Chapter 28
“I really don’t want to go,” I admitted to Abraham, breaking the silence between us on the roof of his lodge.
He shrugged, his eyes bright. “Then stay.”
“It’s not that simple.”
Abraham sat up straighter. “Listen, I know you can’t just stay here and never go back to Raleigh. You have a career and a home out there. But what if you got a job out here? What if we packed up your apartment and moved it all to the lodge? What if you never had to leave me again?”
I had a hundred arguments just sitting on my tongue, but they shriveled up and died with his last statement. He hadn’t asked me to stay in Asheville for my pack or my new friends. He’d asked me to stay for him.
I didn’t want to deny him. It was the very last thing I wanted to do. But, just like exploring and admitting the depths of my feelings for him, I wasn’t ready for this.
I shook my head. “Abraham, I can’t do that. Not yet.”
He huffed out a breath. “Why not? I know you want to be with me. I know you feel better when I’m near just like I do. I know you like it out here and you have friends and your pack behind you. So, why can’t you commit to us? To me?”
My heart withered inside my chest. “Is that what you think? That I don’t want to commit to you?”
He shook his head, his eyes conveying the hurt he was trying to hide. “I don’t know what to think.”
I wrapped one arm around the back of his neck and cupped his cheek with the other. “Abraham, for most of my life, I was under my parent’s thumb. I had to do what they said when they said because they had all the control. My life wasn’t my own. When I got that apartment in Raleigh, it was the first time I’d done something for myself. It was my money and my decision, and I didn’t have to answer to anyone. Now, you’re asking me to give up all that I fought so hard for.”
Abraham watched me for a long moment, his eyes searching mine. Finally, he sighed. “I don’t want to take away your freedom or your choices like your parents did. I just want to be with you. Simple as that.”
And I knew for him, it was.
But there was so much more to it for me. Judging by his disgruntled look, he was starting to understand that.
I ran my fingers against his stubbled face. “You’ll see me soon. I’ll be back Friday night.”
Abraham turned his head and kissed my palm. “I thought I was supposed to come to you this weekend.”
I shrug. “I figured I could get some more training sessions in with Beatrice while I’m here. Although, after tonight, I’m not sure I really want to work with her anymore.”
Abraham’s sigh was so large, his chest bumped against me. “Tonight, was a mess,” he admitted.
I tucked my head under his chin. “What am I gonna do? Everyone hates me now.”
Abraham rubbed his big hand from the top of my head to the base of my spine. “No one hates you.”
“Of course, they do. Your sisters will never trust me again, Nana probably wants you to break up with me, and who even knows what Calvin and Clyde are thinking? Or what will happen when the rest of the pack finds out.” That thought stirred the panic deep inside me. “Oh my God, Abraham, what’s going to happen when the whole pack knows? They’ll vote to kick me out. I’ll never be able to come back here.” The anxious thoughts were stacking up one on top of the other until I could barely see past them.
Abraham pulled my shoulders back until he could look me in the eyes. “El, stop. We’ll explain it all to them like you explained it to me. Believe me, most of the wolves in this pack have done much worse, they were just lucky enough to not get caught.”
“What if they don’t believe me? What if they don’t understand?”
He leaned forward and pressed a kiss on my temple. “We’ll make them believe you. We’ll make them understand.”
How did he always do that? Take a complicated issue and simplify it until it seemed so easy to overcome.
I sighed. “I hope you’re right.”
“I am. You’ll see.” He lifted me to my feet and stood up behind me. “Let’s go talk to my sisters now. If we’re lucky, we can get ahead of the gossip and have much less to explain.”
He reached out and grabbed my hand and just that small gesture calmed my tumultuous thoughts. Knowing he’s on my side and ready to defend me makes me feel just the tiniest bit braver.
We walked in silence down the stairs, but my thoughts were anything but. I didn’t know what to expect when we came face to face with his family again. Would they give me a chance to explain? Would they want to hear from me at all? Or have they already turned their backs on me like so many others have?
With a heavy heart and heavier feet, I trudged beside Abraham into the dining room where everything had gone down. I thought I’d find an angry mob of werewolves, but that wasn’t the case at all.
