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Now and Forever: A BOX SET OF STANDALONE NOVELS by Ann, Pamela (51)

Drew

“You doing something tonight? I’m going out with the boys, and you’re more than welcome to come.” Jackson called out behind me even though he knew Spencer was the last person I wanted to spend my Saturday night with.

Clearing my throat, I spun on my heel and faced him. “I have this dinner …” I heard myself say while my mind wandered toward Chloe and where she might be heading for this date of hers.

Jackson nodded, saddened that I had declined his invite. “Aiight. Well, you might change your mind, so I’ll text you the spot just in case you wanna swing by later or whatever.”

Making an effort to look more interested, I tried to smile before running a hand through my hair. “Yeah, bro, that’s cool.”

What a fucking mess. Jackson was reaching out, and as any good friend would, I should meet him halfway, but I couldn’t. Fuck, my mind was going a hundred miles per minute, wondering what the fuck had just happened.

Had that really been Chloe Armstrong? The girl I had looked after all these years? The very same girl who had followed me wherever I went? The one who had taken great pains that one summer to learn surfing just so she could be around me all the time? The once sixteen-year-old girl who had tried to hide her tears when she’d found me kissing someone else, but managed to give me the brightest of smiles the next morning? That woman in the red dress was not the same woman I had left aching for my kiss.

My little cupcake was growing up, and I wasn’t sure how to handle her … or myself for that matter. Everything in me was going haywire, going mental. I wasn’t sure if I should chase after her or be the man I ought to be and let her live her life as she should. It was a fucking conundrum, one I had yet to figure out.

Chloe was beautiful before, but with this new transformation … She had become a siren who gave zero fucks about anything, which was troubling more than anything. I had been gone almost a week—six days to be precise—and I came home to this.

From the way she’d used those smoky, enchanting eyes to those pouty red lips, her body language, and her silky skin on proud display, everything about her had screamed one thing and one thing only: SEX. She had radiated it with confident gusto. Fuck, she had even smelled like it, too.

Before this new transformation, I had been successful at blocking myself from giving in by losing myself to booze and countless women. At this instant, though, I was beginning to doubt my unyielding perseverance.

It was disgustingly shameful how I felt toward her. She was Jackson’s baby sister. Heck, at one point, I had treated and seen her like she were mine, too. Nevertheless, as the years had worn on and with my uncontrollable testosterone raging, it had become hard not to notice her.

Her presence put me at ease, calming me when my mind was a stressful riot. Beautiful Chloe with a smile that would sometimes make me forget my own pain, filling the dark void with her laughter and kindness.

Before my grandmother died, she was the one who took care of me when my own mother was oblivious to everything around her. Years of drowning in alcohol and drugs could do that to a person, so when she died, I didn’t have much to mourn, because she had barely been present in my life. Even still, the darkness, the loneliness she left me with hadn’t abandoned me since. It was Chloe’s persistence and kind words that made me decide to do something with my life.

Then the attraction grew, though I hid it for as long as I could … until that one night. I lost all control, gave in, and it had been hell to live my life, knowing I couldn’t give her what she sought from me. I didn’t want to get too close, because every woman in my life I had cared about had died. Keeping her at arm’s reach was safer for the both of us.

But tonight, this uncontainable anger possessed me the second I walked in and found out she was going on a date, looking like a sex kitten ripe for the picking. My dick twitched at the sight of her. I didn’t have to guess what would occupy the guys’ minds the moment they laid eyes on her.

And those boobs. Don’t get me started on those. Fuck. They looked so fucking deliciously good, mouthwateringly perky, soft, and just the perfect size for my hands to grab on to. The old Chloe was beautiful, but this newly evolved metamorphosis version of her was unsettling me more than I liked to admit.

It shouldn’t affect me, but it did.

The way she looked at me tonight, as if I mattered so little, as if I were a pest she couldn’t wait to discard and get away from. Seeing her react to me like never before … Well, that kind of hurt. I didn’t expect her to be so defiant, so cold and disinterested.

I muttered something incoherent as I strode to my room. So much for coming home early, hoping she and I could talk about what had happened last week. Little did I know she had meant it when she’d announced she was considering dating other people. I had thought I would be okay with it. Fuck, I even encourage it. Obviously that backfired.

It’s hard enough that I hated myself for feeling this strong attraction toward her. I couldn’t just forgive myself for being the fucking idiot who promised her a week ago that I needed time to man up to be in a relationship with her when I’d had no intention of fulfilling that promise. It had been a mad impulse, stemming from jealousy that she was thinking about other guys. And finding her with that arrogant fucktard hadn’t helped the demons that were already hounding my head. Tonight, she had added some motocross fucker onto that stupid list.

My head pounded so hard I felt as though it was about to implode.

After losing control that night I had taken her virginity, I had vowed never to cross that line again. And I had been successful at taking care of her without any regards to my needs. In my mind, it was my way of making amends for stealing what hadn’t been mine to begin with.

But having images of her moaning while under another man’s body made it hard for me to breathe. It was as though something were suffocating me, as if my insides were being ravaged by some foreign matter, and I had no way of stopping it from eating me alive.

“Fuck!” Hissing as I took my shirt off, I was taken by surprise when a knock rapped on my door, giving me a short reprieve from spiraling out of control.

I was heaving heavily when Jackson popped his head in.

“I’m heading out,” he said casually.

Making a careless nod, I ran a furious hand through my hair, despising myself over how things were between us. “Cool. I’ll see if I can come by later.”

“Yeah,” he said warily. “I guess it’s a good thing she’s going out—Chloe, I mean. I’m glad she stopped crushing on you, you know? Not like anything was going to happen ’cause she’s like a sister to you, too, but I don’t think she cared much about it.” He laughed with blatant relief on his face. “She’s not your type, thank God. I would’ve been weirded out about it.”

Swallowing the large lump in my throat, I tried to act detached and casual, as if this conversation were boring me to tears. “Yeah, me, too.” A strained laugh came out of my mouth, though I felt no less than a fraud. If he only knew what I had done to his sister, he would probably murder me with his bare hands.

“Aiight, then.” He tapped the doorframe before throwing me a nod. “Hit me up or whatever.”

“Yep.” I blew out my response, relieved he was leaving so no one could witness how fucked up I was.

Upon his departure, my mind ran rampant with thoughts again. If being pulled in both directions weren’t stressful enough, apprehension had seized me as I weighed the possibility of Chloe really going all the way with this biker dude tonight. She wasn’t that type of girl. I knew she wasn’t. Regardless, considering how Spencer had almost gotten what he’d wanted by caging her against the wall, I supposed it was inevitable once she had alcohol in her system. Add in the other major factor that she was responsive as hell, bent on making a valid point, and horny beyond recognition, and she was the perfect candidate for hitting the sack with some guy she found attractive and shared some decent amount of chemistry with.

Basing from her look earlier, I didn’t have to guess wildly. She was attracted to the guy, and I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I decided to jump in the shower, hoping it would cool my head and give me a new perspective.

That trick didn’t do much to abate the inferno.

Once I got out, my mood and temper had shifted from worse to bedlam. I didn’t bother drying myself before I hunted down my phone to check where she was right this instant.

It disclosed that she was presently in a restaurant, most assuredly enjoying her date with biker dude, probably flirting her way through each course, teasingly biting each morsel while letting the guy eye-fuck her from across the table.

Fuck! Triple fucking shit. She was screwing with my head, and for the first time in my sinful life, I had no idea how to make it fucking stop.

She was getting through to me, and not just physically and mentally. Chloe was giving me the feels, and I didn’t appreciate it one fucking bit.