CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
The next afternoon, Riley sat on the bed in the condo’s spare bedroom while Paula unpacked.
“Even Callie doesn’t know this story,” Paula said, tucking her clothes into a drawer. “She met him long after he and Trish divorced.”
Riley hated this. Going behind Sam’s back to find out personal details felt distasteful, but if she was contemplating marrying him she needed to know what demons were driving him to make such rash decisions. After all, she was physically having a baby and she hadn’t even entertained the idea of giving up everything she loved and sitting home for the rest of her life. If she wasn’t a teacher, she still wanted to do something productive. She wasn’t sure what that would be yet but she wouldn’t stop looking until she found it.
“I tried to ask him about his marriage but he shut down. Changed the subject and made it clear he didn’t want to talk about it.”
Paula sighed and hung up her last blouse in the closet. “No one wants to talk about their failures. Not that Sam failed in my eyes. I don’t think that he did, but he does and that’s what matters. After the divorce, Sam swore off love, marriage, and family. He planned to be a happy go lucky bachelor for life.”
“Which would have worked if I hadn’t gotten pregnant.”
Chuckling, Paula came to sit down on the bed. “No, my dear, it would have worked if he hadn’t met you. The baby is just a bonus. He was falling for you long before he found out you were pregnant.”
Riley had a hunch that meeting Sam had been completely engineered by Paula. “You threw us together on purpose, didn’t you?”
The older woman couldn’t quite meet Riley’s gaze. “I wanted to help you.”
“And?”
“And I wanted to show Sam that not all women were the same. You two are perfect for one another.”
Crafty old woman. Riley would need to keep on her toes or Paula would have the baby’s entire future planned out. “It didn’t hurt that you would get to choose your daughter-in-law.”
Tapping her chin, Paula seemed to consider Riley’s words. “I never thought of that but you’re right.”
Sure you didn’t, Paula. It was all a happy accident.
Riley couldn’t hide her grin at Paula’s innocent facade. Her son was the actor in the family.
“Never occurred to you? Not once?”
“Maybe once. But what you really want to know about is Sam and Trish, and that’s a story I can tell you. Sam won’t. He doesn’t even discuss it with me.”
He wouldn’t even talk about it with Paula. That slapped Riley right in the face, making her think clearly for the first time that day. She’d been so worried about what she needed that she hadn’t been focusing on what Sam needed.
He needed her to respect his privacy. Going behind his back to his mother to find out things he didn’t want to discuss wasn’t respect. It was slimy and she just couldn’t do it. She did indeed desperately want to know what was driving him to ask so strangely, but this wasn’t the way to find out.
“He and Trish met when he first went to Hollywood–”
“Stop, Paula.” Riley held up her hands and shook her head. “I can’t do this. I want to hear the story but I need to hear it from Sam.”
“He’ll never tell you.”
Never is a long time.
“I cannot imagine that he wouldn’t tell his future wife about his previous marriage. I think I have the right to know, but he needs to be the one to tell me, Paula. I just can’t go behind his back like this and let you tell me. Sam would be livid.”
“He might be relieved.”
Riley didn’t believe that for a minute and she didn’t think Paula did, either.
“I’ll talk to him again tonight when he gets home. I need to make it clear that if he can’t open up to me then I can’t marry him. Does that seem harsh? Am I being unreasonable? Because if I am–”
“You’re not,” Paula waved away Riley’s concerns. “Sam should tell you about his first marriage, especially as he has apparently lost his mind and decided to retire from acting. I have to admit that I know the story and I didn’t see that one coming. It’s a major overreaction but Sam, much like his actor friends, tend to be drama kings. He was like this when he was little boy too, everything was a big damn deal. I’m just sorry that you’re caught in the middle of all of this. But I do respect your decision, although I think it’s more than my son deserves right now. He’s been carrying this around far too long and letting it fester. In his mind Trish is blameless and believe me when I say that she isn’t some innocent here. There were issues on both sides of that marriage. Neither one of them were very happy.”
