13
“Stevie!” Kenny said, hugging Steve as he stepped inside his best friend’s house. One of the things he loved about his little brother was his unwavering excitement every time he saw him. It was so infectious that he couldn’t not smile; it was so good to see his little brother.
No matter what he went through, when he saw his little brother’s eyes, he saw hope. It was that hope that could only live inside of someone who hadn’t been crushed by the harsh realities of life just yet.
“Hey, man,” Steve cooed, hugging him back. “You been behaving?” He headlocked his brother playfully, ruffling his hair before releasing him.
“Kinda,” said Kenny, pushing him away. He was going to be a tough guy too. Steve could see it in him.
Steve laughed. “Right.”
He couldn’t help but smile at his little redheaded brother. He was also going to be a good-looking guy when he grew up. Between that, the book smarts, and the street smarts, he just knew that he would make it one day. Steve just had to keep him out of trouble until then.
As he watched his little brother try and straighten his hair, he hoped that for his sake Kenny didn’t grow up to be like him and was only into girls. At least that way he wouldn’t have to fight the internal battles that he’d had to his whole life.
So many times, he’d wanted to be normal like all the guys he played sports with, but it doesn’t work that way.
They had it so easy, and he resented them for it. He was tired of pretending. Not being able to talk with anyone about other dudes he was into…or even how he felt about them. Whether it was normal or not? It was a very lonely life.
Well, that was until he’d met James. He had felt like he could tell James anything, that he finally had someone he could open up with that was into the same things. It was such a relief and such a huge weight off his chest that he couldn’t believe his luck. And yet now, it was all over. As quickly as it had begun.
Trying to take his mind off what had just happened, he looked around at Dennis’s living room. It was a simply decorated affair. Dennis’s parents were anything but rich, but compared to the conditions Steve and his brother lived in, well, everyone else was rich.
The home was painted with pastel colors, making it seem lively and always welcoming. On top of that, his parents, who were always out of town, kept the fridge stocked to the brim, and they had a maid who came every week, ensuring that the place never got dirty.
Their neighborhood wasn’t rich either, but they also didn’t have to worry about being shot at by drunk rednecks like Steve and Kenny had to. That was when their father wasn’t beating them.
“Are we going to go back home, now?” Kenny asked, sitting on the edge of his best friend’s couch and kicking his feet back and forth.
It was hard for his little brother to be shuffled around in such an unstable environment, never knowing security or consistency. Steve wished he could do much better.
He just had to hold on. They both did. He had to focus on sports. It was their one ticket out of there, and he knew that it was just a matter of time. Things were bound to turn around for them.
Steve sighed and conjured up a smile. “Not yet, little brother. Let’s let things cool down. Dad’s gonna be driving the truck tomorrow and he’ll be gone for a few days. That’s a good time to leave.”
Kenny nodded, understanding what Steve was really saying as he sat next to him. He picked up a magazine and flipped through the pages. He needed something to take his mind off of things.
Kenny stared at him and Steve looked at him funny. “What?”
“Why do you look so sad?” Kenny asked. The kid was intuitive as hell. He must have picked up on the mood Steve was in after the fight he’d had with James. He’d tried to hide it when he came inside, but this was the kind if pain that was beyond surface level. It wasn’t so easy to hide.
“I’m not sad,” said Steve, hoping to change to topic. He didn’t want his brother wrapped up in any of this drama. He was a child, and deserved to have as happy a childhood as he could. The life he lived, this was hard enough already.
Punching Steve in the arm, he said, “Yes, you are, ‘cause your face is doing this,” Kenny said, pouting in exaggerated mimicry.
Despite himself, he cracked up laughing. Out of the mouth of babes. Steve said, “You’re too smart for your age, you know that?”
The little boy shrugged. “I know,” Kenny said.
