Over the next couple of weeks, things slowly returned to normal at home. Jack was able to come back from the hospital after four days, and Mom was overjoyed. She threw herself into cleaning and cooking, even dismissing the hired help just so she could personally make sure everything was perfect for the return of her perfect husband.
I’d expected Mom and Jack to fight over his work schedule, but to my surprise, he began to throttle things down. He was only going to the office once a week and delegating most of his work to Derek and Damien. So, when days passed with no word from either twin, even though I knew they had good reason to be busy, I still felt a little hurt.
I tried to keep busy with school, but the truth was that I couldn’t stop thinking about Damien and how I was obviously falling in love with him. Mom noticed something was up – she kept asking me what was wrong. Heck, even Jack noticed – he sat down next to me at the table when I was doing homework one afternoon and asked if there was something he could do.
It was hard lying to Mom, but lying to Jack was even harder. When the phone rang, I was relieved for an excuse to jump up from the table.
“I should get that,” I said breezily as I reached for the receiver. “Who knows, it might be someone from Empire for you!”
Jack rolled his eyes. “I hope not,” he said dryly. “I’m going to lie down.”
As soon as he was gone, I picked up the phone.
“Hello?”
“Em, it’s me – Derek,” Derek said. He sighed. “I feel bad, I’ve been so swamped at work that I haven’t had much time for myself. Are you free for dinner?”
I bit my lip, feeling guilty for wishing that it was Damien on the other end.
“Sure,” I said after a moment. “What should I wear?”
“I don’t know,” Derek said, sounding annoyed that I’d asked. “Just a dress, whatever.”
I frowned. “Okay.”
“I’ll pick you up at eight, Emma,” Derek said.
Just as I was about to say goodbye, he hung up. I stared at the receiver in my hand for a long time before returning it to the cradle. What was going on? Derek had sounded irritated – had he found out about Damien and me? I groaned – it wasn’t above Damien to taunt Derek about something like that. Not that I hoped he’d tattled, of course…I didn’t want anyone to know.
And I could never have anyone – especially Derek – know that I was falling in love with his twin brother.
I took a quick shower and changed into a loose sundress that was flattering on my wide curvy hips. After a light touch of mascara and lip gloss, I felt I looked okay. At eight on the dot, Derek pulled into the driveway and honked.
Great, I thought. I bet he’s in a terrible mood!
“Oh, that must be Damien outside,” Mom said, peeking through the kitchen curtains.
I rolled my eyes. “It’s actually Derek,” I said. “He’s taking me out to dinner.”
Mom narrowed her eyes and gave me a strange look. “Oh,” she said. “Well, isn’t that nice of him.” She frowned. “Still, it isn’t like Derek to just honk like that, you know,” she continued. “I bet he’s in a bad mood.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I had the same thought,” I said.
Mom gave me a hug and watched from the doorway as I walked down the drive and climbed into Derek’s car.
“Hi,” I said, twisting in my seat and buckling the belt safely over my wide hips. “How are you?”
Derek snorted. “I had a shitty day,” he said, shaking his head as he backed out of the driveway and drove down the street at an alarmingly fast pace.
“I can tell,” I said cautiously. “I don’t think you’ve ever honked before.”
Derek sighed. “Sorry,” he said. “This shit at work…ugh, it’s killing me, Emma,” he said, shaking his head and stomping on the gas. The car shot forward and we merged onto the highway.
“Where are we going?”
“I thought I could take you into the city,” Derek said, keeping his eyes firmly on the road. “You like that?”
“Yeah,” I said, looking out the window as we sped down the highway. The trees and grass passed in a fast green blur and my stomach rumbled with nausea.
Derek didn’t talk much. He drove like a madman – like Damien, almost – and by the time we got into the city, my palms were sweaty, and my heart was thumping anxiously in my chest.
Derek valet parked in front of a fancy Russian restaurant and went inside without opening my door. I frowned – I didn’t like this. Derek had been the sweet one, and I was starting to realize that he didn’t have the smirking charisma like Damien to pull off this new personality.
As soon as we were seated, Derek snapped his fingers in the air. “I want a fucking drink,” he said.
“We can get some wine,” I said, forcing myself to smile. Derek ordered a bottle of expensive red and threw the taste down his throat without even swishing. The sommelier didn’t look amused, but poured us two full glasses and then left the table without a word.
The silence was killing me. “So,” I said sweetly. “What happened at work?”
