It had been two weeks since I had last seen her. I knew she had moved to Hyde Park Gardens because her funds wouldn’t be released unless I signed the agreement. Before I had done that, I asked to see the place she wanted to buy and also asked for my own copy of the house keys.

It was her first time living alone. I wasn’t convinced that it was a bright idea, knowing she was a woman who was dating. Stella demanded I set her free and I had done just that, but now she wanted a divorce? That was unlikely.

I let myself into her home and waited for her. After an hour and a half, I was getting impatient. It was almost one in the morning, on a Tuesday; where the hell was she?

My body froze when I heard the faint sound of the keys jiggling… and laughter. Her laughter along with another man.

Brilliant. Just want I needed, another fight.

Their laughter ended when they spotted me, standing there, brooding as I awaited her return.

The man spat out, furious. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Her husband,” I causally said, looking at Stella.

Her date spun around to face the shocked Stella. “You’re married? Are you fucking kidding me, Stella?”

She opened her mouth, hating me on sight. “William, it’s not what you think. I’m getting divorced soon.”

“Fuck!” William frowned as he gazed at me then at Stella. “Well, call me when this whole thing is over. The next time I kiss you, I want you to be a free woman. Single.” He sagged a bit before we watched him retreat, letting himself out of the flat.

So the bloke’s name was William. He’s number what now? Fifteen? Twenty? She was bent on spreading herself around. Each man she dated was fucking with my brain. Throw this whole divorce fiasco in, so that she could freely do as she pleased, and it wasn’t happening for me at all. My mind wouldn’t allow the possibility to exist. She wasn’t divorcing me until she was twenty-six. That was the agreement and I was sticking to it.

“How many William’s are there going to be in your life, Stella? Haven’t had your fill of fun yet? Either way, you’re going to be married to me for four more years.”

She tensed, flashing her eyes at me, breasts heaving. “I’m going to contest it. I want to have full financial control of my assets. It would be best for the both of us. We will be free of each other.”

Stella was challenging me to the point where I usually became ruthless, something I had vowed not to do when it came to her. “You could try, but I’m telling you now, you won’t win against me.” I paused, letting my words sink in. “Besides, that’s not what Richard wanted.”

“I know, but he’s not here to see how miserable I am! I’m all fucking alone!”

That wasn’t true. “You have me.”

“I don’t want you, Callum. So stop acting all chivalrous. I’m sick of everything. I want a new beginning.”

She was throwing everything back in my face, but I was ready to compromise so that I could have her back in my life. “Let me take care of you. I made a—”

“You vowed, you promised my brother that you would. I KNOW!”

“Stella.” I moved towards her, but she raised her hand, making me stop.

“No! I want a new life. Maybe someone new. Heck, maybe I could get married again and have lots of children then maybe I wouldn’t be alone anymore.”

“You’re married to me. Do you hear me? You’re married to me.” I pressed her against the wall with no chance of escape.

It was make or break from here.

“Did you… did he—William—did you guys go any further other than kissing?”

“Why? If I told you I did, what would you do, Callum?”

She was goading me. “Did you?” She was the master of avoiding direct questions. I loathed it.

“Like I would tell you. What’s the difference? From where I’m standing, I’m not obligated to answer anything.”

I growled. “Damn you. Stop torturing me.”

“I’m torturing you? That’s fresh!” Stella hissed at me. “You have done nothing except torture me after that weekend. Who cares if Derek, William, or whoever else, kissed me? Who cares if I’m enjoying their caresses… or when their having sex with me? That’s none of your business.”

“You went all the way?” My hands slowly slid off the wall, feeling weak and beaten. “You—” I couldn’t even finish a sentence because I was having a hard time grasping at the thought of her enjoying another man… pleasuring her… fucking her as she begged for more. Stella was mine.

She was mine… but I had been too arrogant and past blinded from my own misery to see how much I wanted her in my life. Now I was paying the price. I was hurting, gutted all the way to the core.

Stella looked panicked, but quickly recovered.

I flinched when she cupped my cheek, stroking it. “Cal?”

I was at a loss. I had never felt so helpless in my life.

“Cal, say something…” she pleaded, nervously biting her bottom lip.

I watched as her teeth let go of it. It changed from pale pink into cherry red and I stood here, craving those lips like I’d never longed for anything in my life.

My eyes scanned her beautiful face, tracing, memorizing and yearning all at once before I stopped and stared into her soul, pleading for the umpteenth time. “I want you to give me a chance.”

“A chance… for what precisely?”

