Zachary and I walk into an empty conference room near the ballroom. There is a huge picture window that looks out over the ocean, and for a moment, it is almost soothing. I forget why we are in the room, at least until Zachary takes my hand and kisses the top of it. I pull away and shrink back, and he looks hurt.
“Ava, what is going on? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me if I did. I’d like to make it right if I did something to hurt or offend you.” He reaches into his pocket and puts on his glasses as if he’s about to solve a business problem. I wish it were that simple.
“Zachary, I need to ask you some questions. I need to…”
The words are getting stuck in my throat, and I am having trouble figuring out where to start. Zachary sits on the edge of the conference table and crosses his legs at the ankle, giving me a very serious stare.
“Let’s approach it like a contract. Start with what you need, then we’ll figure out how to get it. One step at a time. Couldn’t be simpler.” He seems calm and organized, but I can see a slight twitch in eye brow that tells me he’s just as nervous as I am.
“I need you to tell me something. Tell me the truth. About something really important.”
Zachary nods. “Well, that’s certainly easy enough. I would never lie to you about anything, and never lied to you about anything before. As a wise man once said, when you tell the truth, you never have anything to remember. So, what is it you need to know.”
I take a long, slow breath, then let it out, hoping it will provide me some courage. It doesn’t work. But there is no stopping now.
“I need you to tell me how you know my sister.”
Zachary leans forward, surveying me. “Your sister? I don’t know your sister. I didn’t even know you had a sister. Your last name is Webber, correct? I don’t believe I know anyone else with that last name. Does she have a different name than you?”
I have trouble hiding a scowl. Why is he lying to me?
“Josie. Her name was Josie Webber.”
His arms, which were crossed over his chest, drop to his side. His face transforms from an affable confusion to a totally blank slate that I can’t read at all. It makes me completely uncomfortable. This time, when he speaks, his jaw barely moves.
“Josie is your sister? Red hair? Tall? Curves like yours?”
“That’s her. And was. Josie was my sister. She died in a car accident about six months ago.”
Zachary’s face collapses. He looks more devastated than I expected him to be, and I’m sure I’m not doing a great job of hiding my surprise. But then, his eyes go wide.
“Wait, why didn’t you tell me all this before? Why didn’t you tell me you were Josie’s sister when you applied for the internship?”
I inch a little further away from him, but I don’t know why. It’s not like he’ll attack me, but I’m afraid the fire of whatever rage is going to feel might explode outward and burn me alive.
“Because… Josie said it was your fault that she had the accident. That you cheated on her. And she was so upset, she…”
I was right to step away. Zachary leaps forward to his, his face bright red and contorted in a combination of confusion and pure anger.
“What the hell are you talking about? Cheated on her? When did she… How? What the hell are you saying to me right now, Ava?”
“Before she died, in the hospital. She said you were her boyfriend, and that you had slept with someone else. And then, a few days ago, I found her diary, and it said something similar. She said so many things about you Zachary, and I thought I knew what was true, I thought I knew who you were. But now that I’ve met you, that we’ve… I don’t know anything anymore.”
Zachary starts stalking back and forth, his usual calm demeanor long gone and replaced with a perplexed anger. I don’t try and do anything to stop him; I just let him walk until he seems to come to some sort of conclusion. And based on the look on his face, I’m not going to like anything I’m about to hear.
“So, let me get this straight. You applied for a job with me thinking that I was responsible for your sister’s death. With the intention of what? And… oh my god, Ava. Why did you sleep with me? What the hell are you up to?” he asks as he keeps pacing across the room.
I shrink back again. You have to keep going. You have to tell him the truth. You can’t be honest in half-steps.
“I wanted to get you to fall for me, so I could hurt you like you hurt Josie,” I whisper.
Zachary stops in front of me. There is nothing in his eyes anymore but total heartbreak, and I feel it too because I know how badly I’ve hurt him.
“You what? How could you do that? You could have just fucking talked to me, Ava. Told me the truth. And instead, you have sex with me? To get me to fall in love with you? You don’t know anything about me. How could you be so heartless?”
I want to reach out and hold him, but I know any touch from me would be met with coldness. Rightfully so, I just keep standing there in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do with my hands or all of the tears that are threatening to choke me alive.
“I didn’t know, Zachary! I still don’t! All I knew was what Josie told me, and you’re still not telling me anything! Yes, I came to you with deceptions and the intention of breaking your heart. But I ended up falling in love with you. And now I’m the one who’ll get hurt. Maybe that’s what I deserve, but I still don’t know the truth. About Josie. About you. About you and Josie. And I don’t know what to believe anymore. Please try to see things from my perspective. Just for a minute.”
