29
Steve
Steve bit his nails and stared out the window as the houses blurred by. Try as he might, he couldn’t get his mind off of what Dennis had said. What was he hinting at, exactly? He looked across at the man that was driving the car, convincing himself that Dennis had just been trying to upset him…but why would he?
James was a good guy. Everything in his gut told him that. Since he had met him, he had completely turned his life around. From giving him a part-time job to helping him with his father. It seemed that all he wanted to do was help him. But he couldn’t deny something nagged at him too.
The older man had hidden something. He knew that for a fact. Although it was only a fake last name, Steve couldn’t help but think that now there must be more to this. What it was, Steve couldn’t be sure, but something told him it was big enough of a deal that James didn’t want him to know about it. He wanted to ask, but he was also scared of what he might find.
“You cool?” asked James, nudging him. The jerking movement startled Steve out of his intense daydream and he sat up, rolling down the window to let some cold air in.
“Uh, yeah,” said Steve, biting his nails again. He tried to act natural, but his expression was likely a dead giveaway. He hoped that he could pass it off as worry over Dennis, rather than what was really bothering him.
“You sure?” asked James, his face etched with genuine concern.
James squeezed his hand, but instead of squeezing back, Steve let it go limp. He wasn’t sure about anything anymore, even if James did give him a sexy smile in return.
Steve nodded. James looked back and grinned at Steve’s sleeping brother. “Cute kid.” Steve looked at Kenny, snoring away and leaning against the door. He hoped he’d made the right decision.
If he fucked up his life, that was one thing, but he’d never forgive himself if he did the same to Kenny. Kenny was innocent in all of this and didn’t deserve to suffer because of him. Everything he ever did was for that kid.
Steve realized that he had to know. He couldn’t take it any longer. But he also knew that he couldn’t just come out and ask directly. He would need to be subtle. Try and milk the answer from him.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” He took a deep breath through his nose, hoping he didn’t say too much.
James gave him a confused look. “What?” he asked, turning back onto the highway.
“Us staying with you?” asked Steve. He needed to hear he’d made the right decision, that all the worries he had were unfounded. He wanted James to tell him that from now on everything was going to be okay. And more than that, he wanted to believe it.
The older man squeezed him on the shoulder reassuringly. “Of course. Why the second thoughts?” he asked.
Steve shrugged. He wanted to tell James all his doubts. He wanted to spill his guts out to him so they could have everything out in the open. That was what a relationship was meant to be, wasn’t it? Two people totally open with one another? And yet he couldn’t do it.
“I don’t know,” he said instead.
“Did he say something to you?” asked James, taking a deep breath. Steve hadn’t told him what had happened between him and Dennis, acting like Dennis hadn’t even mentioned the phone call. But like Dennis, James could read him like an open book. Try as he might, he just couldn’t lie to him.
“Who?” asked Steve, playing innocent, despite how pointless he knew it was. He didn’t want to get his best friend in trouble either. He really hoped that the older man would just drop it.
James narrowed his eyes at him, indicating for him to stop playing dumb. “Dennis.”
“Did I tell you his name?” asked Steve. He just realized that he hadn’t remembered telling James at all. He’d told him they were going to his best friend’s house, but had never said his name out loud.
James cleared his throat, his eyes averting Steve’s. “No, but…”
Fuck, Dennis was right, then. The man was hiding something. But what was it?
“You know him?” Steve waited for the answer with bated breath. What the hell was going on?
The question wasn’t answered immediately, which only made the younger man more suspicious. He could see the wheels turning in James’s mind as he struggled to find the answer…or the lie.
Now, it was James’s turn to crack the window. The hollow highway noises filled the truck. “Steve, why are you acting all strange now? Are you feeling okay?”
Steve turned away. He was pissed. He wanted to know more, but first, he needed to square some things away in his head. “Yeah, I’m feeling fine. Can we just get to your place? I’m tired.”
James lowered his tone, and then shifted gears roughly. “Hey, do me a favor? Curb the attitude. You hear?”
“Whatever,” said Steve, turning away. He didn’t want to be chastised like a child, not today, not now. James was in the wrong here, not him. And one way or another, he was going to get answers.