I watch him step away from her, but her lips on his, for even a split second still hurts. They’re mine.

They both look at each other shocked. I expect it to change to guilt the minute they see me in the room but whatever was exchanged has shaken them enough not to notice me.

“Drix.” My shaky voice catches both of their attention, but I don’t give anyone but Drix mine. He turns my way, the light from his eyes missing, his brows furrowed in confusion.

His breath becomes louder, more laboured. The rise and fall of his chest, has me confused to whether he’s angry or anxious. Dashing over to him, I walk him back to the bed. He sits, and I kneel down in front of him. “Drix, baby. Just breathe. In. Out.”

He follows my lead enough that his breathing evens, his eyes become a bit more focused, and he notices me.

“Crazy, I’m so fucking sorry.”

My chin trembles at the sound of his broken voice. “I know.” With so many things unknown, he could be apologising for anything, so I take it. I hold it in my heart, and hope this is just goodbye for now. “But we don’t have to do this now, okay?”

“I just—” Too exhausted to talk, he rises. Our eyes lock, seeing only one another.  “I’m sorry I just need some fucking air, okay? Just a minute to think.”

Nodding in understanding I step away from him and watch him walk away from the both of us.

Turning to Sasha, I expect to see victory, but all I see is contempt and anger.  On a mission, I stand in front of her. Toe to toe. Thinking about the man she supposedly loves, the man who is literally crippled by the pain she causes.

Uncomfortable I’m in her space, she steps back, making sure there’s distance between us. I push my own hurt from earlier aside, and with the thought of her having power to ruin my happiness, I let the venom spew.

“You know, I want to tell you how fucking selfish you are.” She jerks her head back at my tone, but I just keep at it. “How your schemes are like poison, picking the perfect time to ruin everything.”

“That man,” I point to the direction Drix left in. “That remarkable, selfless, magnificent fucking man has been at your mercy for too long. He is the perfect friend, the perfect uncle, and the perfect brother, and you insist on reducing him to nothing.”

The adrenaline pumping in my veins fuels my loose lips. “I will never know how he loved someone so fucking manipulative for so long.”

I have to give it to her, she doesn’t shrivel under my heated stare, or any accusation, she just takes it, probably knowing it’s the truth.

“If you love him choose him, Sasha. Don’t throw chaos at him just because you can’t stand the thought of anybody else having him. Be fucking sure because he is pure gold, and you treat him like nothing but trash.”

“That—” she interrupts and I shake my head and hand.

“Just set him free. Let the world experience the full potential of this beautiful man, when he isn’t chained to you and your indecisiveness.”

She cocks her hip, and crosses her hands over her chest. “You mean send him running into your arms.”

“Any woman would be lucky to have him. I noticed that,” I say pointing to my chest. “You didn’t.”  

I school my features, trying to reason with her. “Just Let. Him. Go.”

“What if he doesn’t choose either of us?”

Her question proves to me, she’s as one track minded as I thought, because this isn’t about who he chooses, this is about sacrificing your own needs for the person you love. But there’s no point explaining that to someone like her. Instead, I bite back with the bitchiness she deserves.  “I’ll still fucking die happy, knowing it wasn’t you.”

“You’re a bitch,” she huffs.

“Maybe that’s why he likes us both.”

Placing Dakota’s tickets on the table, I take the silent living room as the perfect time for my escape. Leaving Sasha in the room, I choose not to find Drix. With the high from my confrontation with Sasha dwindling, I feel the cracks in my chest return. And I need to get out of here before I bleed out.

Just as I’m about to pull the front door open, I hear a familiar voice. “Taylah,” Em whisper shouts. “Where are you going?”

I twist to see her, my hand still on the handle. “Why are you whispering?”

“I don’t know,” she says, continuing to whisper. “That’s what people do in tense situations.”

I give half a laugh. “Tense, huh?”

“Are you okay?” She grabs my wrist and pulls it off the cool metal.

“I don’t know. I think I’m having an out of body experience and I need to get home before it all hits at once and I unravel in public.”

“Drix is outside.”

I shrug at her statement because I really have no idea what his side is to any of this, and after he left me stranded for most of the day, I’m pretty sure I know where his head’s at right now.

“Let me drive you,” she insists.

“I just want to be alone, Em.” I lean forward and give her a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Will you answer my calls?”

“Probably not.” She rolls her eyes, and I open the front door. “Oh,” I say looking back. “You might want to check on Sasha in the room. Don’t let her miss the rest of Dakota’s party.”

She salutes me, and I wave bye.

I need to get out of here.

I walk into my room, and my sad face stares back at me. The reminder that I will get through this screaming at me, like I drew her for this very moment. Tugging at my clothes, I pull them off and kick them to the side of the room.

I find one of Drix’s t-shirts, smelling exactly like him, and wear it. I bunch up the material and bring it to my nose, the smell of wood and soap comforts and kills me all in one breath. I grab my phone, and let Phil Collins’ voice lull me into a false sense of hope, while I crawl into bed and nurse my wounds.

Putting angry thoughts of Sasha out of my mind, I let myself cry, acknowledging just how much I’m going to miss him. I think of any single moment that could’ve changed this outcome between us, or something I could’ve done to have avoided this feeling. But there’s nothing.

I should’ve known it was always going to end up like this. His heart was divided, and I chose to ignore it. Drunk on love, I believed something so new, and short, could outlast whatever connection he has to his past.

As the tears continue, I cry for the unknown, I cry for what we had, I cry even more for how much heartache he’s endured, and I cry over the end of the best thing to ever happen to me.  

Eventually he and I will have to say goodbye properly, and I’ll tell him, it wasn’t the little things that hurt the most, it was the loss of the all the big things he and I can’t have.

The house. The kids. The future.

If he was in front of me right now, I would give him one last kiss goodbye and say thank you for the memories. I will remember him with a smile, and gratitude because there’s nothing negative to take away, except we weren’t meant to be.

There’s nothing to fault Hendrix Michaels for, except having a heart big enough to fit two women inside