My heart was pounding when I heard Ben’s car pull up in my driveway.

He’s here… he’s actually here. He’s going to talk to me and maybe, just maybe, I can have him back.

But I can’t think like that. I shouldn’t think like that. I can’t get my hopes up, when I have no idea what is actually going to happen.

Even when he finds out what really happened, he might not want me anymore. What he said was true, it’s been a year, and he might be over it by now.

But I never got over it. I never even tried. I haven’t dated a single person since him, because, since him, nothing has ever felt right.

And he must feel the same on some level because he’s coming here, right? He can’t feel nothing for me… there must be something there.

He knocked on the door, and I answered it immediately, not caring if I seemed too eager. He barely got two knocks in.

“Hello!” I said excitedly, probably too excitedly. “Come on in.”

He didn’t share my excitement. If I could have described him as anything right now, it would have to be hesitant.

But he’s here, that’s what matters.

“So… what do you have to say?” he questioned, as he took a seat on my couch.

“Well, uh, where to begin…” I started nervously.

He just stared at me, waiting, making me more and more nervous…

“Okay, well, I guess I’ll start from the beginning… from after I saw you last.”

“Go ahead,” he pushed.

“Okay, well, after I left your place when trying to be friends,” I still cringed at the thought, “I did some more thinking and… well, I had pretty much decided that you were probably the one I wanted to be with.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You had? Why didn’t you say something to me?”

“Well, I didn’t want to come back to you until I had really made my decision, like you’d asked me to. I didn’t want to jump the gun. And I had this ultrasound with Isabel, so, I thought, okay, I’ll see how the ultrasound goes, and then I’ll go from there. Though I was positive I was going to leave that ultrasound knowing one hundred percent that you were the one for me.”

He looked at me expectantly. “And, did you?”

“Yeah… I did, though not in the way I figured,” I sighed. “We actually discovered something at the ultrasound…”

“Ahh…” he said. “I expected that.”

“Expected what?” I asked, because I was pretty sure there was no way for him to have expected that there had never been any baby.

“Just, you know, that there had been some kind of tragedy with the baby, and that pushed you back toward me…”

My eyes narrowed. “Is that what you think? That I got pushed away from Isabel by tragedy, and I’m only coming back to you because of that? Ben, how many times do I have to tell you, you weren’t my second choice. Didn’t I just say I was already pretty sure I was going to come back to you, regardless of how the ultrasound appointment went?”

“Yeah, but—”

“But nothing. I mean it. This isn’t just words. I’m not just trying to win you back. I thought, in my heart, that you were the one for me. And, besides, there was no tragedy to speak of.”

He raised an eyebrow. “There wasn’t?”

“No. There wasn’t,” I said definitively.

“So… then what happened?”

“As it turns out, there just was no baby.”

He gasped. “She lied to you?!”

I shook my head. “Wrong again. She really got positive pregnancy tests, but, apparently, she’d had a massive cyst on her ovary that was excreting similar hormones to pregnancy. She’d honestly thought she was pregnant, and so had I.”

“Oh… poor girl…” he said softly, and he sounded genuinely empathetic.

“Yeah, I felt really bad for her. She was obviously distraught about it. Instead of finding out she was pregnant, she found out she had a medical complication… yeah, it was rough to watch.”

“And… you didn’t want to still be with her, despite there being no baby?”

I sighed. “Ben, why can’t you get this? I didn’t even want to be with her when there was a baby. I only wanted you, and the first thing I did after I found out there was no baby was run to you.”

“You did?”

“Yes. But, apparently, you had already moved. You had already changed your number and deleted me off very social media site you had. Or, rather, deleted the social media itself…”

“Right,” he said, looking mildly embarrassed, “yeah, I might have jumped the gun on that a little bit…”

I shook my head. “No, you really didn’t. I understand why you did. I had made it clear that I was going to try for a relationship with another woman. Why would you stick around for that? In fact, I’m proud that you didn’t.”

He didn’t look proud, though. He was staring down at his feet, taking everything in.

“What are you thinking?” I asked.

He sighed. “I’m thinking a lot of things… I’m thinking this wasn’t the story I’d expected to hear. I’m thinking this year without you has been really hard, and, while I’d thought I’d be able to easily move on, I haven’t been able to. I’m thinking maybe I could have saved myself a lot of trouble, if I had left a way for you to contact me…”

That last thought had me a little excited. “Why? Would it have changed your mind? If I had been able to tell you everything that happened?”

He took in a deep breath. “Yeah… yeah, it probably would have. I would have still been upset and hesitant, of course, I think anyone would be, but… yeah, knowing you really did want to be with me would have been enough for me to try again. And if you would have been as dedicated as you seem to be now, it probably would have been enough for our relationship to survive.”

His words were making my heart pound, but I couldn't tell if it was excitement or anxiety. I guess a little bit of both. Excitement, because he was pretty much saying there was a possibility for us to be together. And anxiety, because, while he was saying it would have changed his mind a year ago, I didn’t know if it would change his mind now. I’m not sure if too much time has passed.

