Piper

As soon as the door closes behind West, I cry. I cry for Cannon and his lies and for West and his little boy that never got to meet his daddy. Asher would have had a great life, probably playing hockey as soon as he was able to stand on his own two feet.

I should have hugged West. Should have told him I was sorry and that he wasn’t alone anymore.

I need space, but I’m not going anywhere. If he still wants me, I’ll be here. I’ll never stop wanting to see his smile or feel his touch.

But that doesn’t matter right now. Tonight, I have my own problem to worry about. And he’s currently standing out front, blowing up my phone, because his keys are still sitting on the counter in the kitchen, and I already used the spare hidden outside to get in.

Cannon: Let me in, Piper.

Piper: Give me tonight, Cannon. Please. I need time to think.

Following my last text, my cell rings, and I’m dumb enough to answer. “What?” I whisper.

“Baby, please let me inside. I want to talk to you.”

“I’m not alone, if that’s what you’re worried about.” It’s a lie, but I don’t care. Maybe that’s what I need—to hurt him like he hurt me tonight.

But that only makes him pound on the door harder. “I swear to God, if he touches you, Piper.”

“You’ll do what? Go fuck your boyfriend? I don’t care what you do, Cannon.”

His growl is torturous, and I can tell he wants to get his hands on me. He’d never hurt me, but he wants to shake some sense into all the responses I gave him. Anything to make what he’s been doing seem less like cheating even though that’s exactly what we’ve been doing to each other.

I have West.

He has Tilly and another man.

A man.

“Just leave,” I tell him. “Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

I know he’s not going to leave though, so I climb out of bed and tiptoe down the hallway. When I glance around the corner of the foyer, I see his palm pressed against the glass. If I get any closer, he’ll see me, and I don’t want to cave to his pleading. He needs to stay somewhere else, just like I need to crawl back into bed and think about what I’m going to do with this sham of a marriage.

“Pipes, I love you,” he says. “I love you so much.”

“Did you love me when you were with him? Did you think about me at all, Cannon?”

“You know I did. You’re always my first choice. Always.”

“If you loved me as much as you say you do, you wouldn’t have needed choices. There wouldn’t have been a backup plan or a fallback guy. I’d have been enough. But I’m not.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he pleads. “You’re taking everything out of context. And you’re the one who discovered swinging, Piper. So, what’s that say about me? I’m not enough for you either.”

“At least you could have admitted it,” I tell him.

“I’m not denying who I am. Not anymore. But I don’t want to talk about this over the phone. I need to be with you, and you’ll see the truth, Piper. You’ll feel it.”

“I feel my heart breaking. And I see you for the liar you are. What else is there?”

It’s not a question I want an answer to, so I disconnect the call and end up in the kitchen where I throw my phone on the counter. After I grab a chair from the table, I slide it over and stand on it, so I can reach the top of the liquor cabinet. I usually don’t venture past wine, but tonight, I need something stronger. Something that will knock the pain from my heart and keep my mind from replaying what I saw over and over.

Cannon tries to call back one more time, and then he walks away from the house without another word. I don’t know when I’ll see him again or if he’ll be back sooner rather than later. For all I know, I’ve driven him to the one place I don’t want him to go—another guy’s bed. But, if that’s what he needs, he’ll go anyway. Nothing I say or do will keep Cannon from being with him.

That thought makes me take two shots, back-to-back, not bothering to chase the vodka with anything else. Considering I didn’t eat much today, the burn travels all the way to my stomach, and the rest goes straight to my head.

I hold on to the wall until I’m back in bed with both the wine and the vodka.

Another half hour passes, and I can barely feel my face. The show on the TV screen is blurry, a lot like the inside of my mind.

I’m drunk, and all I want is West. I want him to strip off his clothes and climb into my bed because I’m tired of being the good girl and doing the right thing. Nobody else cares about my feelings, so why should I care about theirs?

Tilly didn’t stop and consider how I’d feel about her using a strap-on with Cannon. She just did it anyway. Cannon took what she was giving him, not caring about my reaction or if I’d find out from Tilly. And she easily could have outed him at any moment because, unlike me, she knew about his tastes.

