Chapter 22

Juliana

 

 

Staring up into Pacey’s eyes, my head was positively spinning. I couldn’t keep up with this guy. One day he was promising he’d call, the next he let me down—hurting me worse than what was actually reasonable under the circumstances. Now, he was looking down at me and actually holding his breath while waiting for my answer.

He was racking up some serious points though, hurt or not. First by saving me while I bombed it on stage, not only literally stepping up to save me from embarrassment, but then actually making me forget that I couldn’t sing to save my life and actually enjoy the experience.

Then he’d kissed me in that way he had to make me feel like I was only the girl in the world. Wanted, cherished, possessed, and now he’d apologized for not calling. Not only was he always there when I needed him somehow, but he also seemed to know exactly what to say to answer questions that were left unasked.

Something in him called out to something in me. My blood sang when he was near, and my skin felt electrified whenever and wherever he touched me. He tilted his head slightly, and at that moment, I knew exactly what to do. It was inevitable, undeniable, and unavoidable.

Reaching up, I grabbed his face and brought it down to mine, kissing him on my terms. Pacey responded immediately, kissing me hungrily as his hands tunneled into my hair and pulled me close to him. Being in his arms made me feel safe despite the fact that he’d hurt me so recently. He tasted faintly of beer and something else: just him. My fingers curled into his soft hair, his body hard and warm against mine.

Someone wolf-whistled from somewhere behind us, and I realized that I’d gotten so lost in Pacey, that I’d forgotten we were in a parking lot. I felt his smile against my lips; then he broke away from me.

“Looks like we’re doing a great job of keeping the audience entertained tonight.”

Pacey didn’t look concerned about it at all, keeping me in the circle of his arms as he shrugged. Our eyes locked and something passed between us. Then we were both moving, our fingers seeking each other out as I led him to my car.

“Not that I mind going wherever it is that you’re taking me, but where are we going?” he asked, when we left the parking lot behind, still walking down the block to where I’d parked.

“To my car, then to my house. It’s closer than yours, and I’m tired of having an audience.” I needed to be alone with him, and for life and people to stop getting in our way. I hadn’t quite given any thought yet to what I wanted to do with him once I got him back to my place.

I still felt like it was too soon to sleep with him, but I was going with what felt right. Getting him all to myself felt right, and whatever happened after that would happen.

Pacey gave me a quick look but kept walking next to me. When we neared the Jeep, I clicked the key fob and heard the locks open. He let go of my hand, going to the passenger side and opening the door, but then held it open.

“What’re you doing?”

“Opening the door for you. I got here three sips of beer ago, so I’m driving.” Crap, he was right. I’d gotten there three cocktails ago, and although any buzz I’d been getting on before the karaoke had long since been drowned out by first humiliation, and then adrenaline, I knew I was still over the limit.

I held up my keys to him and slid into the seat, holding on to the keys for just a second when he went to take them. “She’s my baby; treat her well.”

Pacey rolled his eyes and smirked, plucking the keys from my hand and placing a quick, chaste kiss on my lips. “You already know I’m a good driver, and you’ll be right here.”

True. “Okay, let’s go then.”

He gave me a salute, closed my door, and rounded the Jeep to the driver’s side. After he’d adjusted the seat to make room for his gigantic frame and fiddled with the rearview mirror, he pulled out and headed in the direction of my house.

“Does this mean I’m forgiven?” he asked, glancing at me before his eyes went firmly back to the road.

I didn’t know to answer him; did I forgive him? It sure felt like I had, but there was also still a pit in my stomach that told me that I might’ve had some lingering feelings of apprehension and betrayal.

“That remains to be seen.” It was the only honest answer I could give him.

Pacey nodded slowly and reached for my hand. “I can live with that.”

Our fingers twined and laced together, and I looked down at our joined hands. We fit together so damn well, it was like I was designed to be with him, but if that was true, surely, he felt it too and would have called.

Gah! This was so confusing, yet I was powerless to stop it. I wanted to be near him. I wanted him to be near me, to find out if every part of us fit together as well as it felt like it did.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn’t realize we were on my street until Pacey was pulling up in my driveway and shutting down the engine. He turned to look at me without opening his door.

“Okay, we’re here. I’m not going to be an asshole and make any assumptions, especially since you haven’t fully forgiven me. What do you want, Juliana? You need to know that I’m good with whatever it is, even if it’s walking you to your door and saying goodnight.”

Pausing with my hand on the door handle, I gave his hand a light squeeze. “I want you to come inside. If you want to.”

He gave a soft laugh. “Are you kidding me? Of course I want to.”

