Sean doesn’t even wait for his food. After dropping some cash on the table, he leads the way out of the restaurant. My heart has climbed all the way up my throat, and I can’t even think straight.

“Follow me to my place?” he asks in the parking lot.

His hands are in his pockets, and he looks so chill and carefree. Is it a facade? Is he really freaking out on the inside, just like me?

No, I realize. This is a hookup. It’s probably normal for Sean. Well, barring the baby part. Other than that, this whole day could very well be standard practice.

“Yeah,” I answer. “I’ll follow you there.”

As I climb into my car and follow Sean’s motorcycle onto the road, I’m dimly aware of the fact that I should probably continue to question this choice. It’s a giant one—something I can’t undo.

But I’m done questioning. What I’m doing today is for me, no one else.

And that feels better than anything else has in a long time.

I want this. Not just the baby, but the Sean part as well. Maybe getting a taste of him will cut down on my desire.

Not seeing him afterward will help as well. Though when it comes to that, there are still details to be ironed out. Keeping as much space as possible between us is probably the best idea.

Sean’s building is new, a towering monolith in the middle of downtown. Climbing out from the car, I squint my eyes and gaze up at it.

“Let’s take the elevator.” Sean’s voice makes me jump. Somehow, he’d come right up behind me without my noticing.

“Okay,” I answer, afraid he can hear the shaking in my voice.

Inside the building, everything is just as fresh. The paint glows and there are no nicks or marks on the walls.

“My roommate won’t be home for a few hours,” Sean explains, unlocking his door. “Hopefully that’ll give us enough time.”

I catch his eye, noting the grin there. It’s just what I need. My anxiety dissipates, and I laugh.

“Awfully confident, aren’t you?”

He shrugs. “I have good self-esteem.”

His response makes me giggle again, and for a second, I’m taken back to ten years ago. It’s the old Sean and me, just hanging out and shooting the breeze. This isn’t a stranger. Despite all the years that have gone by, this is someone I know and trust. Not with my heart, but with other things.

Remembering that makes the next breath easier to take in.

The living room is extremely minimal, with a long couch and some exercise equipment in it. Sean goes right past it and to one of the doors on the far end.

“This is my room.”

I look over his shoulder. “Wow.”

“What?”

“It’s so…um, clean. Organized.”

“Right. I guess you’re remembering my room in high school.”

“Uh-huh.”

I step into the room, my gaze raking over the walls. The military must have really changed him, because the Sean I knew couldn’t keep track of anything to save his life. This bedroom looks like it was just styled for a magazine. With a queen-sized bed covered with black pillows, a pristine desk, and a few movie posters on the walls, the place has character, but is also unassuming and simple.

“Do you need anything?”

He’s close behind me again, his voice making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up straight.

“No, I’m…good.”

Sean takes a slow step forward, landing in front of me. He’s so tall and broad. With him over me, I’d be completely covered.

Will be, I correct myself.

This is still so crazy. I can’t believe it’s happening, but there’s no going back—because I don’t want there to be.

I lick my dry lips, lifting my face up to his. Unexpectedly, he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. It’s such a sweet gesture, reminding me that we’re not strangers.

But I also don’t know how I feel about that. I’m not here for a deep, intimate connection. I’m here for one thing.

Well, two. A baby and a good time.

“Are you ready?” he slowly asks, his voice gentle.

I nod. Before I can take another breath, his mouth covers mine. The soft yet firm way he claims my lips makes me gasp in surprise. Sean needs no encouraging. He presses his palms against my back, holding me close as he explores my mouth.

I press my own hands to his chest, absorbing the warmth radiating from him. As we kiss, his fingers wind their way through my hair, then down over my shoulders and hips. The ball of nerves I walked into the apartment with transform into a ball of heat instead. With each of brush of Sean’s fingers and each flick of his tongue, the warmth grows.

I twist my fingers in his shirt, eager and ready for more. He seems to know just what I want and loosely wraps his arms around my waist as he walks me backwards.

We land on the bed with my legs dangling over the side. I expect a quick undressing, but Sean is just as deliberate as he was before. Climbing over top of me, he gently rests his weight on top of mine as we continue the kiss. Spots of lights pulsing behind my closed eyelids, I twist my fingers through his thick hair. So many times, I’ve fantasized about doing exactly this.

Sean’s mouth breaks from mine with a hungry gasp. Hearing his noise of desire makes my own need ratchet up, and I buck my hips against him. He pays that part of my body no mind, though. His lips are on my neck, kissing and sucking heartily as his fingers splay out across my stomach.

He pushes my shirt up and over my head, exposing my bra. My nipples are tight with need, noticeable even through the bra cups. With a growl, Sean reaches behind me and undoes my bra, tossing it to the floor.

