CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
“I had a great time with your family today.”
Drew needed Sean’s car for the evening to visit his professor, so Olivia had dropped them off in front of Serena’s dorm, and this was the first chance they’d had to be alone since before the party.
“They all really liked you. Just like I knew they would. Even Olivia,” he said with a grin, “couldn’t help but join your team by the end.”
“They’re all amazing. And if at least one of them hadn’t been just a little bit suspicious of me, well, I think that would have been the weird part.”
In fact, the only truly weird thing about the afternoon was that no one had talked about his mom apart from an accidental comment here or there. It was as if they were all walking on eggshells around each other. Or, more specifically, Sean’s father.
Was loving someone so deeply worth the pain of losing that love?
But she already knew the answer to that, didn’t she? Because even if everything blew up between her and Sean, she didn’t see how she could ever regret loving him.
Not, she reminded herself, that things were going to go wrong. Because for once in her life, she felt like she was exactly where she needed to be with exactly the person she needed to be with. And every time she thought about the way Sean seemed to be on the verge of wanting to take pictures again, it made her so happy for him that she knew nothing could possibly crush that joy.
Nothing at all.
As they walked inside and her dorm mates said hello, she could see all of them taking note of the fact that she and Sean were holding hands. She smiled, thinking that as far as she was concerned, every last one of them could take a picture and post it on the Internet.
And if her mother saw it? Well, she’d just have to accept that her daughter had finally grown up. Yes, she knew her mother’s terrible track record with Serena’s father meant that she would likely be extremely suspicious of Sean’s motives, but surely Genevieve would soon realize that Sean was a good person and that he didn’t mean Serena any harm, wouldn’t she?
Still high on having spent the afternoon with Sean’s family, Serena was more hopeful than ever that the two of them might one day be able to connect as mother and daughter, rather than as “momager” and client.
Because if Serena could meet a guy like Sean and fall in love, then surely anything was possible, wasn’t it?
Soon. She’d tell her mother all about Sean really soon. Especially since she knew it would be better to tell Genevieve that they were dating before her mother read about it online and saw more pictures of them together.
Tomorrow morning, Serena assured herself, was soon enough. For the rest of today, all she wanted to do was focus on being with him.
“I like seeing you this happy,” he said as he pulled her close and nuzzled against her.
It was amazing how different—and magical—everything felt now compared to the first time she and Sean had walked across campus together, both of them prickly and unsure with each other.
“I like being this happy,” she agreed. And she was hoping to feel even happier soon. Very soon, in fact.
The plan was to grab some of her books from her room so that they could study back at his place. But Serena knew the likelihood of getting much studying done tonight while alone with Sean was pretty much nil.
She’d finally made up her mind about the two of them. Even if he wasn’t ready yet to share absolutely everything with her, she loved him enough to trust that he would one day...and she couldn’t wait one more second to be his.
One hundred percent his and only his.
In fact, at this point, she wasn’t sure she was going to have the willpower to make it all the way back across campus to his room. Maybe, she thought as she unlocked her door, she’d text her roommate to find out exactly how long Abi would be gone and whether they could have the room to themselves for a while.
The thought of finally making love with Sean made Serena giddy enough that she couldn’t wait until they were inside to kiss him. When he put his hands on her hips and pulled her tightly against him in exactly the way she loved so much, it was clear that he couldn’t wait another second, either.
By the time her door swung all the way open they were wrapped around each other. After a long afternoon where he’d constantly stroked her back, played with her hands under the table, and teased her with little kisses, she was ready for more.
Beyond ready.
Especially when she had all this joy, all this happiness, to share with him.
But then, in the exact moment that she realized he’d stopped kissing her back, she heard her name.
“Serena!”
She would instinctively have spun away from Sean if he hadn’t been holding her so tightly.
“Mom?” She stared at her mother in shock. Genevieve was standing by the window, looking horrified at the sight of Serena in Sean’s arms. “What are you doing here?”
Genevieve Britten was a very striking thirty-nine-year-old woman, and Serena was sure she must have turned plenty of heads walking through campus and into Serena’s dorm today. People always said it was clear where Serena’s looks had come from, though Genevieve’s modeling look had always been crisp and angular, whereas Serena had never been able to shed her soft, slightly dreamy appearance.
“You lied to me,” her mother said in a voice so sharp it could have carved a diamond. “You told me the tabloid pictures were setups. But here you two are, just like in the photos. Worse.”
