Chapter Ten
THEY DROVE TO Duck Harbor and left their shoes, a blanket, and a bag with the wine and sandwiches that they’d brought on the side of the dune and walked hand in hand by the water’s edge. Pepper trotted happily beside them, tethered by his new leash. The wet sand was cold between Leanna’s toes, and a light breeze came in with the crashing waves. It had been a long time since she’d walked hand in hand with a man. Kurt’s hands were big and strong, and as strange as it seemed, the word safe came to mind when she thought about their interlocked fingers.
“Tell me about your life, Leanna. You said you’re here for the summer, but where do you live when you’re not at the Cape?”
She’d been trying to figure out how to explain her crazy life all day, and now, walking beside Kurt, she threw out the preconceived ideas she’d come up with and decided to go with complete honesty. What did she have to lose besides maybe the most thoughtful guy on earth?
“I lived in Pullman, Washington, for a few months, where I was helping a friend with her floral business. I gave up my apartment when I came here to start my business. I’m kind of a wanderer, I guess. Growing up as a military brat sort of set me up to move around a lot.”
“Your family is military? My dad’s retired army, four-star-general through and through.”
“Yeah? Did you move around a lot?”
Kurt shook his head. “No. I guess we were lucky in that regard. I like knowing I’m coming home to the same comfortable and familiar house. But my dad is the epitome of a military father. Strict and maybe a little cold at times. How about you?”
“Cold? Really? My father’s one of the warmest men I know. He’s not at all a typical military guy, I don’t think. In fact, I’m sure of it. He’s very forgiving of his children. Probably too much so.” She noticed tension lines around Kurt’s mouth that hadn’t been there a moment ago. “Do you and your dad get along?”
He shifted his eyes to her. “Yeah, sure. He’s a good guy, and I respect him for all he’s done. He’s just…He pushed us all pretty hard when we were growing up. You know the type. Do better. Do more. Be the best at whatever you do.” He stopped to pick up a stone and tossed it into the water. “I think it’s what’s driven me to be so focused on my career, so it was a good thing. At least for me.”
“If my dad had a little of that in him, then it might have helped me,” she admitted.
He pulled her close and gazed into her eyes. She loved his face, the soft crease beside his nose, the sweet fullness of his lips, and she could look at his eyes all night. Kurt had kind, emotional eyes. She read a thousand things in them in the space of a breath. Happiness, hope, generosity, desire. What she didn’t see was what she’d seen earlier—the restrained yearning to be writing. And she was relieved.
“Helped you with what?”
She shifted her eyes away. This was the hard part. A little fear weaseled its way into her heart and kicked up her pulse.
When she didn’t answer, he took her hand and turned back in the direction they’d come. He didn’t push her for an answer or act as though he was annoyed by her silence. She added that to the growing list of things she really liked about Kurt.
“Do you have a big family?” she asked.
“Yeah. Four brothers and a sister. We’re all pretty close. I meet them for drinks about once a month, and we all have dinner with our parents every few weeks. You?” he asked.
“Mm-hm. Three brothers and a sister.” She stole a glance at him, and he draped his arm around her shoulder.
“I’m not going to judge you, you know. Not that you have to tell me anything, but I can see you’re worrying about something.” He kissed the side of her head. “I like who you are.”
“You might not after you get to know me better.” She held her breath, and when he squeezed her shoulder, she relaxed a little. They made their way back to the blanket, and Kurt tied Pepper’s leash around his ankle.
“Sit,” he told Pepper. Pepper lay down with his head on his front paws.
“I still can’t believe you can get him to do that.” She held the plastic wineglasses as he filled them.
“I think it’s all in the voice. My father used that trick with us. You know, the one tone that had you shaking in your shoes.”
“I guess, but my dad never used that with us.” She watched him closely, looking for signs of his wishing he were elsewhere.
He leaned his elbows on his knees, and for a few minutes there was only the sound of the waves.
