West

I can’t live in our house anymore. It isn’t because Tilly and I are fighting. She’s still being cool as hell, and she hasn’t given me a hard time since we separated. It just feels wrong to be sharing a house with her when I’m sleeping with Piper, and Lloyd is drawing up our divorce papers. So, I moved into a hotel about a mile down on the beach and rented their largest suite.

Lloyd tells me the divorce won’t take more than a few months to finalize. The prenup makes things pretty straightforward. We no longer own a home together, so we have no real estate to sell and split. I get to keep everything I brought into the marriage, and she gets a payoff that’s a percentage of what my hockey salary was annually for only the years we were married. She can’t touch any of my investments, endorsement deals, or the businesses I bankroll that now pay me dividends.

That doesn’t mean Tilly is getting fucked financially. It’s quite the opposite. She’s days away from owning her parents’ extremely successful company, and the sum she’ll be getting from me is impressive as hell. Even if I hadn’t bought her parents’ place, she would have been fine. Now, her monthly cash flow will be more than enough for her to continue living the lifestyle she had with me. She’s looking for a house to buy on the beach, and she sold her engagement ring for a brand-new Range Rover.

Since I moved into the hotel, Piper has been staying with me. Cannon wouldn’t leave the house, so she had no choice. He turned out to be a real bastard, serving her with divorce papers the morning after she found out he was bi and having an affair with a man. He’s determined to make this as difficult on Piper as he can, freezing their assets until everything’s resolved. Even though financials in a divorce are divided equally in Florida, he’s trying to fuck her out of their savings. With her not returning to work until August, she’s on a tight budget. I know she had reservations about moving in with me. She’s worried that it’s too soon, and she’s upset that she can’t contribute to the cost of the room. She made me promise that I’d allow her to pay me back half the cost. She even keeps a running tab of how much she owes me for the food I buy.

I don’t want her money. I just want her. And I want her here with me. But, if that’s what makes her feel like she’s an equal in this relationship, I’ll take whatever she wants to give me, and then I’ll hand it right back to her in gifts.

A few weeks have passed since we moved in together, and things have been going better than both of us thought. Time isn’t torturing our relationship. It’s what is making us stronger. But I’m still unsure about my career and where it’ll take me, and that’s weighing over both of our heads.

Florida is Tilly’s home. It’s never been mine. And I’m not sure that I really fit in here. It doesn’t feel like a place I can get used to. The weather’s too perfect, and everything shines a little too much. I need city. Grit. I need seasons and food trucks and honking.

I need Boston.

But that’s my place, not Piper’s. Her family and her job are here. Both make her so happy, and I can’t ask her to give those up. However, my decision to leave will have to come soon because I can’t keep living on a permanent vacation. It just isn’t me. I need to be challenged, to feel the energy that I used to get from hockey.

I’m on the verge of asking Jesse to set up some interviews with the gigs he emailed to me, but first, I want to talk to Eddy. This morning is our scheduled weekly chat, and Piper’s still asleep, so I go out onto the balcony and give him a call.

“West, my man,” Eddy says as he answers. “How’s the weather in paradise? It’s cold as hell here, so tease me with some tropical talk.”

“Hot as fuck already, and it’s not even seven. The beach will be packed soon, and I’ll have to wait in line for over an hour just to score some decent lunch.”

“Sounds like you’re looking forward to it.”

I laugh. “It’s been a nice vacation, but it might be time for me to go home.”

I’m surprised by how much I tell Eddy during our phone calls since I’m not normally one to open up. But what we’ve established over the phone is an understanding of each other’s lives, a friendship where nothing is off-limits. There is no judgment. Just someone to listen, to help me work things out when my thoughts are too clouded. Of course, I usually do most of the talking, but Eddy knows I’ll listen whenever he needs it.

“Really?” he says. “I thought it would have taken a little longer for the city to start calling you back.”

“I miss it, man. Not just the ice. I mean, all of it.”

“Have you watched a game yet?”

The guys are scheduled to play Tampa in a few weeks, and I’m planning on going to the game. Eddy knows that. He also knows I’ve started watching the highlights on ESPN, just enough that I can hear the standings and injury reports and see highlights of each game.

“Not a full one. I’m getting there.”

“You’re doing a hell of a lot better than I was back then.”

I lean over the edge of the banister and look down at the pool. The cabanas are full already, and the waitresses are holding trays of tropical drinks. Within an hour, the music will start blasting, and the beach will be too packed to even find a place to sit. Whether I move up north or not, I have to get out of this hotel.

“I’ve been thinking of taking a trip home,” I say. “Asking Jesse to put some interviews together and seeing how it feels to get back into that mode again. Doesn’t mean I have to commit to anything, but it might be nice to hear their offers in person and see if I like the way it feels to wear a suit instead of a jersey and pads.”

“You know that means you’re going to have to shave your beard.”

“Fuck, forget it then.”

We both chuckle, and I run my fingers through the thick whiskers. I haven’t trimmed it much since I moved here. Piper loves it. I spend so much time between her legs, I thought she’d have a beard burn from the way it rubbed the inside of her thighs. But, no, my girl only wants more of it.

“I need to know something,” I say.

“Ask away.”

“Why didn’t you ever go back to Philly and commentate there? Why did you go straight to Denver and make that your home base?”

I hear him swallow his coffee, a sound he makes throughout all our chats. “Philly wasn’t my home; my team was. I’m from Denver, so when I was forced to retire, it just made sense to go back. My wife is from here, too.”

That’s the difference between us.

Boston is my city. It’s a place that understands my personality; it accepts me. It was there for me long before hockey. Boston didn’t give up on me. I gave up on my town.

“My travels take me back to Philly, and I enjoy it when I get to work there,” he says, “but Denver’s where I need to be. And it sounds like you know where you need to be.”

“I think so. But I have to make sure, and the only way to do that is to go visit.”

“Nothing’s stopping you, man.”

He’s wrong about that. Something is stopping me, and that gorgeous woman is sleeping naked inside my hotel room.

When I met Tilly, she so easily fit into my life. She had nothing to give up, and she moved right in, like she was meant to date someone who was always on the road.

Not Piper. She has a career. Dreams. She has kids who rely on her.

This time, it won’t be so easy.

I might be going to Boston alone, and there’s a chance the move could be the end of us.

“We’ll see how it feels when I get there. Then, I’m sure I’ll be blowing up your phone again.”

We both laugh.

God, it feels good to laugh with someone who understands these struggles.