Chapter Eight
Noah
I HAVE GOT to clean up my act.
No more drinking. No more getting arrested. And no more one-night stands. Fuck. What am I going to do with my time? And I can drink … just not in excess like I had been. I can do this. For her. For them.
Lauren is having a baby. My baby. I’m going to be a dad.
I’m also going to throw up.
Is this really happening? The ultrasound pictures don’t lie, and neither does Lauren. We are having a baby.
Together.
It would be a damn lie if I said there’s a part of me that isn’t happy about this. Because there is. Knocking Lauren Winters up is the last thing I wanted to do, but knocking her up means I get a chance to make her fall in love with me.
A chance to make her mine.
It’s the chance I never got so many years ago. And now that it’s right in front of me, I’m fucking terrified. Add in the baby and it’s just about enough to make me lose it completely.
I lean back in my leather chair at my desk, unable to concentrate on doing any sort of work. I run my hands over my face and log onto the internet to do some research about babies and pregnancy. Looking up info does nothing to soothe my nerves, but only reminds me of how little I know, and makes me feel guilty for everything Lauren is going through.
I’ve never held a baby. Never changed a diaper or given a bottle. The leather chair crunches under me as I lean back, running my hands over my beard. We’ll figure this out. And maybe, by some extreme miracle, I can pull off this Daddy thing.
The thing is, I want to be a good dad. I want to be there for Lauren and for the baby. But, how? The only father figure I had in my life was a pathetic excuse for a man. Can I step up to the plate and not repeat his errors?
I left Lauren’s house with nothing set between us. We’re going slow, going to give being together a try. She needs it. She needs time to fall for me.
And she will. I won’t give up until her heart is mine.
But for now, we’re taking things slow, one day at a time. We’re not a couple, not even dating. Can I even call her my friend? We’ve never hung out one on one, and my interactions with her before were less than genuine since I was hiding how I felt.
I better not fuck this up.
My heart is beating fast, making me anxious. I stand and grab the keys to my motorcycle, intending to speed off to The Roadhouse and toss a few back to calm my nerves.
“Fuck,” I say to myself when I put my hand on the door to leave. I don’t want to be that guy who runs away to a bar to get drunk when shit hits the fan.
I don’t want to be my father.
And I won’t.
The only rule we have set is no sex. Obviously, that was Lauren’s idea. She said sex got us into this situation and doesn’t want to complicate things further, not when she’s trying to see where things could go. Other than that, there’s nothing set up, but I’ve already decided to treat her like my one and only. Because she is. And it won’t be hard, since I haven’t hooked up with anyone since I slept with her. Though I can’t remember the details, I haven’t been able to get her out of my head. She’s been there for years, after all.
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I grab it, smiling as soon as I see Lauren’s name.
“Hey, baby,” I answer.
“Don’t call me that,” she retorts.
“Fine, fine. You’re calling because you miss me and changed the no-sex rule, right?”
“Hardly.” She lets out a breath. “My mom called.”
Oh fuck. “Did you tell her?”
“Not yet, but she invited me over for dinner tomorrow. We have family dinners on Sundays … Not sure if you remember.”
“I do.” Dinner at the Winters’ was the only time I got to sit around with others as I ate. Mom couldn’t be bothered to eat a meal with me.
“I thought we could go together and tell everyone.”
Tell my best friend I not only slept with his little sister, who’s been off limits since we met, but knocked her up. My best friend, who’s bailed me out of jail more times than I care to remember, who knows me and my wicked ways … who’s going to hate my fucking guts after we tell him. Yeah, sounds like a party.
“Noah?”
I blink. “Yeah. Tomorrow. Better to get it over with, right?”
*
Sunday dinners at the Winters’ house was always a safe haven. Colin and I would play video games during the day, eat dinner, then resume whatever game we were currently addicted to. I’d stay until Mrs. Winters kicked me out, or my probation officer came to get me, because that was the case more than once during my teen years.
But pulling into the driveway that leads to the two-story brick house is making me sweat like a whore in church. I don’t want to fucking do this. Lauren’s face is white. She doesn’t want to either. I wonder if she’d be okay with turning around and not coming back until our kid was in college. I cut the engine, nerves at an all-time high, and reach over Lauren to grab a flask from the glove box.