“I’m not thinking about writing, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“What makes you think I’m wondering anything at all?”
He turned to look at her and smiled. “You’ve got an assessing look in your eyes. When you look at me, you’re kind of sizing me up, or weighing what you should or shouldn’t say. I can feel it.” He took a sip of wine. “Am I wrong?”
She traced the line of a muscle up his arm. “No. You’re right. Here’s the thing. I’m twenty-eight, well educated, well traveled, and besides being with Pepper, I’ve never found a single thing that I knew without a doubt was right for me. I’ve gone through eight jobs in the last two years. I’ve moved to three states in four years, and my Sweet Treats business is my latest effort in finding a fulfilling career. And I know that’s totally not the type of person you are, so I was a little afraid to tell you.”
He nodded and took a sip of wine. Then he wrapped his arm around her. She snuggled in against his warm, muscular body, one arm draped across his stomach, her head against his chest and arm, and she waited for him to say something. Anything. For the longest time, he was quiet. He was careful, she realized. Words were his life, and he seemed to choose the most meaningful words, or the ones that most accurately reflected his thoughts. Another thing to add to her Like List.
When he finally spoke, his tone was thoughtful and tender.
“Sometimes it’s the interest we take or don’t take in things that makes them fulfilling—or not.”
“I’m not sure I follow.”
“Well, like with writing. If I wrote about characters or topics I didn’t enjoy, writing wouldn’t hold my interest. But writing is such a personal endeavor that I make a conscious effort to write about the things that do hold my interest. I break the rules. My work isn’t formulaic, and if people don’t like what I write…” He shrugged. “They don’t have to read it, but at least I’m happy while I’m writing.”
“But not every job is like that.”
He set down his wine and turned to look at her. “Tell me about your business. Why did you choose it? Do you enjoy what you’re doing?”
“I love what I’m doing. It’s creative and fun, and I get to meet a lot of interesting people. I have flexible hours. I mean, I really love it, and I know that’s weird, because I’m just making jam.”
“Just? I couldn’t make jam. And you’re not just making jam; your jam is incredibly sweet.” He leaned over and kissed her. “I’m dying to know how you chose that path.”
“It’s kind of weird, I think. There was this really sweet old man, Al Black, and he used to sell jam at the flea market. We were friends for years. I was just a kid when we met, but every summer I’d spend a few hours a week with him at the flea market, and I really came to love him. Like a grandfather, you know? He told me stories about his family, and when he spoke of making jam…” She shook her head, remembering the look in Al’s eyes. “The way he looked, his eyes. It was like making jam was the most romantic thing in the world.” She ran her finger along his forearm, tracing a vein. “He died last winter, but before he passed, he called me and shared his recipes, and I don’t know. Everything came together in my heart. I knew I wanted to do the same thing. It only made sense to do it here, you know, to honor him?”
He cupped her cheek, his eyes laden with compassion. “Leanna, that’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. Do you miss your friend?”
No one had thought to ask her that, and she had to swallow past a growing lump in her throat. “Yeah. I do. This summer is the first summer he hasn’t been here, and I find myself looking for him sometimes. You must think I’m weird.” She looked down at the blanket, and he lifted her chin with his finger and drew her eyes back to his.
“Not even close. I think you’re smart, and kind, and funny, and…special in the very best way.”
She felt her cheeks flush. “I’m not. I’m just trying to find something…”
“Are you fulfilled?” He searched her eyes.
She inhaled deeply before answering, letting the salty sea air fill her lungs. “I guess I don’t know. I always feel like I want to do more.”
“Me too. I always want to do more. I want to write more, write differently, take my readers to new places. Do you want to take your business to another level? Try new things with it? New flavors? Travel more? Or do something else altogether?”
