CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“Abi, can I ask you a question?”
Serena’s roommate looked up from her book. They’d just finished going over some calculus equations and Serena hoped her explanations were helping Abi a little bit, at least. Her roommate’s parents had come down on her pretty hard in the past week over not studying hard enough, which definitely sucked. Although, somehow, Serena couldn’t help but think that Genevieve’s complete and utter freeze-out—apart from the three-word phone call about the pictures online—was worse. At least Abi’s parents cared enough about her to want her to do well. Whereas Genevieve didn’t seem to care at all about Serena now that she was no longer doing what she wanted her to do.
“Sure, what’s up? Is it about your gorgeous secret boyfriend?” When Serena nodded, Abi shoved her books and laptop aside and focused every ounce of her attention on her. “You’re going to sleep with him tonight, aren’t you?”
Serena felt her entire face go up in flames. But that was nothing compared to the way her body heated up at the mere suggestion of sleeping with Sean. As if she hadn’t thought about it all week long since the football game, and wondered...
“No, I—”
“I don’t know how you can stand it,” Abi exclaimed before Serena could say anything else. “Sean Morrison is so gorgeous. And he obviously just freaking adores you if the past couple of dates are anything to go by, because I don’t know any other reason he would take you to play Frisbee Golf or paint his face and dress up like a total dork for a football game.”
Serena was really pleased that her decision to trust her roommate had been a good one. Abi hadn’t leaked anything to anyone about Serena and Sean, not even to the other girls in the dorm. And it was so nice to finally have a confidant.
“I just don’t get why you’re holding out on him like this. Not just by not doing the most doable guy on campus, but by only seeing him once a week. If it was me,” Abi said with a wicked smile, “I’d be living in his bed twenty-four seven. Hey,” her roommate added as if she’d just thought of something, “doesn’t he have a twin? Wouldn’t it be fun if we dated Morrison brothers?”
Serena didn’t know what to say. She really liked Abi, and yet she definitely didn’t feel equipped to play matchmaker. Not only because everything with Sean was so fresh and new, but also because she hadn’t even met his twin yet.
“From everything Sean has told me, Justin sounds great,” she said carefully, “but—”
“Or maybe I should go for his rock-star brother, Drew,” Abi said with a dreamy look on her face. “He’s crazy hot and his music is amazing.” Without taking a break to let Serena answer her initial questions about why she wasn’t yet sleeping with Sean, Abi said, “Have you met any of them yet?”
“No.”
She hadn’t expected to, either. She and Sean were still slowly getting to know each other. Okay, she thought as she tried to fight back a flush that Abi was sure to comment on, so maybe the way he’d been kissing and touching her last Friday in the locker room hadn’t exactly been slow. Although the way he’d stopped when she’d freaked definitely had been.
Did he have any idea how much more his stopping made her trust him? Especially when she knew he’d wanted to do anything but.
“I’m sure you’ll be meeting them soon,” Abi said with perfect confidence.
Not for the first time, Serena wished she could be like that, so sure of her place in the world and what she wanted from it. Abi was planning to go into politics and Serena had no doubt she’d get the internship she wanted in Washington, D.C.
“Anyway, remind me why you haven’t slept with Sean yet?”
Even though Abi had proved herself to be completely trustworthy so far, Serena was still scared to tell her something so intensely personal. Namely, that she was a nineteen-year-old, world-famous virgin who had only experienced a guy’s hand in her pants for the first time last Friday...and that it had fueled every single one of her private fantasies since then.
“We both want to take it slow.”
Abi snorted in disbelief. “I don’t know any guys who want to take things slow. There’s got to be another reason.”
Serena thought about the way she’d thrown herself at Sean both of the last Fridays. “What if I said I wanted to go back to your room with you tonight?” and “More. Please.” Each time he’d been the one with the self-control to make them step back from the edge.
“He knows I’m not ready.”
“Like I said, I don’t know many guys who would care whether you’re ready or not. If you ask me, there’s only one reason he’d be willing to take things slow.” Abi cradled her chin in her hand and sighed. “He’s in love with you.”
“In love?” With her? Serena shook her head, so fast and hard that she nearly fell off the bed. “No. He can’t be.”
“Why not? Like I said before, when the housing office let me know that you were going to be my roommate, I was ready to totally hate you. But not only were you not all stuck up or into yourself the way I figured you’d be, you ended up being nice and real and helpful with my classes. If I were a guy—or swung the other way—I’d be all swoony over you, too.”
“Swoony?”
Abi grinned at the way Serena repeated the silly word. “Swoony and smitten.” There was a little pause before she shifted slightly on her bed so that Serena couldn’t quite see her hands or face anymore. “Besotted. Bewitched. Captivated. Enchanted. Enraptured. Hooked.”
