everything.”

“Ky, I know,” I laughed out. “You tryin’ to psych me out and get me to fuck up?”

He laughed. “Damn man, hell no. I just wanna make sure you’re ready for this. I don’t want you to get there and wanna turn around and leave.” 

“No, I’m all in. As long as y’all are ready for me.”

“We have your fire-suit ready, it’s stored with everyone else’s in the hauler. Helmet, shoes, and everything is there and ready to go.” He turned to the gorgeous ginger sitting next to her son. Her long hair draped over her shoulders like a copper waterfall, covering her pert and perfect looking breasts. “Harlan, everything you’ll need is in your hauler also.”

“I also have the motorhome on its way to the track,” Axel added. “I made sure everything was ready and put some toys in there so Dillon will feel right at home. The carpets are new, and all the bedding is clean. My wife made sure to get it ready for y’all. When she found out we had another child in the garage, she went into grandma mode.”

Pale golden-brown eyes were wide, she seemed both surprised and thrilled. “That is incredible. Thank you so much. I don’t know how I can ever repay you for all you have done for me. All of you. The house, the job.” Her Irish accent seemed to grow stronger the more her emotion built. She sighed, “Everything is just perfect.”

“It’s our pleasure,” Toni said. “We’re a family. Welcome to our family.”

Harlan looked at her in disbelief. She smiled before turning her attention back to Dillon and her grandfather. The little boy was adorable, golden brown hair with big deep brown eyes. He looked so much like his mother, but I was sure his father must have been in there somewhere. Suddenly I found myself curious about the father, and slightly jealous.

Composure seemingly found, Harlan turned back to the group. Her gaze focused on me, she had a question in her eyes. “Is there anything else I should know about my pit stops?” God, I could listen to her speak for hours. That accent, her sweet voice, they were like drugs.

“You had it down by the end of practice yesterday,” I told her. “Just remember to listen to Lou and watch Ken, you’ll be fine.”

“Harlan, it’s about trustin’ your team. That trust will come over time, but for now follow Lou’s lead. He’s worked with rookies in the past, he’ll guide you,” Axel explained.

Lou interjected, “I was there all day listening to the way Cade guided you through.” He glanced at Harlan and me. “I’ll guide you the way he did. You’ll be fine.”

“See,” Julius said. “You’ll be just fine, Harlan. Right now, you need to rest your brain a little before you psyche yourself out.” Head back and eyes closed, Julius sighed. “I’m gonna take a nap, you should too.” He looked at Toni. “Wake me when we get there.” He placed earbuds in his ears, grabbed Toni’s left hand, and fiddled with the engagement ring on her finger while he fell asleep.

“It’s almost like he doesn’t believe the ring is on my finger,” Toni said, watching Julius move the ring around.

“He’s a sentimental guy,” Kyle said.

“He loves you,” I said.

“I can’t wait to marry him,” Toni said.

I was so happy Toni finally found someone. She lived through a traumatic experience when she was a teenager. Jake and I worried she’d never been able to get beyond her nightmare, but she did. She found a career she loved and a man who adored her. It was awesome to see her so happy.

“How are you feeling?” I asked, then looked at Dillon. “Do you need me to sit with Dil, so you can rest?” Dillon seemed to be fighting sleep also. His eyes closed for several moments before opening them, looking around, and doing it all again.

“I’m extremely excited about this race,” Harlan said. “Thank you all for helping to make this happen. I appreciate you all.” She paused for a moment and looked at Dillon. “Thanks, Cade, but he will fall asleep soon. I suppose I should take a nap like Julius said.” She turned her head toward her son.

After a few minutes of silence, my gaze drifted from the world outside the aircraft and toward Harlan once more. She was beautiful, but she was so much more than that. She was talented, loving, and an amazing mother. From what little I’d seen, she was utterly devoted to the little boy who had his mother’s smile and owned her heart. I wondered where the boy’s father was.