She shrugged, which she knew wasn’t an answer at all. “I never really overthink things. I want to enjoy my job. I want to love it, actually, but I also love life so much. All of it, from the yucky parts to the good parts. I hope to one day find something that fits that part of my personality. I’m enjoying the jam business so much, and the flea markets, that I’m kind of hoping this feeling remains. I just wish I could know for sure now.” Pepper inched up beside them and put his head on Kurt’s leg. Kurt’s eyes never wavered from her.
“Is there some reason you are putting so much pressure on yourself? I can see you’re a little stressed over this. Do you have a career deadline?”
She laughed. “A career deadline? No, but I’m almost thirty. Shouldn’t I know what I want to do?”
He kissed her softly, and she nearly melted into him.
“My mother would say that no two people are the same and not to compare yourself to what others think you should be like.”
Kurt’s voice—and his words—soothed the rough edges of the pressure she had been putting on herself. He made her feel better about her inability to commit to a career.
“So you don’t think I’m a hopeless, reckless, nightmare?”
He smiled. “Wow. All those things and a train wreck? No. You seem like you’re very passionate, and you just haven’t figured out where to direct your energies yet. You’ll figure it out.” He shrugged. “Or you won’t, and if you don’t, you’ll have spent your life doing all sorts of things along the way that you, hopefully, enjoyed, so will it really matter?”
He leaned in closer, and she could barely breathe. He wasn’t judging her. He wasn’t telling her all the reasons she needed to make a career choice. Him of all people. Kurt Remington. The man who knew exactly what he wanted—the man who was slowly stealing little pieces of her heart.
“The truth is, most people spend more time with their jobs than they do with their spouses, so if you don’t enjoy it, you’ll…divorce it.” His voice grew serious. “Life’s too short to stay married to a career you hate. You’re probably smarter than half the people out there who are begrudgingly going to their jobs every day.”
His lips were a breath away from hers. She could smell the sweet wine on them, and she could feel the heat coming off of him in waves. She didn’t think before she spoke. She looked into his eyes, and the words came from her heart.
“Kiss me.”
His eyes narrowed, and in one gentle move, he took her in his arms and kissed her until she couldn’t think, could barely breathe. He lowered her to the blanket, still in his arms, their lips joined, their tongues colliding in a sensuous, lavish kiss. He lay beside her, one leg draped over her hips, his chest pressed to hers, breathing air into her lungs. He brushed her hair from her forehead and slid his hand to the back of her head, tilting it just enough that they both deepened the kiss. He wasn’t groping her body or pushing himself on her—and as much as she craved his big, strong hands on her body, she loved this. The closeness, the way he was kissing her, as if kissing her was all he ever needed. She’d never felt so treasured in all her life.
Pepper whined, and they drew apart, both breathing heavily.
Kurt held her face in his hands and pressed another kiss to her lips. “I like you way more than I should after just a few crazy days.” He breathed heavily.
Oh yes. Me too. She opened her mouth to say just that, but all she could manage was, “Uh-huh.” She felt her cheeks flush again.
He smiled and kissed her again.
He stroked her hair. “This is the first time I’ve really taken time off in weeks.”
“And.” Kiss me. Touch me.
“And there’s no place I’d rather be.”
She reached her hand around the back of his neck and brought his mouth to hers again. She loved kissing him. She couldn’t mess up kissing. It was the mechanics of taking clothes off and maneuvering bodies that she was worried about. But kissing? She could kiss him forever.
He ran his hand up her thigh, and her whole body shuddered. His lips slid to the corner of her mouth and he pressed a soft kiss to it; then he kissed a trail along her jaw to her neck. His strong hand gripped the outside of her upper thigh and held tight. Leanna closed her eyes and arched into him as his lips worked their way up her neck to the sensitive area below her earlobe, where he licked and kissed, then grazed his teeth along her earlobe until her heart thundered against his. She needed more of him, more of his touch, his tongue, his kisses.
He took her earlobe in his mouth and laved it with his tongue, then whispered, “I want to make love to you.”
“Yes,” she said in one long breath.
He brought his forehead to hers. “The sand?”
