I woke up to someone shaking my shoulder gently. My mind was foggy as I tried to shake the remnants of my dream away. Mason was sitting on the bed, but I was having a hard time focusing on what he was saying.

"Em, he's up. Taylor called about five minutes ago and Stephen’s awake."

"He is? Oh thank God. I hoped he would wake up soon after he squeezed my hand earlier."

"He squeezed your hand?"

I yawned and stretched. "We were having a heart to heart and yeah. He only did it once, but I made Taylor come up to the hospital because the doctor said it was a good sign."

"He's got a long way to go, but he's awake and talking." He shook his head. "It's amazing that he made it out alive. Jax took me to see the car and I almost threw up when I saw it. It's unbelievable, but he has a second chance. I for one am going to kick his ass if he doesn't take advantage of it."

Mason's words hung heavy in the air. His strong arms wrapped around me and I leaned into him for a second. Tears streamed down my face as I pulled back. Very gently his fingers trailed over my cheek and wiped away the wetness. We stared at each other for long seconds before Mason finally leaned in to kiss me. His soft lips touched mine, not pushing for more. My fingers dug into the soft fabric of his shirt as we kissed. It was so perfect, but so wrong. I pulled back reluctantly.

"Mase, I can't do this?"

He huffed out a laugh. "Because of him?" His profile stood out in the light coming in from the window as he turned away. "You want this as much as I do, or you wouldn't have let me kiss you in the first place. God, I've missed you, Emmy."

I sat up on my knees and made him look at me. He leaned into my side and his lips found the hollow of my neck. My low, throaty moan filled the bedroom.

"Mase," I pleaded.

"Emerald, if you truly want me to stop, I will, but I think you've missed me as much as I have missed you."

His nose rubbed along the bridge of mine and I gave in. I quit fighting what I wanted and pulled him to me. His body pressed into mine as we slowly fell back onto the bed. My fingers found the hem of his tee shirt and pulled it over his head. A wicked grin crossed his face as his hand trailed along the band of my panties. I was never so thankful that I slept in panties and a tank top in my life. It had been so long since he had touched me this way and each movement was sweet, delicious torture.

I gripped at his back as his lips followed the column of my neck. His fingers pinched my hard nipples through the thin cotton spaghetti strap I had put on for my nap. He was moving slow, cherishing and worshiping each part of my body he touched. When his hand slipped down inside my panties I whimpered against his mouth.

"Mason, please."

"I will baby, just let me in."

He tugged at my panties dragging them down my legs and tossing them over his shoulder. I tried not to cry out when his mouth kissed my pussy. The long swipes of his tongue had my entire body heating up quickly. My fingers dug into his hair and tugged on the dark locks as my climax got closer. I grabbed at the sheet and bit down on my lip to keep from screaming his name. Mason pulled back and smirked at me.

"I don't want you to come without me inside you, baby."

I stared at him for a moment. "If you haven't been with anyone since I left we don't need a condom. The odds of me getting pregnant are pretty much nonexistent."

A shadow crossed his face. "It's only ever been you, Em."

He positioned himself at my entrance and slowly pushed inside. We both groaned at the exquisite feeling. His lips crashed down on mine, muffling our moans. I watched him slowly slide in and out for a few moments until it became too much. Our gazes locked and every emotion I had been trying to fight back came bubbling to the surface. We stared into each other’s eyes as he thrust harder, making my head fall back and a low moan to escape. He reached between us finding my clit, applying the perfect amount of pressure. Mason knew my body so well. My body shattered around him, and I gasped his name. His head dropped down onto my chest as he groaned with his own release. I gripped his shoulders tighter, my nails digging into his back, and arched against him. He pressed his forehead to mine once the waves subsided. My eyes closed tight and I fought the sting of tears. This was all too intense. Too emotional.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Mason asked, brushing his hand down the side of my face. I pushed on his chest and he rolled to the side.

"I can't do this anymore. We always try to solve our problems with sex and it never fixes anything."

"Emmy," he started.

"No, Mason. I love you, but I can't go through this again. We're divorced and I have a life in New York. This is only going to confuse me and make me think we have a chance of working things out when we don’t."

"Emerald, please don't push me away. I love you. We can work this out. We always do."

"That's part of the problem. We shouldn't have to work it out. Things should be easy at least for a little while, but they aren't. They never are."

I stared at him for a moment before he backed off the bed. He looked just as lost and hurt as I felt. My heart ached, but I needed to make a clean break once and for all. We had been circling around one another, stuck in each other's orbit for far too long. Sleeping with Mason just made it clear to me that I was still making horrible choices where he was concerned. No matter how much I wanted to be with him, I wasn't sure he would ever be the right choice.

I watched as he pulled on his shorts and grab his shirt. He walked to the door slowly, his hand lingering for a moment before he opened it. I closed my eyes and turned to my side so I didn't have to watch him leave. The door slammed behind him and I felt the first of many, many tears that I would cry fall down my cheeks.

"I love you," I whispered into the dark room. "So much."

 

***

 

Stephen was sitting up in bed reading when I walked into his hospital room the next day. He looked up at me and smiled when I knocked lightly at the door.

"Hey stranger," I said, leaning against the doorframe.

"You flew all the way across the country just for little ole' me?"

"Well, you know when you try to die on us, it kinda becomes a thing."

He opened his arms for a hug and I walked over to the bed to hug him. I was careful as I leaned down. Tears pricked at my eyes and I noticed him smiling softly.

"It'll take more than a semi to take me away from you guys."

"You scared the hell out of us. Don’t do that again."

He brushed my hair back from my forehead. "I know it was close. I'm not going anywhere though."

I finally let go and tried to compose myself. The chair in his room was already next to his bed. "How did you get Taylor to go home? She's been up here every second we would let her. I can only imagine what you had to threaten to get her to go home."