Derek groaned. “It’s too much,” he said. “I know Dad’s recovering, but I can’t handle this workload. And my piss-ant of a brother doesn’t even feel like helping.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Oh,” I said, gnawing on my lower lip. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s just too goddamned much, Emma,” Derek said angrily. His face was tomato-red, and he looked angry enough to kill someone.
“Well, let’s talk about something else,” I suggested. “Thank you for taking me out, by the way. I haven’t been here since I was a kid.”
“Yeah,” Derek said. “Me, neither.” He sighed moodily and poured half the glass of wine down his throat at once.
“It’s funny, you know,” I rambled on nervously. “I used to hate lamb – Mom would tease me about it – but I love it now, I guess it’s just one of those weird things!”
Derek glared at me. “Emma, I’m not a fan of talking just to fill the silence,” he said angrily. “If you have something to say, make it worthwhile.”
I sighed in frustration. “Look, I’m sorry,” I said. “I just…I don’t know. I still don’t know you very well, and it’s like your personality is totally different because you’re taking out your anger on me! And honestly, Derek, I don’t really think that’s fair.”
Derek looked at me for a long time before chuckling and shaking his head.
“You’re right,” he said. “I’m acting like a total heel, and you don’t deserve that.”
I forced a smile. “It’s okay,” I said, taking a sip of my wine. “Why not try talking about it, you know, but more calmly.”
Derek nodded and took a deep breath. “I know Dad is recuperating right now,” he said slowly. “But it’s taking a huge toll on me, and I have no idea how the hell I’m supposed to muddle my way through this. Empire just acquired two huge firms – in London and Sydney – and the time differences are driving me insane.”
“I can see how that would be really difficult,” I said kindly. “I don’t even know what time it is there right now.”
“Well, London is seven hours ahead, and Sydney is fourteen,” Derek said dryly. “So, you can figure it out, you math genius, you.”
I frowned. Somehow, it had never bothered me when Damien teased me about my lack of mathematic skills, but with Derek, I had the sense he wasn’t teasing.
“I’m sorry it’s been so difficult,” I said lamely. “I know it must be really taxing for you.”
Derek nodded. “You have no idea,” he said. “I’m really struggling, Emma.”
“I know,” I said.
“And Damien, that sonuvabitch, isn’t helping me at all,” Derek said. “He promised to take over the accounting department, but he’s only made four hires in the past week!”
I frowned. “That sounds like a lot,” I said.
“Well, it’s not,” Derek said. He snapped the menu open. “I just really want Dad to come back to the office.”
I bit my lip. “I don’t know if my mother would let him,” I said. “They were having all kinds of fights about that before he had the heart attack. And now, she’s worried he’ll have another one if he keeps working the same way he did.”
Derek was silent.
“And honestly, you shouldn’t be working so hard, either,” I said. “You know it’ll be hard on you in the future.”
Derek frowned. “What does that mean, Emma?”
I sighed. “Well, you know…when you decide to settle down and have a family,” I said lamely. “Your wife won’t like you working so much, and I’m sure you’ll want to spend as much time as possible with your children.”
Derek laughed, but it was a bitter sound. “I don’t know about any of that,” he said. “I wouldn’t be a good husband, and I damn well wouldn’t be a good father.”
I winced.
“Emma, it’s true,” Derek said. “I don’t have time for this, especially not if I have to run this stupid company for the rest of my life.”
The waiter came to the table, and I bit my lip, glad that I wouldn’t have to reply to such a loaded comment. Derek was staring at me, obviously waiting for me to say something, but I kept my lips locked firmly shut.
“Sir, are we ready to order?”
“We’ll both have the special – the duck with quail eggs and caviar – and another bottle of whatever this is,” Derek said, waving the wine bottle around in the air.
“Very good, sir,” the waiter said, bowing.
After he had walked away, Derek turned his gaze to me. “So, Emma, what were you going to say?”
I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I just…well, I don’t want you to sell yourself short. You’d make a good husband and father,” I added. “You’re compassionate and smart.”
Derek looked pleased. “Well, thank you,” he said. He stared at me until I flushed hot pink. “What about you, Emma? Do you want a family?”
Yes, I thought. But not with you.
“I think so,” I said. I bit my lip. “I don’t know – I’m still so young, it seems ridiculous to even think about that right now.”
