CHAPTER NINE
Serena knew her mother’s routine down to the tiniest detail. By eight p.m., if they weren’t at an industry event, Genevieve would have poured herself a glass of wine. By eight thirty, the bottle would be half empty and she’d take the rest of it with her to the bathtub, where she’d relax and finish her final glasses. By nine fifteen she’d be beneath the covers snoring with her eye mask on and her earplugs in. Serena was always supposed to be asleep by nine, too, so that she didn’t wake up for early calls with dark circles under her eyes. But once she got old enough to realize that her mother never stirred once she passed out from the combination of alcohol and hot bath, she’d only pretend to go to sleep before staying up reading under the covers. Or, as the case had been this past fall, filling out college applications.
Grabbing her phone, she left her room and headed down the hall to find a private spot outside in the middle of the deserted parking lot to listen to her mother’s message and then finally call her back.
But when she finally looked at the screen, she was surprised to see a text from Sean. She smiled as she ran her fingertip over the screen, wishing she could actually touch him by doing so.
HOW’D YOUR MEETING GO?
She knew he’d been worried about her when he’d left her with Professor Fairworth, probably because she’d clearly been freaked out about being alone with him in his small office. Thankfully, it looked like it had been another situation she’d read wrong.
GOOD
She paused, tried to think of something fun or flirty she could add.
HOW WERE YOUR CLASSES?
She groaned the second she sent her text. Seriously, she didn’t have the first clue how to flirt. Abi probably could blow a guy’s mind in five words, no problem. Maybe she should ask her roommate for lessons?
LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO PLAN OUR FIRST OFFICIAL “NORMAL” OUTING
Their first official normal outing? Did that mean he wanted there to be others?
Suddenly, she remembered what Abi had said about Sean being the hottest guy in school, the one everyone wanted. Why, she had to ask herself again, would he want to be with a girl who was awkward and studious, not to mention a total pain in the butt to hang out with when cameramen tended to follow her every move?
But before she could text back to let him off the hook, he wrote:
NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT WE’RE DOING, BUT DON’T THINK I’M LETTING YOU OUT OF IT
Her smile was so big it almost hurt her cheeks as she texted him back.
VERY MYSTERIOUS
And sweet, too. If the rest of the girls on campus knew that Sean Morrison wasn’t just gorgeous, but nice, as well, they’d never leave him alone. Jealousy rose swift and hot at the thought of anyone else with him, even though he wasn’t hers.
Not yet, anyway. Because she kept pushing him away.
But what if she stopped doing that?
What if she pulled him closer, instead?
FRIDAY NIGHT AROUND 5?
After she quickly texted back to let him know that time would work, he sent one more.
I’LL PICK YOU UP AT THE LIBRARY
Her laughter rang through the parking lot at how well he knew her already, that she was likely one of the only students on campus who would choose studying in the library over hanging out and listening to a band play outside on a sunny Friday afternoon.
And just as he’d made her forget her nerves about going into her meeting with her professor, she now felt much less tense when she finally pressed the play button on her mother’s voice mail. After all, everything else that had been worrying her today had ended up going so much better than she expected. Maybe her mother’s phone call would, too. In fact, maybe Genevieve had finally realized during the past three weeks in which she hadn’t responded to any of Serena’s phone calls or emails that she wasn’t trying to hurt her or rebel. She was just trying to live her own dreams.
Of course, as soon as she heard her mother’s voice, she realized just how stupidly hopeful she’d been. Because Genevieve Britten was very upset with Serena. Very, very, very upset.
“How could you?”
Her entire message was those three little words. But she’d managed to convey every last nuance of how she felt with them.
With a shaking hand, Serena dialed her mother’s number, and it wasn’t until voice mail picked up that she was able to unclench her teeth and take in a full breath.
“Hi, it’s me. Sorry I didn’t call you back earlier, but I was in the library and then in a meeting with a professor and classes until now.”
She tried to make her voice sound relaxed, but not like she was actually having fun at college. Especially not having fun with a boy in his bed, since she knew from her mother’s message that was where Genevieve’s brain had immediately gone. Likely it had been a two-bottle night.
“I was just as surprised as you were to see those paparazzi pictures, but I swear it’s not what it looked like. I promise you that he’s just a friend and we were just grabbing a bite to eat.”
She didn’t bother trying to deny the fact that she and Sean had been eating pizza and drinking Coke, not when her mother had surely already cataloged every sin in the pictures, including the dumpy clothes and baseball cap Serena had been wearing.
Hoping that short and sweet was better just in case she accidentally said too much, or ended up sounding too guilty, she closed with, “Everything’s fine here and I’ll keep sending you emails about my classes and what I’m learning.”
Serena wrote Genevieve a long email every week about her classes, and even though her mother hadn’t responded to any of them, she hoped she was at least starting to realize that Serena was serious about staying in school. And that she loved what she was learning.
Hope was a funny thing. Because even after she’d spent nineteen years with her mother acting in one specific way—namely, putting Serena’s career before absolutely everything else, including the true happiness of either of them—she still kept wishing things could be different.
And that maybe one day, if she could just find the right way to frame things, her mother might actually see the real her.