Chapter 29
It was late when Wyatt and I finally got to my apartment in Raleigh. Usually we’d leave much earlier in the day, but with Abraham’s grandma coming for dinner and the disaster that had been, we got a late start.
I stepped through my front door and stood there for a moment.
Something felt different.
I quickly looked around to make sure nothing was missing, but everything seemed to be where they belonged. Setting Charlie’s carrier down, I opened the door and let him out. He stretched his little body once before looking around the space a lot like I was.
He must have noticed it too.
Or maybe he was just wasn’t used to my apartment after spending the week at the vet and then so much time at the lodge.
Thankfully, he seemed to recover pretty quickly because he lifted his little nose into the air for a sniff and then took off for his favorite purple cat tree.
I was still standing by the doorway when Wyatt walked in carrying the rest of our bags. He stopped short when he saw me taking in the apartment, his shoulders instantly tensing and his eyes sharp.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, his deep voice barely disrupting the quiet in the apartment.
I shook my head. “Nothing I think.”
He turned to look me up and down. “Then why are you still standing here?”
I rolled my eyes and stepped out of his way. Wyatt was a taciturn man. I needed to remind myself of that in situations like this.
“Does it feel different in here?” I asked.
He scanned the rooms he could see from the front door and raised his nose in the air to sniff, a lot like Charlie had done. Once his eyes had perused the bright pink couch, my hanging strings of beads in the hallway, and my colorful tapestries on the walls, he shrugged.
“Looks and smells the same to me.”
I shrugged back and picked up my suitcase to bring into my room. If he couldn’t sense anything different about the apartment, it must be me. Maybe I was what was different.
And now that I thought about it, there might have been a little spring to my step that wasn’t there before. Maybe my shoulders felt a bit lighter than usual.
Was that what coming clean felt like?
Is this how people feel when they’re not hiding a deep and dark secret from everyone they know?
Or is this something else?
A lot happened this weekend, and I’d hardly had time to categorize it all, let alone process it. The biggest change hadn’t been my past being divulged, although that was a close second. The single event that stuck out most in my mind now, the one moment I relived as often as my thoughts would allow was the first time Abraham told me he loved me.
Even now, butterflies raced around my stomach and careened through my chest.
He loved me.
Despite how hard I’d been on him in the beginning, despite the fact that I’d been born a human, despite my sordid past, he loved me.
The feeling was as overwhelming as it was comforting.
I’d never felt this before.
I think this was what they called unconditional love. A love that had no boundaries, that made little sense, but just was. That’s what Abraham had been trying to make me see all weekend. That he’d love me anyway, no matter what.
I didn’t know what I’d ever done to deserve such a gift, but I knew I’d cherish it.
Just then, my phone rang in my pocket and I pulled it out with a smile, already knowing who’d be on the other end.
“Hello?”
“El,” he greeted. Just two letters, only one syllable, but it was enough to send those butterflies into overdrive.
“Hi,” I said shyly.
“Hey, baby, you get home safe?”
I sighed. Why did him calling me baby do such crazy things to my insides? “Yeah, we just got here.”
“No traffic?”
“Nope. Everything about the drive was smooth except for the destination.”
He paused for a moment. “What do you mean?”
I sighed and fell backward onto my rainbow zebra striped bedspread. “I just don’t really want to be here.”
He sighed heavily through the phone. “I don’t want you there either, El.”
I rolled over onto my stomach. “If I was with you, what would we be doing?”
“I’d be holding you.” He answered without a single ounce of hesitation.
I frowned.
I’d been expecting a sexy answer. Something like I’d be undressing you or you’d be underneath me. His answer threw me for a loop.
“Holding me?” I asked.
“That’s all I want to do right now,” he confessed, his voice deep and serious. “After everything that happened today, after everything you had to relive and retell to me and my family, all I want to do is hold you and make sure you know everything’s all right. It killed me to see you leave.”
My nose was instantly tingling with unshed tears.
I sniffed. “It killed me to leave,” I admitted.
He sighed through the line again. “How much longer do we have to do this?” he asked quietly. He was toeing the line instead of steamrolling over it. I knew that was because of me. He had obviously learned by now that Elizabeth Montgomery didn’t take kindly to steamrolling.
It was my turn to sigh. “I don’t know.”
There were a million more things I wanted to say, but that was all I could come up with. What I was thinking was that I didn’t know if I could do this much longer. Even now, I felt the fatigue from being away from him setting in. I didn’t know if it was the few hours we’d spent apart, or the distance between us, but it was there.
And worse, I knew it was hurting him too.
If it was just me who had to deal with the pain of our separation, I’d suck it up and bear it. But being the cause of his discomfort hurt me more than anything else could.
