Vanessa
“Boo, come on,” Calvin said. He was standing outside of the bathroom, shaking from side to side in my new hallway. The bathroom was small and cramped compared to the one that I’d shared with Kimmy, but at least it was all mine, without her cosmetics and dildo crammed in the cabinets.
“Sorry,” I said. I looked at myself again in the mirror. I was done up to the nines—winged eyeliner, dark mascara, purple eye shadow fading into my brows. Calvin had really gone out of his way to doll me up. I’d called him again once I’d left the library and explained that I’d just gone through a breakup. Thankfully, I hadn’t had to say anything else—Calvin had shown up at the door with a bottle of wine and a bag of makeup and told me that we were planning a girls’ night out.
“You look good already,” Calvin said. “Let’s pregame and forget all about your shitty boyfriend!”
“Ex-boyfriend,” I muttered under my breath as I pushed past him and walked into the living room. Against all hope, I’d managed to find a small one-bedroom apartment on the outskirts of Madison. It wasn’t very safe, and it wasn’t in a great neighborhood, but it fit my budget and that was all that mattered. The landlord had seemed sketchy as hell—they hadn’t done a background check or asked for a security deposit—but I’d been eager to find someone who would accept me. After all, I’d had to hightail it out of Kimmy’s apartment before too long.
I hadn’t seen her since the other day in the motel parking lot. All that time, I’d secretly hoped that Cade would call me and tell me that he wanted to be with me again. It was everything I was hoping for. Even though I’d technically dumped him, I hadn’t stopped thinking about him in days. He was on my mind all the time. I couldn’t stop dreaming of him, of wishing to feel his touch on my body again. I would have done anything for a kiss, just to feel his lips against mine.
The new apartment had come furnished, but the furniture had definitely seen better days. I’d hired a couple of local kids from Craigslist to haul my bed and some of the stuff from the old apartment over, but I was grateful for the free couch and dining room table that the new complex provided. The stuff was straight out of the eighties, nubby brown and tacky as hell, but I didn’t care. At least it was someplace, a place I could call my own.
Calvin flopped down on the couch and poured two glasses of sparkling rosé. “Here you go, babydoll,” he said, passing one of the flutes over to me. “How are you feeling now?”
I sighed. My face felt heavy and sticky from all the makeup and the bandage dress that I’d squeezed into wasn’t exactly comfortable. Still, it felt good to be doing something for me, instead of laying in bed and thinking about how it felt when Cade kissed my neck.
“Not great,” I said. I sipped the wine, then downed the whole glass. “But it’ll be okay. Things will get back to normal.”
Calvin nodded. “I’m sure they will,” he replied. “How is school going?”
I rolled my eyes, not wanting to tell him. School was going like shit. I’d failed all three of my important midterms, and because of that, I was now on academic probation. I wasn’t even thinking of how to tell my parents because I’d barely had a chance to take it in myself. Now, I worried that I was going to flunk out school altogether. And I had no idea what I’d do if that happened. I had no job experience, no marketable skills that would help me out in the real world.
“Not good,” I admitted. “I don’t actually know that I’m going to be able to graduate on time at this rate. Any chance you could help me out with a job?”
Calvin perked up. He poured me more pink wine and sipped at his own flute. “We are looking for a shampoo girl,” he said. “You feel like learning how to do hair?”
I stared at him. Becoming a hair stylist wasn’t ever something I’d thought of before, but the idea wasn’t exactly unappealing. In fact, I kind of liked it. I’d still be working on people, just like a doctor, but I wouldn’t be doing anything life or death. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I’d probably be really good. I’d always been incredibly precise when it came to doing things like that, and it didn’t seem like a terrible idea.
“That actually doesn’t sound bad,” I admitted, sipping my second glass of wine. I’d been drinking more in the past couple of weeks, but I still wasn’t quite used to the warm, cuddly feeling that came over me whenever I’d had a little too much to drink. I understood how people became alcoholics. After my first glass of wine, I wanted another. And after my second glass, I started feeling powerful. It was an addictive feeling.
“Good,” Calvin chirped. “I’ll talk to my boss and let you know.” He rolled his eyes. “Mr. Thing over there decided not to call me back,” he added. “I can’t believe I got stood up!”
I patted him on the shoulder. “Sucks, doesn’t it?”
Calvin laughed. “That what happened to you, too, babydoll?”
I pulled a face. “I wish,” I said sourly. “No. Kimmy ruined everything. She…” I trailed off. It didn’t matter anymore, right? I had no one to keep a secret from. “She told someone that I was dating my boyfriend in secret, and then he had to break up with me.”
Calvin frowned. “I thought this guy was really into you.”
I sighed and pushed my hair off my forehead. “He was,” I admitted. “I actually dumped him.” I glanced down at the floor. “We….he’d asked me to marry him. It would have made things easier. But then this other guy said that he couldn’t stay in his club and have me, too.”