They were a perfect little family, and I found myself wanting to find that for myself. Insane ideas of Harlan, Dillon, and me jumped into my brain for a moment before I averted my eyes away from them. Then I found Harlan’s grandfather. His knowledgeable and observant eyes seemed to be assessing me. He didn’t speak, he only turned his gaze to his granddaughter then back to me. He’d caught me looking at them; I could only imagine what he saw or thought he saw. 

Turning away, I caught sight of Toni, wondering if a woman would ever look at me the way Toni looked at Julius. Wondering if I would ever find a family of my own.

We sat in silence for the rest of the flight, relaxing before the hectic weekend started. Harlan had closed her eyes and seemed to be napping alongside her little boy. There would be practices and qualifying, and then there would be the race. Rest would be fleeting for us all over the next few days.

***

Reality, along with anxiety, hit me the moment I walked into the garages on pit road. I’d been to plenty of tracks over the years, but nothing compared to being in the garage area and looking around the grandstands from the pit. It was like nothing I’d ever seen.

“Pretty amazin’, ain’t it?” Kyle asked. “I’ll never forget the first time I stood in the pits and looked at the track from this perspective. Of course, I was a kid.” He laughed. Being the son of a famous crew chief, Kyle grew up in the pits.

“Yeah, this truly is awesome.” The stands surrounded the entirety of the track. Food stands, and blackened neon signs dotted the oval. In just a few days every seat would be jam-packed with screaming and cheering fans, the track and the valley beyond would fill with the rumble of forty screaming race cars as they speed around the half-mile track. It was no wonder they called Bristol, Thunder Valley.

The track was nothing less than extraordinary. The thirty-degree banks around the corners were so steep it was unmanageable how cars could take those banks without rolling back down. But the speeds were impossibly fast, and the track itself so short, they needed those steep banks to get around.

I followed Kyle back into the garage where the hauler was parked, waiting for the main car to be unloaded.

“I’ve never seen a track like this before,” a soft voice said from behind us. I hadn’t noticed Harlan before I heard her. It was an amazing voice, breathy and feminine with a sweet accent; sexy as hell. “This is intimidating.”

“You’ll be fine,” Lou encouraged. “Just drive like you did in Charlotte, you’ll be great.”

God, she was gorgeous. The more I was around her, the more I liked what I saw. She had a sweet and innocent look, but her curves brought me nothing but inappropriate thoughts. What I wouldn’t do to feel her pressed against me; what I wouldn’t do to pleasure that tight little body.

“Y’all ready to unload the cars?” Kyle asked from next to me, jarring me from my inappropriate thoughts.

“The sixty-five team is already gettin’ things goin’,” Lou said.

“What should I be doin’ to help?” Harlan asked.

“The drivers usually help once the car is outta the hauler,” Toni said. “We don’t need y’all hurtin’ yourselves movin’ stuff around.”

“Well, ain’t that some shit,” Julius complained. “Like we’re helpless.” He scowled at Toni while turning toward Harlan for some backup.

“I’m sure we could help somehow. I used to assist with everything throughout the garages at the amateur track I worked in Europe. I could do that here too.”

“No,” Lou interjected. “We appreciate it, Harlan. But I’d rather y’all go to the motorhome court and settle in. I’m sure Dillon could use some time with his momma. And you both could use a nap, big day tomorrow.”

“Let’s go, Harlan,” Julius said. “We’re unnecessary until we need to drive. We have practice tomorrow and qualifying Saturday, we’ll be in the garage enough.”

Harlan nodded. “Okay.”

Without another word, she turned and walked toward the doors. My eyes followed every sway of her hips as she left. I was starting to become concerned with my level of interest in this woman. Something about her was different. Something I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to pinpoint. Beautiful, talented, kind, and loving, was just the beginning of what attracted me to her. I just wished I could get her out of my mind. As much as I wanted her, I knew it was a bad idea. She was a mother, no way was she just looking for a good time, and I wasn’t so sure I was interested in a readymade family.

“You like her, don’t you?” Toni asked. Immediately I averted my eyes. I hadn’t realized she was there, watching me. “You’re interested.” This time it was more of a statement than a question.

