The Gift of Life
Asa
I lean back across our booth from Keelie with the dregs of pizza bones, pepperoni rolls, and chicken wings scattered on plates. That’s what everyone, but Keelie, ate. She had the baked ziti with a salad.
No wonder Saylor was excited to come here. They must be regulars. As soon as Keelie’s fine ass hit the booth, the manager appeared, setting a beer down in front of her with an orange on the rim. This was followed by a waiter with drinks for her kids. Saylor’s had a handful of cherries, which she started fishing out with her little fingers the second her drink was within reach. They were all eaten by the time Emma and I had a chance to order drinks.
We started out on separate sides of the booth, Keelie sandwiched by her kids with Emma next to me. By the time Keelie finished her salad, Saylor had made her way under the table and climbed up between Emma and me—much to the dismay of her mother. There was no reason for Emma to worry that we’d talk about her. Saylor dominated the evening.
“Saylor, baby. Quit climbing all over Mr. Hollingsworth.”
Saylor is up on her knees leaning into my chest. “But he likes me. Right, Asa?”
I grin and put my hand to her back to steady her, but don’t have a chance to answer when Keelie shoots back, “I told you to call him Mr. Hollingsworth.”
“He told me to call him Asa.” Saylor turns from her mom to me. “Right, Asa?”
“You’re right on both counts.”
I hear Keelie sigh and when I look to her, she’s resigned. Her daughter seems to have a stronger will than anyone.
“Can I have money for games?” Knox looks to his mom and Keelie glances at her watch before giving in again and digging through her purse for cash.
“We’re leaving in ten minutes.” She hands her kids a few bucks each.
Saylor scrambles over me and calls to Emma, “Come do the claw machine with me. It’s the best claw machine in the history of everything.”
I pick up Saylor and no sooner have her feet hit the floor, does she dart across the room to the meager selection of arcade machines and I stand to let Emma out. Who the hell knew I needed a bossy five-year-old to get my daughter off her ass? Not only has she hung out with goats, but she’s had to answer all of Saylor’s questions about high school, and now she’s playing outdated video games.
I reach into my pocket and peel off a twenty to hand Emma. “Feed the machines for them, sweetheart.”
Emma doesn’t miss a beat. “Cool.”
When I sit back down, Keelie has her arms crossed, pulling her shirt even tighter across her tits. I look up to her eyes that peek out at me from under the brim of her baseball hat. Her hair’s a mess of waves flowing out from underneath, and for some reason, I like the fact she didn’t feel the need to do herself up. Not that she needed to. I’d take her covered in paint any day.
“What are you painting?” I ask.
She drops her arms and leans back. “You mean, what am I not painting? Woodwork, walls, ceilings … if it’s atrocious, I’m painting it. Or tearing it down.”
I stretch my arm across the back of my booth. “This shouldn’t surprise me. You were willing to tackle that flat tire on your own. Still, when I first saw you standing in the ditch, you didn’t strike me as a woman who liked to get her hands dirty.”
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah? Well, lots of things change when a woman gets moved out to the country and becomes the owner of a century-old house that looks its age, adopting a donkey in the process.”
I tip my head. “You adopted the donkey?”
“Jasmine came with the property. The cats just keep showing up, so I feed them. The dogs and goats came later. Over the last three years, four goats somehow spiraled into thirteen. I need another goat like I need a hole in the head, but the kids love them. We had babies for the first time this year and Saylor is in goat heaven.”
I frown. “You fixing up the house all by yourself?”
She pulls in a big breath. “I’m doing more than I ever planned. I have a contractor, but the budget changed and now he works for me on the cheap when he can. When I say cheap, I mean almost for free. I’m lucky, he only does it because he likes us. Right now he’s working on the porch, but my list is long. I’d move back to the city in a heartbeat but the kids love it and it’s their home, so I’m making it work. It should be done by the time I retire.”
I raise a brow. “You’re full of surprises.”
She changes the subject. “Did you find out anything about our suspected drug dealer?”
I lean my forearms on the table and shake my head. “Stolen plates.”
“Oh. Well, shit.”
I smirk. “I’m still making some calls. Don’t give up on me yet.”
“Who, may I ask, are you making calls to?”
I shake my head and give her a small smile. “I’ve got contacts. We’ll see how well they pan out. For now, just know I’m working on it.”
She nods before putting her forearms on the table. “Why did you just show up tonight instead of calling? You have my number.”
“Would you have said yes to dinner had I called?”
She looks over at the kids feeding the machines before back to me and lowers her voice. “No.”
I lower mine, too. “That’s why I didn’t call.”
She leans in closer. “I’ve decided I’m not dating anyone, Asa.”
