Chapter Twelve
Noah
I SIT ON the bed, petting Vader and watching Lauren get dressed. She pulls on a blue dress. It’s simple, yet still looks amazing on her. Her hair is in a braid over her shoulder, and she spent no more than five minutes doing her makeup.
I’ve never been with a woman like her. Hell, I haven’t been with a woman in any sense other than horizontal (and vertical, or upside down…) in years. I dated Heather James for three months, and broke up with her the day after she told me she loved me. I didn’t love her. I wanted to. I tried. But my heart belonged to another. It’s belonged to another for years.
And the owner is standing in my bathroom, barefoot on the tile, brushing her teeth. After last night, things feel different. Different in a good way, that is. I didn’t fuck Lauren, I made love to her. And trust me, there is a difference.
I don’t let myself think too deep that often, but sometimes I wonder if I went for women the total opposite of Lauren to convince myself that’s what I want. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had plenty of fun drinking and fucking, but there’s always been a yearning in my heart for her, and it’s dark and cold and even I cannot fool myself into thinking it had been filled. I didn’t notice it most days, I’ve grown so accustomed to it.
But sitting here, looking at Lauren, the hole is closed up.
She turns the water off and turns around. I look down at my phone, pretending I wasn’t watching her.
“Look,” she says, putting her hands on her stomach. “I definitely look pregnant now. Kind of. Maybe?”
I smile and put my hands over hers. “Knowing that this wasn’t there before, I say you do.”
“So you’re saying other people are just going to think I have a gut?”
“Pretty much.” I shake my head and laugh. “Either way, I still find you to be fucking hot.” I kiss her. “Want to take the dogs for a walk before we get lunch?” I ask, knowing Lauren worries the dogs get bored being in my apartment all day.
“That’d be really nice. It’s beautiful outside for this time of year.”
She grabs the leashes and I grab my camera. Lauren raises an eyebrow when she sees it in my hand.
“I have no pictures of you,” I tell her. We have no pictures of us together, actually.
“I’m not photogenic,” she says and clips Vader’s leash onto his collar. “You can edit the pictures, right? Make me look good?”
I hang the camera over my shoulder and turn to Lauren, brushing hair out of her face. “You are beautiful, Lauren, in person and on film. It would be a shame to make any edits or changes.”
“Whoa,” she whispers, breath leaving her. “That’s a good line.”
I chuckle. “I wasn’t trying to give you a line.”
She tips her head. “Well, you did, and it worked.”
“Worked enough for sex?” I ask hopefully.
“More than enough. But,” she adds when she sees me raise my eyebrows and smile. “The dogs … they’re waiting.”
“Fine, let’s go.”
“Good answer,” she says, taking my hand, and we head out the door. There’s a nature preserve across from the apartment complex, with several miles of trails. I keep a hold of Lauren’s hand, and we walk in silence down the boardwalk that surrounds the lake. It stretches for a quarter mile then breaks away to a dirt path that winds through the trees.
“This is pretty,” Lauren says. “I’ve never been here.”
“It is. Peaceful too.”
“You go for walks?”
“I run on the trails.”
“Oh, right,” she says dryly. “You and Colin are all into working out and all that lame shit.”
I chuckle. “You really hate working out that much?”
She shrugs. “No. I mean, I like to stay in shape in case I happen to walk through a magical wardrobe that takes me to another land and go on adventures, but since the chance of that happening are pretty slim, I like my spare time spent on the couch. Preferably eating.”
“At least you’re honest. And a wardrobe?”
She turns, eyes wide. “You’ve never heard of Narnia?”
“That sounds familiar, but I don’t know what it is.”
She shakes her head. “It’s a good thing I get to pick the next movie.”
“Oh God,” I say, amping up my horror. “Another Disney movie?”
“What’s wrong with Disney?”
“It’s lame.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Is too,” I tease. “But really, why do you still like that stuff?”
She shrugs. “I like seeing good triumph over evil and seeing love always win. Real life doesn’t always give our happily ever afters.”
I just nod, hoping I can give Lauren the happy ending she deserves. We’re two months into this dating thing, and I think I’m doing all right so far.
“So,” I start. “Have you thought of names?”
“I have. Ethan, Peter, Jackson, and Aiden are my top boys names.”
“Nope to Peter. He’d face a lifetime of dick jokes. Ethan, eh, not really a fan. Same with Aiden. Jackson is a yes, but that’s because I like Sons of Anarchy.”
“Jackson it is then.”
“What about girl names?”
“I think it’s a boy,” she says.
I shake my head. “Nope. It’s a girl.”
“I hope it’s a girl,” she says and takes my hand again. “Is that horrible to admit?”
I slow and tip my head down to look into her eyes. “No, because I want a girl too.”
“You do?”
“I want her to be like you.”
Lauren’s green eyes get a bit misty. Then she blinks and looks away. “Well, I’m not perfect. And hopefully this kid doesn’t inherit my asthma. Or shellfish allergies. Or fear of heights and public speaking.”
