A week after I got back from Vegas, I was finally able to catch up with Lexi. She sipped her coffee as I told her about the call from Mason before the trip, and my difficult conversations with Taylor. She didn't seem all that surprised that he’d called, but it sure as hell had shocked me. After my long plane ride, I’d decided I wanted to move on and forget about Mason. The man had hurt me in every way conceivable. I still loved him and it hurt like hell to think about the divorce, but it was time to let him go.

"Earth to Emmy," Lexi called, waving her hands in front of my face.

"Sorry, I'm here."

She set her coffee on the table and looked at me in concern. "You've been distant lately. What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

I let out a heavy breath and tried to explain. It was difficult enough just trying to figure where my head was myself, let alone trying to explain it to someone. "Mason really hurt me. He still knows how to hurt me, but something about that call made me wonder. When I pushed the issue of New York he got mad. That’s when he told me it was over, but part of me made me think that’s not what he actually wanted."

"You think he promised someone he wouldn't leave Savannah?" she asked.

"Maybe. Am I sounding completely nuts?" I asked, biting my lip.

She laughed. "No, not really. I think you should call him and talk to him again. Preferably with him sober this time."

I sighed. "Maybe I’m reading into things."

"You won't know until you ask him, honey, and it's going to bug you until you do."

“I can’t ask him. I’m not sure I want to hear his answer."

Lexi pulled her sunglasses down over her nose and pinned me with a hard look. "Emerald Carter Davis, you are one of the strongest people I know. You need to make a decision when it comes to those two men you have, or you might just find yourself losing both of them." I shook my head and she went on. “What happened to our little business mogul? The girl who went to Paris to model to pay for law school? Where did that girl go?”

I sighed again. "I wish I knew. This is driving me nuts. I feel like I'm leading Adam on, but when I'm with him, everything is perfect for a little while. I forget about Mason. What I have with Adam is exactly how I wanted my marriage to be."

This time the look that Lexi gave me was more sympathetic. "Make sure you choose the one that is going to love you the best."

“I’m not going back to Mason,” I said automatically.

She looked at me skeptically, but finally nodded. I leaned back in my chair and tried to calm my nerves. Mason loved me and he missed me, but that didn't mean that he would uproot his life for me. He’d already divorced me because he wasn’t willing to. So why was I wasting my time even considering that Mason might change his mind suddenly after one phone call?

I just wished he would tell me why. I deserved closure.

 

***

 

Adam and I were on our first date in weeks. He looked sexy as hell in his dark sports coat and slacks. Most of the time he lived in scrubs, so seeing him dressed up was always a treat. I wasn’t about to complain either way though. He understood my work schedule could be just as crazy as his. Except with him, he never knew when someone would go into labor. We were constantly either rescheduling or interrupted on our dates. He loved his job, so I did the best I could to be understanding and supportive. It made having alone time with him impossible some days, though.

The restaurant he’d chosen was incredibly romantic and we were having an amazing time, until Adam dropped a huge bomb on me.

I looked over the table at him like he sprouted two heads.

"Just hear me out," he said quickly.

We were sitting at dinner and he had just proposed the most ridiculous idea I had ever heard of. Adam Parker had officially lost his mind. My stress level was at a ten from everything going on at work and in my personal life. Now he wanted to go on a weekend trip to a bed and breakfast in Maryland.

He offered up a place in Vermont too, but he was leaning towards the one in Maryland.

My mind was spinning as he described the beautiful place he wanted us to visit. I was floored by the fact that he’d realized I was so stressed out, but that didn't mean I was ready to go away with him. The last thing I needed was to think about sex right now. My face flushed as I thought of the possibilities.

Sex with Adam would be amazing if and when it happened. The man had a talented mouth, but—no, I couldn’t go there.

"Adam, this is an insane idea. It has to be hard for you to get time off from the hospital. You're booked out for months at a time with patients."

His blue eyes were pleading with me to say yes. "It wasn't easy, but I think you need to get away from everything and everyone. We need to get away. You haven't been yourself lately. I know that the last six months of your life have been hell, but eventually you have to start moving on."

"It wasn't easy?" I asked as I huffed a laugh.

"I just want to help."

He shrugged helplessly. Tears blurred my vision as I reached out and grabbed his hand.

"You are the sweetest thing."

"So what do you think, should I make the reservations?"

As nervous as I was, I wanted to spend the weekend with him. He wasn’t the kind of guy to pressure me into sex, but just being with him was going to be tempting. "Make the reservations wherever you want. Either sounds wonderful, honey."

