CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
“So would you like to get a look at your baby?”
Riley’s fingers squeezed his own tightly and their gazes met. They were both eagerly nodding yes.
The doctor’s appointment had gone well with only a minor hiccup during the internal exam. Riley had nudged him so he was standing near her head and holding her hand, which was far better than his earlier position near her feet. Since they hadn’t been intimate in a while it felt a little strange to be a party to something so personal but it had been over quickly.
Dr. Kate had patiently answered all of their questions, even the stupid ones. He didn’t know which of his questions met that criteria but he was sure there were more than a few that did. The doctor, however, had her game face on and didn’t bat an eyelash when he asked about foods, exercise, and travel. When answering, she’d taken the opportunity to assure both of them that sex was perfectly fine and that Riley might experience a sharp rise in her libido in the second trimester. Neither of them had asked but it was good to know.
Lucky me. Hopefully.
Sam and Riley were moved into the ultrasound room and he settled into a chair next to the padded table, holding Riley’s hand. This was really happening. He was going to see his baby for the very first time. His chest had tightened painfully and he could barely draw a breath. He had to grip the arm of the chair with his free hand to keep it from visibly shaking.
Please let the baby be okay. Please let him be alright. I’ll do anything, give up anything. Just let him be healthy. That’s all I ask.
Tears pricked at Sam’s eyes and his stomach did flips in his belly as he waited for what seemed like days or years for the gray screen to flicker to life. This was the verdict that he’d been hoping and dreading.
Please, please, please.
Riley looked almost as tense as he felt. He was trying to be the strong man for her but inside it felt like he might crumble into a million tiny pieces. He was that vulnerable. This baby hadn’t even been born yet, didn’t have a name, and he hadn’t even seen it but already he loved it more than anything in the world. He’d do anything for it. He’d give up his own life for Riley and the baby, without question.
And he was helpless. Riley had to be the tough one and carry the child. All he could do is stand by her side. She was the hero and he was the sidekick.
Dr. Kate pointed to a round thing on the screen. “There he is. There’s your baby. Of course, it’s too early to know if it’s a boy or girl but that light there? That’s his heartbeat. Nice and strong.”
Strong. He kept repeating that word over and over again in his head because speaking was out of the question. He couldn’t even begin to try and form words. It was too overwhelming.
That was his baby. And he was strong.
“He’s healthy?” Riley asked, a huge smile blooming on her beautiful face. “He looks normal and everything?”
Even the doctor was grinning. “Looks good in there. We’ll take another look at your next appointment, of course. Should I print you a few pictures to show your family and friends?”
Riley answered for him, vigorously nodding yes. The doctor printed off the photos and handed them to Sam who couldn’t stop staring at the murky images. That light was his child’s heartbeat. That round thing was the head.
These blurry pictures were such a simple thing but their effect was profound. And the funny thing was, no one in the room but Sam seemed to recognize it. He’d been changed forever and the doctor and Riley were chatting as if nothing miraculous had happened. Couldn’t they see that he would never be the same person ever again? He wanted to look into a mirror and see if he’d physically changed as well.
For the first time in Sam’s life, he knew what it felt to be truly fucking terrified.
* * *
Sam had been strangely quiet during Riley’s ultrasound and no chattier on the way to the movie set. He didn’t seem as…excited about seeing the baby as she did. His smile and laughter seemed strained, almost forced as they’d chatted about the appointment. Had the reality of what he was getting himself into hit him when they’d seen their child?
He certainly had much to lose. He was a renowned bachelor and could basically have any woman he wanted. Getting married and having a family was going to cramp his style. No more jetting off to the south of France for champagne-soaked parties and beautiful French models. There would be midnight feedings, diapers, and crying. None of that was glamorous and it was a far cry from the life he’d led so far. She could only assume from his remote expression that he was rethinking it all.
She could, of course, simply ask him what he was thinking but she hated to be that woman…that female that asked, “What are you thinking?” It was so cliché and almost as bad as asking if her butt looked big when trying on jeans.
But then she remembered his face when the baby had first appeared on the screen. He’d appeared almost in awe, completely gobsmacked. Not that she wasn’t as well. They’d both been amazed and dumbstruck. Maybe he was simply processing those emotions. Men didn’t always do feelings like women did.
It was in that moment when she and Sam had seen the baby that she’d moved a mile closer to agreeing to marry him. This baby deserved the best they could give him or her. Was she being selfish by hesitating? He was a wonderful man and she’d have to look far and wide to find another half as good.
If their relationship kept on going this well, she was going to say yes.