Chapter 12
Bella
I wake up startled, our room is pitch black, and it’s the middle of the night. I just had a very weird, vivid dream. My heart is racing so fast in my chest it may burst out. I stay laying on top of Gio in his arms until my heart calms down. He’s still out cold, and I don’t want to disturb him. After about 20 minutes, I still can’t fall back to sleep. I’m jittery from my dream and in need of some fresh air to clear my head. So, I carefully untangle myself from my love, get dressed quietly in his shirt, a pair of shorts and flip-flops. Then I grab my iPod off the desk and head out of our bedroom to the front door with slow gliding steps.
I know I shouldn’t leave the apartment alone at night, but I need a few minutes by myself.
I check the clock on the microwave in the kitchen on my way out of the apartment, 3:18.
I head down the stairs to the backyard, straight to one of the picnic tables, and climb on top.
I get comfortable and place my earbuds in my ear, find the playlist I want, and then start my music to help calm myself down and think. Music always soothes my soul.
I hit the shuffle button, and the music starts to play in my ears on full volume.
Seether’s Broken featuring Amy Lee is the first song to blare through my headphones.
I get myself comfortable on top of the table, leaning back on my elbows and looking up at the dark sky.
Then the words of the song break through my thoughts. I feel like I’m broken inside in some ways and the words of this song resonate with me. I wish the worse was over and I could breathe again. In some ways, I can breathe these days because I have Gio, but in other ways, it’s still hard.
Not having my parents or even a picture of them here with Gigi and I is so hard. I should ask Aunt Cindy if she has some old ones of them before she leaves.
We haven’t gotten the closure we needed with them. We never got to say goodbye to them properly. My hope is, when all of this shit is said and done, we can have a proper send-off for them. Gigi and I both need it and so will our brothers.
Sitting here thinking about my parents has brought tears to my eyes. My heart aches for so many different reasons, and I don’t know how to fix any of them.
Thinking of them brings my mind races back to my dream. It plays on repeat in my head. I can’t stop thinking about how real it felt.
There are days I don’t feel like I’m strong enough to make it through until I see Gigi’s face and I fight harder. Then there are others that I’m fine, I have Gio, Gigi, Jules and now Ces. Still, something is always missing, someone, a few someone’s, actually, my brothers.
The song changes to 3 Doors Down’s, Here Without You.
Listening to my music is doing nothing to improve my mood. I listen closely to the words and, again, they hit home. I’m here living this life without my parents, and I wish so badly they were here with us.
I dreamt of my father, and I wish I had more time with him in the dream, just another minute or two would have sufficed. I needed more time with both of them, and so did Gigi.
Daddy and I were so close, and he was always there when I needed him. He helped me through the hard days of missing Gio when he left. He was the only one that truly understood the pain I was in from missing him. I’m sure Jules and Ces suspected, but we never talked about it, only daddy would force me to. He said it would help, sometimes it did, and sometimes it didn’t, that’s when I started to use alcohol to help numb the pain. He didn’t know, and neither did my brothers or my besties. I started stealing alcohol from my father’s liquor cabinet when I was 15. Daddy loved his whiskey and never noticed any missing from his bottles. I would sneak into his office in the morning before and after school taking a swig here and there. Once I turned 21, I didn’t bother hiding it anymore, which was a relief, in and of itself. I hated hiding and lying to everyone.
Mom and I were close in our own way, but she was closer to Gigi than she was with me. That was fine because I was closer to daddy than Gigi. She and mom had a special connection, maybe it was because she was her baby.
Daddy, Val and I shared the same special connection. I don’t know how to explain it, it was just there between us.
Maybe I should just go wake up Gio and talk to him, we could take a walk down by the lake and talk. Sitting here is obviously not helping me if anything I feel worse than when I woke up.
No, I won’t disturb him, he needs his rest, I know he has to be in Church early in the morning.
Out of nowhere, I feel a hand on my knee startling the shit out of me. I scream loudly, pulling my earbuds out of my ears scared half to death. I look up and see Blaze standing in front of me, and my racing heart calms down.
“Sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Blaze says with concern lacing his facial features.
He knows this isn’t my normal MO to be alone. I don’t leave Gio in the middle of the night to come outside by myself, ever. I barely leave Gio’s side these days, unless I have to.
“What are you doing out here alone in the dark?” I shake my head to calm my startled nerves and take a deep breath before answering him.
He takes a seat next to me on top of the picnic table waiting patiently for my answer. I turn off my iPod before answering him.
“I had a weird dream, and it kinda left me unsettled. I thought some fresh air would help, but it’s not.”
“Why didn’t you wake up Beast, he would have brought you out here? You shouldn’t be outside alone, sweetheart.” I know he worries about me, they all do. Especially, cause Anton’s goons are still running around town looking for us.
