Leave it to me to fuck everything up. I should have kept my mouth shut, but I couldn’t let him say anything more. I don’t want him thinking that we can keep playing this little game. We had something real, but that was years ago. Now, we’re just business partners. That’s all we’ll ever be.

But I can’t deny what I’ve been feeling for him. If I’m being one hundred percent honest with myself, I have to admit that I wish something would just happen. Take tonight, for instance. Why did he have to say anything? Why couldn’t he just take control and kiss me?

I find myself driving home with the radio off, headed in the direction of my hotel room, feeling lonelier than ever. On the freeway, I drive fast and steady. I get to my hotel and fall onto the bed, groaning loudly. I want to call Jennifer and expel all my problems to her, but instead, I grab a wine cooler from the fridge and guzzle it down.

I turn off the lights and turn on the TV. The only thing that’s currently on is infomercials and the coverage of tonight’s game. I keep it on the Sports Network, but it just causes more anguish seeing Jackson’s face all over the screen. The headline is: Has our favorite bad boy finally gone good?

It’s not a very good headline, but it works. I close my eyes and run tonight over and over in my head. I should have kept my mouth shut. I should have just let things happen. It’s like Jennifer said. I just need to fuck his brains out and be done with him, once and for all.

I glance at my phone every ten seconds, hoping for a text or something from him. There’s nothing. Not even an email from Joseph.

I close my eyes and feel myself back on that sidewalk curb. The smell of the asphalt washes over me and suddenly, I feel how I used to feel, back in high school, before my life started to unfold into the chaotic disarray that it is now. I can hear Jackson talking about all his hopes and dreams. And that rush of excitement floods me all over again.

I open my eyes back up and call him. The phone rings hollow in my ears, sounding a million miles away. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m letting life guide me as it wants to. I’m just holding on for the ride, praying this will end well. Spoiler: it won’t, but I’m making the damn decision.

“Where are you?” I ask him immediately, once I hear his deep voice say ‘hello’ on the other end.

He doesn’t hesitate. “I’m at the Saguaro Inn. Not too far from you, probably. I’m with the guys, though. What’s up?”

I can feel my heart pounding. The Saguaro Inn. We’re staying in the same hotel. Okay, duh. In the background, I can hear yelling coming from the other players. It sounds like a small party, but frankly, I’m not about to join in on that fun.

“I’m hanging out and getting mildly drunk on wine coolers,” I tell him. There’s a long pause of silence and he doesn’t break it, so I clear my throat awkwardly. “And I guess I’m calling to say sorry about earlier.” I shut my eyes tight and pray he won’t freak out.

Luckily, he doesn’t. “It’s fine,” he says. It’s a little cold, but I’ll take it. I know I probably deserve it, anyway.

“It’s not. I know it’s not,” I tell him. “But I want to make it up to you.” My heart starts beating irregularly. My skin starts to prickle and my face feels clammy and hot. I take a deep breath and wait for his response.

“Yeah? And how are you going to do that?” he asks me. The sound behind him disappears and I can tell that he’s walked into the hallway of the hotel. He’s interested in what I have to say. But what am I doing? Am I crazy? Answer: probably.

“I don’t know. Why don’t you come over and find out? We’re in the same hotel. I’m probably just down the hall. Room 307,” I tell him.

“I’ll be right there,” he says, hanging up.

Suddenly, this is all too real. I close my eyes again and there we are. We’re young. We’re in love, but most of all, we’re totally lusting after each other. That was forever ago. Now, things are complicated in general. Being an adult is chaotic and crazy.

We’re young.

Well, those days are over, right? Now, we’re headed into oblivion.

I hear a knock on my door and I nearly trip over the hotel dresser when I run toward it. “Okay, chill out,” I tell myself, brushing my hair down. I’m still wearing that dress, the dress I bought to impress him. I hate even admitting that I did that.

I open the door slightly and look through the crack. “Oh, it’s you,” I say, smiling slightly.

“Yeah, it’s me. Let me in,” he says. I unlock the door and pull it open. He’s wearing a white wife beater, and his muscles are practically calling to me through the fabric. “

“Why are you staring at me all weird?” he asks, eying me as well. “Damn, I really like that dress on you. You know that?”

We walk in and I sit on the bed, rubbing my palm against the bed blanket. My dress is tight and it hugs the tops of my thighs, and I know he can’t stop looking because every time I make eye contact with him, his eyes scramble. This is already so fucking bad, but the course is set.

He doesn’t sit down. He just stands above me, looking at every part of me. I can’t read his thoughts, other than hunger. I just sit, yearning with anticipation.