Derek nodded and laughed. “I remember that feeling,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t know why, but it seems like my early twenties were forever ago.”
“Oh, that’s not true,” I said. “You’re not old – you’re not even thirty.”
Derek laughed, and this time it was genuine. “And you think thirty is old?” He laughed again, shaking his head. “Boy, is life going to come at you hard, Emma,” he added.
I frowned. Just as I was about to ask him what he’d meant, the waiter came by with two plates of delicious, sizzling food. I didn’t even like duck, but the roasted dark meat in front of me looked absolutely delicious.
Derek and I ate in silence. I was hungrier than I’d realized, and I tore into my duck, quail eggs, and caviar with reckless abandon. As I ate, I couldn’t help but sneak surreptitious peeks around the restaurant. Everyone was well-dressed and happy, laughing and drinking wine as they ate their ridiculously expensive entrees. The menu hadn’t even featured prices, and I had no idea how many hundreds Derek was going to wind up dropping on this meal.
When the check came, I felt full and lazy and a little sleepy. I yawned as Derek and I stood outside, waiting for the valet to return his expensive sports car.
Derek put his hand on my shoulder and tried to pull me close, but something inside of me stiffened, and I stood firm.
“What’s wrong?” Derek asked as the car pulled up in front of us. “Are you mad at me?”
“No,” I said honestly. “I’m not mad, I promise.”
Derek frowned. He opened the passenger door for me, and I climbed inside, conscious of his eyes on my backside as I made myself comfortable. As soon as Derek was behind the wheel, he drove from the restaurant and pulled into an alley where he pushed the car into park. He leaned across the seat and tried to kiss me, pressing his lips to mine.
The kiss felt stale, lifeless.
“Emma, come on,” Derek growled. He put his arms around my shoulders and pulled me close until the seat belt was cutting into the side of my neck. “What’s wrong?”
I tried, I really did. I closed my eyes and pressed my face to Derek’s, kissing him hotly. I kept waiting for the passion and lust to ignite in my belly. But instead of feeling aroused, I felt guilty and ashamed. Damien’s face popped into my mind, and I pulled away from Derek, shaking my head.
“Emma, what is it?” Derek asked. “I just paid like, four hundred dollars for two damn duck breasts!”
I narrowed my eyes and straightened up in my bucket seat. “And…you think that somehow entitles you to my breasts?”
Derek sighed. “Emma, I’m sorry, I don’t know. I just…I thought we had something going on,” he said, frowning at me. “What’s wrong?”
I felt helpless and trapped. “I…I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head and swallowing nervously. “We did have something going on.”
“And now it’s over? Did you meet someone?”
Tears welled up in my eyes, and I bit my lip to keep from crying. But when a sob hit me, I knew it was over. I buried my face in my hands as the tears streamed down my face.
“Emma!” Derek said. He sounded shocked. “What the hell is going on?”
I sighed and shuddered. “I…I’ve been sleeping with Damien,” I said quietly. “And I think I’ve fallen in love with him. I’m sorry, Derek, I can’t do this anymore. I still think you’re really hot…I just…”
Derek stared at me with his jaw hanging open. It was the least composed I’d ever seen him.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered quietly. “I didn’t want you to find this way.”
Derek didn’t move a muscle. He stared at me for what felt like an uncomfortably eternity. Finally, he clenched his jaw, and I saw his face turn red with anger.
“I can’t fucking believe this,” Derek growled. “You have got to be kidding me, Emma.”
“I wish I were,” I said softly, still sobbing. “I….”
“Shut up,” Derek growled. He pushed the gearshift into drive and shot out of the alley.
“Where are we going?” I asked fearfully. “Are you taking me home?”
A muscle in Derek’s jaw twitched. “No,” he growled. “And you don’t get to talk anymore, you get that?”
I flopped back against the seat, feeling guilty and massively relieved all at once. What I’d said to Derek hadn’t been an exaggeration – I hadn’t wanted him to find, at least, not from me. But somehow, now that I’d admitted everything, I felt strangely at peace. I don’t have to hide anymore, I thought with relief as I stared out the window. Darkness had fallen, and now we were whizzing through New Jersey at an alarming rate.
When Derek missed the exit for Mom and Jack’s house, I knew that he wasn’t taking me home. My stomach twisted and churned with anxiety as Derek sped through the darkness. Suddenly, a panicked thought entered my brain: what if Derek was going to tell them, my parents?
