I think if some of Natexus’ readers have the same reaction to this story as my beta readers did, there will be a few of you out there now who have absolutely zero desire to hear from me or what it is I want to waffle on about. I apologise about that. I am sincerely sorry. I’m sorry if I confused you, pulled your heart in a million different directions, made you question your own morals, and I apologise for making some of you cry.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Not really.

Suck it up, buttercups. I had to write the thing. How do you think I felt?

Natalie started speaking to me sometime around last April. I was halfway through my edits for Without Mercy with L.J. Stock, and the last thing I needed was a heartbreaking love story playing out in my head that just would not shut up. So after much grunting and mumbling to myself about “stupid characters that won’t shut their pieholes”, I decided to write the first chapter, not really knowing what would happen or where it would all take me. I thought that once a single chapter was done, I could finish Without Mercy then come back to Natexus if and when I chose to. Let me tell you right now – I did not choose to. I never had a choice with this story. Never. It felt like I was writing this because of someone else’s instruction the entire way through. One chapter soon turned into ten, and by chapter thirteen (that chapter) I was terrified about what the hell was happening. What was I putting down on paper and why would anyone want to read such angst? With a little help from my guardian angel friend, LJ, I realised that if I wanted to carry on writing it, then maybe, just maybe, people would look beyond the structure of most love stories and realise that Nat and Alex are in a world/glass case of emotion all of their own.

A few months later and it was finished.

I’m pretty certain some of you will hate it, haha. I’m also sure that some of you will sit staring at a wall for quite some time thinking ‘what the hell did I just read?’ But I hope… I really do hope… that some of you out there take Nat, Alex and even my lovely little Marcus to their hearts. They will forever be lodged in mine.

In fact, they own it.

I’ve already touched upon my thanks for L.J. Stock. Wilma. Weezy. That friend of mine that doesn’t let me lay down, roll over and quit. That person that, even when I’m trying not to let the rest of the world see I’m struggling, somehow seems to know and swoops right in with a Rocky quote to pick me back up. She does every single graphic for every single book I’ve ever done, and I trust her with my life. I could gush (quite embarrassingly so) about this woman until the world ended. But I won’t. It makes her feel uncomfortable. I’ll just whisper ‘I love you, Wilma,’ to her here and leave it at that. ;)

Claire Allmendinger, Heather Ross (Bobatron/Robbo) and Katleen Bumpernoodle (told ya I’d get it in there)

There’re people who talk the talk and then there are people who walk the walk. You guys deliver for me every single time. EVERY TIME! I’m not nearly rich enough yet to shower all three of you with the gifts you deserve for all the editing work you do for me, but I’m working on it. Tell all your friends about Natexus and maybe we can make some dollar, hey? thumbs up But seriously, the way you give me your time without question, well… it’s just mind blowing. I don’t know why you do it. I don’t know what possesses you to look after me the way you do with that extra sprinkling of care, but I promise you that not a day goes by where I’m not grateful for it, and more importantly, you. Thank you for being the world’s best editors. makes heart shape on chest

Wendy Shatwell.

I’m not mad at you for threatening to kill me, but I will say this: The horse’s head in the bed was a step too far, lady! LOL. I can’t thank you and your Bare Naked Words baby enough for all that you do for me, WuWu. You were my first call when I released Izzy, and you’ll be my first call no matter how many years I’m doing this indie gig for.

Beta Readers

Sue, Amy, Charlie, LJ, Bob, WuWu, Claire, ELJ and Katleen. Thank you for all you do and for offering up to spend your free time reading my torture. Thank you for those WA messages that told me you believed in me. Thank you for making me believe in myself, for making me smile, and for generally being quite bloody fabulous. What more can I say? I love you.

Family and Friends

It’s really hard for me to keep listing you all in these acknowledgements of mine, but let me just say that if you’ve ever offered me even a single word of encouragement, no matter who you are, what way you offered it, or how often we speak, trust me when I say you are worth your weight in gold. I didn’t truly know what I was getting myself into with this writing malarkey. I never knew how lonely it could be, how crippling the self-doubt was, or how one tiny bad comment can bring months of hard work to a halt. Those moments where you’ve picked me up with an encouraging smile, a tap on the shoulder or even a ‘you got this, Vic’ – they pick me up more than I can explain. So thank you. My life would be shitty without you. I guess Christmas would be cheaper. You tip the scales in your favour, though.

Readers and Bloggers

I am nothing without you. ‘It’s that simple.’

CPCCH Unit

I really am nothing without you. One day, imma take y’all to DisneyLand. *nods*

Thanks for putting up with me. My love for you isn’t something I can put into words, so this blank space is for you.

(________________________________)

Mum, Dad

Thanks for doing the things I’m so rubbish at doing for me. My car loves you, as does my laundry basket. And thanks for being epic grandparents to my babies.

I love you guys.

Thanks so much for reading, everyone. It means the world to me. Your forever starts today. Make it count.

Victoria L. James

Literary Sadist.