“So I simply need to get Sam to finally talk to me about his past. Piece of cake, right? I’ll just give him an ultimatum. I won’t marry him until he tells me. That should go over wonderfully. Maybe I should have Callie make a hotel reservation for me tonight after he throws me out.”
Paula crossed her arms over her chest. “If you go, I go.”
This wasn’t going to be easy. In fact, it might be impossible. By taking a stand tonight, Riley might bring an end to her relationship with Sam. She was asking a great deal from him, more than he might be able to give.
She could lose it all.
* * *
When Riley and his mother had to be prompted to speak during dinner, Sam knew something was going on. Normally they chatted away and he could barely get a word in edgewise, but tonight he had to ask them questions to get them to talk. The two women were exchanging glances and fidgeting in their chairs as if they couldn’t wait for the meal to be over. They’d ordered in Chinese, and if Sam read his fortune cookie he had a feeling it was going to tell him that his mother and girlfriend were up to no good.
Perhaps they were plotting together to get him to live in Florida after the baby was born. They didn’t need to conspire, however; if that’s where Riley wanted to live then it was fine with him. He wouldn’t be working anyway so he didn’t need to be in Hollywood or New York City.
Sam pushed his plate away and patted his full stomach. It was nice to come home to a house that wasn’t dark and empty. This was something he intended to get used to.
“Do you and Riley have anything planned for tomorrow?”
Another furtive glance. Yep, they were definitely up to something.
“Not much,” Paula finally replied. “I wanted to show Riley some of my favorite places in the city like Serendipity and Radio City Music Hall. She also wants to see the Statue of Liberty, but we have all week to decide. It depends on how she’s feeling tomorrow.”
Riley had been doing so well with her morning sickness, but of course it would hinge on how she was feeling. Thankfully his mother was here now to keep an eye on Riley.
“Are you feeling okay now?”
“I’m fine. We’re just being careful.” He must have looked like he didn’t believe her because she rolled her eyes. “Seriously, it’s all good. The tea and toast in the morning help and then the wristbands and lollipops keep me good through the day. If I even start to feel queasy, I drink some ginger ale and it goes away.”
“Good. That’s good. But now Mom is here to help if you have any issues while I’m working. I’m trying to get the director to push all of my scenes together on the schedule so I can finish early. Then I can be here all the time.”
Those glances again. Sam was getting tired of it. If they had something to say, they should just damn well say it.
“Does anyone want to tell me what’s going on? You two are obviously plotting world domination. Should I be scared?”
Paula dabbed at her lips with a paper napkin. “I think I’m going to take a nice, long, very long bath. I’ll even have my earbuds in so I won’t hear a thing.”
Sam frowned, not sure what his mother had in mind. Obviously she wanted Sam to have some privacy with Riley but this was strange. He wasn’t going to have sex with his girlfriend in the kitchen or living room when his own mother was staying here.
Riley was wringing her hands together, the fingers almost white where she was twisting them. This was not good. A bar of fear began to build in his gut as he watched the woman he loved fret and worry. She clearly wasn’t happy at the moment and he had no idea as to why.
Did she want to leave?
“I think Mom wants us to talk.”
She looked up and he could see the war going on behind her eyes. Whatever it was she wanted to discuss, she was of two minds about it.
“I need you to do something for me,” she finally said, taking a visibly shaky breath. “And you’re not going to like it.”
“There’s isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, Riley. You have to know that.”
He couldn’t think of one single thing he’d refuse her. He’d walk buck naked over hot coals if that’s what she wanted him to do.
“I need you to tell me about your first marriage.”
Except that. He couldn’t talk about that.
“No.”
The word came out reflexively, no thought required. His whole being rejected the idea, his brain and heart in total mutiny.
Folding her hands, her expression turned sad, her lips drooping downward. “I thought you might say that. Paula offered to tell me the story but I told her I couldn’t go behind your back like that.”