Leaning back, he takes a moment to drink me in. His gaze roves up and down my body, the attention making me shake with even more anticipation.

For a second, it seems he might say something, but then he leans back down. His lips close over one of my nipples, making pleasure twist through my whole body. As his mouth lavishes attention on one breast, he gently twists and pinches the other one.

I arch my back and grab hold of the blanket beneath me. No one has ever touched me like this before. With other guys, it’s like they’re just grabbing my boobs—but Sean worships them.

The pleasure grows, and, along with it, my need. I push my hand between me and Sean, rubbing my palm against the bulge in his pants. My nipple leaves his mouth with a wet pop.

“We have to get you ready,” he says, his voice dripping with lust.

“I am,” I gasp.

Sean grins. He likes that I’ve come so undone, but I don’t care. Instead of this whole experience being weird, like I expected it to be, it’s quickly become about nothing but fulfillment. I’m rippling with hot need, and if I don’t get taken care of soon, I’ll explode.

“Sean,” I sternly say.

His eyes dance. “Wow. When did you get so bossy?”

“Take your pants off,” I command.

His mouth twitches. “No.”

I sit up on my arms. “Huh?”

In an instant, I’m flat on my back, Sean’s mouth pressed against my neck and his hands holding my wrists above my head.

“No,” he whispers into my ear. “I’m in charge.”

A low moan creeps from my throat. Sean licks at my earlobe, and I’m shaking, unable to take this anymore.

Keeping one hand on my wrists, he works open my pants and runs a finger down the fabric of my panties. The slight touch makes wetness flow from me.

Pushing aside my underwear, he finds my nub and gently flicks it. I cry out.

“Sean,” I gasp. “You seriously need to—”

His mouth covers mine, eating up the rest of my sentence.

I kiss him hungrily, and he finally listens. Letting go of my wrists, he stands up and strips. I get busy as well, pulling off my pants and underwear.

Just like that, we’re naked in front of each other.

For a second, the whole room spins. Sean has muscles for days, layer upon layer packed on top of each other. But the best part of his body is nestled between his thighs.

Thick and long, his length points right at me, just as excited as I am.

Slowly, Sean crawls back onto the bed. Our eyes lock, and his bright green irises pull me in. A mix of emotions rise in me, but before I can identify any of them, I push them down. Today isn’t about my feelings, or making up for lost time, or anything else my nostalgic heart might think it is.

I lean back down as Sean comes near, but he wraps his arm under me and expertly turns me around so my head falls against the mass of pillows. His smooth body settles against mine, fitting into my curves perfectly. The thrill builds, pushing hot gasps from my lips.

Kissing me once more, Sean adjusts his weight so that the tip of his length presses against my opening. The idea of a condom enters my head before I remember that we don’t need one.

A second later and he’s pushing into me, stretching my walls as far as they’ll go. I cry out, digging my fingers into Sean’s hair and back. The kiss becomes more desperate, teeth gnashing together. He rocks into me, hitting the magic spot right away.

Pleasure rumbles through me. I lock my arms and legs around Sean, holding on with a desperation I haven’t felt in a long time.

Letting go, I sink my weight against the bed and take everything Sean has to give. I need this—not just the pregnancy part. I need to cut loose, to live out this fantasy that I never thought would become reality.

I arch my back, and Sean buries himself completely in me. Shrieks fill the room, ones I didn’t know I could make.

Sean groans in pleasure against my cheek. Moving swiftly, he pulls out and adjusts himself; then, sucking on the base of my neck, he pushes into me again. With deep thrusts of his hips, he teases my nipples, continuing the attention on my neck. Pleasure travels the length of my body. I’m trembling, shaking with a kind of pleasure I didn’t know could exist.

With one hand cupping my breast, Sean reaches over my hips and presses his fingers to my mound. The extra stimulation adds to that from his deep, slick thrusts and I’m exploding, flying to pieces with ecstasy. I gasp in surprise, my scream flooding the room.

Sean’s own grunt mixes with my yell, and I can feel his length engorging more. His seed spills, hot liquid shooting deep inside of me. My body is ready, my muscles pulsing to absorb his load.

Sean pumps his hips a couple times more, emptying every last drop into me. Still contained in his arms, I close my eyes and drop my head back. I’m still trembling, my muscles weak. My head pounds, and I can barely hold it up.

“Mm.” Sean languidly runs his palms over my torso.

Though the deed is done, I don’t want to move. Not only am I exhausted, my muscles spent, but being in his arms feels that darn good.

Gingerly, he lifts me up and sets me on the bed next to him. I take a long, cleansing breath, still trying to think straight but knowing it will be a while.

That was the best sex of my life.

And it was with Sean, nonetheless. Sean, my high school best friend. A run-around guy who I figured would be selfish and disconnected in bed.

Yet he was anything but.

