We got back to our apartment. As soon as we entered, Travis turned to me and said, “It has been a lovely week, Mrs. Cross.”
I smiled at him. “It has been.”
“Now, we are at a crossroads again,” he said. “I told you I can’t do without my mask. The guy you’ve been with…is far too vulnerable to be able to protect you…keep you safe.”
I shook my head. “I don’t believe you!” I said to him. “That guy is more capable of protecting my feelings than anybody else.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You have to remember, Brianne. I not only want to protect you,” he said. “There’s a big part of me that also craves you.”
I stepped closer to him. “I know what you’re capable of, Travis. I know that guy can protect me, too. You don’t have to put your mask back on. When you told me…you chose to marry me over pursuing the woman you loved…I promised I would make this choice count. I promised to make you happy, Travis. It’s the least that I can do! Before I set out to find the guy I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, I will make this a happy home for you first…until you get over your heartache. Until you’re ready to find love again.”
He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, I could see tears shining through them. “Do you know there’s more than a fifty percent chance that I don’t let you go after all this?”
I giggled. “I told you—you cannot fall in love with me.”
“But I also told you I was selfish and greedy by nature.”
“You will let me go when you know I’ll be happy,” I said to him. “I know you, Travis. I know you want me to be happy. And now, I want a chance to make you happy.”
Travis closed his eyes for a moment. Then he pulled me to him and gave me a hug. “God give me strength to let you go when you ask to be set free!” he whispered, more to himself.
When he pulled away from me, he stared at my face. He wiped the tears from my eyes. Then he pulled my face to his and gave me a kiss on the lips. He leaned his forehead against mine and said, “I am a big mess inside, Brianne. I hope you can really fix me…and forgive me when all this…doesn’t end the way we wanted it to.”
“I won’t need to forgive you, Travis. I know you won’t hurt me.”
He gave me a solemn look. “Always remember that,” he said. “I would never hurt you.”
I knew he meant that. He chose to hurt himself and the woman he loved just to keep his promise to me. Yes, I would make amends. As long as Travis needed me, I would be the wife he deserved… the family he could come home to.
After dinner, while we were still sitting at the dining room table, Travis reached out and gave me an envelope.
“What is this?” I asked.
“Something you need to accept from me since you’ve accepted my proposal to be my wife,” he grinned.
I opened the envelope and found two cards on it. One was a black Visa card with the word “Infinite” written on it. The other was a black debit card. Both cards had “Brittany Anne Cross” engraved on them in gold letters.
I stared back at Travis. “What’s this?”
“A credit card and an ATM card,” he replied with a teasing grin.
“I know. But why?”
He shrugged. “Because I’m going to provide for you from now on. Everything you ever need for the house, just charge on the card. I love it when you cook for me. The least I can do is pay for the groceries. Although, you could have Karl arrange it for you. But I thought you wanted to be hands-on.”
I smiled. “Yes, I do. No way would I ask your assistant to do our grocery shopping. It’s a small household anyway. Just because I married Travis Cross doesn’t mean I’ll live like a spoiled little rich girl now.” I stared up at him. “But, Travis, you didn’t have to. I want to pay for my share. At least cook for you, pay for the groceries. I mean, you’re already not asking me to pay rent.”
He frowned. “You’re my wife, Brianne. You won’t have to worry about spending for anything anymore. You don’t even have to work in your mother’s gallery. If you want to, I won’t stop you. But everything you’ll ever earn is yours alone. Please, let me provide for everything else. And every single thing you fancy…clothes, handbags…charge them on the card. Consider them my treat.”
“And the ATM card is for?”
“For you,” he replied simply. “The pin is our wedding date. Every month, I will put money in the account. It’s yours. Do whatever you want to do with it.”
I raised a brow. “Like an allowance?”
He sighed. “I don’t know how to make you understand, Brianne. This marriage is real. Do you realize that legally, you own everything I own? That bank account should be a joint one. You should have access to what’s mine. But I know you’ll never agree.”
“Of course I won’t. I don’t even agree with the ATM now!” I argued.
He reached out for my hands and squeezed them. “Please don’t argue, Brianne. Just take it. I can argue with this on legal grounds too, and you know I would win. For instance, if something happened to me, my accounts would be frozen for a couple of months before they would all go to you. But during those months before everything is fixed, I want you to have all the means to go on.” He took a deep breath. “I promised you once that no matter what happened to me, I would still take care of you. I’m making steps to ensure that promise is kept.”
What he said actually brought me tears. I didn’t even want to think about what he had just said. Nothing could happen to Travis. Because I would die if something did. He was more important to me than all of the material things he could provide. Didn’t he know that?
Travis stood up from his seat and pulled me into his arms. “Cherie, I will fight fate for you. You know that. But the coin has two sides. Everything in life is fifty-fifty. I plan my life ahead. I like things to be in order. I don’t take chances in life. And I won’t take chances with you. I want to make sure you’ll always have a good life. Whether I’m around or not.”
“I want you to always be around. I don’t even want to think of the other possibility.”
“You don’t have to. It’s me who has to deal with that.” I had heard the sadness in his voice before he leaned forward to kiss me.
***
Travis was standing in our balcony, having a beer. I told him I’d join him shortly, but he didn’t know that I was busy doing something else. I was anxiously looking at the clock. Today…was Travis’s thirtieth birthday.
When the clock finally struck twelve, I went to the balcony. I was carrying a cake in my hands.
“Happy birthday to you…happy birthday to you…” I sang.
