The words surprise us both, me more than her. I’ve never wanted to talk about anything to anyone. Not about my mother, about what went down with Jagger and obviously, not Sasha. Originally I kept things to myself because I didn’t want to burden others, but then my burdens turned into secrets, and those secrets have taken charge of my life.

Taylah agreed to me coming over because we had the intention to talk. We may have allowed ourselves to get side-tracked, but she deserves an explanation about tonight, and even if it feels out of character, it’s still something I know I can do.

“What are you talking about?” she asks, perplexed.

“Tonight at the restaurant. When it all went to shit. I want to—”

“Drix.” She leans forward, stopping short of my mouth. “We’ve come so far from that moment.”

“I know, but it’s the right thing to do.”

“Fine.” She pulls back, her eyes like laser beams, piercing through me. “What is it that’s got you so worked up?”’

A few long seconds pass and the ability to speak seems to have gone missing. The rush of confidence, dwindling. I know I can bail, redirect the conversation to anything else and she'll let me.

As stupid as it sounds, I don't know how to talk about myself. I don't share feelings, I don't let anyone in, and I sure as hell don’t ever get deep and meaningful with someone I’m sleeping with.

I'm scared of the vulnerability, scared to say something stupid, or even worse, something I can’t take back. But the voice inside my head is nagging at me to talk to her, to tell her things. To show her me. “Fuck.” Pinching the bridge of my nose, I shake my head like the motion might just make everything make sense.

“God, Drix you're killing me here.” She looks around the room, and then back at me. “Lie down.”

“What?”

“Lie down. Let's sit the way we were before, and you don't have to look at me.”

“But I like looking at you.”

“When you're about to fuck me, yeah, but whatever it is you’re trying to say has you looking like a fish out of water.”

She fusses around with the bedding like she’s tucking in a child. I let her. Laying back down, we come together like magnets, her body wrapped around mine, my hands on her, and her head listening to the erratic beats of my heart.

With her dainty fingers roaming around my chest, I stare at the ceiling and let her soothe me into solace. Without admitting to the comfort of not having Taylah’s eyes on me right now, I dive straight into the pool of me and her. “This feels a lot more serious than I’m used to,” I start. “At the restaurant, I was a dickhead.” I feel her trying to get up in protest, so I hold her tighter. “You walked in that restaurant tonight, and sat with me and my friends like you belonged in my life.” She stills in my arms like she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. “The reason I turned into a jerk was because I was shocked by how much I wanted you there. You mentioned your dad passing, and the first thing that came to my mind was, ‘why don’t I know that about her already.’”

“Drix.”

“I know it was impossible, but in that split second, I realised I wanted to know things about you. Things everyone knows, things nobody knows…. It shocked me.” She sits up and the sheets fall off her back. Naked, wet eyelashes, and red cheeks, she’s raw, and on display. The woman in front of me is changing me, and for the first time, I welcome it.

“I don’t know what to say when you tell me things like that.” Twisting her body, she throws her legs off the edge of the bed. She walks out of the room, giving me a view of heaven, only to come back covering it up.

Even though I’m momentarily distracted by the fact her skin is no longer on display, getting to the bottom of why she stormed out is more important. “What is it?”

“I wasn’t going to call you, you know?” She stands in the middle of the room, the distance between us bothering me. “Actually, I was even more surprised you called me.”

“But that doesn’t explain why you’re no longer naked, and standing so far away from me.”

“You know why I didn’t contact you, right?” she asks, completely bypassing what I just said. The shitty thing is I do. And instead of addressing the elephant in the room, I nod and keep silent, avoiding the conversation I know needs to be had. “It’s the same reason I’m so surprised to hear you say you’re into whatever this is too.”

“Can you come back to bed please.” She takes a few hesitant steps toward me. “Naked.”

The minute she’s within reach, I take her hand and pull her on top of me. My head lands on her range of pillows, and my hands hold on to her waist. “I want to see what this is with you. Can that please be enough for now.”

With a heavy resigned breath, she rolls off me, landing on her back, beside me. “I’m not trying to bust your balls, Drix. I’m just trying to make sure I don’t get hurt. They’re two very different things.”

Everything she’s saying makes sense, and every essence of my being knows she has every right to feel the way she does. But I’m always the one to think too hard and take too long. Right now, I don’t want to be that guy. I just want to feast in this feeling with her for as long as she’ll let me.

I don’t care if it’s too soon, or I don’t really know her, or it might just be the really good sex. None of those rules or expectations matter, because with her I enjoy the moment, without worrying about the consequences. With her, my mind is so fucking silent, and that’s something I’ve spent too much time searching for.

“Crazy.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t want either of us to get hurt.”