“Too messy?”
He looked down at the sand. “The sand will be messy, gritty, and uncomfortable, but I don’t care about any of that.” He glanced at Pepper. “But if he takes off while he’s attached to my ankle, it could get a bit awkward.”
She bit her lower lip and glanced at Pepper. “Trust me on this. You’re having sex with me; it’s going to be awkward.”
He nuzzled against her neck. “Why does that totally turn me on?” Kurt kissed her again. “This might sound lame, but I’ve never been a very adventurous guy. I’ve never had sex on a beach.”
“You? Not adventurous? You waded out into a storm and saved me. That’s pretty darn adventurous. But I’ve never had sex on a beach either.”
He cocked his head to the side. “My free spirit”—he kissed her neck—“beautiful Leanna”—he kissed her lips—“has never had sex on a beach? But you’ll whip off your clothes in my living room and put on my sweatshirt when you’ve known me five minutes?”
She was still relishing in his use of the word my. “I knew you about thirty minutes, and there’s a big difference. I’m not shy about being seen naked, but being caught in a compromising position? Not such a pretty sight.” She looked up and down the beach. They were alone, tucked against the side of a dune. The moon reflected off of the ocean, the waves lapped at the shore, and Leanna’s heart thundered inside her chest. At the moment Pepper was being very well behaved, lying in the sand beside them, and the idea of getting out from under tender and sexy Kurt did not seem appealing at all.
Nervousness and desire vibrated through her body. “I’m game if you’re game.”
“Oh, baby, with you? I don’t know what you’ve done to me, but I’m game for just about anything as long as it doesn’t involve a broom or broken glass.”
He covered her mouth with his and kissed her until the last of her worries about being seen and feeling out of sync slipped away, and all that remained was the feel of his full lips, his hard body against her, and the sound of the breaking waves. Kurt’s hand moved along her thigh, and her whole body went hot. She arched into him, and he pressed his cheek to hers.
“I’ve thought about you all day.”
His seductive whisper sent a shiver through her, and when he squeezed her thigh, she sucked in a breath. He gazed at her with serious eyes.
“Want me to stop?” he whispered.
Gosh, no. She shook her head, reached her hand around the back of his neck, and pulled his mouth to hers again.
“Leanna,” he whispered.
She opened her eyes.
“You’re sure you want this?”
“Yes.” Oh, yes. Now, please.
He kissed her softly. “You’re exquisite. Everything about you. You’re not at all awkward.”
She tried to work the buttons on his shirt, but her hands were trembling.
He pressed his hand to hers and held it against his chest. “You’re shaking.”
“A little.”
He kissed her hands. “Are you nervous?”
“A little.” A lot.
“We don’t have to…” His gaze turned serious.
“I want to. I’ve never wanted anything so badly in my life.” Oh, no. Did I just say that out loud? Her gaze darted to his. Oh no! He was looking at her with an amused little smile.
“Me either.” He removed his shirt and rolled it up, then placed it beneath her head. He shifted his eyes to Pepper, fast asleep in the sand. “Think I can untether him?”
“Yes. Quick. Yes.”
He removed the leash from his leg, and Pepper opened one eye, then closed it and went right back to sleep. She felt as if she were under a spell, her eyes locked on the gorgeous broad-shouldered creature before her. Planes of lean muscles and warm skin there for the taking, and boy did she want to take. Anticipation thrummed through her. He came to her then, and she wanted to reach for him, to touch him and love him, but she couldn’t move. He must have noticed, because he came to her, and she finally felt like she could breathe again. She needed to feel his heart beating against hers. Being in Kurt’s arms stole the emptiness from her heart and filled it with an unfamiliar contentment that she never wanted to lose.
“Told you I was awkward.” She bit her lower lip.
He kissed her softly, then brushed his lips over her cheek and looked at her with his sea-blue eyes. “I don’t notice a bit of awkwardness. You’re perfect.”