“Oh my god, you’re actually alive,” Emerson squeals. I roll my eyes at her theatrics, before leaning in and giving her a one-armed hug. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Relax, drama, It’s been two weeks, and I’ve been busy.” Sitting down opposite one another, I place my handbag on the chair beside me, and start scanning the menu. “And, I’ve seen you at work.”

“Please don’t talk about that place,” She cries. “I’m not loving it right now and I don’t want to be reminded of it.”

“Fuck, if I don’t know that feeling too well.”

“Yeah but I feel like your regular dates with the dick has gotten you through.” She hides behind the menu, her eyes sparkle with mischief.

“Not gonna lie he makes the shitty days a lot better.”

“Him or his dick?”

An innocent shrug and an accompanying smile gives her my answer.

Pushing back our weekly breakfast, Emerson and I finally managed to carve time in our schedule and catch up. While I have been really busy, Hendrix Michaels has become my addiction, and I’m not even sorry. After a great first weekend together, attached at the hip is an understatement.

There’s no ruse, no rules, no games and no worries. We’re drowning, and neither wants to come up for air.

“You look like you’re in love,” she says, surprising me.

Shocked, I stay silent and ponder her statement. Am I? “I’m happy.”

“Tell me about him.” She’s excited and curious, a stark contrast from the original warning she gave me when I first mentioned taking a chance on Drix.

Avoiding her stare, I shut down her enthusiasm. “Not yet.”

“What?”

After the awkward conversations we’ve both had with others about whether or not whatever we have is a good idea, I tell her the honest truth. “I don’t want to share this part of us with the rest of the world just yet.”

Taken aback by my choice to keep something from her for the first time in history. I try to justify it. “Everyone had an opinion and I’m in too deep to hear them right now.”

The rest of the morning takes a while to take off, and against both our wishes we end up talking about work.

Finishing off, we wait for the bill, before we make the already planned small walk from George St to The Rocks, to check out the markets. Perusing the stalls is one of my favourite things to do. I’ve dragged Em all over Sydney before, hoarding one too many nicknacks. It’s our thing and hopefully it bridges the gap I just created.

The waitress appears taking the money, only to leave the table, and make way for an unexpected sight.

“What are they doing here?” I ask shocked to see Jagger and Drix walk in the café.

I watch every person’s body turn, as they head toward us. With each step they fill the small and dainty space with masculine beauty.  They’re quite a pair, and if I wasn’t satisfied knowing what it was like to have Drix in my own bed, I’d be jealous of anyone who had.

I glance over at Emerson, and her conflicted eyes find mine. “You did this?”

“You’ve been there for each of my happiest moments. I just don’t want to miss out on yours.“

I stretch my hands out to the middle of the table, and she does the same. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Giving my attention back to Hendrix, a loud sigh leaves my mouth. “Does it ever wane?”

“What?”

“The need to want to be stuck to him at all times.”

The look of yearning she gives Jagger answers my question. I turn my head, and my heart jolts to see Drix looking at me the same way. Impatient to greet him, I stand, and his strides show he feels the same.

“Fancy meeting you here.” His large hands, cradle my face, as he leans in for a kiss.

My lips touch his, and talking seems overrated and unnecessary. He deepens the kiss, offering the smallest flick with his tongue, sending my body into a frenzy. I pull back, and look up at him, “I vote to never have to go out in public again.”

His eyes twinkle with playfulness, “sounds like the perfect plan to me.”

Sliding my hands around his body, I lean my head against his chest and look at Emerson. I mouth thank you, equally grateful and guilty.

Her eyes dart from mine to Drix’s, and back again. “It was a team effort.”

Emerson tilts her head to the exit. “Ready to go?”

“You let us crash your day. We’re good with whatever.” Drix answers her, but he doesn’t look at anything but me. I feel the bubble re-wrap itself around us, my worry gone; the rest of the world non-existent, just like I wanted.

Leaving the café, Emerson and Jagger lead the way, leaving Drix and I trailing behind, arm around my shoulders, hand in his back pocket. “How was your morning with Jagger?”

“Not as good as being here with you now.”

I pinch his arse through his jeans. “You’re just so smooth aren’t you.”

“Jagger called me a miserable fuck, and told me to call Emerson and organise to meet you. He was right. I fucking missed you.” He kisses the top of my head. “It’s a win win for all of us, I say.”

