I was so busy the next week that I didn’t see much of Damien or Derek. Jack was working extra long hours at Empire Mesa, and Mom couldn’t stop fretting about him.
“He’s straining himself much too hard,” Mom said, glancing out the window for what felt like the fifth time that evening. “I don’t know how one man could cope with that level of stress, but he won’t relax no matter what I tell him!”
“Mom,” I said gently. “He’s a grown man, who can make his own decisions.”
“Well, I’d rather not be a widow at fifty,” Mom said, shaking her head. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry,” she said, seeing my expression. “I’m not angry. I’m very grateful for all that Jack does for us. I just wish he would learn to delegate, that’s all. He has so many men working for him…don’t you think he could at least step back, just a little bit?”
I smiled wryly. “Mom, Jack doesn’t seem like a man who’s comfortable taking the back seat,” I said. “Derek is the same way, I know he got it from his father.”
“Unlike Damien,” Mom muttered under her breath.
For a moment, I was tempted to defend Damien, tell Mom that he really isn’t that bad of a guy. But I didn’t want her asking so many questions – especially not when she was in such a bad mood about Jack.
I had no idea whether Mom would ever find about my sleeping with both Wilson brothers…but I fervently hoped that it would be a secret I took to my grave. Thinking about it hurt – I wanted Damien, I wanted him as a boyfriend. I wanted to date him, to be open with him. But maybe it was better this way: if things never really got off the ground, maybe I wouldn’t get hurt.
“Can you help with dinner, sweetie?” Mom asked.
“Sure,” I said, reluctantly pushing all thoughts of Damien out of my head. I reached into the fridge and pulled out a bagged salad, dumping everything into a bowl and stirring it around.
The front door opened and slammed shut.
“Honey?” Mom called. “Is that you?”
Jack stumbled into the kitchen, looking weary. Thick dark circles were under his eyes, and he slumped into a chair.
“Hon,” Mom said. “Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m really tired, Nadine,” Jack said. There was an edge to his voice that I didn’t normally notice when he got home from work.
“Well, I have pot roast with carrots and onions in the oven,” Mom chirped. “And Emma is making a salad. Can I get you a drink?”
“Gin and tonic,” Jack said. He cleared his throat and reached into his briefcase for his laptop.
“Hey, no working at my table,” Mom said. Her voice was light and teasing, but I could tell she was irritated. “Put that away, until after dinner.”
“Nadine, I have to catch Nathan before he leaves the London office,” Jack said. “So lay off.”
I bit my lip and shrugged at my mom. She gave me a dark look.
“I’m going to go upstairs and work on some homework,” I said. “I can eat later, don’t worry about me.”
“Really?” Mom frowned. “Honey, I thought you said you were starving.”
“I guess I’m not,” I said, lying through my teeth. Being around Mom and Jack when they weren’t happy with each other was excruciatingly painful, and I just wanted to escape from the room and be alone with my sordid thoughts of Damien and Derek.
“Emma, please don’t forget to take out the recycling tonight,” Jack said through clenched teeth. “The bin out back is overflowing, and you know we have problems with raccoons around here.”
I frowned. “Okay,” I said. “Although I’m not sure I forgot it before.”
“Just do it, Emma,” Jack growled.
“Jack!” Mom said. “What’s gotten into you?”
Jack sighed. He closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair, shaking his head.
“Forget it, Emma,” Jack said. “Sorry if I was curt. I had a real hell of a day.”
“It’s okay,” I said awkwardly. “I’ll just be upstairs now.”
Mom gave me a sympathetic look, and I returned it. I felt bad – being married to Jack couldn’t be easy, especially not when he acted out like this. I turned on my heel and walked out of the kitchen, bounding up the stairs two at a time.
I wondered when I’d see Damien again. I wondered if we’d sleep together – ever since I’d been with him on the yacht, I’d been craving his touch. I’d been craving his kisses, his hard cock pressed into my thigh. I shivered. God, I want him, I thought as I bounded across the landing and into my bedroom.
“Emma!” Mom screamed. “Come, quick!”
My heart skipped a beat, and I turned on my heel, flying down the stairs. Panicked thoughts were running wild through my head. What’s going on? Does Jack know about Damien and me? Did he tell Mom? Oh my god, what am I going to say?
Mom was shrieking and screaming when I ran into the kitchen, my feet skidding across the tiled floor. Jack was slumped over in his chair, his forehead on the table.
“Emma, call 911!” Mom screamed. “Oh my god, oh my god!” She began crying hysterically, sinking to the floor and rocking back and forth.
As quickly as I could, I dialed 911 with shaking hands and requested an emergency ambulance.
“Please, be quick,” I said, hanging up the phone.
Across the room, Mom was rocking back and forth and sobbing hysterically. I was torn – should I try comforting her? Or should I worry about Jack, who had obviously suffered something horrible?