I pulled on the handle and climbed out of the car without another word, heading to my front door. Pacey’s door opened and shut behind me, then his hand was on my lower back, and he fell into step behind me. He leaned against me slightly, his lips brushing the shell of my ear when I tried to unlock my door and I fumbled with my keys.

“Here, let me,” he said softly, his hand closing over mine to take the keys from me.

Damn, the man was controlling. But the way in which he took control was so gentle, so genuine, that instead of making me feel incapable, it made me feel taken care of. Protected.

I barely suppressed a shiver from the chills that swept down my spine. With a quick, sure movement, he unlocked the door, then turned the handle, and I stepped inside my small entrance hall, flipping on a light.

I looked back over my shoulder to find him standing in the doorway, bracing his hands on the doorframe. He waited there, radiating blatant sexual energy, his eyes a combination of lust and indecision.

“What’re you waiting for? An invitation?”

“Yes,” he answered, without hesitation. “You know that inviting me inside earlier doesn’t mean you have let me in now, right? Or that if you do, it doesn’t mean anything has to happen.”

My lips curled into a half-smile, and I sighed in fake exasperation. “I don’t know how to do calligraphy, so I can’t make you a written invitation, but I meant it when I said I wanted you to come in. As for what happens then, we’ll never know if you keep standing at the threshold.”

“Yeah, guess you’re right,” he said, as he pushed off the frame and stalked forward. My pulse quickened as he filled my vision, my thoughts jumping to what it’d felt like to have his skin under my fingers. In two strides, he was standing right there, his breath sweet as he leaned down, with his lips only inches away from mine.

Pacey watched me expectantly, waiting for something with a hint of hunger in his eyes. His raw desire made me powerful and turned on, all the uncertainty faded into the background. I wanted this; I wanted him. I had since the first time I’d seen him, and he wanted me.

Suddenly, I knew what he was waiting for. My voice was only just louder than a whisper when I said, “Yes. This is okay; I’m okay.”

His mouth brushed over mine almost sweetly, our lips meeting for a soft caress that I pushed myself up on my toes to deepen. It was a different kind of kiss from those we’d had before, and it sent awareness rushing through my limbs, my nerve endings waking as the heat in my blood zapped at them.

One of his hands came up to grip my waist while the other cupped my face. The kiss changed when he ran his tongue across my lower lip and slid inside my mouth, rubbing mine with that same expertise that had driven me out of my mind last time. Only this time, I had no intention of stopping him. No reservations that he was absolutely what I wanted.

I knew that things were happening too fast with him, but I didn’t care anymore. Within seconds, I was pushing his leather jacket back over his shoulders, and his hands were on the knot that kept my dress in place.

Deftly tugging on the knot, it came loose, and he hurriedly went to work on the inside knot on the dress with a soft groan falling from his lips when he discovered it. “Please tell me this is the last one.”

“Nope,” I smiled, then it dawned on me that we were still in my entrance hall. “Bedroom?”

“Where?” he asked, taking my earlobe between his teeth and sucking on it.

Holy hell. That felt amazing. My thoughts spun, and I pushed up against him, trying to get closer to him when I remembered he had asked me a question.

“Down the hall,” I whispered, jerking my head toward it. His hands fell to my ass, and he lifted me effortlessly, like I weighed nothing or belonged against him that way. I hooked my ankles behind him as his lips returned to mine.

Carrying me down the hall, he kept kissing me, his tongue hot and insistent. I returned his kisses feverishly. The curtains in my bedroom were open, the one streetlight outside softening the angles of his body when he lay me down on my bed, the mattress dipping slightly from the weight of him when he climbed on after me.

Then he was above me, sexier and more gorgeous than he’d ever been before. His mouth slid down my jaw to my neck, my breathing hitching with each one of his kisses, my fingers combing through his thick hair.

I’d only had three cocktails, but I felt drunk. Intoxicated by him. His lips on my skin, his scent in my bedroom, his weight as he kept himself propped on his forearms with his lower body against mine. Being with Pacey like this made me feel a pure, primal need. I was burning up, writhing underneath him, tugging at the hem of his shirt. He lifted his head from my throat, the ghost of a smile on his lips as he reached behind his head and pulled it off seamlessly.

My breath caught when I took in the absolute perfection that was Pacey’s torso. Without conscious thought I reached for him, my fingers skimming the deep indentations of his abs, almost reverently exploring the cords of muscle that I’d previously only felt through his shirt. He sighed and closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, his eyes were darker than I’d ever seen as he raked them over my body in my half-opened dress. His fingers nimbly undid the last knot, and I lifted my shoulders so he could push it off, the fabric pooling underneath me.