“You know,” he starts. “You don’t have to apologize. I think I overstepped my boundaries earlier. I’m really sorr—”

“Jackson,” I whisper. “This isn’t a PR campaign. No more apologies. But since we’re business partners now, I think we need to figure out our boundaries. From now on, I think we should be straight with each other.”

“I agree,” he says, biting his lip slightly. I have half a mind to run my palm against his impenetrable six pack, to rip off his belt and feel the weight of all his power against me. But I don’t do anything. I just sit, stare, and wait patiently for his move. I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never felt this spontaneous. At least, I haven’t in a very long time. I’m starting to feel that this is a night for new opportunities.

“Alright,” he nods. “No more apologies. That’s fine.”

And then out of nowhere, I say what I need to say. It just comes right out of my mouth. “Touch me,” I tell him.

“What?” His pupils widen and he takes a step forward instinctually, but I can tell that his mind is telling him to do two different things.

“I’m not going to tell you again,” I whisper, closing my eyes. I spread my legs open against the bed. “You wanted me to wear this dress right? It’s because you think I’m sexy, right? You want to give me all you’ve got, right? Now’s your chance. Touch me, Jackson.”

He looks around the room as if someone might be watching. I shake my head and grab his hand. He doesn’t need much guidance. After that, everything changes. It’s not so slow anymore. The room starts to heat up as I feel his hand ride up the bottom of my dress. Right past the flowers on the fabric, his hand slithers against my smooth skin.

Finally, he touches my lips and groans loudly to himself, as if in approval. “Jesus,” he moans. “You’re soaking wet, Fiona.”

“I keep thinking about this,” I tell him, opening my eyes again. “I want you. I don’t know what that means, really. But I do. I need you to fuck my brains out.”

“For old times’ sake?” he asks me.

“Fuck the old times,” I laugh.

“That’s exactly what I want to hear,” he says. He leans over me and kisses me once, pulling back slightly. He smiles like the cocky bastard he is and I glance down at all his tattoos and battle scars. I know he’s about to give me the fucking of a lifetime and that actually presents itself in two ways. First, I feel excitement and yearning, followed by a small tinge of exhilarating fear.

He pushes his hand further up the bottom of my dress and slides his palm against my ass before pulling the whole garment over my head. He smiles and rips my bra off, snapping the left strap completely.

He kisses me again, biting down gently on my lip. His tongue wraps against mine and he pulls back again. We both look down. Him, at my body. Me, at his cock that’s pressing against the fabric of his gym shorts. My heart skips a beat and I’m suddenly even wetter than before.

“You want this?” He smiles, pulling off his shorts. I grab his underwear and slide them down. “You do want this cock, don’t you?”

“Give it to me.” I smile. “Give me everything you’ve got.”

“I don’t think you want me to go there just yet,” he says. “It’s probably too much for you to handle.”

“Don’t tell me what I can or can’t handle,” I whisper. I push my body forward and fall to the floor on my knees, arching my back and pushing myself closer to his massive cock. It’s bigger than I thought. Much bigger. “I can handle you,” I tell him, but I’m not sure if it’s true.

“Open your mouth, baby,” he whispers, his right hand falling against my cheek. His left hand goes further down, to my tits, on full display for him. He squeezes gently and rolls my nipple between his fingers. He pulls back on the tight skin and takes a deep breath. “I want to see you swallow me whole,” he says.

I grab his thick cock and start stroking him. My jaw drops open as he guides his cock into my mouth. I use my saliva to ease him in and taste salt as his head slides against my tongue. He pushes into the back of my throat and holds with a look of utter concentration on his face, like he’s trying not to cum right there. Then, he lets me go, giving me the reins.

I slide my lips off him and look up, stroking my hand over his girth.

“That’s it?” I smile. “That’s all you got?”

He pushes himself in deeper this time, over and over again, fucking my mouth. It’s lewd and dirty and so incredible. I’m squirming, trying to relieve the desperate need between my thighs as his cock actually gets harder. I mildly regret putting up such a tough exterior for him, but I’m going to finish what I’ve started.

My back is arched from this position and he reaches forward to smack my ass, sending a jolt of pleasure straight to my pussy. Smack! His hand lands on my ass again and I moan around his thick cock. He does this twice more before pulling his cock from my mouth, leaving me breathless and readier than ever.

“Fuck,” he moans. “I need to taste you. I need you in my mouth.”

He picks me up and sets me on the bed, kissing up my thighs. I feel a rush of pleasure shoot from my core, all the way up to my chest. My skin tightens and my face turns red, struggling to catch my breath when all I can manage are shallow shuddering gasps. I already know I’m not going to last.