I feel my lips tip on one side. “Aren’t you presumptuous? We’re not in high school, Keelie. I don’t date.”
She sits up, taken aback. “Oh.”
I focus on her blue eyes and milky skin. “This is me getting Emma out of the house. This is me getting to know you. This is us feeding our kids and doing it on the easy since I hate to cook. This is also me meeting your kids so it’s not weird.”
Her eyes narrow. “Why would it be weird?”
I lean back and stretch my arm across the booth again. “It would only be weird if we dated and had to do the whole meet-each-other’s-kids’ thing. But we won’t need to worry about that, since we both don’t date.”
“Good.” Her shoulders relax a bit.
I lean in again. “Keelie?”
Her brows pucker under the bill of her blue baseball hat. “Hmm?”
I lower my voice. “We’re adults. I don’t need to date to know what I want.”
Her pink lips part and she pulls in a breath. “What do you mean?”
“I want to get to the good stuff. Eating together. Spending time with our kids together. If I have to, I’ll even fucking help you paint. Then if all that goes okay, we can get to the really good stuff.”
Her frown deepens. “And what would that be?”
I narrow my eyes. “When I get to wash the paint from your hair.”
Her eyes go big.
I lower my voice even more. “And then the rest of you.”
“Oh, fuck,” she mutters, a blush spreading across her face.
“I’m looking forward to that, too,” I add.
“I can’t believe you just said that. We’ve only had dinner—with our kids.”
“I like everything I see and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know you do, too,” I point out.
She’s taken aback by my directness and argues, “That sounds like dating.”
“It’s not dating.”
She leans forward and narrows her eyes—her voice laced with a sharp edge. “What is it then, Asa?”
I lean in and we’re as close as we’ve been all night. “You date someone to figure out what you want. I know what I want and I think you do, too. It’s the gift of life, Keelie. We just need to embrace it.”
Her face falls right when we hear Knox at our sides. “Thanks for the game money, Mr. Hollingsworth.”
Keelie and I both lean back at the same time and I look to her son. “No problem. And no need for formalities. You can call me Asa.”
“Sweet. Thanks, Asa.”
“I’m going to the restroom,” Keelie announces and grabs her purse. “We’re leaving when I get back.”
I watch her escape to the hall leading toward the back of the restaurant as Knox slides into her seat across from me.
“You get enough to eat?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Good. What grade are you in, Knox?” He’s well-spoken, even seems a little too serious for his age.
“Third.”
I watch him pick up Keelie’s phone, unlock it, and start messing with the screen. I wonder when I can see Keelie alone and decide to find out what I can from her son. “When do you and Saylor spend time with your dad?”
“We don’t.” Knox shakes his head and without looking up, says like he’s explained it a thousand times, “My dad’s dead.”
I freeze at his words, staring at the little boy sitting across from me. When I look over, Keelie is herding Saylor away from the claw machine in a hurry.
Well, fuck.
*****
Keelie
Asa sets his empty beer bottle down on the patio next to his Adirondack. I had no choice but to offer him a drink when we got back from dinner since my kids felt the need to torture me by orchestrating further together-time.
Asa insisted on driving to dinner, but we didn’t all fit in his truck, especially with Saylor’s booster seat, and I never allow her to go without. I told him we’d just meet him there. He pointed out that we’d all fit in my car. That’s when he confiscated my keys and drove us all in my minivan.
There’s no other way around it—Asa Hollingsworth looks ridiculous driving a minivan. It was all I could do not to laugh as he drove us to our favorite pizza place. He must have known I found him funny because when we got there, he smirked as he placed his big hand at the small of my back and leaned down to whisper in my ear, “If this becomes a thing, I’m buying a bigger car.”
I rolled my eyes. Like he’d buy a bigger car, and like this is going to become anything, let alone a thing.
This was all before the after-dinner conversation about him washing my hair, among other things. He and I were silent all the way home, but the silence wasn’t an uncomfortable one because—thank the good Lord for once—my daughter never stopped talking.
Saylor made plans for poor Emma. Honestly. What fifteen-year-old wants to be bossed around by a kindergartener? Emma’s been sweet about it all night, but soon enough she’s going to get sick of the one-and-only, bossy Saylor Lockhart.
Saylor dragged Emma to the kitchen and instructed me to start a fire out back. Just when I thought we could all say a quick thank you for dinner followed by a quicker goodbye, my daughter had us all sitting around the patio fireplace eating Chips Ahoy s’mores.
Chips Ahoy s’mores are a creation which fell straight from dessert heaven solely because one day we were out of graham crackers. We had to make do with the crunchy chocolate chip cookies, and the result was a keeper. There’s no need for graham crackers anymore. These things are too good not to be eaten every single time we sit in front of a fire.