He sucked in a deep breath when he took me in, wearing nothing but the bra and panties that I’d sworn I’d worn for myself, but somewhere deep inside had hoped he would get to see. Even if I hadn’t wanted to admit it to myself or hope for it before.

“You’re so damn gorgeous,” I whispered, my eyes hungrily sweeping every inch of his tanned, exposed skin.

He smiled and ran his hand between my breasts, while my hands looped around his neck so that I could pull him back down to me. He came willingly, punctuating his words with kisses. “I was thinking the same thing, but mine was a little naughtier.”

Laughing, he shook his head and lowered his weight over me again. “Okay, full disclosure, it wasn’t a little naughtier. It was lot naughtier.”

I smiled against his mouth and ran my hands down the muscles in his back, my breathing picking up quickly. “Show me.”

My hips rocked against his, and he let out a low hiss when we connected. I felt him against my core through the few layers of material we still had left between us. As his hands skimmed my ribs, I arched up, and he finally palmed one of my breasts.

I whimpered as his thumb brushed over my nipple, tightening both of them to little peaks. Pacey kissed me again, long and deep. “You sure?”

“No,” I snapped, frustrated that he was refusing to touch me properly. “I was asking you to show me constellations again.”

His hand skirted down my side, smirking as he smacked his head with his hand and watched me writhe beneath him. “Yeah? Okay, let’s go, then.”

“Pacey,” I practically growled at him. He leaned down and took my breast into his mouth, and I moaned out loud. The hand that wasn’t making its way to where I needed it most undid the front clasp of my bra, and then his mouth was on me properly.

My hips rocked again, seeking out some sort of pressure to satiate the need spiraling tight within me. I found it in the form of a still-covered erection, and he let me grind against him for a second before he brought his fingers to rub over the lacy thong I was wearing.

All thoughts rushed from my mind when he pushed the fabric aside and ran his fingers along my seam. His thumb dipped to brush my clit, and I saw fireworks explode behind my eyebrows. A gasp of pleasure burst through me.

“God, Juliana. You’re killing me.” Pacey groaned when I bucked against his hand. Our gazes locked and the intensity in his was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. He covered my mouth with his, stroking me faster. “Slow later, yeah?”

“Yes,” I hissed. I would’ve agreed to go to the moon with him if that was what he wanted, so long as he kept going. My hands flew to his shoulders when he increased the pressure on my clit, my nails biting into his skin.

If he kept going, I was going to—“Pacey!”

“Let go, baby. Come for me,” he whispered, changing up his angle and stroking me with expert precision that I didn’t care to know where he’d learned.

The all-consuming need for him overtook me, and with a final brush of his fingers, an amazing orgasm ripped through me. My muscles tightened and quivered as white-hot pleasure shot from my core to my extremities.

Pacey kissed me as I started coming down, panting and trembling, and somehow still wanting him. Even more than before. If he could do that with only his fingers, I needed more.

“I love watching you come,” he told me, his voice sounding like a revelation that stripped away my defenses and expended the connection that I felt with him.

There was more than a physical need burning in his eyes when he looked at me, almost in wonder, though his muscles were locked tight and his posture betrayed that he needed me as much as I needed him—if not more.

Our eyes locked and I felt such an intense connection with him that it felt almost tangible. “Make love to me, Pacey. And don’t ask me if I’m sure.”

He groaned and shook his head again. “I—”

Silencing him with a kiss, I let my thighs fall open as I unbuttoned his jeans. “I want you, Pacey. Now.”

He kept his eyes on mine as he sat back and quickly discarded the remainder of his clothes, pulling a condom from his wallet before he dropped it on his jeans. The room was only lit with the soft light from the street outside, but he was still gloriously naked. His eyes were hot on mine as he sheathed himself. 

My stomach clenched in anticipation when he crawled over me again, tenting himself above me. He leaned his forehead against mine as his cock nudged at my entrance. We didn’t break eye contact as he slid into me, filling me perfectly and hitting spots inside me that had never been hit quite the way he did before.

“Juliana,” he whispered my name like it was a prayer.

Arching my hips, we both cried out when he hit home. He started moving after only a moment, starting with sure, slow strokes that carefully tended to the fire he was igniting in my very soul. It was too much. The way he was looking at me, the way our bodies fit together so perfectly, just as I thought they would. Too soon, I was climbing that ledge again.

But this time when I went over, he flew right over with me. Our moans mingled in the air, though mine were more like screams.

Afterwards, we lay together, breathing heavily, and with his chest as my pillow, I drifted off to sleep.