____
Emily
1 year 4 months prior…
Come home for the summer!
Are you coming home for the summer?
Okay, it’s final, you’re coming. Make sure to bring Tammy.
That was the sort of texts I’d been sending Benjamin over the last month, and it wasn’t even summer break yet. He didn’t come home for Christmas last year, so I hadn’t seen him since last summer.
The distance between us was vast all of a sudden. I only wanted to stop depending on him, I hadn’t wanted to cross him out of my life completely.
He was still the same guy I knew over text messages, but he didn’t call or come home... Ever since that incident where he kissed my forehead, and I kissed his cheek in return. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t see him that way, but that would make it sound like I was defending myself when I didn’t have a reason to. He kissed my forehead. Why couldn’t I do the same?
He was being a turd. He was the only one thinking too much about it…almost a year later. He shouldn’t feel guilty. We weren’t like that. He was dating Tammy, and the fact that they’d been together so long told me he cared for her. They probably loved each other.
But because he was being so distant with me, it made me obsess over it. We were growing apart…even more.
I knew it was inevitable. I also knew it was needed, but I still went on about it, anyway.
Me: Fine. Don’t come home
Benjamin: I probably will. I just gotta see if we’re going to see Tammy’s parents or not.
That was him dismissing me.
Benjamin: How’re things with Roger?
I’d been dating Roger since our first date back in August. He was funny, sweet, and capable. A bonus: he was older, worked, and provided for himself. He didn’t live with his parents like I did with Dad.
But that was another thing.
Me: He asked me to move in with him.
Benjamin already shared his apartment with Tammy, so I thought telling him would help me somehow.
Benjamin: U going 2?
Me: I don’t want to leave Dad alone ;(
Benjamin: He’s doing great, ain’t he?
Me: Amazing.
Benjamin: Do u want to move in with him?
Me: I think I’d like living with him.
Benjamin: There’s your answer.
______
A couple months later…
Me: Did you get the pic I just sent you?
Benjamin: Downloading…
Benjamin: Is that my dad and your dad putting something together in my parents’ yard?
Me: Yes. That’s what I came home from work to see.
Benjamin: How did that happen?
Me: Dad said he saw him having trouble putting the swing together while he sat on the porch and asked if he needed help.
Me: I sniff a bromance brewing.
Benjamin: LOL
Me: They’re still outside together! Dad’s back is going to kill him tonight.
Me: Your mom is going to cry.
Benjamin: -_- Don’t think I don’t know you take pleasure in thinking of her discomfort.
Me: Moi? Never.
_____
More weeks later…
Me: So, I’ve been thinking…
Benjamin: I never thought I’d see the day.
Me: -_-
Benjamin: (smiling emoji)
Me: I’ve been thinking about how crazy you were about giving me this laptop. I can’t think of anything epic to write. (sad face emoji)
Benjamin: No killer Teddies?
Me: Nope.
Benjamin: No possessed dolls?
Me: No.
Benjamin: No talking stuffed animal that has laser beams as eyes?
Me: LOL. No. What is it with you and toys?
Benjamin: Do you not remember how much you’d scare the shit out of me with them?
Me: Maybe…
Me: But seriously, I got nothing. I’m so boring now.
Benjamin: You’re not boring, you’re just busy with work and school… If you can’t be creative, how about you start writing about something you know for now?
Me: Like what?
Benjamin: Like… The terror that Katie was in high school.
Me: LOLOLOLOLOL. Leave her alone. She’s getting married next week! And you won’t even come home…
Benjamin: Poor fella…
Me: You’re awful.
_______
More weeks later… My thoughts turn to tales of gorillas…
That little boy’s got a gorilla in his hand…
Gorillas pound their chests.
Katie wouldn’t make a good gorilla though, she’d be more of a hyena or a leopard.
Benjamin would make a fun gorilla…overbearing and protective.
I snickered. He might look like one if he pounded his chest when he got into one of his moods.
That’s a good idea.
An ape-man looking out for his best friend, the human.
Hmm… What would her name be?
Gorilla would be Ben the gorilla, of course…
Oh no! The little boy dropped his dinosaur, and his mom took the gorilla from him.
Quick Ben! Escape and save your dino friend!
“Are you listening?” Roger asked me from across our booth at Crash’s. Surprisingly, I wasn’t working. I was here to eat.
I tore my eyes away from the little boy and his gorilla and focused on my boyfriend who was being nice and buying me food. “Sorry, I was looking at the little boy and his gorilla.”
Roger shook his head with a smile. “Goofy.”
“It actually gave me an idea,” I told him.
“Idea?”
“Yeah,” I paused, feeling nervous about talking about writing to anyone other than Benjamin. “Truthfully, I’ve been thinking about writing.”
“Writing?” He tilted his head. “Huh.”
Huh? What did ‘huh’ mean?
“Just for fun,” I said quickly.
“Nobody writes for fun.”
“Yeah…”