Threading my free fingers into his, we fall into a comfortable silence. One where being in one another’s presence far outweighs the need to justify our feelings with words.

As much as I love being in his arms, my shitty attitude to Emerson plays on repeat. “Can you give me a second?”

He narrows his eyebrows, “What’s wrong?”

“I was a bit of a bitch to Em before and I just want to apologise one more time.”

“What happened?”

“Can we talk about it later?”

“You know I won’t forget.”

I draw a cross over my heart. “I promise, I’ll tell you.”

He tips his chin at Emerson in front of us. “Go, make it better.”

A row of white awnings come into view, the markets a continuous strip of stalls that serve everything from food, used books, jewellery and clothes.

Feeling lighter, and less guilty, I take Drix’s hand and lift his arm from around me. Skipping ahead, I tug at him to follow. “Come on, Sexy we got things to see. Food to try.”

“You trying to fatten me up?”

“Yes.” I let go of his hand, and walk backwards. “Just so I can have you work it off later.”

His eyes breathe me in, as I indirectly promise he can use me to let it all out. “So, are you in or are you out?”

In two large steps his hands are on my waist, his forehead pressed to mine. “Can’t we just browse casually like normal people?”

“And what would be the fun in that?” I place my hands on his chest, giving him a little nudge “Here’s what we’re going to do. We go down the food aisle, and we each get a turn to feed the other.”

He raises an eyebrow at me and clicks his tongue. “What’s the catch?”

“Your eyes have to be closed.”

“It sounds messy.”

My hands latch behind the back of his neck, and I bring his face down to me. Tilting my head to the side, I whisper into his ear, “I promise I’ll let you clean me up later.”

We've been to more than ten food stalls, somehow falling into a pattern of only choosing desserts. Each stop became an experience my body and my mind wasn't prepared for.

I wanted to taste food, he wanted me to taste his lips. Sweet or sour, he convinced me everything tasted better this way. I lick the flavour off his lips, and he gives it back as he strokes the inside of my mouth.

It was all foreplay. He knew how to drive me wild with the simplest of touches. Public place be damned, he made sure I was lost in him, and I stayed where only he could find me.

“Okay. Okay. This is the last one,” I announce.  He starts to close his eyes, but I decide otherwise. “Keep them open for this.” Tilting his head to the side, his facial expression questions what I have planned. I place the small caramel filled chocolate at the edge of my mouth, the other half poking out.

I move closer to his face, my intention clear. Or so he thinks. He leans in to bite the other half, but I move.

“What are you doing, Crazy?”

Without answering, I keep moving further away. Chocolate in between my teeth, and Cheshire cat grin to match. It only takes Drix sixty seconds to be fed up, and catapult towards me.

A shriek leaves my mouth, leaving the chocolate to fall right out. His hands grip the front of my jeans and drag me to him “You made me lose the chocolate,” I pout.

“It’s only fair,” he shrugs. “You had no plans of sharing it.”

“I think I can still taste it,” I say licking my lips.

“Yeah?” He moves closer, catching my bottom lip between his. “Mmmm. Tastes good,” he moans. Sneakily he holds up the same caramel chocolate from earlier, and pops it in his mouth. He chews loudly, making animated noises. Looking smug and satisfied, he smirks at me. “Sorry Crazy, but this tasted way better.”

Acting less like hormonal teenagers, and more like functional adults we walk through the aisles, and meet Emerson and Jagger at a handmade jewellery tent.

“Oh look,” Em teases, “You guys decided to come up for air.”

“You guys are just jealous you didn’t think of it first,” Drix retorts.

They bicker as we keep walking, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a relief that we’d all fallen into a comfortable exchange.

From the corner of my eye I notice Jagger staring at me pensively. Not sure what his problem could be I decide to walk ahead and check out some of my favourite stalls.

Expecting the figure beside me to be Hendrix, I’m surprised to see Jagger follow me.

Caught unawares and not sure what to say, I wait for him to break the silence. Bowed head, hands in pocket, he looks nervous as hell.

Surveying the wooden table in front of me, I graze my hand over the beautiful hand woven bracelets. Picking one up, I turn to face Jagger, and hand it to him. “I don’t bite, you know?”  