He smiled. "Trust me; she'll be back as soon as she gets a few hours sleep."

"You two figure it all out?"

"We did before the accident, but now I'm never letting her go again. Life is too short to waste on regrets." He pinned me with a look. "You would do well to remember that, Emerald."

I dropped my gaze down to my hands. "I still love him."

"I know you do."

“We don’t trust each other.”

Stephen rested back into his pillows. "He trusts you. I'm going to tell you something that I probably shouldn't, but nearly dying will give me a free pass with Mase. John begged Mason to protect his family.”

“John? What does Aubrey’s husband have to do with Mason staying in Savannah?”

“When John left to go overseas on his last assignment, he knew it was going to be bad. The places they were sending him were becoming more unstable by the day. I think he knew he wasn’t coming home. You and Mason got married right before he deployed. By the time you got back from Vegas, John’s unit had already gone black. There was a letter,” he trailed off. “Mason got the letter the day before you asked him to move to New York.”

"Why didn't he just tell me? I would have stayed. We could have been together and none of this would have happened. Aubrey’s husband was one of my best friends. She’s my sister for God’s sake."

Stephen frowned. "He wanted to protect you. You would have given up your dreams and that wasn't what Mason wanted for you. He's so proud of everything you've achieved. If he told you, you would have sacrificed everything.”

“Aubrey didn’t find out that John had died until six months after he’d deployed. Why did Mason get the letter before that?”

“It was the kind of letter that said he wasn’t coming back because it was basically a suicide mission.”

“Oh Mason,” I whispered. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Stephen was quiet for a moment. “Do you love your job?"

"Yeah, I guess, but not more than I love him." A tear dropped onto my hand. "I wanted my life with him more than any job. I knew he supported me, so that’s why I was so confused by him refusing to come to New York."

"Mason knew that if he told you, you would have sacrificed this amazing opportunity. He always talks about how much you've done and how he knows he made the right decision. The reason he didn't file the divorce is because he didn't actually want it. He hoped you would hate your job, come home, and you two would figure it out, but that wasn’t what happened. He knew he screwed up, Em."

"Why hasn't he told me any of this?"

"Because he's stubborn and proud. If you really love him, work it out. Otherwise just let him go, because both of you deserve to be happy, even if it isn’t together. Life is too short for all the other nonsense."

I looked at the cords and machines decorating his hospital room. Life really was too fragile for all this nonsense. Stephen knew it better than any of us.

 

***

 

Taylor asked everyone to go to lunch before Lexi and I headed back to New York later that afternoon and her friend Amanda left to finish up the film she was working on. It had officially been one week since Stephen woke up. He was finally at home and she was on cloud 9. We were all sitting outside at a patio table at a restaurant on the beach. It was making me incredibly jealous that we didn’t have this kind of weather in the city this time of year. When I got home it would still be freezing cold outside and probably would be for the next month at least.

Lexi was sitting next to me, finally looking like she could breathe again. She’d been so wrapped up in making sure her brother’s doctors were taking the best possible care of him, that we hadn’t had much time to catch up. Now that Stephen was recovering at home, she decided to stay at Taylor and Stephen’s house to help out. I wasn’t sure how that was working out, but things seemed a little better between my two friends. Lexi had blamed Taylor for the breakup for the past six months, causing a huge rift between the two, but they seemed to be calmer. Stephen must have had one of his heart to heart conversations with Lexi because she wasn’t biting off Taylor’s head anymore. I jumped when she put her hand on my arm.

“Are you okay, honey? You’ve been really quiet the past few days.”

I nodded and swallowed around the permanent lump that had formed in my throat. “I’m fine, just tired. I stayed up late catching up on some work last night.”

Lexi’s knowing eyes bore into me. “Are you sure this has nothing to do with Mason leaving two days ago?”

I shook my head and looked down at my caprese salad. “Nothing at all.”

“Did he say goodbye?”

I pushed my fork around on my plate. “No, he didn’t, but I’m sure he had to get back to the office.”

“Thank you guys for being there for me during all this. It’s been a hard couple of months," Taylor said, getting everyone’s attention.

Violet smiled at her. “I’m just glad you figured your shit out, little sister.”

“Me too,” she replied.

“I’ll be happy when I get to call you sister too,” Lexi chimed in, surprising us all.

Taylor turned to her. “I’ll like that too, Lexi.”

Sophia, Violet’s sister-in-law wiped at her eyes; her emotions were all over the place lately since she was pregnant, but I noticed Violet was discretely doing the same.

“I’m sorry. I’m just happy that you two are making up."

I rubbed Sophia's back gently and winked at Vi. Taylor was looking at each of us suspiciously, like she knew we were keeping a secret from her. It wasn't mine to tell though, and I was positive Violet would be sharing her news soon.

Taylor took in another deep breath. "Guys, I need to tell you something. I have a degree in psychology from NYU. I took online courses while I was traveling."

"So you aren't the carefree spirit we all believed you were, huh?" Violet said, trying not to laugh. "I saw your diploma when we helped you move into the beach house. I bitched to everyone about it."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Taylor sounded miserable. You’d think she’d feel better that we all knew already.

"It's fine. I was upset when I found it, but I'm over it now. You've always been one to keep secrets, Taylor."

I grabbed Taylor's hand from across the table and squeezed. Lunch was fun and exactly what we needed after all the stress from the past few weeks. Lexi and Vi kept shooting looks in my direction, but I deftly ignored them. As far as I was concerned, there wasn't anything to talk about when it came to Mason. We’d made a mistake when we slept together and instead of talking to me about it, he decided to leave without saying another word to me. I pushed him away and now I had to figure out how to live without him.

Again.