“Seriously?” she asks when I unscrews the lid and takes a drink.
“Hey, I need this. You know everyone in there is going to hate me.”
“You better take another shot,” she grumbles. “Then pour it out, because you can’t have open containers in your car. The last thing I need is a baby daddy in prison.”
“I won’t go to jail over this,” I say and roll my eyes.
“You might. Don’t you have a record?”
“Hey now,” I start. I haven’t for years, and it hurts—just a bit—that she only remembers me as the hell raiser I was in our youth. “Nothing recent.”
Lauren closes her eyes and puts her hand on her chest, no doubt feeling her heart race. Mine is going a million miles an hour. I take her hand, gently threading my fingers through hers.
“You can do this. We can, I mean.”
She opens her eyes and looks right into mine, causing my heart to swell in my chest with longer. I want her to look at me like that every day for the rest of our lives.
“Thank you, Noah. For doing this with me.”
Again, her words hurt. What do I need to do to prove to her this matters to me? “It’s my kid too. From now on, it’s not just you and just me, it’s us.”
She squeezes my hand and leans in, lips parting. I can’t help it. There is something about Lauren that makes me lose control.
I kiss her.
And she lets me.
Soft lips crash against mine, tasting like strawberry lipgloss. I twist in my seat and cup her face in my hands. I. Cannot. Stop. Kissing. Her.
“Sorry,” I pant when I stop for air, pressing my forehead against hers.
“Don’t be,” she says softly and doesn’t move away. Gently, she places her hands over mine and brings my face to hers, kissing me again. “We should go in.” She makes no attempt to leave. “Before someone comes out and sees us.”
I nod and run my hands through her hair, afraid if I let go I’ll never get to kiss her again. We kiss again. I’m not physically able to stop.
“Noah,” she moans. “We.” Kiss. “Need.” Kiss. “To stop.” More kissing. Finally she turns her head, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “Fuck,” she whispers.
“You’re rethinking the no-sex rule, aren’t you?” I give her a grin.
“Actually, yes.” She’s grinning right back. “But no. Come on, let’s get this over with.”
Lauren’s family is already seated in the dining room when we walk in the house. I can hear them talking and smell dinner, which is no doubt on the table. I’m a bit surprised no one has called Lauren asking where she is; it’s unlike her to be late for anything. We purposely arrived after the others. Me walking in hand in hand with Lauren is going to be a shock on its own.
Lauren takes a deep breath and pulls the ultrasound pictures from her purse. She keeps a tight hold on my hand as we walk through the house.
“Finally,” Mrs. Winters says when she sees Lauren. The table is already set. Chicken, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, and roasted vegetables are waiting for us, all served family-style. “I was about to ca—” She cuts off, eyes darting to me.
“Hey!” Colin says, greeting me like usual. “What are you…” He trails off, looking at his sister’s hand in mine. “What are you two doing? Trying to be funny, right?” A line forms between his eyes as he looks back and forth from Lauren to me. I wince, feeling like I betrayed nearly ten years of friendship.
“I wish,” Lauren says softly, looking at her sister, Katie, who gives her an encouraging nod. Oh right, she already knows. Mr. Winters glares at me, and I’m glad looks can’t kill, while the others, Jenny, Lauren’s mom, and Wes, Katie’s fiancé, try to figure out what the hell is going on.
Colin stands up so fast his chair almost tips over. “No. No way, man. You and … no.”
Mrs. Winters gasps. “Lauren!”
I look down at the table. I’m fucking dying; I can only imagine how Lauren feels.
“The surprises don’t end there,” Lauren says and gives my hand a tug. We take our spots at the table. Colin sits back down, a bit too shocked to be pissed at me just yet. Lauren is shaking. I put my hand on her thigh and she puts her hand on mine, curling her fingers under my palm. She looks at her parents. “Mom, Dad … you’re going to be grandparents.”
Mrs. Winters flicks her eyes to Colin and Jenny, but when they mirror her confusion, she sucks in air and stares at Lauren. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m pregnant,” Lauren says. “Noah and I are having a baby.”