He grabs my ass again and pulls me up to his face, sliding my panties right off. He looks at the flowery design and smirks. “Cute.”

His warm tongue parts my lips and I fall back against the bed. He moans licking me, pausing only long enough to whisper illicit things into my thigh. “I can’t believe that I’ve been missing out on this for a decade.”

“Me either,” I pant. He pulls on my thighs until I’m basically sitting on his face. He spreads me open with two fingers and slides them in.

“I’m going to make you cum, baby,” he smiles. He licks upward against my clit and lightning shoots straight to my toes, making them curl. All the while, he presses his fingers against my g-spot and moves them in just the right way.

Goose bumps shoot across my body and I’m suddenly lost in a world of pleasure and anticipation, barely able to hold on to my reality. It’s that good.

He eats me like there’s nothing else in the world he would rather be doing. My toes curl inward and I feel that knot inside me starting to build. I know that once it gets too big, I’ll lose myself to him. “Don’t stop,” I whisper. “Keep going. Just like that. Yes, Jackson! Yes!”

He doesn’t say a fucking word. He doesn’t need to. He knows what I want and he’s going to give it to me. But first, he wants to show me everything I’ve been missing out on for the past ten years.

His tongue smooths over my clit, lips tight around me. Finally, I feel it. I feel the knot burst. Just like that, I’m sent spiraling. “Oh god…” I whisper, but it’s already too late. My palms grip the bed sheets, squeezing as hard as I can. My body goes limp and rigid at the same time, and my pussy contracts against his fingers.

Before I’m finished cumming, he leans over me and pushes his cock inside me. My mouth falls, hanging wide open now. My eyes nearly roll into the back of my head. I’m numb with pleasure, completely enveloped by it. He wraps his arms around my waist and pushes himself in deeper, groaning loudly. Just hearing his wild sounds sends me further into a state of uncontrollable ecstasy. This is so fucking wrong. But, as it goes, that’s what makes me want it more than anything else.

“Harder,” I find myself telling him. He leans forward and kisses my neck and collarbone. He’s so gentle when he kisses and yet, passionate and deep. He runs his tongue across my tongue, up to my earlobe, I feel a rush of sensation, like I’m trapped in my orgasm.

I look down at his body. It’s impeccable. It’s perfection. It’s… fuck, Jennifer was right. He might be the hottest guy on the planet and, unfortunately, he has to be my ex-boyfriend. But right now, I don’t give two shits about that. He starts thrusting in quick intervals and all of our “history” goes out the damn window. It’s not about that anymore. It’s about our passions, our animalistic urges.

He flips me over, placing me on my knees, smacking my ass again. I feel the burn from his handprint radiate within seconds and I instinctually arch my ass more for him to do it again. He does and I feel oddly relieved.

I’ve never been this kinky before. I’ve never really ventured outside of the box. So when he fucks me doggy, I almost feel violated. Almost. Truth is, I feel exhilarated. Crazy and free, and I just can’t believe it’s Jackson doing this to me. Jackson, the good neighbor boy from down the street.

He grabs the thick flesh of my ass and pulls me against him. I open up for him and he slides himself in again and again. He keeps using my ass as leverage, pulling me back and then forth, back and forth. “Fuck,” he moans. “Your body is so… incredible.”

By the way he holds me, I can tell he’s already close and trying not to let himself go too soon. “Shoot your cum inside me,” I whisper, turning back. “I want to feel it.”

“Yeah, baby?” he asks me. “You want all of me?”

“I want every single last drop,” I tell him, spontaneously. Again, this is not my normal go to. Jackson just makes me feel like I can get away with anything. He makes me want to be crazy. Normally, that would be a terrible thing. But tonight, it’s everything I need.

His muscles grow tense and he falls forward a bit, shuddering. “I’m going to—” But he doesn’t even need to say it. It’s already happening. His cock thickens as he fills every inch of me. I feel his cum shoot as he holds me tight and close. He pulls me to his chest as he fucks me from behind and I swear I can feel his heart beating against my spine.

We fall to the bed and I grab a cigarette out of my purse, for old times’ sake. He glances at me and smiles, looking a little embarrassed. “Shit.” He runs his hands through his hair and looks down. I light my cigarette and smile, handing it to him.

“So…” I find myself saying, while smiling. “That happened.”

“Yeah.” He laughs. “It did.”

He leans forward and kisses me again before taking a drag. His kiss is so captivating that it actually kind of scares me. How this all happened, I can trace it back. How it will end isn’t something I want to think about. He takes a drag from the cigarette and smiles. “So,” he says. “Time for another round?”