The next day, I was pacing back and forth in Sammy's bedroom after spending all night trying to decide if she was who I should talk to, or whether I should just lay it all on the line with my mother instead.

After realising I couldn't put Mum through any more heartache or worry – not until I knew for certain what I was dealing with – I turned to my best friend for the one thing I never even dreamed I'd need help with.

She was sitting on the edge of her bed looking up at me, while I chewed on the corner of my thumb and tried not to think about the expression on her face.

My limbs were shaking as I somehow kept myself standing. I needed movement. I'd stayed too still for too long.

Eventually, Sammy sighed long, hard and torturously slow, her voice similar to that of a big sister's when she spoke.

“That sounds...”

“Stupid?” I offered, head down, nail in mouth.

“Intense.”

“It was definitely intense,” I whispered, pushing both hands through my hair as I turned to look out of her window. My eyes found the sky instantly, and all my thoughts turned to Lizzy as I watched the clouds glide along, cutting through the perfect blue of our English summer. “Beautiful, intense and stupid.”

“From the look on your face, I'd say you missed off steamy, too”

I didn't have to respond. The shuffle of my legs as my stomach tightened at the memory told her enough.

“I can't believe you didn't tell me straight away.”

“I had my reasons.”

“Yeah, the main one being that you weren't safe and didn't use protection.”

“I told you. I didn't even think about that until he told me after you left us together yesterday.”

“Who'd have thought it? Alex Law, the biggest mystery among us all, and you've...”

“Don't,” I begged quietly, briefly closing my eyes before I turned around to look at her.

“Sorry,” she muttered, her hands suddenly becoming very interesting as they fell into her lap. “So let's talk about what you possibly do have now.”

“I'm thinking.”

“About what?”

“Remember all those years ago when we first did all the sex-ed stuff? Didn't we get told in biology class that it's actually really difficult to become pregnant?”

“Umm. It doesn't seem difficult for some of the girls in year thirteen.”

“But how many times will they have had sex?”

“Ha! You want me to try to count on one pair of hands and two feet?”

“Exactly! Mr. Newman said something about the chances of everything falling into place at the right time being tiny, and people thinking they can get pregnant at any time of the month being one of the biggest misunderstandings in a teenager’s informative years.” I pulled in a breath, suddenly clinging on to the small hope that all the statistics would go in my favour.

“Mr. Newman, everybody. Encouraging underage pregnancies since 2009.”

“I'm not underage,” I hit back a little too seriously.

“Not now. But who knows how many guys walked away from his class telling their girlfriends they'd be fine to let the train pass through the station for twenty days out of thirty.”

“Good point,” I mumbled. “But that's not relevant to the here and now.”

“I don’t understand how any of this is relevant, Nat.” Sammy stood up, walking over to me slowly before placing her hands on my shoulders and moving her head in all directions until I accepted that it was my eyes she was searching for. “Statistics don't matter. A pregnancy test does.”

“It's not even been a week. How am I meant to wait until it's time to test? I'm going out of my mind here, Sam. Another day of this and I'll be chewing my nails down to my elbow.”

“When was your last period?”

“What?”

“You heard me. When was it?”

I couldn't think properly. My eyes scrunched tight in annoyance as I tried to focus. It felt like a lifetime ago already, but that wasn't anything out of the ordinary for me. My body had been a late bloomer, and the foundations of it were still settling in. “I don't know.”

“Think harder.”

Blowing all the air out of my cheeks, I remained still and focused. “May sometime? Beginning of June? No, definitely the end of May.”

“And we're now heading into July.”

“So?”

“So that means that the chances are slim, even though it is still possible. It all depends on what your cycles are normally like.”

“Screwed up and unpredictable.”

“Just like their owner.” She grinned. All I could do was roll my eyes and try to hide the small nervous smirk that was trying to break free.

“Doesn't the tone of my voice tell you anything?”

“Can't blame a girl for trying to make her knocked up bestie smile.”

My hands found my hair again, digging into the scalp as I tensed at the elbow and let out a growl of frustration. “Sammy, I can’t have a baby. I can barely take care of myself, and Alex is… well, he’s no better than I am. What the hell am I going to do?”

Sammy's hands fell away from me, and by the time I'd let my body relax again and looked up at her, she was once again sitting on the edge of the bed.

“There's only one thing you can do.” I stared at her blankly. “You have to wait.”

My eyes closed again without thought, and the tension in my body poured out as I stood there quietly, trying not to panic over our plan, or lack thereof. “Wait,” I repeated.