Shaking his head, Steve thought about what his brother’s life could be like if only they could get a break. Their life had been nothing but an emotional rollercoaster since Kenny was born. He wondered where his dad was. Probably passed out at some bar, or worse yet, out on the road, driving his truck drunk.
He shuddered to think of the times that his dad had gone on the road when he shouldn’t have, putting his life at risk. Yes, he hated his father for what he did to him. But he didn’t wish death upon him. Really, he just hoped, despite how pointless he knew it was, that one day everything would go back to normal and his father would wake up one day and stop drinking. But yeah, there was little chance of that happening.
So many times when Steve was younger, he’d hidden his father’s keys to keep him from going out on the road. It had earned him more than a few beatings, but it was worth it. He’d already lost a mom. He didn’t want to lose his dad, too.
“Where’s Dennis?” Steve asked. He didn’t like the idea of his brother coming home to an empty house. Not because he hadn’t been left alone before, but more in case his father decided to drop by. It had happened once or twice in the past, and the thought of it made Steve feel sick.
Kenny shrugged and said, “He went to get—”
As if on cue, the door opened and his best friend stepped inside, carrying some bags. The scent of fried chicken, French fries, and a million other delicious things Steve couldn’t eat filled the air.
His stomach rumbled as he eyed the bags, screaming its protests at the poor diet it was offered on a daily basis.
“Kenny!” Dennis’s voice bellowed from the kitchen. It was good to see his friend. He was his only true friend, really.
Dennis had seen Steve in both his best and his worst moments. He was the one person who he knew held back.
“Hey, asshole,” Steve said, with a teasing smile. There was so much he wanted to tell Dennis, especially about him being into dudes. He just didn’t know how Dennis would react, and couldn’t fathom losing his best friend over it.
Dennis laughed. “Who let this piece of shit in the house?” He set the bags down on the dining room table; the table groaning over the weight of them.
Steve glared at him playfully. “Fuck you.”
Pulling the food out of the bags, Dennis asked, “You hungry? Picked up some fried chicken. Unless you’re on one of those weird sports diets again.” Sometimes Dennis was too good to them, and for that Steve would always be grateful. He knew that he went out of his way to buy extra food to feed the two.
Leaping from the couch, Kenny pushed past him and bounced up and down at the sight of the food. It broke Steve’s heart that his little brother couldn’t eat like this every day; the fact that fried chicken was a treat rather than a staple was awful.
“Nah, I can eat,” Steve said. He was starving, and his best friend could see it in his eyes. He knew Steve too well, and although he never said specifically that he bought the extra food for the two of them, they both knew that he did.
Dennis smiled at Kenny. He was like a little brother to him, too. “Well, chow down. Kenny, set the table, will you?”
“Okay,” Kenny said excitedly. He didn’t need telling twice. He ran off and climbed on top of the stool to get the dishes out.
Dennis cleared his throat. Steve eyed him as he did. He knew what this meant. There was something he wanted to talk to him about. He always did that whenever he wanted to talk about something serious.
“How’d it go with the coach?” asked Dennis. That was the last topic he wanted to discuss, but he should have known it was coming.
Steve shrugged as if it was no big deal. “It was cool. I told you, gonna be helping out there a few days a week.” He grabbed a fry and stuffed it in his mouth, hoping that Dennis would drop the topic.
Dennis took a fry too. “I hope he pays you well.” He paid him, all right. But it wasn’t dollars he was after; rather, it was the coach’s cock in his ass that he wanted the most.
Even now, as his heart broke over the way he’d been treated, he couldn’t get the experience out of his mind. It was a once-in-a-lifetime chance that, before the proceeding events, he’d hoped would be more than that.
He’d let Coach James go further with him than he’d ever gone with anybody. The way that the coach had dominated him, taking control and willingly showing him just what to expect from being intimate with a man, was more than he could have ever dreamed. But on top of that, he felt safe with him, too. It was like when he was with him, nothing could hurt him. It was like all his dreams, the ones that seemed so far away when he was around his father, were suddenly in reach.