Seconds after stepping through the doorway, Evey launched herself into my arms and squeezed me tight. “I’m so sorry Peyton did that to you. We told her off if it makes you feel any better.”
“And we saw the court documents,” Callie piped up from the table where she sat with Del and Nana. I didn’t know where Beatrice, Peyton, Calvin, and Clyde had gone, but I preferred it this way. It would be way too hard to explain myself to a room full of people.
I frowned over Evey’s shoulder. “How did you get the court documents?”
Del stood up from her seat, hands fisted on her hips. “We made Peyton go get them after you left. We wanted to see for ourselves what she was talking about.”
Here it was. The moment when I’d find out if my new friends would give me the courtesy of explaining or if they’d already written me off. The fact that Evey was still practically draped across me was a good sign, but I always knew she would be the easiest to convince.
I took a deep breath and stepped away from her. “I can explain,” I said softly.
Nana stood then and placed both hands on the table in front of her. “There’s no need, dear. We read the report. We know that you were only charged with involuntary manslaughter but not convicted. And we know you didn’t mean to harm that man.”
My chest felt like it was caving in and I was having trouble breathing.
They didn’t want an explanation? They didn’t need me to prove myself to them?
I’d never had this kind of support before. And judging by the look in every eye here, I knew I really didn’t have to explain myself.
But, I still wanted to.
“Thanks, Nana. That really means a lot to me. But there’re things that happened that night that aren’t in the court documents that I think you guys should know.”
Nana nodded and reclaimed her seat. “If you want to get somethin’ off your chest, we’re listenin’. But know that no matter what, we’re behind you.”
My nose burned instantly with tears and my breath caught in my throat.
How could this be? Why were they so understanding? Why were they taking my word for it before even hearing my side? Is this what family was really like? This unwavering loyalty and blind faith.
I didn’t know. I’d never felt any support from my family. Only expectations and later, disappointment. I didn’t know what to do with the emotions tearing through me, so I took a shaky step forward and collapsed onto one of the dining room chairs.
“Thank you, Nana,” I whispered before clearing my throat and trying again. “I don’t know what you’ve read in the documents, but I’ll give you my side and you all can be the judge.”
The four women nodded their heads solemnly and gave me their full attention as I recalled the story I’d just told Abraham. When I was done, I realized that not a single one of their expressions had changed.
“We figured there had to have been someone else there with you,” Callie said softly.
I turned to her. “How?”
She slid a packet of papers across the table toward me. “We didn’t think you could have caused that much destruction on your own. I can’t believe the cops hadn’t pressed you for his name. They even found a second set of fingerprints and never pursued that lead.”
I shrugged. “They were happy to pin the crime on someone. It didn’t really seem like it mattered who.”
Del shook her head angrily. “That’s so unfair, Ellie. I’m sorry that happened to you.”
I shrugged again and looked down at the table, overcome with emotion at their solidarity.
“The worst part is what happened after all that,” Abraham spoke up from beside me. I turned to look at his questioning gaze. “Do you want to tell them?” he asked.
I shook my head. “You can.”
Abraham launched into the second half of my story about how my parents practically disowned me and sent me away to boarding school. I kept my head down while he spoke but didn’t miss the small gasps and sympathetic sounds the women made.
When he was done, a voice spoke up from behind us.
“I had no idea.”
I whipped around to find Beatrice standing in the doorway looking shocked. Remembering how happy she’d been to hear Peyton reveal my sordid past, I rolled my eyes and scoffed.
“How would you know, Beatrice? You never asked, you just assumed.” I shook my head as every interaction I’d had with her flipped through my mind.
How she didn’t want me here to begin with. How she was counting on me not making it through my first shift. How she made each training session more unbearable than the last.
And finally, I’d had enough.
I pushed my chair back and turned to face her. “You’ve always assumed the worst when it comes to me. You never even gave me a chance. You’ve been a miserable bitch from the moment I met you and I’m not putting up with it anymore. If you want to take my past and use it to tarnish my future with this pack, go ahead. I have all the support I need right here in this room. And that doesn’t include you.”
