“My favorite views have left me, and replaced themselves with you.”
Hayley Stumbo~
It was supposed to snow tonight, and I’d always been a fan of the snow. The atmosphere outside was statically charged, and the heavy chill from earlier had dissipated into the warm before the storm. I liked how, right before a storm blew in, everything seemed more vivid. Colors stood out against the gray overcast, smells were sharper, cleaner somehow. Melissa stood out, too. There was no way I would have missed her walking by that storefront window in her deep red sweater and dark blue jeans. The sky had lowered, dipping its dark fingers between the buildings, blotting out any last remnants of the setting sun. She’d been framed by the glass, and I might’ve been crazy for thinking it, and Liam would’ve definitely called me a pussy, but I’d loved how perfect she’d looked holding her nephew’s hand, and how, for a fleeting second, I’d let myself think about what a life with her, and a child, would be like.
We were about an hour and a half deep into our “double date,” and I’d let that fleeting thought filter through my head again like an idiot. It wasn’t normal, and I recognized that, but listening to Melissa and her nephew had me thinking about shit I shouldn’t. All three of us were lying on our backs, out of breath, inside a huge bounce house shaped like a beer can. After we’d been here for about fifteen minutes, I’d figured maybe this wasn’t the best place for a nine-year-old. Adult themes and rowdy college jocks were everywhere, but Melissa hadn’t seemed to really mind, and now she and Jordan were laughing hysterically and all I could do was turn my head and stare at them. Several loose strands had managed to escape from her braid, and I watched as they tickled the skin of her neck. Her caramel cheeks were pink from exertion, and her lips spread in a broad smile. I was bewitched.
Her laugh sputtered when she turned her head and caught me gawking.
“What?” she asked and a cute dimple formed on her cheek.
“Nothing,” I lied.
I couldn’t tell her what I was thinking because it was fucking nuts. I wanted this woman way too much.
Melissa cocked her brow. “Nothing?”
“I like you in red.” I changed the subject. So smooth.
She giggled and my heart absorbed the sound.
“Yeah?”
“Mm-hm.” I nodded and sat up.
Jordan was watching us. His smile was quiet, and curious. He was a cool kid. Smart and funny, and I swore, he could totally pass for Melissa’s son.
“Doesn’t your Aunt Melissa look pretty in red?” I asked, and Jordan’s nose pinched like he’d smelled something awful, and I had to stifle a smile.
“I guess,” he said with a shrug and stood, as well.
I offered Melissa my hand, and when hers slid into mine, the warm, silk touch sent a shock up my arm.
She was laughing when she stood. “Thanks, kid.”
Melissa was still finding her balance when I closed my fingers around her small waist. I held her with a firm grip as I lowered my mouth to her ear. My cheek brushed against hers and I felt her shiver as I whispered, “You’re fucking beautiful.” I kissed her cheek as I pulled away. “Come to think of it… red is now my favorite color.” She rolled her eyes, but the blush in her cheeks told a different story.
The floor of the bounce house shifted suddenly, and Jordan’s laugh filled the small space. “Come on!” He jumped, jumped, jumped, and almost crashed into us.
“He’s crazy, I don’t know how Maria does it.” Melissa gave me an apologetic look, and I just chuckled.
“I like Jordan. He makes me feel young.”
“Well, you are kind of immature.” She bit her lip and my eyes fell to her mouth.
“And?” I asked as I let go of her waist and took a few large steps backward. She glared at my retreating form. “You know you love it.”
She shook her head as Jordan grabbed her hand.
“Come on! Come on! I want to jump into the foam pit before I have to go home.”
I looked down at my watch. Maria had texted Melissa ten minutes ago, saying she’d be here to pick Jordan up in the next thirty minutes. It was probably for the best if we met her outside. I was worried she’d give Melissa a ration of shit for bringing her kid to an adult establishment.
“Foam pit?” Melissa asked as I bounced a few feet closer to her.
She giggled as she watched me. I would never get tired of that sound. I’d bring her to all the most juvenile places in the whole city if it kept her smiling at me like she was right now.
“Let’s do it.”
It was about fifteen minutes later that I’d decided that Jordan really was the coolest damn kid on the planet. It was official.
“I’m impressed,” I admitted as we all walked toward the front of the building. “That flip was fantastic.”
Jordan looked up at me with huge blue eyes that reminded me of Declan, and something in my chest pulled at the strings attached to my heart.
“It was so cool!” he shouted and Melissa laughed. “How come you didn’t flip into the foam pit like we did, Aunt Mel?”
“Because I value my life.”
I smirked. “She is kind of old, Jordan.”
Melissa narrowed her eyes when Jordan snickered, but her lips parted into a sexy smile as she whispered under her breath, “Cabrón.”
Jordan gasped and Melissa cringed.
“Aunt Mel!”
She frowned when I took her hand in mine. “You just won babysitter of the year award again. You’re on fire tonight,” I teased.
“The kid shouldn’t even know what that word means.”
Jordan ran past the ticket counter and hollered, “Mom!”