“I didn’t want to wake him up. I know he has to be up in a couple of hours,” I say weakly, then stare him down.
“Why are you up so early in the morning, Mister?” He laughs at my choice of words towards him.
“Sassy has ever, huh, little missy. I don’t sleep much, so I went for a run.” Now, that I really look at him I can see he's not in his usual attire in his kutte, shirt, jeans, and boots. He’s wearing a tank top, basketball shorts, sneakers, and he’s drenched.
“You want to talk about it, Ms. Sassy, it may help?” he coaxes trying to lighten the mood.
Here’s the thing, I do, and I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t know how to explain it, though without sounding crazy. On the other hand, I do want to get it off my chest because it felt so real. I have mixed emotions about how it made me feel. A part of it makes me feel sad, and the other part makes me feel happy.
“Please, don’t think I’m crazy when I say these words out loud, then?” He gives me an honest look to go with his honest answer.
“I could never think that about you after all you’ve been through. You're one of the strongest women I know, Bella and probably the sanest too.”
“I hope you still think that after I say what I do.”
I take a deep breath and stare straight ahead, before telling him about my very real, very strange dream.
“I dreamt of my father, it was so real, I really felt like he was there in the room with me and holding me in his arms,” I say as the tears begin to flow down my face again. I pull my legs up on the table, clenching my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them, and bow my head forward to hide my face.
He sits quietly listening, not interrupting me and taking in all my words.
“The way he talked to me and the things he said felt so real... comforting, confusing.” I pause, needing to take a couple of deep breaths.
“I get it, sweetheart,” he says with a sigh before continuing.
“Before I left for boot camp and met Beast, Ace, and the guys, my grandmother, who raised me, passed away. During boot camp, one night I had a vivid dream of us talking.
“She loved to be in the kitchen, sitting at her table. I was sitting with her, and we talked. She told me how proud she was of me for serving our country. She also said I needed to be careful of the danger to come.
“She told me Beast, Ace and the other guys in our crew would always have my back. I should stick with them throughout my life, and I’ll be fine. She also said some other things about what was going to happen to us, and they did eventually happen.
“I woke up from that dream with my heart pounding, sweat pouring down my face and startled. I felt like she was really with me and I was touching her like I used to. I never dismissed a word she said, either.
“When we were overseas, the danger was all around us, and my brothers had my back just like I had theirs. The things she told me about happened. My brother’s and I have saved each other’s asses more than once, and we will continue to do so.”
Silence falls between us for a few minutes while I analyze his words.
So, I’m not crazy, and it's possible daddy had a message for me.
“You should talk to Beast about your dream and figure out together what it means,” he says, then falls silent again.
After sitting for a few more minutes of staring up at the sky, then I hear a growl come from behind me. I jump, turning around to look and see Gio is barreling towards us. He looks mad as hell, barefoot and wearing only a pair of ripped jeans with the top button undone. All his ink and ripped chest muscles are on display for all to see.
“What the hell is going on out here?” he growls, looking at Blaze pissed because he’s sitting here next to me.
Before I can answer him, Blaze does and ignores his attitude towards him.
“I was out for a run and saw Bella sitting here by herself and upset. I didn’t want to leave her here alone, so I decided to join her. But now I’m going to head in for a shower and leave you two to talk,” Blaze says as he gets off the table to head inside.
I catch his hand before he leaves. “Thank you for listening, Blaze,” I say, he nods then leaves us.
Gio takes his seat next to me and takes me into his arms.
“What’s going on, baby? Why did you come out here by yourself,” he asks worried about me.
“I had a dream about daddy and thought some fresh air would help to figure it all out in my head. I didn’t want to bother you. I know you have to be up early to meet with the guys.” I rest my head on his chest and look into his eyes.
“Tell me about this dream, baby,” he says in a loving tone, wanting to know what spooked me so bad that I came outside. He keeps one hand around my waist, and the other is in my hair.
“I dreamt I was in daddy’s office talking to him like we always used to do.
“He told me, how proud he was of me for stepping up with Gigi and taking care of her.
“He said how happy he is for us that we finally have one another to love.
“Daddy said he was sorry he couldn’t stop what happened to me. He said he and mom love me and Gigi and the guys and to make sure I tell them all. Especially, Gigi all the time, so she knows they miss her very much.” I can’t help the tears that fall from my eyes or the sobs coming from my chest. I miss them dearly.
“Then he told me, we must keep an eye on Gigi, the monster is coming for her to take her away from us. You, Val, Romeo, Bash, Lorenzo, and your brothers will have to save her in time before we lose her forever.