He was silent for a long time, and I wasn’t sure if he was waiting for me to say more or trying to gather his own thoughts.
Finally, I broke the silence. There was something I’d been thinking about during the ride out here and I couldn’t wait any longer to tell him. I just wasn’t sure how he was going to react. Would it be enough for him for now? Or would it be too little too late?
“I’m gonna start looking for a new job,” I blurted into the silent phone line.
There a brief pause before he spoke. “Oh?”
I frowned. That’s not exactly the reaction I’d been expecting.
So, I hurried on with my explanation. “It might take a while, but I figured I could start looking into some law offices around Asheville. I know it’s not as big as Raleigh, but I should be able to find something. It might take a while though.” I realized I was repeating myself, but my nerves were clouding my brain and making it difficult to form complete, unique sentences.
Had he changed his mind already?
Did he not really want me to move out there?
“Wait.”
His words disrupted the downward spiral my mind was taking, and I grabbed onto each letter he spoke like a lifeline.
“You’re looking for jobs out here?”
I swallowed harshly. “That’s what I was thinking.” I waited a single second before word vomiting. “I don’t have to start looking now. And even if I did, it’ll probably take a while to find something. I can wait though if you want. It’s not a big deal at all. It’s just something I was thinking about on the drive, and I thought I would run past you but obviously you think it’s a bad idea, so I’ll just shelve it for now. If–”
“El,” he practically yelled to be heard over my rambling.
I closed my eyes like he was in front of me and I couldn’t bear to watch his reaction. Like it would protect me from his next words.
“Are you serious?”
I peeked an eye open. “About what, exactly?”
He sighed. “I’m hanging up. I need to see your face.”
I heard the click of him ending the call and seconds later, I had an incoming video request. When I answered, his handsome face was lit up by the soft glow of a lamp and his eyes were bright.
“You’re really looking for jobs out here?” he asked softly, almost hesitantly.
I nodded once. “I was thinking about it. If you think it’s a good idea. If you don’t–”
“El,” he stopped my rambling again, and I silently thanked him.
My mouth was running out-of-control right now and his voice was the only thing that could stop it.
“I wish you were here right now,” he said.
“Why?”
He smiled wide. “So, I could kiss the shit out of you.”
I threw my head back laughing, almost giddy with relief.
He still wanted me.
Despite everything.
“So, you think it’s a good idea?” I asked, my smile still firmly planted on my face.
He shook his head. “I think it’s a phenomenal fucking idea.”
Abraham didn’t curse often, but when he did, I knew it was because he was feeling passionate about something and it sent a tiny thrill through my veins every time.
My smile was so wide, my cheeks were starting to hurt. “Okay, I’ll start looking tomorrow.”
“I can’t wait. Baby, this is the best news I’ve heard all day.”
“Glad I could help.”
He sighed and shook his head. “You have no idea what you do to me.”
My smile slowly faded from my face at his serious words. I cleared my throat. “It’s the same for me, Abraham.”
His eyes pierced through me, even from hundreds of miles away, and even through a screen. This man moved me.
“I love you,” he said. The words as crystal clear as the color of his eyes.
They sent a kind of warmth through me that I’d only ever felt from him. They filled the cracks in my soul and covered up the bruises I’d harbored since I was young. He made me feel whole and alive in a way I’d never felt before.
I sighed. “Thank you for loving me.”
As the words fell from my lips, I couldn’t help cringing. They weren’t what he was looking for. Not what he deserved at all, and yet, it was all I could offer right now. I just hoped it was enough.
I held my breath as I waited for Abraham to respond. And when he finally did, it soothed my frazzled nerves and calmed the dissent in my head.
“Always.”
It was simple and to the point and so Abraham that I couldn’t help the big smile that spread across my face. But soon, a yawn worked its way up my throat and despite trying to hide it from him, I knew his sharp eyes caught everything.
“You’re tired, babe. You should get to sleep.”
A few weeks ago, a suggestion like that would have instantly raised my hackles. I wasn’t used to being told what to do, no matter how well meaning it was. But now things were so different. I knew his words came from a place of love. He didn’t want to boss me around, he just cared for me. That used to be a foreign concept in my life, but these days, it was almost commonplace.
“Yeah, so should you.”
Abraham pulled the phone away from his face enough, so I could see his bare chest and the headboard behind him.
“I’m already in bed.”
My mouth watered as my eyes drank in every inch of skin he’d revealed to me. I swallowed harshly. “Suddenly I’m not so tired anymore.”
He laughed, the sound rich and soothing. “You missin’ me already, baby?” he cooed.
“I don’t think I’ll ever have enough of you,” I admitted.
His eyes gleamed. “Good. Now take your shirt off.”
My stomach flipped violently. “Wh-what?” I stuttered.
