Chapter twelve - Tom
“Let me get this straight. You’ve always been the love-them-and-leave-them kind of guy. What makes you think anything is going to be different with this one? You are easily bored and will move on to the next potential conquest.” Logan was standing with the first couple of buttons on his shirt undone and a noticeable hickey on his neck.
“I’ve never been this close to anyone or anything. I want to explore what we might have together. To paraphrase, she gets me more than anyone. It might be a little complicated, but I can’t seem to stop thinking about her.” I was amazed by her resiliency in the face of someone twice her size.
“I don’t want you to do anything foolish. Getting involved with a human female brings about all sorts of unpredictable consequences.”
I wanted to taste her kiss one more time. I had to see the moment of ecstasy in her eyes. “I’m not saying I want to spend the rest of my life with her by my side. What could you possibly have an objection to? I would think you would want me to be happy.” I looked out of the window, down at the little people going about their daily day on the sidewalk. I could easily crush them between two fingers like insignificant insects underneath my thumb.
“I have always wanted you to be happy, but this may not be the answer. The rest of the shifters will take exception to you being involved with anyone that isn’t your kind. I’m only suggesting you be careful and not take things too seriously.” He was usually more frivolous about his advice, but this time there was a modicum of seriousness to his warning.
“I’m not going to allow anybody to stand in the way of my happiness. This is the first girl in years to make me feel like a different man. I look in the mirror and I don’t recognize the person looking back.” I strode with confidence back to my desk, thinking it was over.
Logan wasn’t about to let me get the last word. He came and stood right in front of my desk with his hands firmly planted on top. I tried to ignore him, but he was waiting for me to recognize he was there. He drummed his fingers, which was definitely getting on my last nerve. It was like somebody raking their nails down a chalkboard.
“You are going to listen to me. What you’re doing is suicide. I have to be the voice of reason when you don’t know the consequences.”
“This isn’t the first time. It’s rare but it does happen.”
He wasn’t going to let it go. “There is precedent, but none of those relationships lasted. Their acceptance of our kind is mostly a blink of fascination before they run screaming in the opposite direction.”
I pushed back from the desk and stood to face him like two adversaries in the squared circle. I didn’t want to hear any kind of negativity to throw cold water on my parade.
“You can’t stand there and think this is a good idea. What happens when the Alpha gets wind of this ill-advised relationship? I’ll tell you exactly what happens. He will give you an ultimatum or most likely threaten the very life of the woman you claim to have feelings for.”
I knew he was right, but to admit anything of the sort would have left me in a weakened position. “I don’t need to listen to this. Let me make this perfectly clear so there is no miscommunication.” I grabbed him by the neck and held his gaze to make sure my conviction was strong enough for him to see. “Roseanne is very important to me. I don’t care about the consequences.” I pushed him away with a little bit more force than was necessary.
He was propelled over the chair and landed with a resounding thud. I was worried I had taken things too far. He got back up without a scratch.
“I might have overestimated your feelings for her. Promise me you won’t make any grand gestures without thinking it through from every angle. I will always be there to listen to you regardless of my personal opinion.” He stood and brushed off his clothes. “By the way, if you ever put your hands on me like that again we’re going to have trouble.” He wasn’t screaming or throwing a fit in rage. Logan was clearheaded and did not feel it was necessary to exchange blows.
“I will take everything you say under advisement. Tempers have flared. Things have been said in the heat of the moment that I regret. It pains me to have us at odds. Our friendship has survived many hardships.” I was trying to keep a civil tongue.
“I don’t think you hear me. Your judgment is clouded behind rose-colored glasses. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you. You are better than that.”
I stood my ground, but I knew that I was on a shaky foundation. “I do hear you loud and clear. Nothing has to be decided right at this minute. It might not amount to anything, but I would kick myself if I didn’t find out.”
He was shaking his head and muttered underneath his breath, “I hope to God you know what you are doing. One slip and everything you have built could tumble down around you.”
His words cut me like a knife, but I knew that he was doing it in my best interest. He was always looking out for me and nobody was a better friend than Logan. I had no idea what I wouldn’t do to protect him from those adversaries willing to put their money where their mouth was.
“My feelings for her have blinded me to the truth. It is rather self-destructive of me to unilaterally make this decision. I will consider backing off if things get serious. It’s the only answer you’re going to get from me.”
He was standing at the door with his hand on the knob. He stopped momentarily to adjust his tie. “I want you to remember this conversation. Sometimes it’s better to speak in a lower register than scream it from the top of the building. A little discretion goes a long way. Don’t make anything public and you won’t have anything to worry about. Your secret is safe with me.”
