Piper

My head’s throbbing, and my mouth’s so dry. I feel like I ate a bag of flour and washed it down with sawdust.

“I’m never drinking again,” I grumble as I step out of the shower and pad across the tiles to the bedroom.

Cannon’s sitting on the end of the bed with his head in his hands. He looks like he hasn’t slept at all. For some reason, that makes me happy. I’d have been pissed if he had come in here with his perfectly styled hair and ironed suit like nothing had happened last night.

Everything happened.

Our entire world changed.

Because of him. And because I care so much about West.

“How long have you been here?” I ask. When I got in the shower, the house was quiet. “And how did you get inside?”

“I got the spare from my parents’ house,” he says. “Don’t worry, they didn’t ask any questions.”

“Are you staying?” I ask him as I adjust my towel. I’m too naked to be having this conversation.

“I called off work.”

“Why? Won’t you miss seeing your boyfriend?”

I’m halfway to the closet when he shoots off the bed and grabs my arm, spinning me around. “Stop it, Piper. I deserve more than that.”

“You deserve more?” I scream. “You deserve nothing, Cannon. Nothing!”

“I don’t deserve to be thrown out of my house. Or to be treated like I’m some kind of freak because I don’t have a sexual preference. I’m still me. The same man who has slept next to you and taken care of you.”

He has taken care of me. I’ll give him that, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s lied to me.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks.

“Like what?”

“You’re looking through me, Piper. Like I’m not standing right in front of you.”

“Then, maybe you shouldn’t be.” It’s a mean-spirited comeback, yet it’s the truth.

I’ll never be able to look at Cannon as just my husband. Every time I see him, I’ll think about what I saw him doing with Tilly, and those thoughts will lead me to even wilder ones. Like what he shares with a man I’ve never met. A man who knows my husband’s body so intimately, that he can please Cannon in ways I’m not capable of.

Cannon drops my arm and closes his eyes. “I’m sorry I disgust you,” he whispers. “I’ll make arrangements.”

That’s not it at all. I would never hate him because he’s gay even though he swears that’s not what he is. Yes, imagining him with another man is nearly impossible, but that’s only because he’s never been anything other than my boyfriend and then my husband. If we were nothing more than friends, I’d support his choices and all of his decisions. I could even get over the fact that he hid such a big secret from me.

As his wife, that’s just not possible. If we stayed together, he would have to give up that side of his life. But, since it’s not a choice for him, our only option is to separate.

“I’m sorry, Cannon. I’m sorry you’ve had to hide all these years. But I can’t pretend I’m okay with you being with another man while you’re with me. Tilly was one thing, but this is just completely different in my mind. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be happy. I do.”

“But you’re done, right?”

“We’re not the same people anymore, Cannon. Right now, I feel like I hardly know you. We can’t keep pretending we’re okay when we’re not.”

Before I take another breath or say another word, he wraps his arms around me and holds me so tightly that I start to cry. Cannon was my first true love. And, now, he’s about to become my first heartbreak.

He could have saved us this pain if he’d just been honest with me from the start. But, in my heart, I know we never would have made it past the second date. All the good times we’d shared that shaped me into the woman I am wouldn’t have happened. Because of that, I’m almost glad I never knew. Almost.

“I’m waiting for you to yell at me. The way you do when you throw shit and swear a lot.”

“You’re lost, Cannon. I can’t yell at you for that.”

“But what happens when I let go of you, and I’m not here? What will you do then?”

“I’ll figure something out,” I tell him. “Don’t worry.”

“But I don’t want to break you, Pipes.”

“I could yell at you until I was blue in the face, but what good would that do? You’d still feel like shit. I’d cry until I couldn’t breathe. We’d get nowhere. My only regret is that I wasn’t who you needed me to be so that you could have told me sooner.”

“No,” he says right away. “Don’t say that. I spent years hating who I was because all I wanted was to be whole. You made me whole, baby. You. It wasn’t anyone else.”

I’d love to believe that, but the truth of the matter is, he needs two people to be complete. Lately, three even though I wasn’t doing a very good job.

“Cannon, if you keep worrying about making other people happy, everyone will be happy but you. You have to figure out how to love yourself first.”

He sits on the edge of the bed and waits for me to put some clothes on. The entire time I’m dressing, my heart’s racing, but I’m proud of myself for not ripping his head off like I thought I might. He wouldn’t deserve that.

After I’m dressed, Cannon stands back up and holds out his hand. He leads us into the living room, and as soon as I see a stranger sitting on my couch, I take back every promise I just made to myself in the bedroom.

All it takes is one glance, one little bit of acknowledgment, and I can tell the man in front of me is the same man who Cannon’s been sleeping with. There’s a crackle of electricity, a change in Cannon’s posture, and more uncomfortable silence than I know what to do with.

My husband’s standing in the same room with the two people who mean the most to him, and I’m running out of air to breathe.

I feel it.

I notice.

They have something. Something more than just sex.

And that breaks every remaining piece of my heart.

“Get the fuck out of this house,” I tell him. And then I turn to Cannon. “Why did you bring him here?”

“He’s a lawyer, Piper.”

“So what? So are you.”

The man on the couch hands me an envelope. I stare at it for a minute before I take it from his hand. “What’s this?”

“Divorce papers,” he says. “And, if you ever try to keep Cannon out of this house again, I’ll have more papers for you.”

Tears well in my eyes until I can barely see the outline of Cannon. Here I was, thanking my lucky stars he was being civil and I was holding it together, and then he goes and does this. I should have known he didn’t show up to just keep the peace. He finally has freedom, and no more secrets.

Cannon’s ready to live his truth for the first time in his life.

I tuck the envelope underneath my arm and look back and forth between the two of them. “He’s all yours.”

And then I storm out of the house with no clue as to where I’m going. All I know is, I can’t stay here.