“Then daddy wants you to kill the monster, painfully. He said the way you plan to do it is the right way to handle him. Do your worst on him for what he has done to our family and me. It was a firm order, not a request,” I say the last part on a sob as the pain from missing my parent's rolls through my body stopping at my heart.
“Gio, it felt so real, that it kinda freaked me out. I know I sound crazy, but that’s how I felt. It was so vivid, I want to go back there and have him hold me and talk to him again, but it was over so quickly.
“I did get to tell him how much I miss and love him and mom. He told me they do too and that they’re together and happy. They’re at peace because Gigi and I have you to take care of us and soon we’ll have our brothers with us.”
Gio holds me for a few minutes while I cry, getting it all out of my system before he speaks. I take comfort in his warm, loving touch.
It’s been two weeks since Gio’s been back and things have been going so well, better than ever.
Cesare arrived last week with Skully and his men.
The three Musketeers are back together again, and it feels so good. Even with a part of me missing not having my brothers and parents here, I feel almost complete.
Skully and his men are still here and will be staying another week or so with us. I like them and am so appreciative to them for getting Ces away from the monster and taking care of him enough to get him here to me.
It’s been so good to have Ces back with us and that he finally got to meet my Gio, who he’s heard everything about. He and Gio hit it off immediately, and they haven’t fought once concerning me. They both figured out real fast how to share me, and give me what I need from both of them without overstepping their boundaries. My dear hubby knows how much I love Ces and need him and he’s okay with all of it.
Ace, on the other hand, has been handling Ces with a grain of salt. He hasn’t figured out how to share Jules with him just yet. I know how possessive Ace has become of Jules, so that could be one of the reasons. I also think he’s jealous of their relationship and there is nothing to be jealous about at all. Ces is like a girlfriend, he doesn’t see us in a sexual way at all. He’s the one ogling the guys with us. He is the bottom in a relationship, just like us girls. His words, not mine, I love Ces anyway he wants to be.
Gio says Ace will get over it, eventually.
My brothers are still MIA, but Throttle said he has a good lead on them and he’s sure they are alive, safe and in hiding. When it’s safe, they will find us or Gio’s Club brothers will find them. Gator has informed all the Clubs to be on the lookout for them. I heard Gio talking to Ace and Blaze the other day, and he said Gator sent Bear and Gunner to Key Largo a couple of days ago to check on some things.
Aunt Cindy is still here with us, she’s been helping with Ces and the extra company around the Clubhouse, but she is leaving in a couple of days.
We’re still on lockdown until Anton’s goons are located. It hasn’t been that bad and having our own place is nice. We can leave the compound with the guys, but it’s limited to certain places.
Gio has taken me on his bike a few times, Ace and Jules and a few of the guys always accompany us on long rides on the back roads. It’s been great to get out and have the wind on my face, for that short time nothing else matters, but my man. Holding on to him and riding on his bike is... freeing. I can leave everything behind and just live in the moment and enjoy the ride.
I’ve cooked and baked every day for the guys, in our apartment, and in the Clubhouse, with help from Aunt Cindy, Jules, Gigi, and Ces.
All our purchases from our honeymoon were delivered when Gio was gone. I tried to arrange them without him. but ended up giving up. I wanted to wait for Gio so we could do it together.
Gigi is doing better, and her schooling with Rosie is going great. She’s adjusting just fine to living with Gio and me, I think. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing all the wrong things with her. Gio and I are new to us, but most of all, we’re new to her too.
Navigating through these muddy waters is hard, and with Aunt Cindy leaving... I’ll have to figure it out on my own. It will be fine; I know I can do it myself. Being a wife and mother figure to my teenage sister is not so easy. I guess like anything, it’s all a learning process, and it will take time, but I can do anything I put my mind to, and I will do this.
“Baby, I believe your father came to you with this message for a reason. He loved you and your sister dearly, and he probably knew you needed this as much as he did,” he says, tucking my hair behind my ear off my face.
“Nothing is going to happen to Gigi if I can help it, and I’m sure your brothers will be here soon. Let’s get you back to bed. You look exhausted.
“We can analyze this more later this morning after you’ve had more sleep and can process all his words better.”
Gio helps me down from the table, and we head back to our room for a few more hours of sleep.
I wake up to soft, wet kisses on my neck. The afternoon sunlight is beaming in our room through the window.
“Time to get up, baby, I need my lunch,” Gio says in my ear in-between kissing my neck to wake me up, and lighting the flames in my lower belly.
“Okay, give me a couple of minutes, and I’ll make you some lunch,” I say still half out of it before he claims my lips. I grab his shoulder with one hand and notice he’s shirtless. With my other hand, I place it on his naked waist. He moves on top of my naked body, pressing our chests together and spreading my legs in the process.