But now, after pasta, two beers plus another on the patio, and a Chips Ahoy s’more, I feel like I’m going to bust out of my skinny jeans.
The sun has set and Knox and Saylor just dragged Emma off into the dark for flashlight tag. That poor girl is going to hate us. But even more importantly—or tragically, in my case—this leaves me alone again with Asa Hollingsworth.
He seems deep in thought. His handsome face is darker and broodier when lit by the flames of the fire. He’s leaning back in his chair with his fingers steepled in front of him looking out into the dark where my kids and his daughter just disappeared. He’s got his long, thick legs propped up on the stone of the hearth and his feet crossed at the ankle.
Having him here in my space—space that’s been mine and mine alone for almost two years now—is … strange. I’m trying hard not to let it make me nervous, but even more, I’m trying my damnedest not to like it. Liking him here will put a big kink in my plan to not date anyone, even though Asa explained earlier that he doesn’t date, so I guess it’s a moot point.
Still, trying to not like him here is hard.
He breaks into my muddled thoughts. “Can’t tell you how good it is to see Emma up and out of the house.”
Guilt pours over me. Here I am obsessing over myself and he’s worried about his daughter. I should know better than most what it’s like to worry about children. “I’ll have to apologize to Emma. My kids think everyone’s their best friend, we clearly need to work on boundaries. Saylor was climbing all over you like a jungle gym at dinner and Emma has become their newest toy. She’s a good sport.”
“She’s polite.” He looks back to me, his hazel eyes dark and somber. “That’s her mom’s doing. I’m lucky she did a good job with them. Up until I moved back to Virginia full-time, I had Emma and Levi a few days a month—maybe a week for a vacation here and there.”
I give him a small smile. “It sounds like you have a good relationship with your ex-wife. I don’t see that often—it’s great your kids have that. It makes a huge difference. I’m glad Emma got out to do something.”
He nods once and looks out into the darkness before over to the barn, and when he gazes back to me, changes the subject. “You’re on quite the piece of land here, Keelie.”
I sigh, looking out to where I hear the kids and see flashes of light in the woods. It took a long time, but I’m mostly okay with living here. I think it has more to do with the fact this is home for my kids. There’s no way I’d take it away from them now—no matter how tired I am of shoveling shit. “I guess. The land is why we’re here. Everything else is a work in progress. But that’s what you get when you buy a home that’s over ninety years old.”
He looks up at my house in back of us. “It’s a big house.”
“It is,” I agree. “Too big, but we’re here now. And like I said earlier, it’s slowly coming together. Even if the key word is slowly.”
He doesn’t take his eyes off me, but his voice is heavy when he states, “You doing it all on your own is a lot.”
I shrug and have nothing to say to that. It is, but I’m used to it. There’s no other choice.
He pins me with his eyes before slowly leaning up to rest his elbows on his knees. “Thanks for tonight.”
“Thank you for dinner.” As much as I argued, he insisted on getting the check.
“Tonight has been a distraction for Emma. It’s good for her, at least until I can figure out what made her sulk away from us to begin with.”
I give him a small smile and offer, “I’ll keep working on her case this week.”
He nods and stands, smoothly moving in front of me and holds out his hand. I stare at him a moment before taking his in mine and he instantly pulls me to a standing position. No sooner am I upright does he pull me the rest of the way, pressing my front to his.
He puts a firm hand to the middle of my back to keep me where I am—held tightly to his warm, very firm, muscular body. In my Converse, I barely come to his shoulders.
“I changed my mind,” he says.
Confused, I ask, “About what?”
“About dating. I’m taking you out—just us. I don’t care what you call it, but it’s happening. Soon.”
I push against his chest, trying not to let it sink in how good he feels under my touch. “Asa, I said—”
He shakes his head and interrupts me. “As much as I enjoyed being with our kids, I want time with you. Can you find someone to watch them tomorrow night?”
I shake my head. “No. I don’t have babysitters on standby. Plus, I told you—”
“Monday.” He gives me a squeeze and smirks. “Best day of the week, remember? You work on a sitter, I’ll figure out everything else.”
“But Monday’s a school night.” It’s lame, I know, but it’s the first excuse that popped into my mind.
His smirk spreads into a grin. “What, are you eighty?”
Oh shit. That reminds me of my dreaded early bird special date and really makes me want to go out on a Monday.
Without letting me respond, he brings his hand up to where he touched me earlier and cups my face with his big hand. When he brushes my jaw with his thumb, he murmurs, “I’ll call you.”