He stared back at me, his eyes wide, as if he couldn’t believe I was singing him happy birthday with a cake in my hands.
“Make a wish,” I told him.
He smiled at me wistfully and then he blew the candle on his cake.
“What did you wish for?” I asked.
“I’m not supposed to tell, remember?”
I laughed. “Just asking.” I placed the cake on the table.
I brought out a paper bag, and inside it was a neatly rolled parchment, tied with a red ribbon.
“What is this?”
“Your birthday gift,” I replied.
He chuckled. “That’s a first. I don’t usually allow people to remember my birthday.”
“But people doing something nice for you on your birthday means they care about you. It takes quite a lot to come up with surprises. And usually what the person wants is to see the glimmer in your eyes when you open their surprise. It hurts them when you turn them away and shut them out.”
He stared at me and smiled ruefully. Then he opened the parchment roll. It was a painting I’d made for him…a painting of the perfect sunset on the beach, with a silhouette of a man and a woman lying on the hammock, watching the sunset while in each other’s arms.
Travis bit his lip. When he stared at me, his eyes were welling up with tears. He smiled. It was as if he didn’t know what to say. Then he pulled me to him, and he gave me one hard kiss on the lips.
He leaned his forehead against mine. “Now, how can you question my decision to choose to marry you?” he whispered.
I pulled away from him so I could stare into his eyes. “Because I know you’d be happier if you’d pursued the other option you had.”
He shook his head. “On the contrary, I might have been more miserable,” he said. “And I wouldn’t be in this portrait you painted, which is…” He paused for a while and then he continued, “A picture of bliss.”
“It is actually…” I stared at my painting. I felt a surge of emotion sweep through me. My voice was full of emotions when I said, “A picture of bliss.”
We got ready for bed. Since we had returned from the honeymoon, Travis and I had been sleeping in the same bed. Sometimes we cuddled; sometimes we stayed on our own sides. It didn’t feel weird at all. Instead, everything felt right when I was in his arms. I felt safe…like I didn’t have to worry about anything at all. Sometimes, a part of me wished that he thought about only me when I was in his arms…and not wished he had chosen to stay with her instead. I knew I wanted to make up for the loss he felt. But sometimes, I thought there was a part of me that wished I could do more than that…that I could be more than just a patch…a substitute for Travis.
When I came out of the bathroom, dressed in a pair of silk pajamas, Travis startled me by sweeping me off my feet and carrying me to bed.
“Stop it!” I squealed. “Put me down, will you!”
He shook his head and stared at me mischievously. I landed on the bed with a bounce and laughed. I watched helplessly as Travis descended on top of me with a devilish look on his face.
“What are you going to do?”
“Something that will make Tom regret he ever asked me to be your guardian!” he whispered. I saw the Travis I knew when I was a kid…naughty…mischievous. His eyes were dancing as if he was up to no good and proud of it.
I struggled to push him away, but he was quick to get a grip of my wrists and pinned both my hands on top of my head. I couldn’t stop laughing. “Travis, please…”
He shook his head. “It’s my birthday. Nobody can stop me from doing what I want.”
I watched helplessly as he leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. Thoroughly and passionately. He breathed in the scent of me; he devoured my lips as if he’d been holding back from doing so for weeks. Since we’d gotten back from the honeymoon, Travis and I had shared a lot of hugs and occasional kisses. But he’d never attempted to kiss me like that again.
He let go of my wrists, but he didn’t stop kissing me. I wound my arms around his neck and kissed him back with just as much passion. I realized I’d missed this…I yearned for him to kiss me like this without reservations…without thinking he needed to protect me more than anything else.
But as always, he stopped and gently pulled away from me. He stared at me with eyes drunk with passion. But I knew he had his emotions in check. He smiled at me.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.
“So are you,” I said to him.
He leaned forward to kiss me gently on the lips again. Then he inhaled the scent of me.
Deep inside, I felt my heart twist in knots. I felt a pinch of pain. I wondered if, at that moment, Travis was thinking about her…the woman he loved…the woman he made love to last before he married me…the woman he lost because he chose to marry me.
I realized I wanted him to forget her…and see me instead. I couldn’t understand why, but somehow, I wanted not just to ease his pain…I wanted him to draw his happiness from me, too.
I held his face between my palms. Then I leaned forward and kissed him gently.
He stared at me for a moment and then he smiled. “Thank you, Brianne,” he said. “For being here. I think I’ve been celebrating my birthdays alone for most of my life.”
I smiled. “I’m here now. And I’ll be here for as long as you want me to be.”
He laughed humorlessly. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, love,” he said. “Because if it were up to me…it would be a very long time. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to let you go at all.”
I giggled. “And what? We’ll stay married forever?”
He stared at me. I expected him to laugh. But when I looked at his face, his expression looked serious. My heart pounded inside my chest. “Aren’t you happy with me, Brianne?” he asked in a sober voice.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I knew the answer to that without even thinking, not even blinking.
“I am,” I whispered. I was happy with Travis. With him, I felt safe…comforted…loved…taken care of. And I knew he would not break my heart. “Are you happy with me, Travis?”
I was afraid of his answer. I knew between the two of us, I was the one who didn’t have a choice. He, on the other hand, had the choice between the woman who was possibly the love of his life and me. I wanted to know he didn’t regret that.
He smiled, and somehow, I saw glitter in his eyes. He leaned forward and just as his lips were an inch away from mine, he whispered, “It’s bliss!”