“If Mother Nature doesn't make an appearance within a week, I'll buy you a test, and we'll figure the rest out when it's time.”

“Okay.” I nodded in defeat, not really sure what else I could do before I walked over to her bed and fell in place by her side.

Sammy was one of the most loyal, beautiful people I'd ever known, and just knowing she was on my side gave me more strength than she realised. Her protective instincts kicked in and her arm wrapped itself around me, pulling me closer until my head hit her shoulder.

“Everything's going to be okay, Nat.”

“Is it?”

“You bet your life on it.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because of the fairy tale. This is just your blip. Every story has one.”

My smile was small but I could not have loved her more for being the one to bring it out, not even if she'd have been able to hand me a negative pregnancy test there and then.

Just as I was about to thank her, the sound of footsteps outside her room had the two of us turning around to face the door.

“What the–”

It flew open in a rush, and a tall, stocky figure burst through, his arms in the air as he flicked his overgrown curly black hair away from his eyes.

“Honey, I’m home!” he bellowed like he owned the place.

Sammy inhaled sharply, her squeal of excitement bursting free before she pushed herself off the bed and went to throw her whole body around the man in the doorway.

“Marcus, you’re back!”

Marcus? The last time I had seen Sammy’s older brother had been two years earlier, right before he left for university, and he was forty percent shorter back then and a lot less muscular. My scowl of confusion was firmly fixed in place, but so was my smile as I watched the two of them embrace one another.

Sammy had always idolised Marcus. He was where she got her snarky side from and you only ever used to have to see them walking side by side to see the adoration in her eyes as she looked up at him, copying everything he did, including that silly swagger he used to have when he was a skinny, little runt of a kid.

It was almost hard to believe that the boy I remembered then and the man standing before me now were the same person.

Marcus spun his sister around, his grunt of laughter falling free as he finally set her feet back down on the floor and rubbed the top of her head a little patronisingly.

“You missed me, sis?”

“Have I missed you?” she asked, slapping his chest with feigned annoyance. “Why would I miss you? I mean, you’re only my older brother. You never call, you never write, not even a sodding email or a response to all the funny meme pictures I send you on Facebook. No. I haven’t missed you. Not one bit.”

“I see someone’s sarcastic streak is as alive as ever.” He smirked, pulling away before crossing his arms over his very defined chest and scanning his little sister from head to toe. “And you’ve fucking grown! Shit.”

“Two inches.” She picked up the edges of her t-shirt and began to sway from side to side.

“And how many pounds?” He chuckled, dodging her second slap perfectly.

“Arsehole.”

“I’m kidding.” He laughed, wrapping his arm around her neck before he pulled her into his chest and ran his knuckles over the top of her head.

“Get off me. This is abuse!” Sammy cried out, her grin and lack of struggle to break free showing that she loved every second of his torment.

“Better get used to it, sis. You’ve got eight weeks of this shit to put up with from me.”

“Eight weeks?” Even though her head was tipped down, you could see her eyes light up with excitement.

“Yep.”

“You’re home for the whole holidays?”

“Yep.”

Finally managing to break away, she jumped back, blew her hair out of her face and tried to catch her breath. “What happened to Thailand? I thought you were travelling with some friend before going back to your third year at uni?”

Marcus planted his hands on his hips, expanding every muscle he owned from under his tight, black t-shirt. I swallowed quickly, looking away for just a moment in case he caught me staring like a fool. “I decided I’d give it a miss.”

“But why?”

“I’ve got lots of reasons, kiddo. I just don’t want to bring the cloud of doom over our reunion. You mind if we talk about it later?”

“Women problems?”

“Something like that.”

“Are you okay?” Sammy asked quietly, all humour disappearing quickly as she took a step forward, causing me to glance up cautiously from the corner of my eyes.

“Better than ever.”

“Then we can talk about it later,” she agreed, the smile she was wearing not doing anything to cover up the hint of worry in her voice. My poor best friend – she was having the weight of the world dropped at her feet by the two people in her life who should have been doing everything in their power to protect her from it.

My hair fell forward into my face, forcing me to push it back behind my ear during their moment of silence. The movement of my body forced the bed to creak beneath me, and my arm froze in place. I wasn’t sure why. I knew Marcus from growing up around Sammy, albeit from a distance, but I knew him all the same. I guess I just felt like I was intruding on something I shouldn’t have been a part of.

