“Look.” Renata sits me down, while Aidan runs around her house. Her new boyfriend is at work, allowing me some time with my old friend. “You can’t stay hung up on the guy. He was here and now he’s gone. Sometimes, that’s just how it works out. That’s life, Erica.”

I hate when she says my name in that way of hers, like she knows better than me. She’s made some okay choices, but so did I. At least, at one point I did.

“Ren, I know that he’s not coming back. That’s not the point,” I tell her. “You try having a child with someone who runs out on you and tell me you don’t wish someone would help out every now and then. It’s been so damn hard. I hate even admitting that to you. It’s so embarrassing.”

She moves next to me and begins massaging my shoulders and tickling her fingers down my back. I close my eyes and relax a little. “You have me,” she smiles. “I’ll always be there to help my best friend out. You know that, right?”

“Thank you,” I say. “I mean it. It means a lot to us.”

“Mom, look!” Aidan says, running wildly with one of his action figures. He makes a loud explosion noise with his mouth and presses a button on the back of the figure. Small missile-like plastic pieces come shooting out of it.

“Wow, Aidan!” I exclaim, trying to be supportive. I’ve never liked my child playing with guns, or anything related to them, but I feel like right now I need to be supportive. He knows something is off in me and he’s been talking about his dad a lot. Too many questions are going unanswered.

“I see Walker in him,” I admit. “It’s almost impossible not to. He’s in Aidan’s nose and his hair. Sometimes, I even hear it in his voice, weirdly enough.”

“Aidan is speaking British?” she asks me.

I laugh a little. “Okay, maybe not his voice. But you understand. He needs a father figure in his life,” I say.

“You’re a strong woman,” she squeezes my arms. “You don’t need a man in your life. Don’t let that myth penetrate your mind like that. You got this, girl.”

“Ren, he’s been asking a lot of questions. He’s growing so goddamn fast. He’s a million times more intuitive than I am,” I say. “I don’t know what to tell him. I can’t tell him that his father is some British guy with an odd job who left me before I could tell him I was pregnant. The whole thing is just so stupid.”

“An escort,” she corrects me.

“He wasn’t an escort,” I groan. “He provided services, other than sex.”

“You know what I mean,” she gives me a knowing eye. “I mean, I can’t pretend I wasn’t curious. If you didn’t have such a thing with him, I’d have probably called him.”

We both stare at each other for a few seconds, with serious looks on our faces. Then, out of nowhere, we realize the hilarity of the situation. We both start cracking up, laughing incredibly loud.

“What’s so funny?” Aidan asks, across the hall.

“Nothing, sweetie. Your mom made a little joke,” Renata snorts.

“Yeah, the joke is my life,” I whisper, giggling still.

“Whatever, that’s the point of living,” she says. “Seriously, if life wasn’t so embarrassing, you’d never push yourself to move forward. Trust me on this. In five years, you’ll look back and realize you did everything you should have done. You brought Aidan into this world. Beautiful, charming, handsome Aidan. That’s your kid, girl! Look how happy he is, right now.”

We both turn and look at Aidan, who’s now humming to himself, still idly playing with his toys. He’s got the biggest smile on his face that pulls on my heartstrings.

“You’re right,” I tell her. “He’s not coming back and that’s not a bad thing. If he did ever come back, I would just… well, I’d kick him in the shin!”

“You’re damn right!” She claps her hands onto her thighs. “And his balls too!”

“You’re twisted,” I laugh.

“Sadistic.” She shrugs. “I just want to look out for you, baby. You’re my girl to the end.”

“I love you, Ren. I’m so lucky to have you as a friend,” I smile. “I feel like my luck is about to turn around. Like, I really feel it inside my bones.”

“That’s because it is. This is your time. Now, own it,” she says.

It’s funny how one thing can sort of set you free. One phrase, one small action, one word even can make you feel like you’re about to change your whole life around. It starts with your outlook, I guess.

Walker isn’t coming back and that’s okay. In the end, I don’t want him back in my life anyway. The whole thing was weird to begin with. The boyfriend experience? I mean, come on. Give me a break. The whole thing is cheesy.

I take Aidan home and give a sigh of relief. “Mom?” he asks me. “You’re happy aren’t you?”

“I am, baby,” I smile. “I’m really happy?”

“You’re not sick anymore?” he asks. He got over his flu faster than I did.

“No, sweetie-pie. I’m feeling better than ever,” I tell him. No more sadness. No more feeling down. From this day forward, I promise I’ll make the most of my life because, all in all, I have it fucking made.