Zachary just stares at me. There is nothing in his eyes but sadness and bewilderment. And I feel miserable because I know I am responsible for all of it. He runs his hands through his hair with a long, weary sigh and starts for the door. I reach out and grab his arm, not caring if he doesn’t want me to touch him.
“Please, Zach. Just wait. Don’t go. Not like this. I just need you to tell me what happened between you and Josie. Why did she believe what she believed? Just… tell me.” There is panic in my voice, and I have no interest in hiding it anymore. But Zachary shakes me off of him.
“What is there for me to tell you, Ava? You seem to have everything figured out. If you really cared about the truth, you would have talked to me when you first showed up at my office. What does anything else matter now?”
And then, he is gone. He walks around the corner and disappears into the hotel, leaving me standing in the conference room alone. I feel like I’m about to explode into tears, and I have no idea what to do. The last thing I want to do is bother Bethany with any of this; she has more than enough on her mind. So, I do the only thing I can.
I borrow a phone from the front desk and call Liza.
* * *
“You did what?”
I can hear the chaos of the diner behind Liza as she shouts into the phone. Her manager had to call her in from her shift outside where she was roller-skating orders to cars, and he wasn’t too pleased about it. But if I didn’t talk to Liza immediately, there was no way I was going to survive the rest of the trip.
“You’ll have to be more specific, Liza. Are you referring to the telling him the truth or the sleeping with him?”
Liza snorts. “Both!... Gunther, I swear man, I’m on my break. If you don’t get out of my space… Sorry, Gunther is an ass. Why would you sleep with him? I thought you were just going to lead him on and then drop him?”
“Hell, Liza, I don’t know,” I whisper. But she knows me better than anyone else in the world, and the sound of her sucking in her breath means she sees right through me, even from thousands of miles away.
“Girl! Did you catch feelings for this guy?”
I groan. “I don’t know! Maybe! Yes. I did. I think I told him I loved him.” I cringe as I grab a handful of sand and throw it toward the ocean as if a mild act of defiance will solve anything at all.
“Ava, you are insane. I’m not saying I approved of your original plan. You know I didn’t. I think it was stupid and you should have just let it frigging go…”
I sigh. “Yes, Liza. You’ve said this half-dozen times.”
“Well, it bears repeating. But the fact that you went and fell for him? That’s just bananas. And did he tell you anything? About how he knows Josie?”
My stomach drops, practically to my feet, and I wish I could crawl into the ocean. “He didn’t say a word. Which makes me think that maybe Josie was telling the truth? But he also made it sound like I was wrong for making assumptions about him. I literally have no idea what to think. Part of me believes Josie. I feel like I have to because she’s my sister. But another part of me, an even bigger part of me, thinks something about her story was off, and maybe Zachary isn’t the guy she made him out to be.”
I hear Liza shooing someone again and yelling “fifteen minutes, Gunther” at the top of her already loud voice. “Ava, the only way you’ll know the truth is to talk to him.”
“Oh, god. I’ll be surprised if he ever talks to me again. I don’t know how we’ll finish out this weekend. I mean, he’d be well within his rights to fire me the next time he sees me. I lied to get the internship. Sort of, anyway.”
“You didn’t technically lie about anything,” Liza responds thoughtfully. “And he can’t fire you for sleeping with him because that’s a two-way street. At the very least, you should have time to corner him and talk this mess out. I mean, yeah, you did something pretty shady. But for Josie’s sake, he owes you some sort of explanation. And maybe you can frame it that way? Just tell him how much she meant to you. And that he can fire you if he wants, and never speak to you again, but all you want is the truth before you go.”
My heart aches at the thought of never seeing Zachary again, but I know Liza is right.
“Okay, yes. You’re right. I know you’re right. I’ll talk to him tonight. Thanks, Liza. I love you.”
I hear a bell in the background and Liza grumbles. “Love you, too. Must go. Gunther is extremely angry. I’ll see you when you get back!” With that, she hangs up, and I’m left sitting on the beach, marveling at my own stupidity. How could I have ever believed that this would have worked out well? That this was a fool-proof plan? I obviously never imagined that I’d fall in love with Zachary, or even end up liking him, but I should have known it wouldn’t be as simple as tricking him into liking me, getting my answers, and then running away.
As I look out over the gorgeous teal water, I think about Josie, and Bethany, and all of the horrible things they both went through. I think about the different ways they faced problems, and what lead them to where they are now. I wonder at Bethany for being so strong, and I cry for my sister for feeling so alone in her final hours. And as I wipe the tears from my eyes, I make a decision.
I have to be strong for both of them.