His lips tilted into a smirk. “You heard me. Take it off.”
I took a peek at my bedroom door and noticed it was open. I jumped off the bed and poked my head out the door but saw no sign of Wyatt. He must have already gone to bed.
Feeling almost dizzy with anticipation, I shut and locked my door, whipped off my t-shirt and laid back down on the bed.
“Okay,” I said breathlessly. “My shirt’s off.”
An approving sound rumbled in his chest. “Let me see.”
I took a deep breath and pulled the phone away from my face, so he could see the black lace bra I had on. Another deep sound rumbled through his chest and I felt it all the way to my toes.
“Now the bra.”
I quickly followed his directions and slid my bra off my shoulders.
“Are your nipples hard?” he asked.
Heat rushed to my face, but I nodded.
His eyes were bright when he spoke his next demand. “Touch them.”
“Abe,” I whispered.
“Touch them like you want me to touch them,” he said, his voice so deep and commanding, I couldn’t do anything but heed him.
I reached down and squeezed one of my hardened nubs between my fingers. The sensation was sharp, pulsating out to all my extremities.
“Does it feel good?”
I nodded quickly. “So good.”
“Hmm,” he rumbled. “Are you wet for me?”
I moaned in the back of my throat before sliding my hand into my pants to check for him. “I’m really wet,” I confirmed.
He growled softly. “Stop touching yourself there. I want you to go back to your nipples.”
A soft whine left my lips as I pulled my hand away from where it really wanted to be and focused on my breasts again. I pinched and pulled them, hoping the friction would relieve some of the ache from between my legs.
“How does it feel?” he asked.
I was panting by now. “So good, but I wish you were here.”
“I know baby, but I’m gonna make you feel good, anyway.”
“Are you touching yourself?” I asked.
“I have been since I saw you in that sexy bra.”
I moaned and pinched myself harder.
“Now I want you to slide your hand down your body. Go slow or I’ll make you do it again.”
This was the most beautiful kind of torture.
I did what he said as best I could, but my fingers were greedy, and I made it to my slick center faster than I should have.
“Start over,” he commanded.
“Abe,” I whined. “Please.”
“What’s the matter, baby? Are you close already?”
“Uh huh.”
“Then this time, go slow and I won’t make you do it again.”
I grunted with frustration but did as he said. When I’d finally made it to where I needed my touch the most, I instantly plunged two fingers into my depths and cried out.
“Baby are you fucking yourself with your fingers?”
“Oh my God,” I groaned as I pulled my fingers out and pushed them in again.
“Did I tell you that you could do that?”
I shook my head. “I need something, Abe. Please,” I begged again.
“Okay baby, you can continue, but slow down. I don’t want you to come yet.”
“Why?” I whined.
“Because we’re gonna come together,” he growled.
“Yes,” I hissed as I dragged my fingers up to my clit and swirled them around. “I wish you were here. I wish it was your tongue instead of my fingers.”
He growled. “You keep talkin’ like that and I’m gonna do somethin’ about it.”
“Like what?” I gasped as my climax drew closer and closer.
“Like gettin’ in my truck and drivin’ out there so I can fuck you properly before you have to go to work.”
I moaned loudly and shoved my fingers deep inside me. “Yes,” I hissed again.
“Are you close?” he grunted.
“So close.”
“What do you need, baby?”
“Say something else.”
“You want me to talk dirty to you?”
“Please,” I begged.
“You want me to tell you how sweet you taste? How bad I want to fuck you right now?”
“Yes. Please. More.”
I was so close, I could feel my orgasm building inside me, just waiting for the right moment to blow.
“Or do you want to hear how sexy you looked with my cock in your mouth? Goddamn baby, I could come just thinkin’ about it.”
“More,” I groaned.
“How about how much I love you?” he said, turning our dirty game into something else entirely. “How every time I’m inside you I feel whole. How I never want to be anywhere but by your side. How I want to fuck you every day for the rest of your life.”
“Oh my God,” I wailed as the crest of my climax roared inside me, splitting and reforming my atoms until they were forever rearranged.
I heard Abraham panting and grunting through the phone and knew he’d come too. I lay in my bed, spent and satisfied in a way only Abraham could provide.
“Did you come good, baby?”
I pulled the phone to my face, so I could see him. “So good,” I sighed.
He smiled, his eyes bright and crinkling at the corners. “I love you.”
“Thank you.” I smiled back, so sated, my eyes were only half-open.
He chuckled. “Night, baby. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”
“Night,” I sighed and ended the call.
Damn. How can the sex still be so good when he’s hundreds of miles away and can’t even touch me? I drifted off to luxurious dreams of Abraham’s arms and couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept so well away from him.