Chapter 21

Pacey

 

 

I went to Elmer’s in a half-hearted attempt to hang onto some of the good feelings from the night before. The boys had all gone back home, I didn’t know of another poker game being played, but I did know where to find karaoke. So I settled for one out of three and made my way over.

Not that I had any intentions of singing again since I sounded like a cat whose tail was being run over repeatedly. It was one thing in the somewhat safe confines of Tugger’s living room, but another entirely to do it out in public.

Instead of finding those unfamiliar feelings of normal and happy though, I found Juliana—who just so happened to be the one person alive who instantly made my skin feel like it fit and allowed my lungs to remember how to breathe.

I wasn’t planning on talking to her, but my body had plans of its own. My feet were automatically carrying me to her the moment I set eyes on her, and my brain only caught up by the time she was right there in front of me. It was like magic how the world seemed to shift to accommodate me again as soon as I was breathing the same air that she was. Like she’d cast some kind of spell that allowed my body to perform its functions properly.

Her response to me, however, wasn’t quite as magical. I knew that I deserved her snarky comments though, and I generally thought the exchange could have gone a lot worse. It also could have gone a lot better, but it would have been stupid and naive to expect that from her.

I promised I would call and I hadn’t. Simple as that. Only it wasn’t simple, not to me anyway. But there she was and there I was, and once again, I was left wondering if dangling her in front of me was a cruel trick being played on me by the universe. Or that maybe the universe—like my body—had plans of its own.

“One beer, please. Whatever you’ve got on tap is fine,” I ordered absently, my eyes tracking her, watching her chat with the songmaster for a minute, then headed over to the smaller cocktail bar set off to the side.

The bartender slid my beer over, and I slapped some bills down at the same time Juliana grabbed one of the watered-down excuses for a cocktail that Elmer’s kept pre-made on the cocktail bar. She downed the swill in one go, grimacing slightly toward the end and slamming the glass back down.

A couple of guys who’d been singing, or ruining, rather, an old Fall Out Boy song finished and stumbled from the stage, giving each other a high-five at the bottom of the stairs. A familiar intro started playing, and I saw Juliana’s eyes fall closed, then she squared her shoulders and walked in the direction of the stage.

Blonde hair swished from side to side down her back as she marched, hips swaying slightly. I was mesmerized by the way she moved, so effortlessly graceful. The memory of her soft curves against my body, of those hips pressing into mine, was almost overwhelming as I watched her.

As they always did, those memories brought the world into sharper focus around me. Like a layer of dust wiped off a glass, or the steam from a shower door. She was beautiful, so feminine, yet so strong and stubborn.

When she neared the stage, she grabbed some preppy-looking guy and flashed him a bright smile, inclining her head toward the platform. A stab of jealously shot straight to my gut, hot and angry at the sight of her smiling at him.

It grew unexpectedly fierce and more naturally than I ever could have imagined. I had no claim on her, and no right to feel the way I did, but I wanted to launch myself at the guy and make him regret being on the receiving end of that smile. Unfair, maybe, but I couldn’t help it. Then I wanted to pull her into my arms and never let her go.

But I couldn’t do any of those things, so I tipped my head and took a long pull of my beer, relishing the burn of the bubbles down my throat. Anything to distract me from the fact that she was up there with another guy, taking her microphone from its stand just as Olivia Newton-John’s first verse was about to start.

Juliana looked exquisite up there, her hands wrapped around the microphone and her eyes falling closed for just a second. Her hair formed a halo around her, and silhouetted by the stage lights it gave the appearance of golden threads weaved around her head. It was almost ethereal.

Then she opened her mouth, and it was like glass shattering around me. If I sounded like a cat whose tail was being run over, Juliana sounded like one that was being stabbed while the tire kept it pinned in place.

The girl couldn’t carry a tune for shit, but somehow that made her seem even more perfect. The fact that she went up there anyway and was passionately and enthusiastically belting out the lyrics made a rush of pride run through me.

Her duet partner, on the other hand, didn’t seem as impressed as I was. She was making eyes, trying to engage him in the song, but he stood there gaping at her like an idiot. With a slight shake of his head, he shrugged and ducked off stage.

Aww hell.

Juliana kept singing, but her eyes were now darting around nervously and that same feeling from before, wanting to sweep her up in my arms, returned full force. Only this time, I wanted to protect her. From anything and everything. From the embarrassment of standing up there by herself when Travolta’s part was imminent, from the looks of pity the crowd was giving her. Everything. 