His left-hand goes straight to my right breast, tweaking my nipple. His other hand slides slowly down the center of my body until he finds my mound, cupping my sex. I moan in his mouth and realize now what he meant about needing his lunch. I’m going to be his lunch.
His skillful fingers run the length of my lips, finding me already wet for him before stopping at my now throbbing clit. He circles a few times with his middle finger while kissing my lips, then down my chin, my neck and continues a trail down my body. He makes contact with every inch of my skin on his dissent.
I’m so turned on, I want him inside me now, but he has other ideas. I’ll get him after he takes what he wants from me.
His finger moves from my clit down, he inserts his index and middle fingers inside me, hitting my g-spot and working me into a frenzy. The fire is building and building in my lower belly, getting me closer and closer to my finale. I hold back, he’s barely had his fill and I want more.
His mouth finally makes contact with his final destination, my clit. He doesn’t play around, he sucks me in-between his lips and moves his tongue around. I’m so lost in passion; the strangest noises are coming out of me from what he’s doing to me. I don’t care who hears me as my husband loves on my body for his pleasure and mine.
My hands grab for his head, and I rake my fingers through his hair. I massage his scalp to keep him moving.
His tongue makes love to my most sensitive part of my body, his fingers pumping in, out, faster, harder. His other hand continues to work my nipple into a hard rock.
I stop moving my fingers on his head and with both hands, pressing his face closer to my sex. Smothering him as he continues to work my body over.
It doesn’t take long for the volcano inside me, that’s been building fast, to erupt with hot molten lava all over his face and hand.
One, two, and three more swipes of his marvelous tongue and I’m screaming his name for the whole world to hear. I clench around his fingers hard, my body quivers underneath him uncontrollably in ecstasy. He, like usual, has transported my body to a whole other universe as I soar through my orgasm.
He works me through it slowly taking every drop of my honey he can get. Then once I relax under him, he crawls back up my body and doesn’t stop till he reaches my lips.
He kisses me, I taste myself on his tongue, and my desire to taste him intensifies. As soon as I return to my body and my breathing comes back to normal, I can take what I want.
“I want your cock in my mouth,” I purr, shocking him and pushing him onto his back before he can answer me. I pounce on him ready to love his gorgeous, long, thick, pierced love muscle.
I settle in between his legs and kiss his tip first, then run my tongue along the underside, from the tip to the base. When I come back up, I engulf him in my mouth, taking him all the way to the back of my throat. I build a steady rhythm of loving his cock the best way I can.
“Fuck, I love that you have no gag reflex, baby,” he says, and it’s true. Once I got the hang of sucking his cock the way he likes it, he informed me I don’t have a gag reflex. I can take all nine inches of his glorious pierced cock to the back of my throat with no problem. I get him good every time I take him in my mouth.
He places his hands on my head, running his fingers through my hair. I know he wants to help guide me along, but he won’t. I’m not sure why he doesn’t; maybe he just doesn’t want to push me too far. It wouldn’t be, I want him to guide me along and get into the pleasure the way I do.
“Damn, my girl is hungry for my cock just like I am for her pussy. Keep going, baby. This feels good, so fuckin’ amazing.”
I can feel him thickening and know he won’t last much longer. As much as I would love for him to cum in my mouth, it will have to wait for another time. I need him inside me now before I burst.
I come back up to his tip, kiss him one last time before I climb up his body for my ride. A ride that I am going to take so hard and so fast, pounding him into the mattress and having him lose himself to my desire and control.
I slowly take him inside of me to adjust to his size and don’t wait a second longer to start pounding on him. I get right to work, bouncing up and down, faster and faster as he takes my hips in his hands to help move me along, and he pumps his hips with me.
I’m so wild for him, I can’t stop my hands from scratching the shit out of his chest and shoulders.
It feels so wonderful, but I need more. Gio always seems to know what my body desires.
He flips me on my back in one swift swoop and propels in me at a piston speed. Before long, I’m cumming, exploding all over his cock, screaming out his name at the top of my lungs as the pleasure rolls through me again.
He’s pumping harder and faster, in and out of me chasing his own release.
The only sounds in our room are coming from us, our bodies slamming together making glorious music. Our moans are the biggest turn on, in and of itself, adding to the song our bodies are playing.
My hands are on his shoulders, digging my nails into his skin as I hold on for the ride of my life.
His left hand is all over my body, caressing and kneading, causing the fire in me to burn on full force. His right-hand finds its home on my clit and works me a few times before nirvana hits my body at an all-time high causing me to float away.
He cums with a loud growl, he shoots hot strand, after hot strand of his seed into my womb.
He collapses on top of me, burying his face in the crook of my neck. The world around me goes black, and I can’t see or hear a damn thing.