“I have always appreciated your wise counsel.” I felt like I was coming out of the darkness and into the sun. He was always there to give me a wake-up call.
I wanted to feel the warm breeze of her breath on the back of my neck.
It was time to break away from the monotony of the daily grind. I had gotten too caught up in business to see how my feelings could overwhelm me. It was a risk to be with her. It was something I felt like I needed to do.
“If you feel you are drowning, then, by all means, I will be there to throw you a lifeline. We haven’t been to Montana in about a month. There’s not much time before the full moon in five days. We can’t be in a populated area when that happens.” Logan was giving me fair warning.
Business was nothing compared to the happiness I found in her arms.
“I will be ready to leave.” I’d spent a lot of nights restlessly turning in my bed reaching out for the empty and cold spot on the other side.
“I’m going to hold you to that. I’m going to leave you with one crucial piece of information. The Alpha is always watching. There are spies everywhere waiting to pounce on their opportunity to climb into a position of power. Don’t give them the satisfaction.”
“I’ve known for quite some time there are eyes and ears everywhere.” I was careful, but being reckless with abandon was becoming a guilty pleasure. “We may not be able to see them, but the Alpha has in the past used humans to trap unsuspecting prey. I’ve always considered myself as strong as the Alpha. I could easily take his position when he vacates it.”
The only way that was going to happen was with his imminent death. I wasn’t even the first in the line of succession. It would’ve taken a hostile takeover the likes the bears had never seen before. I wasn’t ready to maneuver myself into a necessary battle to the death.
“I wouldn’t say that too loud. He might consider you a threat and have this need to eliminate you before you become more than a voice in the crowd. He has the numbers and we are barely on his radar. I would like to keep it that way.” Logan was apprehensive about taking on an entity like the Alpha. I couldn’t blame him for his reaction.
“Those who have tried to take it from him by force have regretted it. It’s just talk.” I moved closer to him and whispered into his ear. “It’s only talk until my plans come together. We’ve always been about looking at the bigger picture. The pieces on the chessboard are going to take some time to maneuver in our favor.”
Logan was always happy to make sure my feet were firmly planted on the ground. He nodded and we touched foreheads in a bond that was deeper than brothers. There was only one I could trust with my grand scheme. I could only hope his friendship would persevere regardless of my self-destructive streak.
I wanted to be free, but it wasn’t that easy. The only way to get out from underneath the Alpha’s thumb was to pry it loose by bodily force. This relationship with Roseanne came with some pitfalls yet to be discovered.
“Tread very carefully. You are walking on thin ice and you don’t even know it.” He closed the door, but I knew he wanted to emphasize his feelings by slamming it.
He wasn’t about to make a scene and have rumors swirling about dissension amongst the ranks. His words stung like somebody had slapped me across the face.
It came over me suddenly and without warning. I stumbled and knocked over a priceless artifact from the Ming dynasty. The vase shattered upon contact with the floor, scattering into a million pieces. It was one of my favorites. The colors would change during the course of the day.
My bones began to crack and the transformation was more than just painful. It was excruciating. I was always able to control it, but this time it rivaled the full moon. I felt the effect of the beast clawing its way to freedom.
My body began to expand, stretching against the material of my suit. It would’ve been quite problematic had somebody walked in at that moment. The door wasn’t locked and the possibility of getting caught was making things impossible to contain.
The sound of my shirt and my jacket ripping down the middle had me falling on my knees. I looked down at my hands to see the claws stretching from my fingertips. I slammed them down onto the floor, digging in and leaving behind a reminder of what happens when I didn’t hold things back.
“Mr. Snowdon… is everything all right in there?” Clara must’ve heard something when she was walking by the door. I stared at the door with my eyes ablaze in yellow.
“I’m perfectly fine. There’s nothing to worry about. I tripped and broke something.” I could still hear her heartbeat outside the door. She must’ve been debating on whether or not to come in. She decided against it.
Her footsteps receded and then they returned. She swung the door open and found me sitting at my desk, shuffling the papers in front of me.
“I don’t appreciate you barging in unannounced. I would rather not be disturbed.” I was hiding my features.
She took a few tentative steps forward before deciding to air on the side of caution. “I apologize. It will never happen again.” She left and I was able to calm the chaos in my mind.
It was a good thing the windows were tinted so that nobody could see from the outside. Anybody with a high-powered pair of binoculars or telescope would’ve gotten a rude awakening.