Calvin furrowed his brow. “Were you…dating someone in an MC?”
I blushed and glanced down at my hands in my lap. Calvin had painted my fingernails a bright pink and I had to admit, they did look really cute.
“Yeah,” I admitted after a second. “Kimmy took me to one of their parties a few months ago. I met him there.”
Calvin’s eyes bulged and he looked at me. “Wow,” he said. He let out a whistle and I blushed even harder. “Look at you, little badass girl! You didn’t need me at all!”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said modestly. “We broke up. I mean, we can’t be together. Our lives are too different. You know that, right?”
Calvin sighed. “Babydoll, if it’s love, of course you can be together.”
I sighed. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” I said. “Can we just go out already?”
Calvin nodded. “I’m taking you to the coolest place,” he said. His eyes got big and I noticed for the first time that he was wearing mascara and eye shadow. “You’re just going to die!” He grabbed my arm and pulled me up off the couch. As much as I tried to copy his mood, I couldn’t. Calvin’s good humor was usually infectious. But as soon as I started trying to have fun and relax, Cade’s face popped into my mind.
Thirty minutes later, we were waiting outside of a painted brick building in downtown Madison. There was a huge line of people snaking around the club and I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered. It was finally starting to get cold for the winter, and I realized that I’d need to buy a new jacket. A thought crossed my mind that made me want to cry: Cade holding me in his arms, wrapping a flannel sheet around my body and helping me stay warm.
The thought disappeared as I glanced up at the dark, moonless sky. Clouds were racing across the horizon and I realized that we were probably going to have a bad storm soon.
“Is this place cool or what?” The line started moving and Calvin squeaked with excitement. He put his hands on my shoulders and jumped up and down.
“Yeah, I guess,” I said with a shrug. The line pushed forward and we were suddenly in the entrance to the club.
Everything was painted a bright, true red and the lights above us were dim and tinted. I had to really squint to see everywhere, and I could barely see Calvin’s face even though he was standing right next to me.
“I don’t really like the look of this place,” I said softly.
“Oh, come on,” Calvin teased. “Don’t be such a wuss.” He linked his arm with mine and marched me forward towards the bar. As I glanced around the club, a shiver ran through me. Were these the kinds of places where Cade dealt E? What if he was here right now, working for the Prophets?
The thought sent a ripple of excitement through me. Thinking of seeing Cade filled me with half elation, half anxiety, and I began to glance around through the crowd, looking for his muscular frame and messy blond hair.
When Calvin handed me a glass of something pink and floral-smelling, I hefted it to my lips and chugged. The wine from earlier had already worn off, I wanted some real liquid courage, just on the off chance that I did wind up running into Cade.
“What do you think?” Calvin turned to me and practically yelled in my ear. “Isn’t this awesome?”
I looked around. The dance floor was full of couples dancing together, some grinding on each other, some a few feet away making elaborate movements through the air with glow-sticks and bright flashing lights.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled. “I don’t really know if this is my scene or not.” The alcohol bubbled through me, warm and sticky and comforting, and I tried to move my head along to the beat of the music. What would happen if I really saw Cade here? Would he be mad at me? Would he beg me to come back?
I pouted when I realized that I had absolutely no way of knowing.
“I’m going outside,” I called over my shoulder. “I wanna get some fresh air.” Without waiting for Calvin to join me, I darted through the crowd and through the big double glass doors of the club. The nighttime air felt cool and crisp and I closed my eyes, slowly walking into the parking lot and letting my shoes drag on the asphalt.
“I miss you,” I said aloud. My eyes watered up with tears and I blinked before looking down. “I miss you so much.”
Obviously, there was no answer but I felt chills glide through my body nonetheless. As I walked further and further away from the pulsing beat of the club, I heard a sound behind me like a twig snapping. Suddenly, I was afraid. A chill of fear ran down my spine and I shivered. When I glanced over my shoulder, a man in motorcycle leathers was walking towards me with a leer on his pale face.
“Hey,” I said shortly. “I don’t have anything on me.” I stepped backwards, feeling a wave of anxiety crest over my body.
The guy grinned. He reached out with both hands and beckoned towards me. When I shook my head, he stepped closer. “Come on,” he said with a big grin. “I ain’t gonna bite you.”
“No,” I replied. I swallowed hard, feeling my body shake. “Leave me alone!” Breaking into a run, I let out a screech of fright as a strong hand wrapped around my arm, gripping my flesh. It was a hand stronger than mine, and although I struggled, the man eventually pulled me close and wrapped his arms around my body. A putrid smell of stale smoke and booze washed over my face and when I looked up, I was horrified to read Demon Catchers on a patch on the man’s jacket.