“I doubt I’ll be able to get anyone to watch them.” This is a lie. I have plenty of people I can call, namely my sister who demanded I shave my legs for pizza.
“Try,” he insists. “I’ll call you and we’ll work out the details.”
“But I don’t thin—”
He doesn’t let me finish and yells out into the darkness. “Emma, let’s get out of their hair.”
I don’t have a chance to refute him again when flashes of light come our way. This time when I push away, Asa lets me. Taking a step back, I watch Knox appear out of the darkness, right before Saylor and Emma follow.
“What do you all say to Mr. Hollingsworth for dinner and Emma for putting up with you?” I instruct my kids. Falling into mom-mode is way easier than dealing with Asa.
“Yeah, thanks,” Knox offers.
Of course, Saylor points out, “He told us to call him Asa, Mommy, and Emma likes us.”
I shake my head. Saylor thinks everyone loves her. I’m tired after a full day of painting and working around the house. I’ve been at it since before the kids got up this morning, so I can’t lie—a dinner out was nice. But now it’s late, and when I’m tired, I begin not to care about my kids’ manners.
“Thanks for the s’mores, Ms. Lockhart. They were great,” Emma says quietly.
I smile. “It’s the least I could do. You’ve been sweet to entertain my kids tonight.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” She offers me a small smirk before escaping to her dad’s truck.
I look down at my kids. “It’s time to get cleaned up. Get through the showers so you don’t smell like a goat.”
Saylor finally yawns as she heads to the house. I’ll be lucky if she doesn’t go straight to Knox’s floor and pass out.
When the patio door closes behind them, I turn back to Asa. But before I have a chance to say anything, his voice goes soft. “Saturday is over, Keelie. You can relax.”
I’m taken aback by his sweet statement and all excuses of putting him off escape my brain. He’s not being sarcastic or teasing. He was thoughtful and sounded like he truly wanted to make sure I was fine now that my Saturday is over.
Though I don’t want to, I nod and sigh. “Yeah. And Sunday is a whirlwind getting ready for the week, so it’s all good.”
“I’ll call you.”
“You really don’t need to call me.”
He raises a brow. “Then how will I know if your Sunday was a whirlwind and let you know what time to be ready Monday?”
I shake my head. “Asa—”
He stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Go get your kids to bed, Keelie. But watch this fire until it’s out.”
I frown. “I know to watch the fire.”
“I figured, but it makes me feel better telling you.” He grins.
I shake my head again. “Goodnight.”
“See you Monday.”
With that, he heads to his truck. I pull my phone out of my pocket and find five texts from Stephie demanding to know how it went with Mr. Sexy Eyes.
I shoot off a couple texts before finally telling her I’ll call her when the kids are settled. There’s just too much to say, I don’t even know where to start.
*****
Asa
We’re on our way home and Emma is back to quiet.
“Thanks for hanging out tonight. It was good to see you out of the house.” I look over to her through the dark cab.
She nods and leans her head back.
I have to know so I start carefully. “What do you know about Keelie Lockhart?”
She looks over with a little frown. “What do you mean?”
I grip my steering wheel. “I mean, do you know why she’s single?”
When I look back over, Emma’s eyes go big and she looks almost like she did when I told her we were showing up to Keelie’s unannounced. She demands, “Tell me this isn’t happening.”
I frown. “What?”
She groans and faces forward in her seat, dramatically shaking her head. “I can’t believe you. We just barged our way into Ms. Lockhart’s, you demanded they go to dinner with us, and you don’t know?”
I raise my voice. “Know what?”
“Oh shit,” she exclaims.
“Watch it,” I warn. “Your mom’ll jump my ass if she hears you talking like that.”
“Dad,” she groans using more syllables than necessary. “Her husband is dead. D-E-A-D, dead! He was killed in a car accident. I don’t even know when it happened. Everyone knows this. Everyone! Well, everyone but you, apparently. I can’t believe you. We were there all night and you didn’t know?”
I exhale and shift in my seat as I pull into my driveway. “How was I supposed to know? She didn’t tell me and you certainly didn’t, either.”
“That’s because I assumed you knew.” When I pull into the garage and throw it into park, she starts to scramble out. “I hope you didn’t say anything embarrassing.”
Emma slams the door and hurries into the house, no doubt to resume her hibernation.
Well, I’m not sure if telling Keelie I want to fuck her after washing her hair would fall into the embarrassing category, but if so, then yeah. I probably didn’t handle that well.
But, fuck. I’ve never wanted anyone so much.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and bring up my text. When I scroll down to Carson, I send him Keelie’s full name and address. I need every bit of information I can get on her. Going in blind fucking sucks.
I don’t know how normal people do it.