“Bollocks, sorry,” he muttered, “I didn’t see you there.”

My brows rose before I turned to him and pressed my lips together, offering him a lifeless smile while I remained mute like the idiot I didn’t want to be.

Marcus narrowed his green eyes on me, the confusion swirling in them matching my own as I tried to hold his gaze. But it was too much. The obvious scrutiny I was under caused my head to dip instantly as my mind flew into a panic. Could he see what I was trying to hide – the ex-virgin girl that could possibly be about to become just another teenage pregnancy statistic? My arms wanted to curl around my stomach protectively, but I kept them in my lap instead.

“Have we met?” he eventually pushed out.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Sammy beat me to it. “Don’t be a moron, Marcus.” She laughed, forcing me to look up at them both while I just sat back and watched their exchange.

“What?” he asked, turning his attention back to her briefly, but I could feel his stares every time his eyes flickered my way. “I’m being serious. She looks familiar.”

Sammy rolled her eyes. “You know damn well who it is. It’s Nat.”

“Nat?” His eyes widened and when he unleashed them on me with full force, I wondered just how much I’d changed in two years for him to not recognise me anymore. “As in, Natalie Vincent? Little Nat who never speaks?”

My defences shot up immediately, and I turned my body in his direction. I was about to argue that I did, in fact, speak all the time, but the reality was that I’d been sitting there as quiet as a mouse since he arrived, and he hadn’t even noticed my presence, which somehow said it all. I was proving him right, and that really got under my skin.

“Hey, Marcus,” I said pathetically, cringing at the sound of my own croaky voice.

“Now she speaks,” Sammy said through a cocky smirk, folding her arms over her chest.

“I hear her.” He paused, and his smile began to grow. “I see her, too.”

No one said anything for a while. All I could do was return his smile and wait it out, but when the tension grew and the awkwardness refused to shift, I took that as my cue to leave. He had come home to see his family and his sister, and it was only fair that I let Sammy enjoy her time with him when it came about so rarely.

Pushing up from the bed, I leaned awkwardly to one side, effectively cutting Marcus off from my view as I looked up into Sammy’s eyes. “I’m gonna take off. I have things to… do.”

Her hands reached up to my arms as she gave me that look of hers – the one that she’d been giving me far too much over the last few years. “I’ll call you later, okay? This conversation isn’t over.”

I smiled at her and threw in an out of place, lazy wink. “I didn’t expect to get off that lightly.”

“You know me well.”

“Thanks for everything,” I whispered before I leaned in to give her a hug and squeezed her tight. I could feel her desperation to help me in her hold, and I knew that my phone would be ringing off the hook now until I… we… had some answers.

When we parted, I turned to leave, only to find a wall of Marcus blocking my path. My body almost stumbled right into his, but I somehow managed to hold myself back. He was standing with his arms across his chest once again, and I was forced to look up at him when we both sidestepped in the same direction four times in an attempt to go past one another.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

“Don’t be.” He smirked.

I finally slipped past him all at once, keeping my head firmly down as I made my way out of Sammy’s house and began the walk home.

There were too many thoughts dancing around in my mind when I finally got outside and sucked in the close summer air. My stomach swirled with all the conflicting emotions I couldn’t get control of, and I was starting to feel a little motion sickness, like my life was riding on one big ship and the waves beneath me were getting wilder and wilder.

Even in those moments of such chaotic uncertainty, my only real concern was Alex.

I wondered where he was that day.

I hoped that he was safe.

Reaching around to the phone in the back pocket of my jeans, I pulled it out and looked down at the screen as I walked. My fingers brushed over it until I’d found his name and number staring up at me invitingly. All I wanted to do was phone him, hear his voice and speak freely, the way we used to before everything got so messed up. I wanted to tell him how I’d struggled to even tie my own shoelaces that morning. I wanted to make him laugh with stories of things my father had said at the dinner table, and I wanted to let him know that my mother kept asking after him, the way she always had done.

But his name didn’t look as simple as it used to. He was no longer Alex, my friend. Now he was Alex who owned half of my heart, and if I was being honest with myself, I’d known all along that the first Alex had never truly existed. His friendship had never been what I’d wanted. He’d made his way into my veins from the moment ‘I promised I’d make sure you got home okay’ slipped out of his mouth.

As I glanced up at the sky and squinted against the bright blue, I let out a sigh that held the weight of the world in it and pushed my phone back into the pocket of my jeans.

Today it was time to make sure I got home okay all by myself.