Turning on her side, she leans on her elbow and rests her cheek on the inside of her hand. “That’s good enough for me.”

I mirror her pose. “Can you come a little bit closer.”

“What do you mean? I’m right next to you.”

“But you could be on top of me.”

“Oh,” she says, pretending to play along. “My bad.” She manoeuvres her leg over, straddling me. “This better?”

Kicking the blankets to the side, I grip onto her waist and pull her farther down, her pussy hovering directly above my cock. “We’re getting there.”

My fingers slide through her folds. Like the gift that keeps on giving, she’s wet and wanting. Bringing my thumb to her clit, I begin to rub in a slow, circular motion. She draws in a harsh breath at the contact, and my dick throbs from the power I have over her.

Lowering herself completely, she rubs herself up and down my shaft. My movements become faster, as she drips all over my cock.

“I need you inside me, Drix.” She wraps her hands around my hard, and slick cock, lifting her body up off me. “Please.”

“I’m all yours.” She slides herself down my dick, and I piston my hips, wanting to feel myself deep-seated inside her. With her eyes on mine, and her lips parted, she looks down at me with nothing but want written all over her face. “Ride me, Crazy.”

I splay my hands across her arse, gripping her cheeks through every delicious bounce. Hard and fast, I fuck her and she uses me, both of us racing to the finish line. Close to the edge, I get lost in the vision before me. With golden locks cascading around her shoulders, and dusty rose nipples begging to be sucked, she looks like the angel of seduction, here to bring me to my knees.

Gripping the back of her neck, I pull her face toward me and fuck her mouth with my tongue. Thrusting into her, I’m a man unhinged, ready to explode. My hand finds her swollen clit, and I prepare her to meet me at the edge.

With a final slam down on my cock, her pussy starts to throb around me. Roaring in relief, we ride out the wave; bodies weakening, hearts pounding. High on the rush of being so close to her, all the tension gone, dissolving into nothing.

Her clammy body crumples on to mine, her head nestled perfectly in my neck. “I’m sorry, I don’t even have the energy to roll off you.” She yawns as I stretch my hand out to throw the blankets over us. “Do you mind if I just lie here for a little?”

Cocooned away from the world, my fingers skate up and down her spine. At peace. Fulfilled. Happy. “You can lay here for as long as you like.”

“I can cancel my plans,” she yells from the bedroom. “Emerson won't mind.”

The morning starts off slow and sluggish, sex and a shower together making it harder for us to part.

“You guys have plans,” I call back, as I clean up last night’s mess in the kitchen. “I’m not going to fuck that up.”

“What about if Jagger comes and the four of us can do something?” With her head tipped to the side, she walks toward me, dressed and glowing, while attaching her earring to her ear.”

“Just tell her to bring Jagger, but don't tell her I’m here.” A guilty look crosses her face. “Okay, what are the chances she hasn’t already told him yet.”

“Why? What’s the big deal.”

“I just want to surprise my brother.” It’s a half lie. I’m really hoping to avoid giving him time to think of a million questions and reasons of why being here with Taylah is a bad idea. After the way he acted at football practice the other week, having to explain myself to him, is not how I want this to go down.

“So, he doesn’t know about us at all? Even the texting?”

“He knows I gave you my number.”

“Oh.” She nods, slowly meeting me on the same page.

“I told you, I fuck and run. Jagger knows my deal.”

“Well, you did the first part right.”

“That I did, didn’t I?” Finishing up in the kitchen, I make my way to the couch, and unceremoniously collapse on it. I tip my chin up at her, smugly. “I gave you some good dick, right? Fucked you good and proper.”

She stands in front of me, mildly unimpressed. Her earrings secured and her hands on her hips. “I’m sure Jagger would love to hear all about it.”

“I’ve got other things to tell him too, don’t you worry.”

“You do?”

Leaning over, I grab her, guiding her to stand in between my legs. “I could tell him how we plan to do it all over again tonight.” She bites her bottom lip, refusing to smile at my antics. Instead of continuing with the sex talk, I try a little bit of truth. “The most important thing he needs to know is this is undoubtedly one of the best weekends I’ve ever had.”

“Really?” Her voice perks up at my revelation, while a slight flush creeps up to her cheeks. I fold my hands over hers and bring them up to my lips.

“You know it.”

Loud knocking cracks through the noise coming from the television. In a few steps, Taylah opens the door and an excited Emerson walks in with an extremely perplexed Jagger behind her. Em’s eyes beeline for me, and I can’t help but smile at how happy she is to see me.

Every time I see her, I thank the universe Jagger found her. She brought him back to life in a way I don’t think Dakota or I ever could.

I stand to hug and greet her when Jagger notices me. His face morphing from mild rage to understanding. He doesn’t miss a beat when it comes to any other guy looking or touching his woman. “Relax, it’s me, you fucking caveman. No one’s trying to steal your girl.”