And what about now?” I asked. “Would it change your mind now?”

He looked right into my eyes.

“You really hurt me, Grady. And I know you changed your mind quickly, and I know that people make mistakes… but, it’s been a year. My pain, anger, and resentment has been festering for over a year.”

I nodded, “I understand.”

And I really did. I know how this shit can hurt. I know I fucked up. I’d never expected to get him back, not really. I may have hoped… but I’d never expected.

“I, uh, well…” I stuttered out. "Now that you know the truth, I guess I’ll let you go. Let you leave, or whatever. Go back to your life. I really just wanted to give you the full story so you had all the information, but, now that you do, I’ll let you go. I’ll let all of this go. I won’t bother you again, even if I see you at a baseball game,” I gave a soft smile, as I stood up to walk him out.

"Wait... when did I say I wanted to let this go?” he asked.

I looked over at him expectantly. “What… what are you saying?”

He gave a gentle smile. “I’m saying I’ve been in love with you a long time, Grady. And I still am. And I want to try for something with you.”

Without a word, I jumped over to him and wrapped my arms tightly around him as I kissed all over his cheek.

“Oh my god, thank you, Ben. Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving me a second chance. I promise, I won’t let you down. I won’t let our relationship flounder again. This time around, everything is going to work out, I swear!”

“It better,” he smiled back.

“It will! It will, it will, it will, I swear it!”

And then I kissed him. For the first time in years, I kissed him. And it was this glorious, magnificent, stunning kiss. The kind of kiss I wasn’t sure was ever going to happen for me again. Not without him by my side, anyway.

Then I couldn't stop kissing him.

I slid my mouth down his neck, planting passionate kisses everywhere my lips lingered. He moaned softly under the touch of my lips as he pulled at the hem of my shirt and tried to yank it over my head.

Oh, yes, this is happening. And it’s been so goddamn long since I’ve actually had sex. And now it was going to be with him… the love of my damn life.

After he got my shirt off, I wriggled his off. And we both proceeded to drop our pants. Somehow, it felt so natural. It was like there hadn’t been a year between now and the last time we’d had sex. We still knew exactly how to touch each other, exactly what we wanted the other to do…

so I knew damn well that Ben wanted me to flip him on to his stomach and ravage his ass.

I moved his body over forcefully, and he groaned at my touch. In his new house, I had no idea where he kept the lube, so I just spit on his asshole and rubbed it gently before sliding my finger in for him.

He was pretty fucking tight, so I played around with just my finger for a while. I enjoyed this quite a bit, teasing him, feeling inside him, making him squirm underneath me.

I slid a second finger in, and by that time, he was loosening up. I gave a few good strokes with two fingers, and then I quickly pulled them out to replace them with my cock.

“Yes, baby, do it! Fill me the fuck up. Please, I need it.”

I obliged.

I inched my cock in at first, making sure his asshole could take me, and then I rammed my entire self into him. Over and over, humping those tight little ass cheeks as I gripped his wrists to hold him down underneath me.

He loved this, I know he did. He always loved to be dominated by me. He squirmed against me and forced me to keep him held down.

“Take it,” I muttered in his ear, “take my whole, big, fat cock.”

“Okay!” he squealed. “Give me all of it, baby! Give me all of it! Cum the fuck inside me. Fill me with your sperm, please.”

And, although I normally held out longer than this, that’s exactly what I was about to do. A year with no sex had clearly done a number on me. Mix that with the fact that I thought Ben was the sexiest man I’d ever met, and you have an orgasm after only five minutes of vicious humping.

And I didn't even care. I was so hot for him. I wasn’t even thinking about time. I was like an animal, just craving an orgasm. I was getting down to my animalistic instincts of wanting to spread my seed inside the person I love. So I was going to.

“I’m gonna come, baby!” I groaned on top of him. “I’m going to leak inside you!”

“Do it!” he pleaded. “I want to feel your warmth! I want to feel like I’m yours again!”

My balls tightened as rope after rope of cum shot out into him. It was the fattest load I’d ever had with him, probably that I’d ever had with anyone. It felt like it lasted forever. When it was over, I was satisfied.

I let go of his wrists that were marked red with how tightly I’d been holding him. Normally, when I’m having sex with someone, I check that it's okay to be so rough, but I already knew that it was his preference. And he certainly wasn’t complaining now.

“Holy fuck, that was good,” I told him, as I panted and sat up.

“God,” he mumbled, “it’s back.”

“What’s back?” I asked him.

He rolled over to face me. “The good, good, amazingly good sex.”

I laughed. “Yeah, and I hope it’s here to stay.”

“Me, too,” he said, as he kissed me. “I hope it’s all back. The sex, the romance, the intensely passionate love.”

“It is,” I told him, “and if I have anything to do with it, it's never going to leave again.”

“It better not, babe. Don’t leave again. Don’t give me a reason to leave, either. I want the love to stay. I want us to stay. You’re the only man I’ve been able to imagine myself with. I want the love to stay.”

“The love is going to stay, baby, I promise. It’s here to stay.”

And it truly was.