Piper

“I can’t watch this,” I tell West as I continue to stare.

It’s like passing by an accident. You know you shouldn’t watch—it’s too personal, too intrusive—yet you can’t look away. And, right now, my husband is that car alongside the road that’s all smashed up and in a million pieces. He’s shattered, falling apart from the dildo strapped around Tilly’s waist.

My husband is being fucked in the ass by a woman, and I have no idea what this means for him or for us.

“Piper, come on. You’re really pale,” West says as he tries to lead me away from the door.

I throw my hand over my mouth and swallow down the bile. “I feel sick.”

Cannon shifts positions and opens his eyes. When he does, his peripheral vision picks up on our shadows. The second he connects the dots, he roars, “Motherfucker. Untie me, Tilly. Right fucking now.”

I turn and run, afraid of what’ll happen if I don’t get out of this house.

The first door I get to opens onto the patio, leading to the beach. It’s pitch-black, and the sand is so cold, I shiver. But the sound of the waves draws me closer to the shoreline.

West is right there, by my side. I see the worry in his eyes when the moonlight hits his face, but I don’t want to be touched, and I push him away.

“Piper!” Cannon shouts from the patio.

I pick up speed.

I have no idea what to say to him. All I know is that what I saw made me uncomfortable. I’ve never asked what he does with Tilly. I just assumed it was the kind of sex I was having with West. Sexy and consuming. Not that.

Whatever they were doing is out of character for my husband. It’s so unlike him, I can’t fathom him in such a compromising position. And, if that’s the kind of kinky thing he likes, then he’s married to the wrong girl. I’ll never be able to give him that kind of attention.

West stops to handle Cannon, who’s still shouting my name, begging me to come back. I walk even faster. Tilly joins them, thankfully without the dick around her waist.

Cannon pushes past West and catches up to me. But, the second he tries to lay a finger on me, I bat his hands away.

“Stop it, Piper,” he begs. “Stop and listen to me.”

We’re standing a few houses down from West and Tilly’s. West watches with concern while I’m almost positive his wife is smirking. She’s enjoying this way too much.

“What?” I ask my husband. “What can you possibly have to say to me, Cannon, that will make this better?”

He closes his eyes and exhales a shaky breath. “I can explain.”

“Explain what? I think what I saw was pretty self-explanatory.”

“Tilly’s kinky as fuck, Piper. She’s not like you in bed.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? And don’t blame this all on her. You agreed to it.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he says. “You’re amazing. She’s just…”

He searches for a word that can sum up Tilly. I’m not sure there’s a word for that. The girl can easily become the entire dictionary with a single glance and lick of her lips.

“She’s everything I’m not,” I tell him. “Just like West is everything you’ll never be.”

Like I slapped him, he takes a step back. “What the fuck, Piper? You have feelings for him, don’t you? Like real motherfucking feelings.”

“This isn’t about what I feel or don’t feel. This is about what you did. What you do when I’m not around.” I don’t owe him any explanations. At least not right now. Right now, I need him to answer my questions, not the other way around. And, when I get some answers that make some sense, maybe then I’ll tell him a little bit of my own truth. “Have you done that before?”

He pauses, and I expect a lie to come out of his mouth.

But he surprises me when he says, “Not with Tilly.”

“Meaning what? You’ve done it with someone else? To yourself?”

“Yes,” he says through gritted teeth, unable to look me in the eyes.

“Yes? I asked you two questions, Cannon.”

“The answer is yes. To both.”

My knees give out, and I fall to the sand in front of my husband. West jogs toward me. I see him coming, but I don’t want him to hear any of this conversation. I’m too embarrassed. Too ashamed that my husband has been with other people, living out his fantasies while we played house. I was the queen, and he was my king; only our castle walls were constructed out of lies.

“How could you do this to me?”

“There were no rules about the sex, Piper. You wanted it that way.”

I grab a handful of sand and throw it at him, hoping it gets in his eyes. Maybe then I won’t be the only one crying.

“I’m not talking about Tilly or West. I’m talking about what happens when you aren’t with either one of us. When you’re living this other piece of your life I know nothing about. Who are you when you’re with them?”

“I’m me,” he says as he crouches in front of me. “I’m not gay, Piper. If that’s what you’re thinking.”

“You’ve never been with a man? Even though you like sex like that?”

“Yes,” he whispers. “I have.”

“What does that make you then?”

“Being bisexual doesn’t make me gay. It makes me human.”

My temples throb, and my head feels like it’s going to explode. All these years, I had no idea. This isn’t something that happened because of Tilly. Her fucking him with a strap-on didn’t make him bisexual. It just made him the closest thing to honest he’s ever been. This is my husband’s preference, his taste when it comes to fucking.

“How many men have you been with, Cannon? Don’t lie to me either. I need the truth.”