“She’s a teammate, that’s all. I helped out with her pit crew.”

“And that has what to do with right this moment?” she asked, tilting her head and staring at me. “I know that look, Cade. You ain’t foolin’ anyone. I can understand why you’d be interested; she’s definitely your type, but …”

“What the hell does that mean?” Cutting her off before she finished her statement, I stared at her, waiting.

“It just means she’s a redhead, your favorite. It means she’s gorgeous, and built, and sweet, but she has a kid, Cade.”

“So?” I questioned. What the hell did Dillon have to do with anything?

“There’s usually all kinds of bullshit drama that goes with single mothers. Baby-daddy issues and shit like that. Plus, you like to be the center of attention when you’re with a woman. Dillon will always come first.”

“That ain’t true, Toni. Just because I used that justification to break up with a few women don’t mean I need a woman to put me first. I just needed an excuse to ditch those chicks. They were gettin’ too attached.”

“Exactly my point. What happens when Harlan gets too attached? Or worse, what happens when Dillon gets too attached? There’s a little kid involved here, Cade. You can’t just cut and run on that little boy if you get bored. That ain’t right.”

“Who said that would happen?” I asked, but I knew what she was getting at. My track record with women was pathetic at best. After a few months, I always cut and run. I wouldn’t be able to do that with Harlan, she’d still be around in the garage, in Mooresville, everywhere. And what if Dillon got attached, he wouldn’t understand. No, maybe she was right, maybe I just needed to stay the hell away.

“It might not,” Toni sighed. “Just remember, she’s probably here for the long haul. I would wait and see if what you’re feeling is real or just infatuation. No sense in makin’ things complicated if you don’t have to.”

With that, Toni walked up the ramp into the hauler, leaving my head spinning.

***

“Drivers! Start! Your! Engines!” The announcer declared through the shouts of tens of thousands of fans surrounding every inch of the half-mile track.

My heart raced with the sound of forty mammoth V-8 engines roaring to life at the same time. The baritone rumble of monster eight-hundred horsepower machines infiltrated the air and rattled through my bones. The sight of forty multicolored race cars pulling out onto the race track was one of the most impressive things I’d ever seen. I’d been in the stands before, I’d been in VIP lounges and watched from afar, but everything was so different in the pits.

With my fire-suit on and my helmet securely atop my head, I finally felt like I was exactly where I belonged. Gone was the search for what I wanted out of life, gone was my hunt for happiness; I’d found it. This was where I belonged.

“Pretty freakin’ cool, isn’t it?” Toni’s disembodied voice filled my helmet.

“This is nothin’ like I’ve ever experienced,” I said.

“Welcome to the pits,” Kyle said, adding to everyone. “Good luck today, fellas. Let’s show everyone what the best pit crew in NASCAR can do.”

 The fragrance of gasoline and burnt rubber filled my nostrils, with each passing lap. I would never have thought those smells would appeal to me, but the aroma was satisfying rather than offensive.

When Julius came down pit road for his first green flag stop, I instantly went on autopilot. I knew what needed to be done, and I knew I didn’t need to overthink it when my time came. I just needed to do the job I’ve done since I was fourteen years old.

The instant the black and blue number fifty-five Chevy SS slid into the pit stall, I went into overdrive. Over the three-foot-high wall without even thinking, I ran around to the front right side of the car and used the air gun to spin the lug nuts from the rim. Seconds later, new tire on, I ran around to the left side and did the same.

With the precision of a well-oiled machine, the crew changed four tires, made an adjustment to the car, and filled it with fuel like a choreographed dance. Each step deliberate and effective.

“Twelve and one-tenth seconds, fellas. Impressive,” Kyle announced once Julius pulled back out onto pit road. “We gained two spots. Keep it up.”

High-fiving each other as we went back over the wall, we watched the race and prepared for the next time Julius would slide into the pit stall for another stop. Lap after lap, he ate up places on the track while we did our best to get him in and out of the pit stall as fast as we could.

And when the checkered flag flew, we celebrated Julius’ second win of the season.