My body reacted instinctively again, and I only missed Travolta’s first line before I was up there next to her, grabbing the microphone and singing my part without having to look at the lyrics on the prompter screen. Julia shot me a smile, set her feet apart as though she was bracing herself or summoning her strength, then she was back, singing with a confidence I knew she didn’t feel.

Someone in the audience cheered, and I saw Juliana’s shoulders relax. It got better from there, the two of us singing so off-key that it kind of started working somehow. With my microphone in hand, I crossed the stage to Juliana, grabbed her hand and spun her around.

We settled into a decidedly unsexy dance, but Juliana laughed and went with it. Swinging her hips and allowing me to dip her low at the end, she was carefree, spontaneous, fun. So many things that I hadn’t experienced or felt in forever, if ever. Certainly never with a woman.

The audience sang the final few lines with us, breaking into a round of applause. Juliana was flushed, glowing. She kept her hand in mine, giving a small bow that I mirrored before we hustled from the stage.

“God, I don’t know that I was thinking.” Juliana groaned once we were down the stairs, looking up at me with a sheepish smile that made me suspect that she knew exactly what she’d been thinking. But then she threw her arms around me, and I did likewise, and all thoughts and suspicions ceased at the feel of finally having her so close to me again.

Breathing in her familiar vanilla scent, I gave her a light squeeze, my mouth above her ear. “Whatever it was, you were great up there.”

She scoffed but hugged me tighter before she released me. When she stepped away, I felt immediately empty and cold.

“If I was great, it was only because you rode in for the rescue.” She told me, sincerity shining in her hazel eyes. Try as I might, I couldn’t figure out which color was winning in this light, the blue and green seemed to be swirling together and coexisting peacefully for the moment.

“Rode in for the rescue?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Juliana smiled, then pressed her lips together as she peered up at me, eyes narrowing like she was trying to figure something out. “You always seem to be doing that, don’t you? Saving me from something. It’s uncanny how you’re always in the right place at the right time.”

“You’re telling me,” I murmured. It looked like we were on the same page about the way we kept being thrown together somehow. She was still standing so close to me, staring up at me with questions in her eyes and slightly parted lips.

Something in me clicked. I wouldn’t have called it serendipity, exactly. My feelings on the matter were still too jumbled for something like that, but before I could think about what I was doing, or stop myself from doing it, one hand was cupping her face while the other wrapped around her waist.

I tugged her roughly into my chest and bent my head at the same time, capturing her lips and kissing her deeply. Just as it happened the first time I kissed her, she stilled a moment before responding, then kissed me back with reckless abandon. Like she just couldn’t help herself, and I fucking loved it.

My hand slid from her cheek to the nape of her neck, and I held her to me, my focus narrowing to only her. Blood rushed to my ears and my cock at the same time, and soon I didn’t know which of my organs were pounding harder. Juliana pressed up against me, her hands threading around my shoulders so they could wander up into my hair. It was only our third kiss, but her reactions felt so familiar already, so right.

I was vaguely aware of someone catcalling and another person yelling. “Get a room!”

Though I was loathe to do it, I broke the kiss, breathing as hard as Juliana was and suddenly desperate to get her out of there. And not only to get that damn room. I grabbed her hand and pushed through the few stragglers standing off the side of the stage, waiting their turn or simply wanting a close-up look. I didn’t know, but they were standing between me and the apology I owed Juliana.

Thankfully, the going was easy to the back exit with people shifting or moving without even really looking to allow up to pass. Pushing open the door that led to the parking lot out back, I tugged Juliana out behind me and let the door fall closed.

“What’re we—” Juliana started, but I pulled her back into my arms and kissed her again, drinking from her lips like they were an ice-cold beer in the middle of the Sahara Desert.

“I’m sorry, Juliana,” I said, speaking against her lips when I broke the kiss. “I’m sorry for not calling. I had my reasons and wanting some space was only one of them, but I still should have called. I thought about you though, even though I didn’t call. I thought about you just about every second of every day we were apart. I know it was a dick move to promise I’d call and not follow through with it, but is there any way you could forgive me?”

I was suddenly desperate for her forgiveness; I needed it even. Sucking in a deep breath that I didn’t release as I waited for an answer, I did something I hadn’t done for the longest time.

Throwing caution to the wind, I prayed for a second chance.