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Emily
Benjamin wore his contacts. He had his glasses on when he left this morning. That felt like it meant something important…
He knocked at our door, then strolled in when I opened the door for him. My heart was erratic and clumsy as he followed behind me. He had purposely stopped next to me as I shut the door so that I’d have no choice but to walk before him. Now I felt the heat against my back.
He wore a pair of khakis and a dress shirt most days to work and it was what he still had on. Still, it was so late. “Where have you been?” I asked softly.
“At the office.”
I turned around. “This long?”
He unbuttoned the top of his shirt, and I swallowed. He opened the pack of beer and handed me one. “I kept them cold in the fridge at work.”
I took it. “You could have picked something tastier.”
He smirked, opened his, and went to the couch and sat down. I joined him there and opened mine. I took a drink and fought the need to make a face. Yeah, I would have preferred something other than a beer to get drunk for my first time. I tucked my legs underneath me as I faced him. The living room was dimly lit. I only had the floor lamp on while I had been sitting around, debating calling him and waiting for him to get home.
“So… Why drink with me now?”
His eyes were on me, completely fixated. It had me shaky and thrilled. “Did you ever sleep with any of them without a condom?”
I hadn’t expected that from him. “No. I always used condoms… Why? Did you not use them?” Please say you did.
“No. I always did too.” I looked away because he was making me nervous. “You’re still on birth control, aren’t you?” His questions really were giving the living room a certain amount of intensity that had me squirming and squeezing my legs together.
“Yeah, I am.” I raised up and sat my beer on the table. “Why the questions?” Even my voice had a tremor in it.
He leaned up and set his beer down, then he scooted closer to me. “Did you read the scene I wrote yet?”
I blushed. He was killing me. I had to look away again. “Yeah, but why are you bringing that up now?”
“Because we haven’t really been friendly the last month for me to get a chance to.”
This was my doing. I did this earlier when I had cried and now he knew everything, and now I saw something in his own eyes staring back at me.
“No, we haven’t,” I whispered.
“Am I still your Benjamin?” His deep, velvety voice asked me.
I thought about it. This was Benjamin next to me. This was the eyes, the arms that hugged and consoled me countless times, but he wasn’t safe. At least not to my emotions. I didn’t recognize my body around him. I was completely out of control when he was around… But this was my Benjamin. He might have set me anew, and I might not ever get a grip on what I felt when he was around anymore, but he’d never hurt me.
He was safe in the most unsafe way.
“You’re still my Benjamin,” I mumbled.
Our eyes held something, then he let go to place a kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes and absorbed it before grabbing his face when he leaned away and returned one to his forehead. He slid his hand into my hair and kissed one of my eyes. I did the same all the while we kept looking at each other. Next, he kissed my cheek. I returned it. When he claimed my lips, I claimed his back. I moaned. He never stopped.
His hand left my hair, and he placed both at my waist as he pulled me atop of him. I straddled him as he leaned back and continued to devour my lips. I burned all over. I’d never been so aware of my body as I did now and how much it could feel.
I opened my mouth for his tongue to come in and he groaned. His hands were on my legs, then they were sliding up toward my ass where he slipped his hands underneath my shorts and squeezed both cheeks tightly. I separated our lips and gasped as he pressed me into his erection between us.
“You’re trembling.” His voice was thick and gravelly as he spoke. “Do you like that?” He pressed me into him again.
My face was on fire. I hadn’t realized he’d be verbal during moments like this… I normally wasn’t, so I had no idea what to say or how to handle how sensitive my body was becoming in his arms. Even my breasts were heavy and achy—that couldn’t be normal.
“You’re quiet, that’s okay. I’ll make you let go.”
The bottom of my stomach reacted to his words.
He grabbed the bottom of my shirt and forced me to lift my arms up. Then he was unhooking my bra. He grabbed two big handfuls as he groaned. “Fuck.”
“Your shirt,” I mumbled, reaching for his.
“Want it off?” he asked me. I nodded, and he yanked it off immediately. “I need more skin.” He was lifting me up, sliding my shorts down with haste. He tugged my panties down with them. There was an awkward moment of me getting completely out of them then it was over, and his eyes didn’t know which part of me to stare at because they couldn’t stay put as he unzipped his own pants.