“We’re not talking about my sex life while we’re on the beach.”

I run my fingers through my hair, ready to rip it all out. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

“Said what?” he asks.

“Your sex life. Jesus, Cannon. How many people are you fucking?”

“Three,” he whispers. “You, Tilly, and one other.”

“A man?”

“Yes.”

“Who is he? How do you know him?” I fire back. But I don’t need his name or any specifics. All I want to know is how he came into Cannon’s life. And how the hell I didn’t notice.

“He works at the courthouse. He’s a lawyer.”

“That’s convenient. How many men have you been with?”

“One at the end of college and one now.”

“Oh my God.” All the guilt I’ve been carrying around about my feelings for West suddenly doesn’t seem so wrong. I’ve been putting myself through hell, wishing I weren’t sneaking around behind Cannon’s back, that I could control my impulses and not get wrapped up in West. And then I find out that my husband has been doing the same damn thing to me for years.

Karma’s a bitch.

A lonely slut who gets what she deserves.

Only nobody ever wins.

“I’m so mad at you, Cannon. All I want to do is punch you in the face and walk away.”

He buries his face in his hands and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. This isn’t how I wanted you to find out.”

I must be blind and stupid. I had to have it shoved under my nose to figure it out. The condoms were a clue, but I just assumed they had everything to do with swinging.

“Why did you even marry me?”

He lifts his head and looks at me like I’m the crazy one. “Because I love you, Piper.”

“Do you love me? Or the idea of us?”

The all-American dream. A successful lawyer, a white picket fence, and children. Thank God we haven’t gotten to kids yet. Because, when you love someone, you don’t lie to them. You don’t keep the biggest part of yourself a secret.

“Both, Piper. I love you, and I love who I am when we’re together.”

Because he’s normal. In his eyes, he’s like every other man his age. He’s not disappointing anyone, and he’s not lying as long as he has me.

My whole body’s shaking, and Cannon can tell. He reaches for me, but I shrug out of his grasp.

“Don’t. You lost the right to touch me.”

“Piper, come on. It’s me. I’m still me.”

“But you’re not,” I tell him as a tear slides down my cheek. “You’ve just been pretending. You’ve hidden a huge part of your life from me, and had I not walked in on it, you never would have come clean. We would have gone home tonight, showered, and gotten into bed together. Everything would have continued just as it was—one big lie.”

“You’re right,” he admits. “But this is who I am. This is who I’ve always been. And you’ve loved me through all of it.”

“Because I didn’t know!” I scream. “You didn’t let me have a say.”

West hears me yell, and he’s moving again.

When he gets too close, Cannon says, “Go home, West. She’s not yours to take care of.”

West doesn’t flinch. He simply says, “If she were mine, she wouldn’t be crying.”

One glance at West, and I know he means it.

The words effortlessly fall from my lips when I turn to Cannon and say, “Find someplace else to stay tonight.”

He gapes at me, shocked that I told him he couldn’t come home. “Where am I going to go, Piper? It’s late.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out. You’ve been doing that for years, right?”

Cannon doesn’t argue with me. He starts walking back to Tilly, leaving me with West.

I still can’t believe Tilly did something so intimate to my husband. And, right away, I assume Cannon opened up to her. How else would she have known he’d let her fuck him in the ass? Tilly knew before me, and that hurts the most.

“You’re cold,” West says. “We should keep walking.”

I let him take my hand and pull me into his arms. I grab him so hard around the waist that I’m surprised he stays on his feet. But he lets me grip him as tightly as I need to and cry as hard as I want against his chest.

“Let it out,” he says. “Fucking hit me if you have to.”

I’d never hit him. He’s the one person I don’t want to beat up. His wife though? I’d probably slap her right now. She’s the one who used that stupid contraption on Cannon. She might have even left the basement door open on purpose.

“You should go home, West.”

“I’m not leaving you on a dark beach, Piper. Your husband might have been able to walk away, but I can’t.”

“Don’t call him that. He doesn’t deserve that title right now.”

“Shit,” he mumbles against the top of my head. “I shouldn’t have taken you down there.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s mine.” I could elaborate, but I assume he heard most of the conversation and came to his own conclusions about the rest.

Suddenly, I’m tired. Just completely worn out. But, no matter how exhausted I am, I know I won’t be able to sleep.

West pulls away and stares into my eyes. What he’s searching for, I’m not sure. He takes his time though, going over every inch of me until he’s satisfied.

I glance down the beach one last time, but there’s no sign of Tilly or Cannon. They either went back inside to finish what they’d started, or Cannon took off.

“You should be at home with Tilly, West. Not with me.”

“You need me more right now.”

God, I needed to hear that from him. It doesn’t make what I saw any easier to comprehend, but it feels so much better than Cannon’s betrayal. And that’s why I let West lead me to my empty house full of lies.