Face to face, he takes my offering. His expression is stoic. Unreadable. A disparity to what comes out of his mouth. “I need to apologise.”

I jerk my head back in shock. “Wait, what? What for?”

He rubs his hand over his mouth repeatedly as I wait for an explanation. “Em told me what happened before we got to the café.”

“Then why—”

“Wait.” He holds his hand up in protest. “I need to get this out. I know you apologised to Em, and that’s between you and her, but I should have never made you feel like that in the first place.”

“Jagger. Stop.” I place my hand over the hand that still holds the bracelet. “Please don’t ever feel like you have to apologise for wanting to protect your brother.”

“It’s just.” He arches his neck back, and takes a huge breath of air, clearly trying to compose himself. Eyes like Hendrix’s look back down at me. A little older. A little more worn down. “There have been a lot of times in his life where he needed protecting, and I wasn’t there. So now I overcompensate. Sometimes I’m rude and overbearing, but I promise my heart is in the right place.”

His vulnerability chips away at the anger I held towards him for questioning our choices. I realise I can empathise with every shit turn their lives has taken, but I’ll never really understand the after effects. I will never know what it’s like to love and disappoint someone in the same breath, or be away from your family for so long, you’ve missed a lifetime. I will never know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that pain, and what it takes to learn to live with it.

And for that, I’m the one who should be apologising.

“Jagger, please let me say something.”

“No,” he says adamantly. “I know what you’re going to say and it isn’t necessary, because he’s so fucking happy, and that’s all you.”

“No pressure. No expectation. No hard feelings if it just doesn’t work out. Just a thank you.” He tries to hand me back the bracelet “You’ve taken good care of him.”

I push the plaited fabric back into his hand. “That’s where you have it all wrong. He doesn’t need to be taken care off. He just needs to be set free.”

Giving me a small nod, he swallows the lump in his throat, and looks down at the handmade jewellery.

“Oh.” I clear my throat, getting rid of my emotions. That’s for Em. Buy it for her, she’ll love it.

Keeping up with rituals I promise to text Em when I get home. Drix drives me and my car back to my place, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Me thinking about what Jagger said, him wondering what Jagger said. I feel overwhelmed with things I want to say and things I know I shouldn’t.

Standing at the front door, strong arms wrap around me, cocooning me in. His mouth below my ear. “Are you going to tell me what you two spoke about?”

Giving him better access, I tilt my head, and unlock the door. “Let’s go lay in bed.”

“It's three o'clock in the afternoon.” Refusing to let me go, we walk inside, attached to one another.

“You’ve got somewhere to be?”

“No,” he growls as he nips my earlobe. “I just can't remember the last time I hopped into bed in the middle of the day.”

“My dearest Hendrix, you haven't lived till you've jumped into bed for no other reason than because you can.”

We step into my room, and he lets go of me. “I guess you'll have to teach me”

Walking to my newly designated side of the bed, I take off every stitch of clothing. No seduction. No purpose. I do it just because I can. Hopping under the covers, I turn my sheet covered body to the side. Resting my arm on the bed, I place my cheek on my palm. Looking up at Hendrix, I wave my free hand up and down, gesturing to his clothes.

“Do as you see, Padawan.”

He strips naked, and jumps in beside me. Mirroring my pose, he asks me again. “Are you going to tell me what you two spoke about?”

Choosing to keep the long version to myself, I reveal the part that was most important. “He thanked me for making you happy.”

It's a simple statement, but the weight of it isn't lost on either of us.

Tucking a few strands of my hair behind my ear, he leans forward and whispers in my mouth. “Thank you, Crazy.”

I press my lips to his, giving him small pecks. Moving from the corner of his mouth to the side of his face and down his neck.

Pushing him to his back, I straddle him. Leaving kisses on his chest, down his stomach and back again. I feel the heat from his turned on body, light a match in my own.

With no words and no warning, I grab his stiff cock, and line it up with my entrance. Sliding myself down on him, he groans and I watch his face morph into tortured ecstasy.

Hovering over him, my hair falls like a curtain around us, emphasising our own little world. Movements cease, breathing is heavy. Feeling close and consumed I wrap myself in his gratitude.

Like a feather tracing his lips, my mouth touches him with the utmost reverence. “Thank you.”