“Mom, please, calm down,” I said. “Take a deep breath for me, okay? You can do that, Mom, I’m proud of you.”
Mom took a long, shuddering breath. “I can’t believe it,” she whispered, the tears glistening on her cheeks. “I’m too young to be a widow, Emma!”
“You can’t think like that,” I said sharply. “We have to stay strong for Jack.”
I reached for Mom’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “We have to be strong,” I repeated.
The sound of sirens filled the air, and I sighed, closing my eyes. Thank god, I thought. Maybe they can get him to a hospital in time – maybe everything will be okay in the end.
The paramedics rushed into our house, picking up Jack and strapping him to a gurney. One of the men started firing questions at Mom so quickly that she began to sob again.
“Mom, go with Jack in the ambulance,” I said. “I’ll call Damien and Derek and follow behind to the hospital.”
The paramedics wheeled Jack out to their ambulance and Mom followed behind, weeping so loudly that I could hear her choking on her own sobs. As I climbed behind the wheel of my car, my heart was heavy with dread and anxiety. All sexy thoughts of Damien had rushed out of my head – what the heck was I supposed to do if Jack died? I knew I’d have to support my Mom – and judging by what a mess she was now, I knew that wouldn’t be an easy task.
At the hospital, I sat in the waiting room with Mom, Damien, and Derek. Mom’s face was an ashen gray.
“Nadine, what happened?” Derek demanded urgently. “Tell me everything.”
“Like you’d know better than a doctor,” Damien shot back. “Can’t you see Nadine is obviously too upset to talk about it?”
“He said his left arm had been bothering him all day,” Mom said in a strained voice. She reached up and wiped her eyes with a soaked tissue. “And…I was so afraid, I realized it was bad. Just as I was convincing him to go to the emergency room, he grabbed his chest and fell over.”
“Great,” Derek snorted. “So you couldn’t even get him to the hospital on your own?”
“Hey,” I shot back. “Mom’s doing the best she can, okay?”
Derek bit his lip, although I could tell he wanted to reply in anger.
“Fuck, Emma,” Derek muttered under his breath. “I can’t fucking believe this – I was in meetings all day! I had no idea he was in pain!”
“Neither did I,” Damien said, shaking his head. He looked like he wanted to cry, but he set his features in a thin line of grief. “I can’t believe it.”
“You can’t believe it?” Derek shot back. “Fuck you, Damien. You don’t give a shit about our father! You never have!”
“Hey,” I said. “There’s no need for that.”
Derek and Damien ignored me. They sat there, glaring at each other like rival lions in the animal kingdom. A wave of guilt rushed over me. I knew they weren’t just tense because of the situation with Jack. I knew that secretly, no matter how everyone was trying to hide it, some of the tension was because I was their lover.
“Fuck you,” Damien muttered, shaking his head. “I can’t believe this, I can’t believe you’re blaming me for our father’s heart attack!”
“Boys!” Mom snapped. She sniffed. “Please! Jack wouldn’t want you to be fighting.”
“Jack doesn’t give a shit,” Damien snarled. “And you don’t get to tell me about my own goddamned father, you hear me?” He got to his feet and stormed off, his feet stomping loudly on the tile floor.
“Fucker,” Derek said, shaking his head angrily. “I can’t fucking believe him. He’s the scum of the earth – he shouldn’t even be alive!”
I stared at him. “Really, Derek?”
Derek’s gaze met my own. “Yes, Emma,” he said sarcastically. “What, you’re suddenly an expert on my brother and me? Please,” he scoffed. “Stay out of this.”
“Emma, please,” Mom said. “Don’t encourage him.”
“I didn’t do anything,” I said hotly, getting to my feet and putting my hands on my hips. “It’s not my fault that Jack had a heart attack. And guess what, Derek? It’s not Mom’s fault, either. And it’s not Damien’s, and it’s not yours! Things happen sometimes!”
“Things?” Derek looked at me incredulously. “Things? Emma, I’m not a little kid,” he said. “I’m a hell of a lot better than my brother, and you know it. I don’t even know why Damien bothered showing up – he doesn’t give a shit about our father or our family life!”
I narrowed my eyes and glared. “Derek, shut up,” I said firmly.
“Damien’s a cad, and an asshole,” Derek continued. “He’s lucky I don’t beat the shit out of him.”
“Derek, enough!” I snapped. “You need to shut the heck up, okay? Damien’s a good man. He tries to be a good man! He’s not perfect like you, and you know how much he resents you for that?”
Derek stared at me, clearly shocked.
My mom cocked her head to the side and looked at me. “Emma, are you feeling all right?”
Tears came to my eyes, and I crossed my arms over my chest. “No,” I said. “I’m not all right. I’m sick of everyone treating Damien like crap just because he acts out!”
“He’s not a little kid,” Derek said pointedly. “He’s a man, who makes terrible decisions, and that isn’t my issue.”