I shivered. Just as I was about to hesitantly ask where we were going, Derek pulled into a driveway. I watched his headlights bounced across a familiar driveway.
“You brought me over to Damien’s?” I asked angrily. “Really, Derek?”
“Shut up,” Derek growled. “I told you, you don’t get to talk.” He parked the car and viciously yanked the keys out of the ignition. “Come on, Emma, we’re going inside.”
Reluctantly, I climbed out of the car and followed Derek up the steps. Damien lived in a luxury condominium complex – I’d only been to his place once or twice in the past, usually with Mom when we were picking up something that Jack needed. It was the first time I’d be inside Damien’s home without either Mom or Jack.
“And Emma, I want to make this very clear,” Derek said, lowering his voice when we were almost to the front door. “He’s probably in there with another woman. You sure you feel like you love him?”
Derek’s words stung, but I knew they likely weren’t untrue.
“Yes,” I said. “I feel the same.”
Derek rolled his eyes. “You’re hopeless,” he said. “I can’t believe you, Emma. You really are stupid, and immature.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Just because I don’t want you doesn’t mean I’m stupid,” I shot back. “You can be a real jerk, you know that?”
Derek shook his head. “Whatever,” he mumbled. Then he knocked loudly on the door. “Damien!” Derek yelled. “Get your ass out here!”
Seconds later, I heard heavy footsteps, and the door swung open. When Damien saw me, he narrowed his eyes.
“What the fuck is going on,” Damien asked. “Why are you here?”
Derek shoved Damien in the chest, and he staggered backward, grabbing hold of the wall so he wouldn’t fall. Then Derek grabbed my wrist and yanked me inside, kicking the door shut behind him.
“Hey,” Damien said angrily. “I have neighbors, remember?”
Derek rolled his eyes. “Oh, you’re just the angel of consideration,” he said sarcastically.
“Why are you here?” Damien repeated, crossing his arms over his chest. “Because I don’t have time for another temper tantrum, Derek. I’m busy.”
“With what? Some bimbo in your bedroom?”
“With work, asshole,” Damien growled.
Derek rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right,” he said. “I bet you don’t even know what that word means.”
By the angry gleam in his eye, I expected Damien to punch Derek. Instead, he shrugged and sighed.
“I won’t do this with you, not right now, not with her here,” Damien said. “Stop being a child, Derek.”
“Fine,” Derek said. He turned to me. “Emma, why don’t you tell him why we’re here?”
My cheeks flamed bright red, and fresh tears welled in my eyes. Damien caught my eye and stared at me for a long time. Then he chuckled under his breath.
“Emma, don’t say anything,” Damien said gently. “I think I can guess exactly what my younger brother is doing here.”
“Oh?” Derek asked sarcastically, crossing his arms over his lean chest. “Really, now?”
“Yeah,” Damien said. “Emma must have told you that she and I have been seeing each other for the past few weeks.”
Derek did a double-take.
“And I’m guessing you slept with her, maybe once or twice,” Damien continued. “And now she doesn’t want you anymore because she wants me instead.”
Derek growled under his breath. “Fuck you,” he snarled.
Damien laughed. “Man, chill out. I could practically read your mind as soon as you stomped in here.” He turned to me. “Emma, is that what happened?”
I nodded as a tear ran down my cheek.
“I wanna fight you,” Derek growled. “I want to fight you for her!”
Damien laughed again. “Don’t be a child,” he said. “She made her choice.”
Derek threw a powerful punch but Damien darted to the side, and Derek’s fist landed on the wall, shattering the plaster and forming a large hole.
“Are you done yet?” Damien asked calmly. He crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head to the side. “And before you leave, you can write me a check for the damage.”
Derek glared. “I hate you,” he said under his breath. “You’re a real pig, you know that?”
Damien shrugged. “Like I said, the lady made her choice,” he said.
Derek stared at Damien for a long time before shifting his gaze to me and groaning in disgust. I watched as he turned on his heel and slumped out of Damien’s condo, slamming the door behind him. When he was gone, I was afraid to look at Damien.
“Emma,” Damien said quietly. “Are you all right?”
I nodded. “I think so,” I said softly. Biting my lip, I looked up into his gorgeous eyes. “Do you want me to go, too?”
Damien shook his head. He put an arm around me and pulled me close. “No,” Damien whispered into my ear before pulling me close and kissing me. “I want you to stay.”