Emerson and Taylah laugh in the background, used to his possessive habits.

“What are you doing here?” He holds out his hand, which I take and pulls me in for a one-armed hug. I choose not to answer him.

“Ladies, we are sorry to love you and leave you,” I announce. “But we’re going to head out and meet up with you both later.”

Already aware of the plan, Taylah and Emerson give an unfazed response as they potter around the house getting ready to leave themselves.

“Did you all set this up?” Jagger asks, catching on.

“Yes. Can we go now?”

“What’s the rush?”

“You’re about two seconds off saying something that’s going to make this very uncomfortable, and I would like to get out of here before it happens.”

“This twin thing sucks. I was really going to embarrass you.”

“I have no doubt. Now can we go?”

After a brief nod, he turns to Emerson, hugging and kissing her goodbye. I take it as my cue to do the same and fold Taylah in my arms. “I’ll see you soon okay?”

She tips her head up, welcoming my goodbye. The minute I feel her mouth on mine, I regret making plans. And her tongue seeks out mine, I know she’s thinking the exact same thing.

Jagger clears his throat, and I still waiting for his comment. “Was this how I was going to make it really uncomfortable?”

Embarrassed Taylah lowers her head, and I glare at Jagger. Lifting her chin up, I give her a quick peck. “Best weekend, remember.”

With nothing but affection in her eyes, she repeats after me. “Best weekend.”

“You’ve been too quiet for too long. Just say what you want to say already,” I urge Jagger. We’re fifteen minutes into the drive back to my place and he hasn’t said a word since we got in the car.

“What do you want me to say?”

“Anything.”

“That wasn’t what I expected.”

“What? Taylah and I?” I know he has something to say, but what shocks me is how much I want to hear it. I don’t need his approval, but time and time again, I go seeking it, and I don’t know why.

“No. Yes,” he switches on a frustrated sigh. “I mean, I assumed something was going to happen, you’ve brought her enough the last few times we’ve seen each other. But I thought it would be a more of a feel-good time than what I just saw.”

“What you just saw?” I echo with confusion.

“I’ve never seen either of you with other people, so I could be way off, but that looked a whole lot more than something casual.”

It feels it too.

“I don't think it's casual,” I admit to myself more than him.

He turns to me with curious eyes. “So you’re really going there?”

The disbelief in his voice reminds me why I’m an idiot for having this conversation with him. “Do I have your permission?”

“That’s not what I meant,” he huffs. “I shouldn’t have said what I said last week. You can be with whoever you want to be.”

“Considering you didn’t ask my permission before you slept with Sasha, I wasn’t planning on listening to your warning anyway,” I throw out angrily.

“That was low.”

A small amount of guilt washes over me, but not enough to regret saying it. “It's still true.”

After a few missed beats, he responds. “Hendrix, I’m sorry.” He hangs his head in shame, his apology as sincere as ever.

“I know you are.”

“Are you ever going to forgive me?”

“I forgave you the second I met Dakota, but some days I still find it really hard to forget.”

We arrive in my driveway in silence, knowing words provide little to no comfort. I lead us inside, throwing my keys on the dining table and heading straight to the kitchen for some coffee.

Hesitantly, he follows my footsteps. “Tell me about Taylah.”

I wait for the drone from the coffee machine to slow itself down into a stop before answering. “What do you want to know?”

“What changed your mind?”

“She did.”

“I just don't want shit to get even more fucked up for you.”

“There’s nothing she could do to make it worse.” I bring the mug of hot coffee to my lips, embracing the scent of the hot liquid. “I feel good around her, and for the sake of just living in the moment, I'm going to see where it goes.”

“You deserve to be happy.”

“Then how come you fight me on every decision I make?”

He taps his fingers on the bench before saying whatever it is on his mind. “Honestly, I still can’t get my head around you and Sasha not being together.”

“Come on, bro. Even I’ve finally realised that ship has sailed.”

“I just thought you’d be able to get past everything we went through.”

“Me?” I run my hands through my hair in frustration. “When I lost the only family I had, grudges and heartache weren’t options anymore. It was a clean slate for me. A lesson learned. She’s the one that couldn’t make it work.”

“But why?” He’s not expecting an answer to the question, but I do it anyway.

“Because Sasha is Sasha’s worst enemy.”

Each holding a cup of coffee, we spend a few minutes lost in the past and everything we endured to bring us to this point.

“For what it’s worth, Taylah looks good on you.”

Not wanting to spend the rest of the day at loggerheads, I help him out a little. “She really does look good on me.”

He nudges my shoulder. “Are we good?”

“Yeah, bro. We’re always good.”