That’s why I have zero consideration for her feelings tonight. I grab my phone and type out a message to West. Maybe it’s the alcohol talking, but I’m done sitting back and waiting for my life to work itself out.

Piper: I need you.

I worry I’ve waited too long and that he’s asleep. But West responds in less than a minute.

West: Is Cannon there?

Piper: He was. I didn’t let him in.

West: Fuck. I shouldn’t have left you alone.

Piper: Then, don’t.

I bite my lip, smiling at how easily that came out. No debate. No back and forth about whether to send it.

West: You want me to come back?

Piper: I want you to make me come.

West: Shit, Piper. Hang on.

I didn’t think about the kind of trouble this would create for him. It’s late; there’s no way he can sneak out of his own house to come to mine. If Tilly catches him, she’ll know exactly whose bed he’s running to.

But I want him to break the rules for me. I want him to throw on some clothes, grab his keys, and walk down the beach to my house.

West: Are you sure?

I get out of the text message and start taking my clothes off, starting with my shirt. Even though my eyes are glassy and a little red, I grab a handful of my breast and lick my lips for the camera. And then I send the picture of me half-naked to West. If that’s not enough of an invitation, I don’t know what is.

Piper: Please.

West: Meet me on the beach in front of your house in five minutes.

Smiling, I set my phone down and strip out of the rest of my clothing. If he wants me, he’ll get all of me. And then I brush my teeth and hair, and after those painfully long five minutes pass, I open the sliding glass door and walk to the end of the patio, completely naked.

My feet sink into the cold sand, and goose bumps cover my body, making my nipples as hard as glass. The butterflies in my stomach unleash when I spot West jogging down the beach. He can’t see me yet.

My phone vibrates, and I glance at the screen. It’s almost as blurry as the TV was.

West: Come outside.

Piper: I’m right here.

West looks up from his phone and stops moving. And then, slowly, he starts walking toward me again. “Baby, what are you doing, standing outside, naked?”

“Waiting for you,” I tell him as he places his hands on my hips and looks everywhere but my eyes.

It’s the reaction I was hoping for, especially when I slide my hand over the bulge in his athletic shorts and feel how hard he is for me.

“How much have you had to drink?” he asks as he picks me up.

I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. “Enough to know I want to fuck you.”

“Judging by that response, a lot,” he says with half a laugh. “Let’s go inside and get you warmed up.”

“I’m not cold.”

“You’re drunk. You probably don’t feel much of anything, but your skin is freezing.”

“I thought you’d like me naked. Our clothes never stay on long.”

“I love you naked, Piper. You can get naked anytime you want.” He walks us to the master bedroom, a place he’s never been allowed before tonight, and sets me on the bed.

“Does that mean, you’re not done with me? I’ll see you again?”

“We can’t swing anymore,” he says. “Tonight changed everything. You know that, right?”

Looking away from him, I let the truth absorb into the few brain cells that aren’t sloshed. I knew we couldn’t keep the same arrangement. That, once I saw Tilly fucking my husband like that, it was over. I just didn’t want to accept that I’d never get to spend another night alone with West. Because, if I’m being honest, that hurts more than the thought of never sleeping with my own husband again.

“Hey,” he says as he sits down next to me. “That doesn’t mean we’re done. I can’t quit you, Piper. I’m not ready.”

“But you will. Someday.” And that day will hurt. It’ll destroy me. “I need another drink.”

He takes the vodka bottle away from me and shakes his head. “You’ve had enough. And you’re not hearing me. Or maybe I’m not being clear.”

“Then, tell me again,” I whisper. “Make me understand, West.”

West strips out of his clothes and climbs under the covers with me. And then he pulls me against his chest and kisses the top of my head. “Things are a mess right now. I think we can both agree on that. But we’ll figure this out. I’m not walking away.”

I turn in his arms and kiss right over the top of his heart. “Fuck me until it all makes sense.”

“I’ll fuck you tomorrow, Piper. Tonight, I’m just going to hold you until you fall asleep.”