This was it. She was asking me to lay everything down… what I could bring and offer her. I simply hoped it was enough. “To be worthy of you. Because I could be. Just give me a fair shot.” She looked unconvinced, but I wasn’t finished yet. “I can’t get you out of my head. You’re stuck in it. I want what we had before, Stella. I want that simplicity of being you and me.” We were marvelous together. My father had to come in and wreck what I had again while my poor choices afterwards had driven her away.

“I want to make amends for my past mistakes. I’m not ready to let you go. I’d do anything. I swear, I will try harder.” I wanted to reach out and touch her, but I was too frightened that I might not be able to control myself and devour her. That would throw away any chances I had left of getting her back. “I can treat you better than Derek or any other man out there. Stay, stay and live with me.” My chest felt like it was going to combust from the emotions running rampant inside me; my thoughts rankled at envisaging her with those men. “I need you.” Badly. Desperately.

It seemed that my pleas weren’t being heard. Stella simply looked like she had made up her mind. I watched in agony as tears pooled in her stunning eyes. “I’m sorry, but I can’t,” she whispered, unyielding to my needs, wants and desperation.

I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel yet… one more…

“Why? Tell me, I’ll make it all better. If you want me to take some weeks off work so we could spend some time together, I would be more than willing. I won’t even drive any sports cars, knowing how much you hate me driving so fast. I could trade it in for a four-door vehicle. All you have to do is tell me.” Each word was shot out one after the other while I watched her tears fall down her face. “Tell me, Stella, anything is better than your rejection. I won’t settle for that. I just bloody won’t. I’m not ready to let you go. We’re not over.”

Unconsciously, my forehead touched hers. The sudden effect of her skin and her smell brought out sadness that I couldn’t explain. Yet, there I was, full of melancholy. “How could it be over, when I barely had you? We’d barely even begun…”

“No.”

I felt her breath against my lips. She was so close, yet so fucking far. I was having a hard time reaching her. “Then tell me what to do because I’ll do it.”

Stella moved her face to the side, tears freely flowing before she tested how far I’d go to get her back. “Love me.”

Love. Did it always come back to that? The word sent me to Heaven and Hell. It shot me into darkness. For years, I was imprisoned in its cells—it’s begrudging grasp—but Stella had made it all go away. So if it was what she was after… then I had no choice. “All right, if that’s all it takes for you to come back, then I love you.”

Stella’s palm flew and connected to my cheek before she pushed against my chest, making me back off. “Do you think this is a fucking joke?” she hissed like a banshee, eyes wide and ready to draw blood.

What the bloody hell? “It’s what you wanted!” I shot back, rubbing the spot where she had slapped. “It was what you asked, wasn’t it?” I frowned, baffled at her reaction.

“It is, but I want it to be real, Cal!” she raged on. “So don’t insult me by your half-hearted attempt of pretending that you do! Not only is it insulting, but it’s downright humiliating.” She sniffed. “We both know that you’re not capable of giving me that. That’s why we’ll never work. I want to be loved, too. That’s not so much to ask, is it?”

No, of course not. She deserved everything… but I could give her everything except for the love that I didn’t feel in my heart. “Stella…”

“Please. Leave.”

Hope was diminishing before me quickly and I was grasping at threads. “Stella, listen to me please.”

She shook her head, unwilling. “No, Callum. This is where it ends.” She strode towards her bed and sat down with her back to me. “If you care for me at all, if you wish me happiness, you’re going to sign those papers so we can both move forward.”

I growled my frustration, past knowing what to do any longer. Divorcing Stella wasn’t on the agenda. “There’s no fucking talk of divorce,” I thundered out, meaning every word of it. “I’d rather rot than let you marry another man.” If she wanted me out of her life, unbinding herself legally from me wasn’t an option.

“Have it your way, just get the fuck out. I don’t want you here.”

Right, she was ejecting me out of her home. “We have to finish this.” I tried to reason, however she was beyond my reach.

“Get. The. Fuck. Out.”

Stella wanted me gone. Out of her life. What more was there to do when she simply was on a mission to find herself another man? If she truly loved me at all, she wouldn’t push me out knowing very well that I wanted her in my life. It counted for something, but to her, it wasn’t enough.

I wasn’t enough.

My eyes gathered her sobbing form. Each racking sound gutted me inside out. With a deep breath, I silently bid her goodbye. I wished her the best and hoped that she would find the kind of happiness and love that she longed for so much.

I suppose I should be glad that I wasn’t in love with her because if I was, I was sure another problem would arise that would separate us. It was a good thing then, wasn’t it?

At the end of the day, we saved ourselves from wasting time on each other.

Each step I took dragged me back into the luring pull of the darkness, back into its familiar embrace.

I was a man who had everything… and yet, I felt like I was worth nothing.

Just like old times, I mused when I saw a missed call from Andrès Franco. “Welcome back to your old life, Callum,” I muttered as I dialed the call back button.