I was breathing heavy by then, my fists clenched at my sides to hide the trembling in my limbs.
I expected Beatrice to lash out at me. She wasn’t one for holding her tongue and I’d never seen anyone speak to her the way I just had.
But, she surprised me.
Instead of fighting back, she lowered her eyes to the ground and sighed. “You’re right.”
Huh?
I shook my head, sure my hearing must be off. But then she said it again, this time louder.
“You’re right. I never gave you a chance, and that was unfair of me. I… don’t do well with change.” Someone behind me snorted, but we both ignored them. “I saw you as the biggest change in my life in over ten years and I hated every bit of it.”
She looked up at me, her icy blue eyes the kindest I’d ever seen them. “I thought it would be funny to invite Peyton to dinner tonight because I know how much you hate her. And when she told me she had dirt on you, I thought it was a great idea for her to expose you in front of everyone. But, listening to Peyton tear you down like that didn’t bring me the joy I thought it would.”
So, she orchestrated this whole night. I can’t say that I’m surprised by that revelation. She hadn’t been subtle in her dislike of me. But the Beatrice standing before me wasn’t the same woman I’d come to know. She was softer somehow, gentler and more relaxed than I’d ever seen her.
Beatrice sighed. “When she called you a murderer, it made me angry.”
What was going on right now?
“I wanted to protect you as badly as I’ve ever wanted to protect anyone else in my family. I hated what she said, and I saw how much it upset you and I hated that too.”
I was speechless. My tongue completely useless as I stared at her slack-jawed.
She took a deep breath and a small step forward. “I’m sorry, Elizabeth. If I had known, I would have stopped her. That wasn’t fair to you and I won’t let it happen again. You’re our family now and we always protect one another.”
Words were still failing me. I’d never seen Beatrice like this. Never seen her so open and honest and nice. It felt like I was meeting her for the first time. The real her. Not the hard, bitchy front she put on as the beta of this pack. But the woman who loved and protected her family above all else. And, apparently, that now extended to me.
Finally, I found my words. “Thank you, Beatrice.” It wasn’t much, but it was all I could come up with in light of what had happened tonight.
She smiled.
At me.
“Call me Bea.”
A small chuckle fell from my lips as I shook my head. “Okay, but only if you call me Ellie.”
“I can do that.”
“I knew that nickname would stick!” Evey yelled from behind us, breaking the tense moment and injecting a bit of mirth into the dreary room.
I shot her a wink. “It’s growing on me.”
She beamed back, and I couldn’t help returning her joyful smile.
“I told Peyton to keep her mouth shut about this, by the way,” Bea added.
I turned toward her again. “I appreciate that, but I don’t have much faith she’ll listen to you.”
Bea sighed heavily. “Neither do I. But we’ll make sure to set anyone straight if we hear them talking about it while you’re gone.”
“I appreciate that, too.”
She shrugged. “It’s the least I can do.”
My brain was stuck on one fact though. “How did she get that report, anyway? My record was supposed to be sealed because I was a minor at the time.”
“Her brother, Paul, works for the local police. I’m sure he had a hand in uncovering that for her.”
Well, that was unsettling, but it made sense. Peyton wasn’t resourceful enough to get something like that on her own.
Wyatt chose that time to step into the dining room with his backpack slung over his shoulder. He took in the quiet room before raising a brow at me. “Is this a bad time?”
It wasn’t fair, but I wasn’t happy at all to see him. His presence meant my weekend was over. It was time to get back to Raleigh and sludge through another work week.
I turned toward the room full of my family and felt a ball of dread form in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t want to leave here. Leave them. It was getting harder and harder to come up with reasons why I needed to go back to Raleigh when there were so many to stay.
I looked up at Abraham and saw my despair mirrored in his denim blue eyes. It was bad enough I was hurting myself, but it was unforgiveable that I was hurting Abraham.
I’d need to come to a decision soon. I couldn’t keep living this split life between the two cities. Something had to give, and it couldn’t be my relationship with Abraham. I wouldn’t survive that.