A woman who looked just like Melissa, but with fuller curves, longer legs, and an aged expression stood staring at us. For a moment, I felt unsure. Should I drop Melissa’s hand?
But Melissa tightened her grip as if she was reading my mind and said, “Deep breath… she doesn’t bite… hard.”
Maria trapped me in her stare and then again lowered her eyes to our linked fingers. I offered her my free hand once we approached her and she took it.
“This is Kieran,” Melissa said as she introduced us.
“Nice to meet you, your son is freaking amazing… very adventurous.” My smile wavered when Maria’s eyes flashed with shadow.
It was so quick I would have almost missed it, but then she flicked her gaze to Melissa, her voice sounding almost sad as she said, “He doesn’t get that from me. Adventure was always Mel’s thing.”
Melissa dropped my hand without a word, her face drained of color and laughter, and moved to the shelves that housed our shoes. I was missing the point, and the tension was thick in the air, but Maria’s smile grew as her eyes floated along my body and then back to my face.
“Thanks for letting Jordan crash your date.”
“Mom, I did a full flip into the foam pit,” he boasted and I chuckled as I rumpled his hair.
Maria’s face lit with warmth, the hard lines around her eyes softened at the gesture.
“You did?”
His head fell forward and backward with dramatic animation.
“Yes, and then Kieran did, too, but Mel wouldn’t.”
Melissa handed me and Jordan our shoes, and when I looked down, hers were already on.
“You wouldn’t?” Maria asked Melissa, her brow cocked with disbelief.
“Someone had to be the adult tonight,” Melissa said, and I was happy to hear the humor had returned to her tone.
The familiar, sassy sound of her voice drew my eyes to hers, but inside the usually warm brown color, something was off, and unease unfurled inside my stomach. Melissa wouldn’t look at me as we said goodbye to Jordan and her sister. I told Jordan we had to hang out again, and Maria agreed as she shook my hand, giving her sister a pointed stare. I saw Melissa shake her head in my peripheral vision. Maybe it was some girl code, some secret sister approval shit I didn’t know about. Maybe they were having a silent conversation about me, either way, it made me nervous.
Once Maria and Jordan disappeared through the front doors, I slipped on my shoes and asked, “Ready for dinner?”
She didn’t answer right away. Melissa watched her nephew and sister until they passed by the window. She exhaled and swallowed a couple of times, and finally said in a thick voice, “Sure.”
She offered me a small smile and moved toward the door.
“Hey.” I reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “You okay?” My brows furrowed when she swallowed deeply again.
“I’m great.” Her smile was shaky, but at least it was there. “I’m just hungry.”
“Good, because the recipe I have for my mother’s stew makes enough for a family of five.”
Her laugh brought color back into her cheeks and removed the anxiety from my shoulders. But that was short lived, because once we were outside she dropped my hand. The heat evaporated from my skin leaving a cold distance between us as I walked her to her car.
Melissa was quiet and I’d hoped whatever had been bugging her would have been cured by my mom’s famous Guinness stew. We were both sitting at the breakfast bar in my apartment in silence. Melissa was slowly stirring her spoon through her bowl, and I watched as the steam lifted and hovered above her food.
I cleared my throat and plastered on my best easy-going smile. “So, do you plan on telling me what’s on your mind? Because as much as I love a good awkward silence…”
She looked up at me with big brown eyes, her lips curling up at the corners, and said, “I’m a fan of awkward silence, didn’t I tell you?”
She sucked on her bottom lip, trapping her nervous smile and I chuckled. “Actually, you left that part out.” My smile dimmed. “Everything okay?”
“I’m just nervous, I think.”
“Or you hate the stew?” My eyes flicked to her bowl.
Melissa finally gave me a real smile. “Hell no, this is actually really good.”
“You sound amazed…”
“I wasn’t expecting this. You’re a single guy who took me to a bounce house place, I figured all I’d get was pizza or the standard guy spaghetti.”
My head tipped back as I laughed. “Standard guy spaghetti?”
She giggled and all that worry I’d been chewing on disappeared. “Yeah, my ex… it was the only thing he could cook.”
She scooped a spoonful of stew into her mouth and I ignored the “ex” statement for the moment as I said, “My mom taught me how to cook. Declan was always… off in his own world, and Liam was too busy supporting our family, so I got stuck helping Mom cook, but I’m glad for it.”
“I used to cook all the time, too. My father taught me all the family recipes, and when I was little, Maria and I would help him in the kitchen at the restaurant. I’ll have to make you dinner sometime.” She avoided my eyes, keeping her head down, and thick lashes dusted her cheeks as she blinked.
“I’d like that. Chinese has always been my thing, but Liam finally dragged me to the food truck down the street for tacos a couple of weeks ago. Holy shit, the food was amazing.”
“I’ll make you my pork carnitas tacos. Those food trucks can be authentic, but… I’ll win you over.”
She already had. “I’ll hold you to it.”
She actually snorted, which made me smile like an idiot. “I have no doubt,” she said and then scooped another spoonful of stew into her mouth.