As the first shock began to wear off, Serena realized her mother hadn’t so much as looked at Sean. “Mom,” she said in as steady a voice as she could manage, “this is Sean. Sean Morrison.”
“I don’t care what his name is. Do you think he loves you? Do you think he’s going to stick around after he gets what he wants from you? After what you’ve probably already so stupidly given him?”
Maybe if she hadn’t just come from spending the day with Sean’s amazing family, this conversation wouldn’t seem so surreal. And maybe if she hadn’t been apart from Genevieve for so many weeks, she would still be numb to hearing her speak like this about men, about their unfaithfulness, their lies.
But today it all came in sharp contrast to the joy, and the faith in love, that she’d literally been embracing just moments before.
Still, though every word out of her mother’s mouth felt like a knife cutting into her, Serena was torn. Torn between moving closer to Sean...and edging away from him in the hopes that it would cool her mother’s ire and make her happy. Or rather, happier.
Sean, however, clearly wasn’t wavering even a little bit as he kept a very protective arm around her. “Ms. Britten,” he said in a low voice in which he was very carefully working to bank his fury, “I don’t think you should talk to your daughter that way.”
No one had ever stood up to her mother on her behalf before. Not her agent. Not any of the photographers or designers, not even the ones that Serena had thought were friends. She’d been too valuable a commodity for all of them to risk Genevieve forbidding them access to Serena.
“I can see why you fell for his lies,” her mother said to Serena, still not directly acknowledging Sean. “He knows exactly how to get to you, doesn’t he, by acting like all he wants is to take care of you. Well, let me tell you what he really wants. He wants to fuck you.” She gestured toward the other dorm rooms. “All any of these college boys want to do is fuck you. They’re going to say all the right things. They’re going to make you believe they mean it when they say they love you. And you’re going to make it so easy for them by being so desperate to hear their pretty little lies. But in the end all they’re going to do is screw you, brag to their friends, then move on to the next stupid girl desperate enough to believe in love. Forgotten, Serena. You’ll be forgotten. And I’ll still be the only one who will ever love you. The only one who will still be here for you with open arms when the rest of the world turns its back on you. So if you’re stupid enough to even think of giving up your career and this movie, I promise you that you will regret it for the rest of your life. Just the way I always regretted giving up mine.”
“Serena.”
Sean had moved in front of her and his hands were on her shoulders as if he could physically block her from the horrible things her mother was saying. Things Serena had heard her whole life, but hadn’t wanted to be true.
“You don’t have to stay here and listen to this. You know you don’t.”
When her mother’s verbal assault hadn’t let up, shock had automatically started to shift to that buzzing numbness that Serena had been familiar with for so long. But something pierced through. Movie. Her mother had mentioned the movie. Serena needed to ask what Genevieve was talking about. Needed to know exactly how her life was about to change. And yet, even the possibility that the Smith Sullivan movie really was back on wasn’t the real reason Serena couldn’t just turn and walk away.
“She’s my mother,” she told Sean in a soft voice.
Even though she’d left to go to college and Genevieve had been angry, Serena had never stopped hoping that the two of them would eventually find their way around to having a good relationship. The thought of letting that hope die nearly brought tears to her eyes, when even her mother’s tirade hadn’t.
And yet, just because Serena couldn’t walk away from her mother, didn’t mean that she could let Sean go, either. “Please,” she whispered to him as she reached for one of his hands, “don’t leave. Even if you don’t agree with what I’m doing, stay here with me.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Serena. You know I’m not.”
Unfortunately, Serena wasn’t at all certain that she could say the same about herself. Not when that same fear that had tickled her spine when Olivia had mentioned Smith Sullivan’s movie was quickly taking over her entire body.
Though Sean still held tightly to her hand, Serena forced herself to step away from the protection of his body to face her mother again. “I’m sorry that you’re so upset about my dating Sean. We were friends first and only just started to date, so that’s why I hadn’t told you yet. I was planning to call you tomorrow morning, actually, to share the exciting news. One day I hope that you’ll realize what a great person he is.”
“I don’t care about your boyfriend, Serena.” And by the way her mother said it, as if he was no more important than a fly buzzing around the room, she knew Genevieve meant it. “None of this nonsense matters now that Smith Sullivan’s movie is back in production. I know how upset you were when Smith delayed his plans to shoot the movie. That’s why I made a special trip to see you today. I simply couldn’t share the amazing news over the phone that everything is back on and he still wants you to play the supporting actress role.”