“You can’t pass that stuff down, right?”
“Nah. Well, the allergies and asthma yeah, of course. But not the fears.”
“If it’s a girl, I hope she looks like you. But has my height, because you’re kind of short.” We both laugh and I lean over to kiss her. “But if it’s a girl?”
“Ella. I’ve had my heart set on that forever.”
“Ella Wilson … I can work with that.”
“You want our kid to have your last name?”
Her question is like a sucker punch. A reminder that we’re not actually together. A reminder that she doesn’t love me. Not yet, at least.
“Noah!” someone calls.
I look up and see Melody slowing from a jog to a walk. She’s wearing a bright-pink sports bra, with a pushup underneath. Not that she needs it with those big, fake tits. Her spandex shorts just barely cover her ass, and she’s got a full face of makeup on. I turn to Lauren, eyes going to her belly. If I do end up with a daughter, I don’t want her to alter her body for the sake of sex appeal.
“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Melody says, completely ignoring Lauren.
“I’ve been busy.” I tighten my grip on Lauren’s hand.
Melody blinks, looking at Lauren like she just appeared. “Oh, uh, hi. Who are you?”
“I’m Lauren. Nice to meet you.”
“This is Melody,” I say to Lauren. “She lives across from me.”
Melody gives a tight smile. “How do you two know each other?”
The world “girlfriend” burns on the tip of my tongue. I want so bad to say it, but don’t, afraid Lauren doesn’t want to be it.
“We met in high school,” Lauren says. “He’s my brother’s best friend.”
I smirk. When she says it like that, it has a forbidden sexiness to it that turns me on. I slip my arm around Lauren.
“You got dogs?” Melody asks, eyeing Vader nervously. To be fair, the large dog stands protectively in front of Lauren, giving Melody a judgmental stare. “I saw you come in with them last night.”
“They’re not mine,” I tell her. “We didn’t want to leave them at Lauren’s and have to go back in the morning.” I reach down and pat Sasha’s head. I’ve always liked dogs, and now I’m starting to really like these guys, almost as if they were mine.
“Oh, so you two are…”
“Dating?” I supply. “Yeah, we are.”
“I thought you didn’t date,” Melody blurts.
I shrug. “I didn’t, but I do now.” I turn just in time to see Lauren smile.
Melody’s face falls. “Oh, uh, that’s nice.” She inhales and regains her composure. “Well, good luck with him,” she tells Lauren. “Enjoy it while it lasts. I hope you know what you’re getting into.”
“I’m well aware,” Lauren retorts, not missing a beat. “Nice to meet you.” Melody leaves in a huff, jogging away. Lauren faces me. “A bit of a heartbreaker, are you?”
“I can’t help it.”
“Really. So what’s the story with her?”
Tell Lauren about my booty calls? Nope, that’s not uncomfortable at all. “We hooked up.”
“No shit.”
I look down at Lauren, the shock apparent on my face.
“Noah, come on. I’ve known you for years. I know how you are—were—with the ladies.”
“Oh, right. Melody and I had a no-strings arrangement and she got attached. That’s all.”
“You really think the whole no-strings thing ever works?”
“If done right.”
She rolls her eyes. “Maybe. I’ve never tried.”
I squeeze her hand. “I never would have guessed,” I tease. We step off the boardwalk and start hiking through the woods. Vader stops and sniffs at everything, and Sasha pulls on her leash. I don’t know which is more annoying.
“I’m going over to Colin’s tonight for video games,” I tell her.
“Is he still acting weird?”
“He glares a lot, but hasn’t said anything. Other than that, things are normal. He’s had a while to accept it by now.”
I’ve lived a carefree life, not putting expectations on anyone or anything, but the few close friendships I’ve hung onto over the years mean something to me.
“I think he’s more excited than he lets on. You two have had that bromance going on for over a decade, having you be part of the family has to make him happy.” Lauren stops and makes Sasha sit, not walking again until the dog calms down. “He feels like he needs to play the protective older brother card, but we both know he’s really a big ol’ softy. But…”
“What?”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
I look behind me, locking eyes with her. “Of course.”
“You might not want to know, because then you have to keep it from Colin, because he doesn’t know I know, and if he knows I know and now you know, it could be bad.”
“Huh?”
She presses her lips together and sighs. “Jenny told me they’ve been trying for a baby and not having luck.”
“Oh, I knew that.”
“Really? I thought I had top-secret information.”
“Sorry to burst your bubble. I’ve known for a while. But why is that a big deal?”
“Because I’m pregnant and Jenny isn’t and I think that hurts her.”
“I guess I can see that, but it’s not like we did this on purpose to spite her. It just happened.”
Lauren nods, and I know she’s not convinced. Actually, I can tell she feels guilty. She’s too fucking nice.
Too nice. Too pretty. Too good for me.