But that had all come crashing down when they had been interrupted by that fucking phone call.
Pulling out a seat, Steve sat down at the table. “Yeah. I mean, I don’t know how much longer, but I’ll make the money while I can.”
“What’s he like?” asked Dennis. What a peculiar question to ask. His best friend never asked things like that. And why would he even care?
“I mean, he’s all right,” Steve said dismissively, getting nervous now. Truth be told, he wanted to steer clear of this conversation. He was a terrible liar at the best of times and knew his friend could read him like a book.
“He’s pretty tough on the court. Seen him at your games,” Dennis said. He knew his best friend well enough to know that he was beating around the bush. The only question was, did Steve want to know what was in the bush?
“Has to be,” said Steve, picking at the fried chicken. There was something else Dennis wanted to ask, and the topic made Steve’s heart beat faster.
Dennis took a seat at the table and glanced at Kenny in the kitchen, as if to make sure he wasn’t overhearing them. “Well, as long as he doesn’t take advantage of you. That’s all I’m saying.”
“What do you mean?” Steve asked, his eyes shifting to his little brother, who was busy collecting the silverware. He just hoped that if Dennis did suspect something, he’d have enough tact to not air it in front of Kenny.
Dennis shrugged, but the way he stared at his hands told Steve there was more to say. “Nothing, it’s just…”
Steve leaned forward. “What?” If he had something to say, he wanted him to come out and say it now. Steve had had a tough day, and all this dancing around was only making it worse.
“Heard some things, that’s all,” said Dennis, mumbling barely above a whisper. Steve’s heart stopped.
“Like what?” he asked. He had to know. His little brother was still away from the table, so now was as good a time as any. If anyone ever found out about the two of them, his life would be ruined.
At the same time, Steve couldn’t help but worry about his coach, too. Rumors like that, especially in their small Oregon town, often led to people losing their jobs—their careers, in fact.
Dennis took a fry, then another. Then another, until Steve put his hand on top of his to keep him from procrastinating around the question. “That he’s into dudes or whatever.”
Steve cleared his grip and pushed the food away. He lowered his tone so Kenny wouldn’t hear. “What the fuck? That’s bullshit. Who says that?”
Dennis shook his head. “Dude, you haven’t heard that?” He actually hadn’t heard that at all. Until today, when his cock was in the older man’s mouth, he had had no idea, thinking that it was all fantasy.
“Doesn’t matter. It’s not like you’re gay or anything,” said Dennis, stuffing more food in his mouth.
Steve swore that as he said that, he shifted his eyes, as if to check what his answer would be. But it must have just been his imagination, as his friend chowed down on more food.
“Uh, yeah,” said Steve, grabbing one of the pieces of chicken and chowing down nervously. His best friend and he had never really talked about anything like this before, and it created a weird tension in the room that was only broken by the delighted squeals of his little brother, happily, and ignorantly, grabbing at the bevvy of food that he was so not used to.
Dennis put his hands behind his neck and leaned back. “I mean, last thing I need is a faggot for a best friend hitting on me.”
Dennis laughed as if he had said was some grand joke. But Steve, choking up on his food, had to double take before he forced a laugh too. He knew his friend well enough to be certain he was only kidding around. “Funny. I’m hungry, let’s eat. Hey, think I could crash here tonight on the couch?”
He had to change the subject. Beads of sweat trailed under his armpits. He’d never been more uncomfortable with Dennis before. Sure, he was pretty certain that Dennis didn’t suspect a thing, but the fact that he had even brought the topic up was suspect enough. He knew that he would have to be careful from now on. It was just lucky that the episode with Coach James had effectively ended their relationship. Just in time, it would seem…despite how hard it was for him to admit.
“Not unless you want to share a bed with me,” said Dennis, nudging him.
Steve pushed him away and laughed. “Shut the fuck up.”