Righteous anger at his mother welled up inside of Sam, making him see red. She had no business blabbing his life story to anyone that asked. It belonged to him and he would decide whom he would tell.
Riley wasn’t just anyone, though. He wanted her to be his wife and that small part of him that was still sane knew it wasn’t unreasonable to want to know about his past before she married him. Hell, for all she knew he’d been a wife beater and cheated on Trish, and she wouldn’t want to marry him if he was like that. He just…couldn’t tell her. If she knew, she might think less of him. She might not marry him.
“I can assure you that I’d be the best husband to you that I possibly can be. I’m ready to devote my entire life to you and the baby.”
Leaning forward, she reached out for one of his hands, her skin chilly when it should have been warm. “That’s what this is about, Sam. I’m not asking you to devote your entire life to me. I’m not asking you to retire from acting. I’m not sure why you’d want to. You love what you do and you enjoy it. You keep talking about watching over me and making sure I’m safe. I’m worried about you. I don’t think it’s healthy to obsess like this. I realize now that I’ve barely been alone since I got to New York. Either you or Callie have been here, and now you’re talking about your mother watching me. It is not necessary to babysit me twenty-four-seven. I’m a grown woman and I can take care of myself.”
She didn’t have a clue as to what could happen. He wasn’t going to enlighten her, instead lobbing the ball back into her court. He could argue and debate with the best of them.
“You know, some women would be overjoyed that I was willing to put my career aside for them. They’d be grateful that I put my family first.”
Her brows shot up and she straightened in her chair, her hand falling away from his. Shit. That might not have been the smartest thing to say.
“You’re right. Some women would be glad to have you hanging around all hours of the day admiring them and bringing them tea and toast. If you want one of those women, I suggest you call one. I’m guessing you have dozens of phone numbers of females just like that. You said you loved me because I was different. Was that a lie? Just a line to get me into bed?”
“No,” he said, jumping up from his chair, anger beginning to build again. “I’ve never used a line on you.”
“Okay, then…you were telling the truth. But you’re lying to me right now, Sam. I can see there’s something you’re not telling me. So let’s get this out of the way so we can move on.”
That sane part of his brain was drowned out by the chorus of voices in his ears telling him to say nothing. Never tell her his shameful past. He had to convince her to drop this now.
“If I tell you, you won’t marry me. We love each other. Isn’t that enough?”
From the look on her face the answer was a resounding no.
“I do love you but that’s only part of the equation. I have to be able to trust you, and that’s something I’ve been burned on in the past. You know that. I’m not trying to make this an ultimatum, but I don’t see how I can move forward with you unless you’re honest with me.” She stood as well, walking to him so she was standing close. He could smell the vanilla scent of her shampoo, and it was all he could do not to sweep her into his arms and kiss her until she forgot all about this crazy subject. Make it so nothing mattered but the way they felt when they were together. “Sam, did you cheat on Trish? It’s okay. You can tell me.”
That’s what everyone assumed. That he’d been unfaithful. He’d never corrected anyone, preferring it to the truth. He opened his mouth to say yes, to admit to a deed he’d never committed but his innate honesty wouldn’t let him tell the lie. It was one thing to stay silent but a whole other thing to blatantly tell an untruth. He couldn’t do it.
Riley was looking up at him, love in her eyes but anguish, too. She wanted his story and he’d gone to great lengths to keep it from her, but he could also see the resolve behind the sadness. She would never marry him if he didn’t tell her the truth. Of course, she probably wouldn’t marry him afterward, either.
Frankly, his mother had already inserted herself into this dilemma, so it was only a matter of time before she spilled the beans to Riley. He was cornered like a wounded animal, no way out.
“I didn’t cheat on Trish. Ever. I swear.”
Blinking a few times, Riley nodded and smiled. “Well…that’s good.”
Scraping his fingers through his hair, he groaned in surrender. The woman he loved looked so hopeful and he was about to knock her rose-colored glasses off. So much for protecting her from the harsh world. He was about to throw her headlong into his dismal past.
“You better sit down. It’s a long story.”