Vanessa
“Vanessa, honey, are you sure you want to do this?”
I looked at my mom’s. Her wide blue eyes—the exact same as mine—were focused intently on me, and I could tell that she was nervous and scared. Maybe even as nervous and scared as I felt.
“Yes, Mom,” I told her politely.
Mom smiled, but her face was strained and her forehead was creased with worry. “Vanessa, I don’t know what kinds of things go on at college campuses nowadays…” She trailed off. “Just because you’re pre-med, well, that doesn’t mean your peers are going to be so serious and studious.”
“Your mother’s right,” Dad said loudly. His voice boomed around the empty living room, echoing off the walls. “Just because you’re moving out of our house doesn’t mean that you’re going to have to stop living by our rules.” He glanced down at my outfit. “And don’t even think about wearing something like that out of the apartment.”
“Dad,” I whined as I tugged at the hem of my shorts. I was wearing an old T-shirt and a pair of running shorts from high school. We’d been packing up my stuff all morning and I was absolutely exhausted. But I was happy, too: I was finally moving into my own apartment. Well, not exactly—I was going to have a roommate. But the roommate wasn’t going to be one of my parents, and that made all the difference in the world. I knew that at twenty-one, most girls my age hadn’t lived with their parents for a few years. But in that matter—as well as most other things—I was kind of a late-bloomer.
“Vanessa, don’t sass your father,” Mom said mildly. She pulled a handful of my panties and bras out of the bureau and stuffed them in a box. I blushed, but there was no reason to; it wasn’t like my underwear were anything but plain white cotton. “He only wants what’s best for you, and you know that.”
I blushed harder. “I know,” I said. I swallowed hard. “I’m just excited.”
“Oh, Vanessa, you’re going to break my heart.” My mom shook her head. “I hate to think of you going out there on your own!”
“I’m not exactly going to be on my own, though,” I replied as I took some books and placed them in a box labeled Vanessa’s bookshelf.
“How old is that roommate of yours going to be?” Dad narrowed his eyes at me. He wasn’t helping us pack—according to him, that was women’s work—but he was keeping a watchful eye over my mother and myself. “I don’t like the sound of her. She’s been on her own for a few years, right?”
“Her name is Kimmy,” I said defensively. “And she sounds perfectly nice, Dad. Just because she moved into the dorms at eighteen doesn’t mean she’s irresponsible. She probably just wanted to get away from all of her brothers and sisters.”
“I don’t like how young people nowadays are so eager to get away from their families,” my mom said. She frowned as she neatly folded some of my sweaters and put them inside another box. “You know, I didn’t leave your grandma’s house until I met your father.” She turned to Dad and beamed. “He was such a handsome young man, too.”
I rolled my eyes. Mom and Dad were only in their late forties, but the way they talked it was like they were already retired. They were both conservative, very Christian, and lovers of the past. Mom, especially, felt that today’s world was too harsh and unkind, especially to young women. She’d been pestering me to find a husband at college for a long time, but I couldn’t think about getting married right now. After all, I was planning on med school after college, and I didn’t want to think about starting a family before I could start my career. That was how a lot of women wound up staying at home forever and never working. I’d always been driven to succeed. If I hadn’t, Mom and Dad probably would have tried to marry me off to some guy from church as soon as I graduated high school.
“Vanessa, listen to me,” Mom said. When I looked up, I saw that Dad had left the room. “You’re going to be a good girl, right? You’re not going to give me a reason to worry?”
I flushed. “Of course I’m going to be good,” I replied. “But knowing you, you’ll probably find a reason to worry anyway.” I smiled at her; she didn’t return the look. “Mom, relax,” I said finally, walking over to her and putting my arm around her frail body.
“Vanessa, I just…” Mom trailed off and sat down on my bed. A sweater of mine lay unfolded across her lap. “I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” She looked at me with wide, fearful eyes. “I saw on the news some girls at college drink too much alcohol and wind up in trouble with boys. You know what kind of trouble I mean, don’t you?”
“I do, Mom,” I said. I was lying; I only vaguely had any idea of what went on behind closed doors at colleges. After all, I’d only had one boyfriend—Calvin, the guy who’d asked me to junior prom, almost five years ago now. He’d been a year older and we’d dated for the rest of the year, until he’d graduated.
“Well, just be careful, okay?” Mom sighed. She raked a hand through her brown hair that was streaked through with gray. “I don’t want you getting into trouble, Vanessa.”
“Mom, I won’t,” I said, finally letting some of my exasperation show. “I promise. I’m not some dumb kid anymore! I’m twenty-one, and I’m in my third year of the pre-med program! I’ve had all As, Mom! Do you know how hard that is?”
Mom looked at me. She pursed her lips and licked the bottom one, something she did whenever she was feeling extremely frustrated. “I just don’t want you to get hurt,” she said in a cagey voice before standing up and putting my sweater in the corresponding box. “And I’m afraid that you’ll change, Vanessa, into someone that you’re not.”
I frowned. “I’m not going to change,” I said. “Especially into someone I’m not. That doesn’t make a lot of sense, Mom.”
“Just be careful, especially with this Kimmy girl,” my mom replied. “You two aren’t going to be in the dorms, so no one’s going to be looking in on you. And your father and I expect you to maintain your grade point average,” she added. She stood up and brushed her hands off on her jeans. “I’m going to make some lunch,” she said. “Turkey on wheat alright with you?”
“Mustard, please,” I said. “Thanks, Mom.”
She hugged me tightly before leaving the room with my door wide open. I sighed, pushing it almost closed. Mom and Dad had a lot of rules, no closed doors except for in the bathroom among them. I didn’t mind, mostly because I was getting out.
Flopping down on my bed, I stared at my ceiling. There was a poster of a kitten wrapped around a tree. I sighed. I was sick of being such a good girl. Aside from dating Calvin, I’d never done anything that my parents disapproved of. And for the most part, they hadn’t even had any reason to worry. Calvin wasn’t that interested in being my boyfriend.
Reaching over to my nightstand, I picked up my phone and scrolled through the pictures. I’d found Kimmy on Craigslist; she was looking for a new roommate in her two-bedroom apartment. She lived downtown, in the middle of Madison, and I couldn’t wait to live there. Even though the pictures were grainy and fuzzy, I could tell that the apartment was incredible.
“Vanessa!” Mom yelled shrilly down the hall. “Lunch is ready! Come on, you need to eat something!”
“Coming!” I yelled back. Before leaving my room, I made sure to wipe the big grin off my face. I still felt guilty about leaving my parents, and I didn’t want them to know how happy I was. Deep down, I was ecstatic. I just had to put on a sad face for a little while longer and then everything would be different.