Adam smiled at me, clearly happy with my decision. The waiter came up and asked if we wanted any dessert; I was going to say no, but Adam looked up and said, "Please bring a piece of the chocolate cake and two glasses of champagne."

I looked over at him questioningly.

"We're celebrating because you actually said yes to going on a romantic vacation with me."

I laughed. "Did you think I was going to say no?"

"Honestly? Yeah I did."

"Why?" I asked in confusion.

He looked pensive before finally answering. "You have been really reserved about spending any time with me lately. We've been friends for over a year now, but it’s been hard to convince you to even come out to dinner since Georgia. I know it has something to do with Mason, but you've been pushing me away for months now. I have to say, it makes me a little nervous."

"Oh, Adam." I took his hand in mine. "I'm so sorry that you feel like you have something to worry about. I've been trying to handle everything on my own and not drag you into my messed up marriage. I’ll tell you anything you want to know."

Except that I had sex with my soon-to-be-ex-husband while I was in Georgia. And that it might or might not be the reason I’m pushing you away. I won’t tell you that.

I wouldn't lie to him, but I really didn't want to explain that. Adam let me lean on him when I needed it most after moving to New York. We’d talked my relationship with Mason to death already.

Why did this all have to be so damn difficult? Why couldn't I just be like every other woman and be happy that I had moved on and had a great guy sitting in front of me?

A guy who wanted me.

And enjoyed spending time with me.

In the same fucking state.

"It's fine, Em. I know you’re going through some shit. Believe me, my ex screwed up my head too. I understand. We had some slip ups when we saw each other after we filed,” he said pointedly. My eyes flew to his. Did he know? “And it has to be weird talking about your ex-husband with the guy you've been dating." My head dipped, breaking eye contact with Adam. "Hey, I didn't mean that in a bad way. You know I love talking to you, no matter what we’re talking about."

"I know. It's just weird that I thought I was divorced for a whole year, and then I found out I'm not. Mason never gave me a good reason why he never filed the paperwork.” I messed with my water glass. “I guess I've felt a little lost lately. This situation hasn't been easy to try to process. I thought I was moving past it and starting to feel like myself after the divorce, then the miscarriage. Now it feels like everything's falling apart again."

Adam squeezed my hand. "You don’t have to figure everything out this second. If Mason didn't realize what he had, and he let you go a second time, he's an even bigger douchebag than I thought he was."

I choked out a laugh.

"Thanks, Adam."

The waiter brought our cake and champagne and slipped away quietly. Adam handed me a glass and held his up in a toast.

"To new beginnings."

 

***

 

"Oh fuck Em. That feels so good."

Fingers tangled in the back of my hair as I ran my tongue along the ridge of his hard length. He shuddered when his grey eyes met mine.

"Should I get you off in my mouth first, so when you fuck me you can last longer?" I asked teasingly.

Groaning out his approval, his hips thrust forward letting me know just how much he liked that idea. I squealed when he picked me up like a ragdoll and put us in a sixty-nine position. His mouth found my clit quickly. He sucked hard, following it up with soothing laps of his tongue. I squirmed against him until he smacked my ass to make me stop. In punishment, I sucked his cock into the back of my throat. He thrust in further until I started to gag. It took me a few seconds to relax my jaw, allowing him to slide in easier. His hips started thrusting faster the closer he got to his orgasm. We were racing now to see who would be able to make the other come first.

"Dirty girl, you like this don't you?” he asked as he took a deep breath.

I moaned in pleasure, making him groan as the vibrations of my mouth surrounded his cock. He bit down lightly on my clit and moved another of his fingers to just brush against my tight asshole. He was fighting dirty and I loved it. I slid my hand up to cup his balls and put pressure right behind them as I sucked him as far back into my throat as I could. His body tensed up and I knew he was seconds away from coming. He bit down on my clit again and as my orgasm started he slid his finger into the forbidden spot, making me come harder than I ever had before. Hot jets of his cum hit the back of my throat and I swallowed around my moans. He swirled his tongue once more around my sensitive clit.

It was too much.

Another orgasm worked its way through my body, causing me to yell out Mason’s name.

 

I woke up moaning and my whole body tingled. Oh hell, not again. This was the third time this week I’d woken up to a sex dream. Why did it have to be him? I turned to look at the clock and winced as my nipples rubbed against the silk nightgown I’d worn to bed. They were so sensitive. It was two in the morning and I was wide awake.

This had to stop. It was getting harder and harder to sleep. If it wasn't nightmares, it was sex dreams. My subconscious was telling me something, I just didn't know what it was. Or maybe I did and I just wanted it to stop. I pulled the pillow over my face and screamed.