KILLIAN

 

Triumph was a heady thing. It made my senses sharper while dulling my conscience. Dulling, but not obliterating.

Regret soured it.

Anger sparked it.

Happiness counterbalanced it.

The equation was all wrong.

I knew I could have Lucy bent over by the end of the night. I’d know the feel of her clit as I rubbed and plucked it until she came while I drove deep into her from behind. I’d finally have her on my lap while I licked and sucked her nipples until she came while I fingered both her holes.

I wanted it. Badly.

And yet I didn’t.

Dammit. Stupid conscience.

Slamming down the marker, I picked up the eraser and decimated my work. Each violent swipe attacked the thoughts running rampant in my mind.

Everything scattered, but nothing made sense.

Bedding Lucy Martin was the whole goddamned point of my patience. Enduring the insipid boredom of being here every day instead of taking off like I usually did was only because of Lucy.

She was plum to fall into my lap. One plus one equaled me and Lucy writhing in my bed before midnight. I had her.

What was my damned problem? Why was I feeling…guilty…about closing the deal?

Breaths coming in shallow, I deliberately wrote out the components for our classic red formula, Carina Crimson. This was the first one Grandfather taught me, back when I was five and showing promise as a future chemist.

This right here was an unnecessary dilemma. Waste of time.

C.A.N.C.E.L.

A six-letter word that caused a four-letter one to pop out of my mouth.

F. U. C. K.

The slashing letters stared me in the face. When did I start quibbling over what I wanted? It was just damned dinner. Fucking for dessert. Not a proposal.

Nothing hard unless I made it so.

Feeling the ache below, I had to amend. A few things hard, but not everything.

Being with Lucy wasn’t an onerous task. I’d take it as I wanted to. Nothing more. Nothing less.

And if I broke this toy too quickly…well, it wasn’t like no one saw it coming.

Especially not Lucy Martin.

I wiped the letters off the board. Just a couple more hours…

“Killian?”

“Hmm?”

“Mr. King wants to see me in five minutes.”

Of course, he fucking did.

“Why are you telling me?”

She cleared her throat. “Because I don’t want a repeat of last time. You deserve a heads-up.”

“Aren’t you rather sweet now? Go on, Miss Lucy. Run to Grandfather and soothe his fretting.”

As far as spite went, I’d say I was rather proud of my restraint. It annoyed me, of course it did, but I wasn’t surprised. Grandfather wasn’t about to let up in his information and reformation campaign.

“All right then. I’ll be back in a bit.”

I didn’t bother to answer. My magnanimous nature could only stretch so far. Besides, Lucy deserved to suffer a little for being a traitor of sorts. The door closed behind her.

F. U. C. K. M. E.

Indeed.

Turning to my desk, I looked at her chair. Purse and yellow notebook gone. Deliberately, I sat down and waited. How long would she take? What observations would she share for Gramps to dissect?

Will she still tell him I’m a great man even though I’ve iced her out?

It was foolish to the extreme to waste my time like this. I was no one’s lapdog. I didn’t have to sit around here and wait for Lucy Martin to slink back into my office where we would then pretend she didn’t report me to the man who signed both our checks.

Yet, I did exactly that.

Time ticked. The letters stared me in the face. My fingers tapped against the desk. Lucy should’ve been back by now. How fucking long did it take to snitch? I’d been a very good boy, coming to work and not even giving attitude.

Not much attitude.

Other than ignoring her, acting as if she wasn’t there because I didn’t know what to do with these feelings…

Ten minutes passed. Fifteen. Twenty. Thirty.

Finally at the thirty-three minute mark, Lucy opened the door and walked in. She stopped abruptly when she saw the board. Her dark eyes swept across the six letters and then met mine.

Disapproval.

Lovely.

The questions burned on my tongue but I swallowed their poison. Instead, I stood up and strolled over to Lucy, hands in pockets and slouched as if I wasn’t wound up tight.

“Finished?”

Lucy nodded slowly.

“Good.” I smiled. Damn, but it was hard to do so. The notebook beckoned me. I imagined the words burned on the pages, words that dealt with me. Ones she only shared with Grandfather, even though she denied it.

“Oh? Did you have somewhere you need to go?”

“Need? You can say that.”

Lucy licked her lips. “I see. I take it you’re leaving for the day? What about the meeting?”

I stared at her, refusing to answer the obvious.

“You’re not going.”

“You’re so clever today, Lucy. So very, very clever.” My smirk unnerved her. I couldn’t decide if I liked that or not. Maybe it was a bit of both? “I am leaving. You need to come with me.”

She crossed her arms. “Where are we going?”

Lucy was too far away. Boldly, I tugged her to me by one hand. “Where do you think? Out.”

“But it’s not quitting time yet—”

Walking over to the door and taking Lucy along, I tossed out, “I disagree. Quitting time is when I say it is.”

“Mr. King won’t like—”

“Need I remind you that you’re talking to him?” We cleared the hallway and headed to the elevator.

She huffed. “Your grandfather—”

I squeezed her small hand tighter. “He won’t stop us if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about us cutting out of work early.”

Enough.

Coming to an abrupt stop, I walked Lucy until her back bumped against the wall. My arm came up and rested above her head. I made a nice cage. “Live a little, Lucy Martin.”

The whisper sent a shiver through her. I bit back a smile.

“I live plenty just fine. We’re both here to do a job, Killian, and that’s what we should do.”

“Is that all I am to you, Lucy?” I whispered in her ear. “Just a job? Nada más?”

Nothing more is what I am? Will you tell the truth, little liar? 

“Of course not. You’re a lot more…” Her brave words faltered.

“A lot more than what? Tell me, Lucy.”

Another shiver went through her. The same one went through me.

“Why are you asking me this stuff?”

Ah, the goddess’s temper flared. Good. “Why aren’t you answering?”

She put her hands on my chest, as if to push me away. But she didn’t. “Killian, you’re being a brat.”

Not what I expected.

“Yeah, I’m being a brat. You know why? I want to take you out. Not in four hours. Now.”

Lucy curled her fingers. “All right. Then what? Do we come back to the office?”

Hell no, but she needed an out. Sun Tzu espoused always giving the enemy a way out and right now? Lucy was definitely my enemy.

“If you want to.”

“Okay.”

I smiled and led her by the hand back towards the elevator. I didn’t let go, not even when she flexed. Looking down, I saw her flushed cheeks.

Was it embarrassment or something else?

I’d rather it be the first. She should know how I felt every time she left to run and tell on me to Gramps.

Clearly, I needed to punish her. She’d come in and ruined my world with her optimism, beauty, and betrayal.

She deserved to feel me wreck clean across her tidy life.

Nobody got in the elevator with us. I wouldn’t let go of her hand if someone did, but Lucy’s docility would surely end. The test was going across the lobby. She tugged and wiggled before the elevator came to a stop.

Full lobby and people stared. The iron grill couldn’t hide us from their nosiness.

I smiled, pretending not to see the furtive glances between our linked hands and my face. Lucy would have to demand what she wanted from me.

Not that I had any intention of granting her way.

The doors opened and she whispered my name. One look at us and gossip would light the building on fire. Grandfather would hear.

I lowered my head only long enough to feel my smile darken. This wasn’t my fault. We each played our part and there was only one way to solve this problem.