I watched with nervous excitement as he did so, but he did nothing more than slide his pants down just enough. I could see the outline of his erection against his black briefs.
He grabbed ahold of the back of my head and pulled me into another breathtaking kiss. I squirmed against him, and when he slid his free hand between us and slid a finger between my folds, I squeezed his shoulders and shoved my tongue so far back into his mouth, he groaned.
He casually circled my clit, taking his time with me, but my body was pent up and restless. I didn’t even understand my own body. I’d never felt so much need like I might die if he didn’t touch me more.
“Benjamin,” I panted.
He started leaning his body to the side. At first, I wasn’t sure what he was doing until he was shuffling us around so that he was on his back on the couch and I was on top of him. I made a move to slide down so that our bodies aligned but he gripped my hips to stop me. “No, up.” Up?
Nerves tangled with lust. He wanted me to sit on his face? I’d never done that, and the idea seemed embarrassing. All I could think about was the fact that I hadn’t showered yet after work. “I haven’t—”
He didn’t give me time to protest. He yanked me forward, urging me upward until I placed my knees at each of his ears and waited nervously. He grabbed my ass and pushed me onto his face. I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand as he slid his tongue over me. I was frozen as he used his tongue in such a way that killed me inside because he was so sure and precise that it forced me to relax.
One of his hands left my ass and joined his tongue at my opening. His tongue worked my clit while a finger pressed inside of me. I gripped the top of the couch and moaned. “Just let go, Emily. Use my face and come.”
“O-okay,” I breathed as I grabbed a handful of his hair and did as he said. I worked myself into his finger and tongue, gripping the couch and his hair to do so.
What was once embarrassing, became empowering. His entire face was underneath me and what should have felt dirty, suddenly became the most erotic, most sensual, and most loving moment I’d experienced.
His hand that had been gripping my ass this entire time, found its way to one of my breasts and squeezed tight before taking my nipple and pinching it, then it was gone again, and I briefly felt it go down to his briefs to do something.
His finger changed direction. “There,” I told him.
Now he kept hitting me in the perfect spot over and over, and his mouth covered my clit and sucked. And I started coming on his face. It lit up my entire body, I had no choice but to be loud. Only he didn’t let me finish, he yanked me down mid-orgasm and just when I was about to protest, he had our bodies already aligned, our faces close as he pressed into me all at once.
My orgasm came back stronger than before. That wasn’t all, Benjamin stretched me until I didn’t think I could get any fuller and his release chased mine. His groan and my moan collided as I pulsed and greedily excepted his release inside my body.
When it was over, I started kissing his face all over. We didn’t even technically have sex yet; he had only pressed inside but we had both gotten a release and it wasn’t enough. My body was humming for more when it should have been sated after that mind-blowing experience with him. I continued to kiss him, hoping he sensed my urgency and understood that I wasn’t done.
Still inside of me, he raised us both up and gave me time to adjust my legs around his waist before he stood up and carried us to his bedroom. I was still kissing his face and running my hands down his chest. “I had to get that out of the way so that I could do you the way you deserve,” he whispered sexily into my ear before he placed me down onto his bed and looked at me with glazed-over eyes. The sexiest eyes I’d ever seen.
“If you aren’t aware by now, you’re my always.” He spoke softly, surely, beautifully. He tapped on his chest. “You’re this Benjamin’s Emily like Gorilla Ben has his Rosie.”
He was going to make me cry. He realized something that I’d never paid much attention to. How much Benjamin and Emily go together. He’d been rooting for us all this time.
“That sounds…so good.” I almost choked up.
“You should write about them.”
“I already have.”
He smiled. “I know.”
If I had anything left to give to him, it was stolen then. He leaned down and kissed me as he began to move inside me again. My body was adjusted and slick and so willing to take from him. I dragged my fingers down his back as he made love to me. He gave attention to every part of my body, and he made sure to let me come undone before he allowed himself to.
I laid my head on his chest that night and slept with the rest of him I had desperately needed.
Benjamin had always been mine, but now he was completely.
Just as I was his.
Instead of getting drunk that night, we got drunk off one another instead.