Running my hand over my face, I turn to look at him. He’s on his side, head propped up on his hand, hair all over the place.

He’s never looked more delicious.

“Well?” Sean asks.

“Well, what?”

He gives me a purposeful look.

“Okay,” I slowly answer, “I hate stoking your ego, but that was amazing. The best I’ve had in…a really good while.”

Sean fist pumps in the air. “So what, like a nine? A ten?”

“Get out of here.” I playfully push his chest.

“That means it was off the charts.”

He scoots closer, throwing his arm over my waist. I know I should resist this extra act of attention, since it will only lead me down the wrong road, but I can’t seem to wiggle away from him.

“I’d say that did the job,” he says.

I guffaw. “How do you know?”

“Told you. I have a gift.”

I roll my eyes. “A dick is way different than a gun.”

“Is it, though? Really?”

I can’t stop my laugh. This is weird…because it’s not weird. We’re joking around like we always used to—as if we didn’t just get naked together for the first time and attempt to make a baby.

“We can always try again.”

His eyes suggestively drift over me, and a fresh wave of desire surfaces.

I try to swallow the lump in my throat. “This is supposed to be a one-time thing. You said you could do it in one shot.”

Even as I dish out the argument, I know it’s worthless. I can’t afford to be picky. If I want to get pregnant, I need to take complete advantage of my time with Sean.

“Also,” I point out, “We just did it. There’s no way you can go again so quickly.”

“Wanna bet?”

No. I just want more of him.

Moving fast so I don’t second guess this, I press my lips to Sean’s. His hands are hungry, ready for more. They trail over my hips and push between my thighs.

“Hey! Sean!” a voice calls out.

With a gasp, I break away from him. Someone’s in the apartment!

A second later, and that someone appears in the bedroom doorway, his eyes wide. He’s a guy about our age, with dark hair, and instead of looking mortified or embarrassed, he’s grinning.

I grab for the sheets, realize we’re on top of them, and frantically throw a pillow over my torso.

“Sorry,” the guy says, but he doesn’t look apologetic in the least bit.

“Man, get out of here.” Sean throws a pillow at him. The guy dodges it, but he does turn around.

“My clothes,” I hiss.

My face has got to literally be on fire. Sean hands me my clothes and pulls on his boxers. I dress as fast as I can, fingers fumbling the whole time. The guy has gone out to the living room, thank God—but that does mean I’ll have to walk past him on my way out.

“Who is that?” I ask in a quiet voice.

“My roommate. Frank. Don’t worry, he’s cool.”

I’m not sure just what ‘cool’ means in this situation, and I don’t care. I just want to leave. ASAP.

Before I can, Sean presses his hand against my waist.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get to do it a second time.”

With his eyes so close and his scent overwhelming me, I’m suddenly emotional. I can’t say why, but I am.

“It’s fine,” I argue with a smile. “You said one time is enough.”

His eyes flash with a hint of disappointment, but I won’t let myself read into it.

“I have to go,” I quickly say, walking around him.

I half wish he would stop me, but I also know it’s best if he doesn’t.

As expected, Frank is in the living room, feet up on the coffee table.

“Hi.” He grins.

“Hello.” I clear my throat.

Sean stops next to me. “Violet, this is Frank. He’s a military buddy and probably my closest friend. Frank, this is Violet.”

Frank’s face is knowing.

“Oh, yeah. Violet.” From the way he says my name, he’s most certainly heard about me.

What has Sean said? That we were best friends? That we had a great relationship that we foolishly let fade? That I was just another girl in a long list of many?

“I have to go,” I say, voice stilted.

“Hm. Okay.” Frank smiles.

Fully clothed, I can allow myself a minute to really take him in. Square jaw covered in stubble. Dark eyes. A body just as toned as Sean’s, but stockier.

Apparently, this building discriminates and only allows in hot people.

“So, that was…uh, interesting,” Sean says.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Frank apologizes like he walked in on our TV show and we had to pause it.

“But we’re all friends here.” Sean’s smile is too broad for the occasion.

I want to laugh, but I can’t.

“Right,” Frank agrees, his eyes on me. “You don’t have anything to be ashamed of, Violet.”

Is his trying to make his comment as suggestive as I think he is? And in front of Sean?

“I need to go,” I say, although I’ve already let that be known.

I quickly grab my purse and scoot toward the door. Sean is in front of me in an instant, blocking the doorway.

“Hey,” he says, his voice so low only I can hear him. “Are you good? Was that…”

His gaze softens, but he doesn’t go on.

“It got the job done,” I tell him with a tight smile. “I’ll be in touch. Just to, you know, let you know.”

Sean’s throat bobs as he swallows. “Cool.”

“See you, Sean.”

“See you.”

I leave the apartment, my heart pounding with a mess of emotions.