Just that quickly, her mother had flipped a switch, from utterly furious to perfectly reasonable now that they were talking business. Business she was positive was a slam dunk. Serena had seen it a hundred times—the way Genevieve could pull out a different mask and put it on without so much as a pause. If anyone should be the actress, it should be her mother. Especially since for all that she was claiming she hadn’t wanted to share the news over the phone, it was obvious she’d already let it leak to the press before talking to her daughter about it.
So even though she’d previously vowed to disown Serena if she caught her with a guy at Stanford, she’d clearly decided that doing Smith Sullivan’s movie was far more important. And that it would be exactly the thing to pull Serena back into the Hollywood life. Permanently.
“I wasn’t actually too upset,” she began, but her mother wouldn’t let her finish.
“This movie—a role that is certain to win you an Oscar—is what we have worked for your entire life. We have so much to do to get ready for it.”
Serena had only stood up to her mother once, when she’d been undeterred about going to college. But that had been when she thought the movie was permanently out of the picture. Now, more than ever before, she felt pulled in different directions. By what her mother wanted, had always wanted: for Serena to be an A-list star. By the promises she’d made to Sean to stay on campus with him.
And by her own dreams.
Maybe there was some way she could make everyone happy? Maybe after she made great grades this quarter and convinced the university to enroll her as a full-time student, she’d also be able to persuade them to let her take a short break to film the movie. And maybe Sean would forgive her for breaking her promise to stay on campus as long as she came back quickly.
“When is Smith planning to begin filming?”
“As soon as possible.” Her mother looked around the dorm room with obvious distaste, clearly more than ready to get out of there. First class was barely good enough for Genevieve. Her shared bedroom, Serena knew, must seem little better than a slum. “Smith is expecting you in Seattle next week.”
“But fall quarter won’t be over by then. If I leave before I’ve finished one full quarter, they won’t think I’m serious about being here and then I’m sure they won’t turn my probationary acceptance into a permanent one.”
“I know you think you’re upset about having to leave, but we both know this life was never for you. It was never anything more than a little fantasy.”
“Bullshit!” Sean had clearly done all he could to let Serena navigate the conversation on her own, but now he’d had enough. “Attending Stanford isn’t a fantasy. Serena is one of the most serious, most motivated students I’ve ever met. If anyone belongs here, it’s your daughter.”
Finally, Genevieve turned her gaze to Sean. “She signed a contract with Smith, many months ago, in which she guaranteed him her participation in the film if and when it came to pass.” Her mother finally smiled before focusing on Serena again. “Once you do this movie, your life will be changed forever.”
Serena knew her mother was right about her life changing forever. Because she’d never be able to get away from photographers, would never have a chance to be even remotely normal…and she suddenly couldn’t believe she’d been so stupidly, naïvely wrong to believe that nothing could come to crush her newfound joy.
“I gave up everything for you, Serena. You owe me this movie.”
“Serena,” Abi said as she barreled through the open door, “what’s going on? People said they heard—” Her roommate broke off in midsentence when she belatedly realized she’d walked into the middle of a tense standoff. “I meant to tell you that I let your mom in earlier.”
But Serena could barely hear what Abi was saying as she watched Genevieve smooth a nonexistent wrinkle from her expensive designer dress and open a compact to make sure her makeup and hair were still perfect. “I’ll email you your travel details.” One air-kiss later, she was gone, leaving only her expensive scent behind.
“Serena?” Abi looked between her and Sean. “What just happened? Why are you so pale? You should sit down.”
“I have to go.” Serena’s stomach was churning and she felt like she was going to be sick. “I can’t stay.”
Sean’s hands were warm as he turned her face to make her look into his eyes. “You don’t have to make any decisions yet.” His mouth on hers was what finally pulled her all the way up and out of the thick fog. “Not tonight.”
“But the contract...”
“Can be broken.”
“If I’d known your mother was going to upset you so much, I wouldn’t have let her in.” Abi looked out the still-open door. “You guys go back to Sean’s place, and I’ll do damage control for whatever people heard.” Her roommate hugged her. “Text me later to let me know you’re okay?”
“I should have told you about my mom, Abi, about how things are between us—” But she’d been so afraid to trust anyone.
Just as scared as she’d been by the thought of having to one day return to her old life.