Serena grinned. “I think I get what you’re trying to say without the online thesaurus.”
“How’d you guess?”
“You were saying the words in alphabetical order.”
Abi tossed her phone back onto the bed. “What about you? Are you in love with him, too?”
Serena reeled from the pointed question, even though she’d known it had to be coming. “We only met a few weeks ago.”
“So what? Are you telling me you don’t believe in love at first sight? Or that it can last forever?”
That was just the thing—Serena didn’t know what she believed. For nineteen years, her mother had taught her that love wasn’t real, that no one would ever love her the way Genevieve did, and that her mother was the only person she’d ever be able to trust. At the end of Serena’s first frat party, it had looked like all of those things were true.
But in the past few weeks she’d come to trust Sean in a way she’d never trusted anyone else. Even going so far as to offer to model for him if it would help him get back into photography after the break he’d taken since his mother’s death.
She inhaled a deep, shaky breath, before blowing it out. “I’d like to believe it’s real. And that forever is possible with someone.”
For once, Abi didn’t have a snappy comeback. Instead, all she said was, “I’m pretty sure we all would.” But before the moment could get too deep, she added, “Hey, didn’t you have a question for me?”
With thoughts of love dancing around inside her head, it took Serena a few seconds to rewind to the beginning of their conversation and remember her question. “I’m the one who asked Sean out this week, so I’m in charge of planning our date on Friday night. I was wondering if you’d be able to help me with what I was thinking of doing.”
Abi’s smile grew as Serena explained her plan, and when she was done, her roommate said, “Of course I can help you. But if you ask me, this plan is bound to send you straight into Sean’s bed. Which means you must be more ready for him—and for falling in love—than you think.”
* * *
“How did you sneak this stuff in here?”
Sean’s voice was low enough that only Serena could hear it. As he quickly zipped up her backpack to hide the small bottle of tequila, shot glasses, penknife, and lime she’d packed for tonight, her stomach twisted. Had she already screwed up this date night?
“I’m here so much that they don’t check my backpack too carefully when I come in.”
He sat on the edge of the work table and stared down at her, his expression unreadable. “I know I’m always asking you this, but are you sure this is what you want to do tonight?”
It would have been easier to shake her head, to laugh it off and tell him the contents of her bag were a joke. But what could be more normal for a college student than getting drunk on a Friday night?
So instead of backing down, or apologizing for following her instincts, she told him, “I’ve never been drunk before. And according to my roommate and every college movie I’ve ever seen, it’s an important—and very normal—rite of passage for a freshman. The thing is...there’s no one I’d trust with it but you. Especially since I have no idea how I deal with drinking—” She almost held the rest in before deciding to spit it out. “—and I hate always feeling like I’m a dozen steps behind everyone else.”
“You’ve had experiences, and know how to do things, that ninety-nine percent of people on this campus will never know. Will never deal with. Will never achieve. Getting drunk is nothing special—take it from a guy who knows firsthand. But I get that you want to know that for yourself.” He took her face in his hands and gently stroked her cheekbones. “And you’d better believe that I don’t want you drinking with anyone but me.”
She’d missed his lips on hers all week long, and it was with such relief—and pleasure—that she pressed her mouth to his. Just like always, their kiss quickly spiraled from soft and sweet to desperate and wild.
Finally, he tore his mouth from hers. “So, where are you thinking about getting me drunk?”
He was teasing her, but she’d be lying if she didn’t admit that the thought had occurred to her that perhaps Sean might be a little less careful with her under the influence. It wasn’t that she didn’t love how concerned he was that every step they took should be the right one for her…but at the same time a part of her wondered what it would be like if they both just threw caution to the wind.
“Abi mentioned a path up at the Dish that’s off the regular trail.” Her roommate had said the park in the foothills at the edge of campus where students and faculty went to exercise would be perfect for the two of them to find a private spot. “I thought we could kill two normal birds with one stone tonight, since I’ve never hiked the Dish either.”
“Your roommate knows about your plan?”
“She’s the one who got the bottle for me. She’s been really awesome about keeping everything I tell her private, actually.” And she thinks you’re in love with me. The thought flustered Serena so that she started saying, “If you think there’s a better spot, we could go somewhere else. Or we could just forget about the whole thing, since I know it’s a crazy idea, and there are probably lots of other normal things we could do together.”
“The Dish is perfect.” He stood up and held out his hand. “Shall we?”
Loving the way he said it, as if they were going out for an elegant night of dinner and dancing rather than hiking up to a secluded spot on the top of a hill to pound shots, she answered him with a kiss.