I took a few bites, mulling over my next question. Melissa knew pretty much everything about me. I was an open book, always had been. My life was simple. I’d give her a tour of my small apartment later, maybe even the shop, but right now, I wanted the spotlight on her, I needed to get inside her head.
“How long were you with your ex?” I asked with as much nonchalance as I could muster.
The spoon in her hand hovered over the bowl for a second before she lowered it.
“A long time,” was all she offered.
I exhaled a long breath and she looked at me. “I just want to know you,” I said and her brows dipped.
“I met Chance when I was sixteen… we… we got into a lot of trouble together, but he was all I knew, for a very… very long time. We were together until he died seven years ago.”
Melissa’s eyes held mine and my mouth went dry. “Shit, I’m… sorry.”
The deep coffee color of her eyes shimmered and she looked toward the kitchen window. I followed her gaze and it was then I realized it had started to snow. Big, fat flakes were falling through the yellow light of the street lamps outside. It was like someone had dumped a bucket of feathers just beyond the glass.
“Don’t be. He was lucky he didn’t die sooner.” She sucked in a jagged breath and turned to face me. “He overdosed.”
She said it like it was a confession. Her eyes were wide, waiting for my verdict, waiting for absolution.
“On purpose?” I could hardly speak. Visions of Declan’s suicide attempt assaulted me. The anger, the fear I’d originally felt when he’d tried to take his own life, pumped the chambers of my heart in rapid succession all over again. Melissa shouldn’t have had to deal with that… no one should.
A tear spilled over and ran down her cheek. “I don’t think so… but I don’t really know for sure.” Her shoulders fell, her posture sinking along with my heart. “He liked to party… and I guess he’d partied too hard that night.” She wet her lips, and I cupped her cheek, my thumb wiping away her tear. “He wasn’t happy though, neither one of us had been happy for a long time.”
I wanted to know more. I wanted to know every horrible detail, but she leaned into my hand and closed her eyes. “I don’t want to talk about Chance,” she whispered.
“Okay.” I kept my voice steady and she opened her eyes. I brushed my thumb along the hot skin of her cheek one more time, my lips pressed against her forehead, and when I pulled back, her face was weary.
“It’s been seven years, Kieran. He’s dead, and my past is unchangeable, so I’d rather not revisit my old ghosts. They can stay dead with him.”
The words were on the tip of my tongue, all the questions bubbled in my chest. Her past was just as important as her future. It had made her into the person who was sitting next to me on this stool, and as far as I could tell, she was strong as hell. “You’re right, the past is unchangeable, but I hope you know, whoever you were then, doesn’t matter to me, it’s just another piece of you, and I want to see all the pieces, Melissa, good or bad.” When she wouldn’t meet my gaze, I stood from the stool. I wanted her to look at me again. I wanted those eyes to smile, her cheeks to match the rose color of her sweater, so I decided I’d pried enough for one night. “I’m going to grab another beer. Can I grab you another bottle of water?”
Her head lifted, all the dark clouds of her history parted and let her light shine through. She smiled up at me, relief easing the set of her spine. “Another water would be great.” My hand wrapped around the back of her neck as I leaned down and kissed her like I’d wanted to all night.
Her lips were salty, but her tongue was sweet as it swept across my lips. A soft breath warmed my mouth as I pulled away. She pinned the corner of her lip with her teeth as I stood to my full height.
“After we’re done eating, I’ll give you the grand tour, and if you want we can go downstairs and I’ll show you the shop.” I glanced at the window. “Well, if the weather lets up.”
“I hope it does. I hate driving in the damn snow. My tires are basically a death trap.”
My heartbeat roared in my chest as an idea formed on my lips. “You should stay here if it doesn’t stop. I don’t want you to have to drive in this weather. Or I can take you home, bring you your car in the morning.”
Melissa raised her eyebrows. “You’re not driving in this either. I’d feel like an asshole making you drive back and forth.” Her scowl was cute as I handed her a bottle of water and then twisted the cap off my bottle of beer. “Plus, you’ve been drinking. I’ll be fine. Born and raised in the snow.”
I sat down and playfully pulled on her braid. “Sorry, chick, you’re stuck with me for the night, there’s no way in hell I’d let you leave in a blizzard.”
“Is this some elaborate scheme to get into my panties?” she asked and I almost spit my beer across the counter.
I coughed on the bitter ale with a laugh as I asked, “Am I that obvious?”
She shoved my arm, and I smiled. The heavy weight that had plagued us on and off throughout the night was gone.
“If I stay I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“Not happening, I’ll sleep on the couch and imagine how hot you look in the shirt I’ll let you borrow, lying in my bed, all wrapped up in my sheets.” She blushed, and I gave her a cocky grin.
“Nah.” Melissa sipped her water, her lips spreading into a smile as the bottle fell from her mouth. “I’ll sleep on the couch and imagine how hot you look, lying in your bed, half naked, thinking about how I’m just a hallway away... half naked, too.”
Well, fuck.