“Well, stop beating him up about it,” I said sharply. “He’s your brother! You should love him!”
Derek looked like I’d slapped him across the face.
“That’s enough,” he said sourly. “I’m going to see the doctor.”
Derek sauntered out of the room. When I was left alone with Mom, she gave me another funny look.
“Honey, are you sure you’re okay?” She narrowed her eyes. “You’ve…well, you’ve never really had anything good to say about Damien before, you do realize that, don’t you?”
I sniffed. Tears came to my eyes for the first time, and I blinked them away.
“I’m fine,” I said. “This is just very stressful, and I don’t think Derek was being very fair to his brother.”
My mom sighed. “Honey, it’s not really your business to get between them,” she said softly. “I know this is hard. It’s hard for me, too.” She sighed and shuddered as fresh tears appeared in her eyes. “I just can’t deal with this on my own!”
I stood up. My legs felt like jelly as I walked across the room and sat down with Mom, rubbing her shoulder.
“I know, Mom,” I said. “But I promise, everything will be okay.”
Mom sighed. She rested her head on my shoulder. “You know I hate to burden you, sweetheart,” she said. “But this is all so much. I had no idea Jack was anything other than healthy as a horse! He plays racquetball every week!”
“I know,” I said. “But he’s under too much stress.” I swallowed, trying to think optimistically. “You know, maybe after this, he’ll finally listen to you about taking on a smaller role at work,” I said. “That would be for the best, wouldn’t it?”
“Oh, honey,” Mom said. She sighed again as she put her arm around me and pulled me close. “You’re all I have in the world, don’t you know that?”
I bit my lip, feeling guilty. I wanted to run after Damien – I wanted to find him and comfort him, tell him that I thought he was more than a loser and a cad.
But I knew I couldn’t leave Mom, at least not yet.
It felt like a century passed before Derek reappeared with a nurse in tow. He looked grim, but not hopeless.
“Mrs. Wilson?” The nurse greeted my mother. “May I have a word with you?”
My mom gestured to me. “This is my daughter, Emma,” she said. “You can say anything to me in front of her.”
The nurse nodded. “Your husband has suffered cardiac arrest, but he should recover completely,” she said softly. “And while I don’t want to be too optimistic, the doctors and I think that everything will be fine.”
My mom started sobbing again. She buried her face in my neck.
“I’m sorry,” I said to the nurse, who looked startled. “She’s just happy. She’s…very emotional.”
“Sorry,” Mom wailed, sitting up and blowing her nose with the same damp tissue. “I’m just relieved.”
The nurse smiled. “Good,” she said. “I’ll come back in a little while, and you can see him, would you like that?”
Mom nodded wordlessly. “Thank god,” she murmured after the nurse had trotted down the hall and left us alone. “I can’t believe he’s okay.”
I took Mom’s hand in mine and squeezed. “Everything’ll be okay,” I said. “I promise.”
I sighed, wishing more than ever that Damien would come back. Instead, I turned to Derek.
“Derek, I’m really sorry I lost my temper,” I said softly. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
Derek shrugged. “I’m sorry, too,” he said. By the sad look in his eyes, I could tell that he really meant it. “Emma, please forgive me.”
“It’s fine,” I said, ready to forget the mess. “Good news, yeah?”
Derek nodded. He narrowed his eyes. “Maybe Dad will finally listen to me about stepping back from some of his duties,” he said. “I’ve been trying to get him to give me more responsibility at Empire for years now.”
“Please,” Mom begged. “Please don’t let this happen again, Derek,” she said softly. “I love your father very much – I don’t want him to kill himself.”
“I know,” Derek said. He sighed. An intense note of sadness was in his dark eyes. Suddenly, I understood. Derek felt guilty – he felt like he was responsible for Jack’s heart attack.
“It’s not your fault,” I said, quietly, reaching for Derek’s hand.
He looked into my eyes and a shiver ran down my spine.
“I know,” Derek said. He sighed loudly. “I just…I wish I could internalize that.”
I gave him a small, hopeful smile. “It’ll be okay,” I said softly. “Your dad will make a complete recovery, and then you and my mom can make sure he doesn’t strain himself too much in the future.”
Derek nodded. He still looked as intense as ever. “I hope so,” he said quietly. “I really do, Emma.”
I stayed at the hospital for another hour, until Mom and Derek were allowed in to see Jack. He seemed awake – even irritated that he was held down by tires and tubes – but weak, and I waved as I walked past his room.
I felt a little guilty leaving the hospital, but I knew I had to find Damien.
But when I drove by the house, Damien wasn’t there. He wasn’t at his condo, either. And he wasn’t in any of the small bars around town. When I called, his phone went straight to voicemail.
I have to find him, I thought as I drove anxiously around. I felt it now, stronger than ever before – Damien’s pull on me, like the pull of the earth by the sun.
I didn’t care what happened to Jack. All I knew was that I was falling in love with Damien.